Help me figure out what to do for DDs 5th birthday b/c every year there's drama!

[cheermom1]

I only do 1 party period ..never have I heard of doing more than one...anyway invite whoever YOU want if they show they show if not oh well...her DF needs to be the one to break the news to them and the nuts well they are just nuts...I like the idea of doing it at a restaurant of some sort so they can't bring any food....good luck

 

[joyjoy]

Sorry you're having such problems. Birthdays should be fun.

I'm honestly curious about this, though: So the fact that your child has an allergy means that ANY party, not just hers, must be peanut free? I can't imagine telling my aunt what kind of cake she has to make for someone else. Isn't it your responsibility to bring an alternative for your kid? Or not go?

Anyway, good luck.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

Sorry you're having such problems. Birthdays should be fun.

I'm honestly curious about this, though: So the fact that your child has an allergy means that ANY party, not just hers, must be peanut free? I can't imagine telling my aunt what kind of cake she has to make for someone else. Isn't it your responsibility to bring an alternative for your kid? Or not go?

Anyway, good luck.

No, I usually bring a cup cake that I have (either a safe one that is prepackaged or one i made and froze). BUT his aunt COVERED the cake in nuts. I just can't even imagine that tasting good . And IDK, in my opinion, if it was my party and someone asked me what kind of cake I wanted I wouldn't request a nut cake or think about making a cake covered in nuts, this was an adult's birthday party, 4 kids were there and they all know of DD's allergy.
Ever since we found out DD was allergic we have not purchased bakery cakes for our kids birthdays as my DD's allergist does not recommend it (me and my aunt, she has 3 boys). Instead I just make the cakes and bring them over there so we all know they are safe for DD to eat.

I do have my Epipen handy along with the single serve benadryls to answer someone else's post. Maybe I should test them on the fam. and dope them up on benadryl lol. j/j

I just don't think I should have to shell out all this extra cash for a chuck e cheese type of party when all I want is something small and inexpensive here, KWIM? And I like making the food b/c I know what is in it. We rarely eat out, we really only do at Disney (lol) and pizza places. We may also attempt the American Girl Place in NYC b/c I have heard they are good with allergies. You would be surprised how many odd things are put on a factory line with nuts (like mickey mouse ravoli, who knew?!?! what an odd thing!).

 

[PaddingtonBear]

This seems like a pretty simple problem. I wouldn't worry about extra guests. Its just cake. Even if your place is small and people are ending up indian-style on the floor, that's not really a problem for you if its not a problem for the guests.

The only "real" problem I see is the allergies. I don't the answer is to stage some show with the epi pen, since I know I'd feel insulted and condecended to by that kind of nonsense. What I would do, though, is send your fiance over to have a heart to heart with his grandma and aunt about allergies. I suspect that they simply don't understand the severity of your daughter's allergies. It sounds like there's some personality clash going on there and I would guess that's the root cause- they think you over-react. Your DF should go over there with some written inforamation about allergies that they can read, prepared to explain how to read lables to verify that foods are allergy safe. I know a kid in my son's daycare class had a peanut allergy. I bent over backwards to be sure the cupcakes I brought in were nut free, including scrubbing down my kitchen, appliances, etc., to make sure there was no trace amount of nut in the cupcakes. After all that work I brought them in and the kid's mom was like, "oh yeah, we just think he had a peanut allergy because he got a rash once on the same day he'd had peanut butter, but we're not really sure". There are a lot of people out there that are kind of flaky. I think your DF could do a lot to explain and make them understand you're not being flaky and understand the dangers.

A cake covered in nuts can be, btw, delicious. I like my carrot cake with all those nuts on the sides. Yum.

 

[C.Ann]

Since you can't exclude anyone without someone getting "mad", the only solution is to have ONE party - for everyone - even if it means renting a firehouse..

Three parties for a child turning 5 is excessive and unnecessary.. If you plan on marrying this person, you will "all" be part of the same family eventually, so make it "one" family event starting this year..

Good luck..