Help me come up with a good punishment for my 17 yr kid (no joke)

[Hannathy]

"Senior skip day" as always been in the last week (usually the last day) around here. So yeah, still 5-6 weeks early

Not way back when I was in school, usually the seniors don't even go the last day.

And for my DD it was about 5 -6 weeks before school was out. Have to do it while there is still school worth skipping ! Who does anything the last 2 weeks. Seniors don't do anything in school once AP's are over and they are in early May.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Not way back when I was in school, usually the seniors don't even go the last day.

And for my DD it was about 5 -6 weeks before school was out. Have to do it while there is still school worth skipping ! Who does anything the last 2 weeks. Seniors don't do anything in school once AP's are over and they are in early May.

Seniors don't go the last week here, but skip day is always THEIR last week. The fact there's nothing going on is why nobody makes an effort to stop it

 

[mousefanmichelle]

....I think that your 17-y-o DS and MY 17-y-o DS are long-lost twins....

Ya maybe! Your son is unmotivated and lazy too? I am sure most teenagers are but I just don't mine to be! Am I really asking too much here lol????!!!!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I'm surprised, he didn't legally lose the privilege to drive, until he was 18. I hope, he is making payments on the car. He may not have a job...but he should still make restitution in some way or fashion.

To answer your question - no he did not legally lose his privilege to drive. He wasn't tickted but a police report was written up. We wouldn't let him get his license for a year after that happened and he had other punishments. We dealt with that at the time and while it still frosts my buns I am letting it go and focusing on the here and now.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I don't think a 17 year old is a man. A lot of 17 year olds (boys and girls both) are extremely immature.

If my 17 year old skips school, I'm not just going to ignore it. He knew he was not supposed to skip, and he did anyway.

So you think some of the suggestions are over the top, but you suggest shoot him?

No what I said was considering the extreme punishments suggested by the 17 is a child perspective, how far would you recommend his parents go with a second transgression.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Ya maybe! Your son is unmotivated and lazy too? I am sure most teenagers are but I just don't mine to be! Am I really asking too much here lol????!!!!

So, um..........

























What did you decide?

 

[ols386]

No what I said was considering the extreme punishments suggested by the 17 is a child perspective, how far would you recommend his parents go with a second transgression.

It would depend on what the 2nd transgression was (I certainly wouldn't shoot him, as you suggested, lol....obviously kidding).

What do you consider extreme punishment for a 17-year-old in this particular case (skipping 1/2 day of school and bring g/f to his house)? Or would you not punish, for something like this?

 

[Hannathy]

It would depend on what the 2nd transgression was (I certainly wouldn't shoot him, as you suggested, lol....obviously kidding).

What do you consider extreme punishment for a 17-year-old in this particular case (skipping 1/2 day of school and bring g/f to his house)? Or would you not punish, for something like this?

I wouldn't punish for this . I would talk to him as an adult and say at this point in school I'm done with you and what you do from now on affects you and not me. You are only hurting yourself if you don't learn something you need or if this affects your grades. I would say next year no one will check up on you and it is up to you whether you go or not.

I would remind him if I had a rule about no girls at the house that if he wants to continue living here for free he needs to follow the rules or else he can get his own place with his own rules.

 

[ols386]

I wouldn't punish for this . I would talk to him as an adult and say at this point in school I'm done with you and what you do from now on affects you and not me. You are only hurting yourself if you don't learn something you need or if this affects your grades. I would say next year no one will check up on you and it is up to you whether you go or not.

I would remind him if I had a rule about no girls at the house that if he wants to continue living here for free he needs to follow the rules or else he can get his own place with his own rules.

I agree with you on this.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

So, um..........

























What did you decide?

Well I have read everyone's suggestions and taylored them to me.

First off I have a nice long discussion with my son about skipping and how that now impacts his grades. Because the 2 instances he has skipped are unexcused it cuts his grade down significantly. His problem. Not mine.

I told him that I would be talking to him and his gf about the no gf at my house rule when we aren't home. I said I had no problem sitting down with both of them and embarrassing the heck out of them with the next topic...the dreaded sex talk . I actually entertained the idea of making them both carry around baby dolls for a few days whenever they were at my house and changing baby doll diapers, etc... That was just for giggles though! More funny than helpful probably.

I said he had to get a job by graduation in May. That one is hard since where we live in Michigan is a challenge but it's out there. If he doesn't get hired somewhere I will have to come up with something next.

I also told him it was time to start taking responsiblilty for himself. No more hand holding from me on what he is supposed to do. He needs to figure some stuff out for himself if he wants to grow up.

Thats where I am at so far.

Thanks for all the comments!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Good job, Mom

 

[Hannathy]

I think you have come to a very sensible and mature resolution!

The only thing I might be a little flexible on is the job. I might say he has to be making a substantial effort at getting a job. Like applications into a few places, looking on line etc, only because places are very slow responding and it is hard to find something. My DD in college has been looking for something and it is taking forever and she has experience and good references.

And until he gets hired somewhere-could he cut grass or yardwork for people?


Now make sure you do something with him soon that you can both laugh at and have fun, they go away all to soon and you will miss him next fall, believe me.

 

[SaraJayne]

Well I have read everyone's suggestions and taylored them to me.

First off I have a nice long discussion with my son about skipping and how that now impacts his grades. Because the 2 instances he has skipped are unexcused it cuts his grade down significantly. His problem. Not mine.

I told him that I would be talking to him and his gf about the no gf at my house rule when we aren't home. I said I had no problem sitting down with both of them and embarrassing the heck out of them with the next topic...the dreaded sex talk . I actually entertained the idea of making them both carry around baby dolls for a few days whenever they were at my house and changing baby doll diapers, etc... That was just for giggles though! More funny than helpful probably.

I said he had to get a job by graduation in May. That one is hard since where we live in Michigan is a challenge but it's out there. If he doesn't get hired somewhere I will have to come up with something next.

I also told him it was time to start taking responsiblilty for himself. No more hand holding from me on what he is supposed to do. He needs to figure some stuff out for himself if he wants to grow up.

Thats where I am at so far.

Thanks for all the comments!

That sounds like a logical and reasonable resolution.

 

[TLSnell1981]

To answer your question - no he did not legally lose his privilege to drive. He wasn't tickted but a police report was written up. We wouldn't let him get his license for a year after that happened and he had other punishments. We dealt with that at the time and while it still frosts my buns I am letting it go and focusing on the here and now.

Good job, Mom

OP... We do the best we can and hope, it's the right thing. I sincerely wish you the best.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I have read everyone's suggestions and taylored them to me.

First off I have a nice long discussion with my son about skipping and how that now impacts his grades. Because the 2 instances he has skipped are unexcused it cuts his grade down significantly. His problem. Not mine.

I told him that I would be talking to him and his gf about the no gf at my house rule when we aren't home. I said I had no problem sitting down with both of them and embarrassing the heck out of them with the next topic...the dreaded sex talk . I actually entertained the idea of making them both carry around baby dolls for a few days whenever they were at my house and changing baby doll diapers, etc... That was just for giggles though! More funny than helpful probably.

I said he had to get a job by graduation in May. That one is hard since where we live in Michigan is a challenge but it's out there. If he doesn't get hired somewhere I will have to come up with something next.

I also told him it was time to start taking responsiblilty for himself. No more hand holding from me on what he is supposed to do. He needs to figure some stuff out for himself if he wants to grow up.

Thats where I am at so far.

Thanks for all the comments!

Sounds good to me. Just remember it is a process you have to tweak together and it will be ongoing for awhile.

Good luck on your journey!

 

[pigletgirl]

I was going to add to this, but it seems like you've come to a good resolution. Its important to have him understand the importance of just showing up and being a hard worker as that carries people through life!

Good job mom!

 

[disneycruising]

Well I have read everyone's suggestions and taylored them to me.

First off I have a nice long discussion with my son about skipping and how that now impacts his grades. Because the 2 instances he has skipped are unexcused it cuts his grade down significantly. His problem. Not mine.

I told him that I would be talking to him and his gf about the no gf at my house rule when we aren't home. I said I had no problem sitting down with both of them and embarrassing the heck out of them with the next topic...the dreaded sex talk . I actually entertained the idea of making them both carry around baby dolls for a few days whenever they were at my house and changing baby doll diapers, etc... That was just for giggles though! More funny than helpful probably.

I said he had to get a job by graduation in May. That one is hard since where we live in Michigan is a challenge but it's out there. If he doesn't get hired somewhere I will have to come up with something next.

I also told him it was time to start taking responsiblilty for himself. No more hand holding from me on what he is supposed to do. He needs to figure some stuff out for himself if he wants to grow up.

Thats where I am at so far.

Thanks for all the comments!

Looks like you have a great plan.

 

[CookieGVB]

That is one ugly ball of spite.

This made me literally laugh out loud. Whatever happened to the tag fairy?