Help! I'm so confused I want to just elope!

[SRUAlmn]

Ok, here are the details. I have been dreaming of a WDW wedding since the day I stepped on Disney property. The first time we ever went was the first Christmas after my dad passed away so I guess I kind of feel close to him when I'm there. Well, my fiance is all for it, and we are planning on getting married in the summer of 2007. However, here are the issues:

1. I don't know for sure if anyone would be able to make it to FL except our immediate family members which would be about 10 people. I think I would be so disappointed walking down the aisle and only having 6 people sitting there (the rest would be in the wedding.) Very anti-climactic and not what I dreamed of as a little girl. Also not knowing for sure who could come might make a difference between having an intimate and a custom, but how do you know that before you book a date and send out save the date cards!?!?

2. If we had the wedding in PA (where both of our families live) we would have more people, but still not a TON and it's not really where we want to have it. Plus, one family is on the eastern side and one family is on the western side, so where would we have it? PA is about 10 hours wide!!

3. We had planned on having a WDW wedding and then a 7 night DCL cruise for our honeymoon which can't happen now because the ship will be in Europe! Any other fun honeymoon ideas that would NOT involve me getting on an airplane?

We just don't know what to do and it's not going to be what we wanted no matter what we choose so it's kind of a let down. I wish I had a million dollars and I could just pay to fly all of our family and friends down for a wonderful time! Maybe that will be one of the parts of the contests next year. A magical dream wedding on the house, er.. mouse

 

[Luvndisney]

sorry you are dealing with all of this stress and in the end what is most important is that you are marrying the love of your life. I get the feeling that this is the wedding you always dreamed of and I for one am all for having your dreams come true. I would say if you ahev your heart set on it maybe send out preliminary invitations (like a survey) to your family and friends and ask " will you be able to travel to our wedding in 1 year if it was in FL?" and give them options. Then you can see who wold come and who would not. YOu might be suprised. we set out thinking oh only close family - aybe 50. well we are having 76 guests. Once you see those you can make a decision.

Some guests may go if they have more than a year to save and plan.

then you need to decide which is more important : having all your family near you on your big day OR having the wedding wear you want it?

Good Luck

 

[JonetteA]

Karen,

I am not sure about this idea but it one that ran through ours. Have a wedding at home. Budget for a "vow renewal" with friends at WDW and add WDW as part of our honeymoon with a shorter cruise. I don't know if this helps, but it was a way to get to do both. On the upside, you get to wear your dress alot and you can get your moneys worth out of it.

 

[SRUAlmn]

Karen,

I am not sure about this idea but it one that ran through ours. Have a wedding at home. Budget for a "vow renewal" with friends at WDW and add WDW as part of our honeymoon with a shorter cruise. I don't know if this helps, but it was a way to get to do both. On the upside, you get to wear your dress alot and you can get your moneys worth out of it.

Thanks for the suggestion. My mom's idea was to do a separate reception at home a couple weeks later. That way people that can't make it can still participate and see me in my dress and stuff. However I don't know which part of PA we would have it in without someone feeling slighted, and it still leaves us with a VERY small ceremony. Also, the shorter cruise is not an option since it only goes to Nassau and Castaway Cay and we have been to Nassau and really have NO interest in going again

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I would do the wedding where YOU want it. If you really want WDW and don't do it, you will regret it (I do). Of course, if you don't have a Disney wedding, you can always plan a vow renewal.

 

[yanners]

We are planning on doing the same wedding/honeymoon that you are.

Personally, I don't think it is a big deal having all the family there. At the end of the day you are going to remember what happened with you and your DH not how many people were there. You will remember the wedding more than anyone else will too.

Secondly, I would change the wedding date to coincide with a possible cruise date. That is just me though.

I have been in a position where I planned a wedding to make everyone else happy and ended up being very miserable. This time we are doing what we want and getting the wedding/honeymoon that we have always dreamed of.

I hope you can find something that works for you.

 

[ead79]

First of all for you. It can be so frustrating that weddings can be so stressful!

Here are my thoughts. First of all, close your eyes and try to envision your wedding day. First envision it at WDW with fewer guets, then envision it at home with more guests. Try to decide which is more important to you--the location or the guest list. There's no right or wrong decision--it's just whatever feels more like your dream day.

Next, if you should choose a WDW wedding, I would feel people out to see if they would be willing to travel. When doing this I would emphasize that you are trying to get realistic numbers, so please don't say you can come just to be polite when you really know you can't. Since it's a destination wedding I think people would understand why you're trying to gauge who can come. You might be surprised at how many people are interested in coming.

As far as your honeymoon goes, what about staying there at WDW. To make it more special than a regular WDW trip you could try some things you might have never done before like a couples massage, Cirque du Soleil, a Segway tour, etc. If the budget allows, you might also stay at a deluxe resort or even concierge level for a little extra pampering. Also, if you'd like some beach time, you could drive over to Disney's Vero Beach Resort for part of your honeymoon too.

I hope that helps!

 

[pixie08]

Our wedding is next summer in WDW and we wanted to do a 7 day dcl as well at first I was devastated but then we decided to stay in Disney for 2 nights after the wedding then rent a car for 1 day and drive to ft lauderdale (4 hours away) drop the car off there and take the Princess 7 day western cruise! Just a thought.Good Luck.

 

[janine]

We had the same thoughts when we were thinking of a Disney wedding.
I live in England and have a huge family. My heart wanted a Disney wedding but my head kept telling me 'what about your family & friends'.
There was a dilemma which ever way I looked at it, so I went with the idea of what would make my day more memorable,a nd of course it had to be the Disney option.
I gave everyone the option to come with us if they wanted. Eventually there were just 17 if us, but you know what?? I dont regret it at all.
My Brothers couldn't come as they just could afford to.
Damian & I are both so happy that those that could come had a ball and will never go to another wedding quite as exciting as a Disney wedding.

 

[Eeyore3838]

Now I don't live far from Disney, and when my Fiance and I started looking at locations, we knew it HAD to be Disney. Our problem was budget, and thats why we decided on the Intimate wedding, and we are going to invite 18 people. We have decided to do the 7 night Disney cruise also, so if it is something you really want to do, would changing the date be an option?? We will have a party where our families live after we get back from the cruise to invite those who we couldn't afford to invite to Disney. But follow your heart, whether it is to be at Disney, or to have all of your families there.

 

[JonetteA]

While the Magic was in Europe, I thought that the Wonder was doing longer cruises....hmmm..

 

[SRUAlmn]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I sent out the email to everyone asking who really thought they could make it, and it's more than 18 people, so we'd do the custom. At least that has been decided. My fiance and I both talked to our parents and that is within our budget (it is a $10,000 minimum, right?) Is it easy to stay right around that number if we would only have about 30-40 people?

As for changing the date, it's not an option. I teach and most of my family members are teachers, so the only time we are available is in the summer. I thought about staying in WDW for the honeymoon, but we thought it would be nice to do something together alone that we haven't done before. Plus, we will probably be there for 3-4 days before the wedding with some of our family.

Jonette: I had heard there would be no 7 night options in the summer of 2007. I actually emailed DCL and asked. The option suggested was 2 back to back 3 or 4 nighters. If they did extend the Wonder to a 7 night for a few occassions I would be THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SRUAlmn]

So we realized that we would have the number of people to do a custom so we looked at the Wishbook to see how much our 'dream' would cost. Then we talked to our families to see what type of budget we were working with. Well my fiance's parents (mostly his dad) are being annoying. They helped us this past fall when we moved and my fiance was trying to find a job for a few months so his dad feels he doesn't need to help us any further. Well, that pretty much ruins our 'dream' scenario. So now we are MAYBE looking at an intimate instead (although my mom said she could find a way to pay for all of it even though she is a teacher and my dad passed away and she has 3 daughters and LOW teacher income and I don't think she should have to stress herself to pay for it all when his family only has him and they have a TON of money.)

So, here are a couple intimate questions.
1. I don't like the cakes. Will they let you pay more and get a custom cake? 2. Also, to save money I thought about doing the honeymoon MK photo session and dressing in 'weddingy' type clothes (someone mentioned a cute white sundress and him in like knaki pants and a white linen shirt- cute!.) Do they do these when the parks are open? What times of day? Do you still get to go up on the castle stairs and stuff?


Ok, thanks for basically reading my vent. Help me!!

 

[disneybridetobe]

Hey Karen! As a fellow PA girl with a teacher mom, I feel your pain! DF and I are doing an intimate wedding. (Sept 2006!!)
Basically, an intimate *IS* eloping for us!!
We booked an intimate wedding in June '06, because we thought no one would ever go to FL. Well, turns out, people would have gone! After a LOT of thinking (and tears) we came to the conclusion that an intimate wedding would be the most memorable. We're up to the limit of 18, and I think that having the nearest and dearest would be best for both of us. (SO MUCH less STRESS!!)
We're having a second reception in Northeast PA, a week after we get back from the Disneymoon, and my mom is going ALL OUT on this party. (At a fraction of the cost of the Disney receptions!) We're going with a whole other theme, and I think it'll be a blast. And *THEN* we're going to have a BBQ in Southeast PA where his dad lives, to include all of his family. So, this wedding is like 3 parties instead of one.

Oh, yeah, we're so upgrading the cake to a round Mickey's Delight, with a white chocolate castle on top! I think it'll be about $150-$175 extra. So worth it!

And I think having a Honeymoon session in wedding-y clothes is a GREAT idea!!

Hope this helps!!

 

[JonetteA]

I am glad that you are getting your dream wedding. Not the perfect way you envisioned, but it WILL be perfect for you. Trust me that the drama, will fade, and you will just choose not to deal with it. I know from experience that that is what I had to do. Let everyone have their "moment" and realize that it is the day that you marry the man of your dreams, and no one can take THAT perfect moment from you.