HELP! Ideas for Bachelor type party (clean)...raffles etc???

[pat fan]

So, my DS is getting married this fall (WOOT!) and our family has never done the bachelor party thing for ANY of the guys. Apparently it's a big deal on her side of the family. They usually do the thing where you sell tickets to the event and have raffles and the guys have to buy tickets for etc....The "etc" has me stumped. While it is her dad that really wants to do this, he doesn't have the time to plan it so it's falling to the fiance's mom & I to plan it. Can't do card games because it's in the church and you can't gamble (but raffle tickets is ok???) so I have no idea. The whole thing makes me squeamish because it's clearly stated to raise money for them and I think it's beyond tacky, but I guess people do this all the time. For the record, DS said in the beginning he didn't want this and he and the best man are just going laser-tagging, but I guess her family expects it, so he'll be very surprised when it happens!

Anyway, her dad suggested a movie, but we decided that would be too long for the guys to sit through, so what other activities could we come up with? There is going to be a meal and a couple raffle baskets.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Horseshoe tournament? Something like that?

 

[pat fan]

Great idea!! But it's inside. Hmmmm...I wonder how much room you need to play corn hole or toss across or something like that?? I know a couple of the guys we know (who may or may not come) play corn hole at their family get-togethers. Thanks for the idea!

 

[firecracker725]

So, my DS is getting married this fall (WOOT!) and our family has never done the bachelor party thing for ANY of the guys. Apparently it's a big deal on her side of the family. They usually do the thing where you sell tickets to the event and have raffles and the guys have to buy tickets for etc....The "etc" has me stumped. While it is her dad that really wants to do this, he doesn't have the time to plan it so it's falling to the fiance's mom & I to plan it. Can't do card games because it's in the church and you can't gamble (but raffle tickets is ok???) so I have no idea. The whole thing makes me squeamish because it's clearly stated to raise money for them and I think it's beyond tacky, but I guess people do this all the time. For the record, DS said in the beginning he didn't want this and he and the best man are just going laser-tagging, but I guess her family expects it, so he'll be very surprised when it happens!

Anyway, her dad suggested a movie, but we decided that would be too long for the guys to sit through, so what other activities could we come up with? There is going to be a meal and a couple raffle baskets.

Sounds like something our friend's future MIL threw for him. To hear DH and his friends (including the groom) tell it, it was something along the ninth circle of hell. They kept going on and on about what a cash grab it was and that it was such a girl thing to do. Some of the raffle prizes were bottles of liquor, cologne, grilling gadgets, and sports bar certificates.

 

[gwynne]

I don't think I've ever heard of a bachelor party planned (and attended?) by the bride and groom's moms.

 

[lucky978]

I've never heard of this type of party. Typically a bachelor party is when the groom and his friends go out together - sporting event, bar, etc.
This sounds sort of like a Jack-n-Jill without Jill. Anyways, you could set up a dart board, or have a corn hole tournament. Or play the washers game. Too bad cards weren't allowed since that's what a lot of guys prefer. Does it have to be at the church?

 

[pat fan]

I don't think I've ever heard of a bachelor party planned (and attended?) by the bride and groom's moms.

Oh I am definitely NOT attending!

The bride's dad wants to do it, but summer is his busy time at work, so he just said anything we could do to plan it would be a great help. Apparently they (or he) has been to many where they live and the raffle baskets are the norm.

To hear DH and his friends (including the groom) tell it, it was something along the ninth circle of hell. They kept going on and on about what a cash grab it was and that it was

YES! I agree, which is why I am so squeamish about it. But, not my call. My husband is completely dreading having to go

Typically a bachelor party is when the groom and his friends go out together - sporting event, bar, etc.
This sounds sort of like a Jack-n-Jill without Jill. Anyways, you could set up a dart board, or have a corn hole tournament. Or play the washers game. Too bad cards weren't allowed since that's what a lot of guys prefer. Does it have to be at the church?

He and the best man ARE going out to laser tag. That is what he wanted for a "bachelor" party. This is what the fiance's dad wants to do FOR him. Yes to the church. What's a washers game?

 

[okeydokey]

Oh I am definitely NOT attending!

The bride's dad wants to do it, but summer is his busy time at work, so he just said anything we could do to plan it would be a great help. Apparently they (or he) has been to many where they live and the raffle baskets are the norm.


YES! I agree, which is why I am so squeamish about it. But, not my call. My husband is completely dreading having to go


He and the best man ARE going out to laser tag. That is what he wanted for a "bachelor" party. This is what the fiance's dad wants to do FOR him. Yes to the church. What's a washers game?

But it is your call if you are asked to plan it. Your son doesn't want it, you don't do this in your family. The bride's Dad wants it for the money but won't plan it. If it were me I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't even have gotten this far. When asked about a bachelor party, I would say that it would be laser tag, end of story.

What does the bride want? If she is turned off as well, she can tell her Dad they decided against the fundraiser.

 

[pat fan]

But it is your call if you are asked to plan it. Your son doesn't want it, you don't do this in your family. The bride's Dad wants it for the money but won't plan it. If it were me I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't even have gotten this far. When asked about a bachelor party, I would say that it would be laser tag, end of story.

Well, I really don't think I can say "I understand this is your tradition, but I refuse it". It's not like it's breaking the law or anything, just not my cup of tea. Everyone makes compromises when getting along with family, so this is mine And I did say he just wanted laser tag. I may mention it again, but really, I can't tell another grown person what they can or can not do when it is the "norm" in their circles. My sister said it's popular at their church too, so I guess maybe it's just us that thinks it's tacky! (my sister does too, her husband doesn't go to any of them)

 

[TipsyTraveler]

What okeydokey said. Besides, does this mean your son's friends are going to have to pay twice to attend two bachelor parties now? Not cool. If the bride's parents feel they need to throw a fundraiser to cover the wedding expenses, maybe you could just offer to cover some of the bills for them and forgo the cash grab.

 

[pat fan]

What okeydokey said. Besides, does this mean your son's friends are going to have to pay twice to attend two bachelor parties now? Not cool. If the bride's parents feel they need to throw a fundraiser to cover the wedding expenses, maybe you could just offer to cover some of the bills for them and forgo the cash grab.

Paying for what two parties? The laser tag thing is just a couple guys going out. No charge except paying their own way into the place. No biggie.

The money from the bachelor party is all going to the bride & groom. Her parents aren't keeping any of it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Paying for what two parties? The laser tag thing is just a couple guys going out. No charge except paying their own way into the place. No biggie.

The money from the bachelor party is all going to the bride & groom. Her parents aren't keeping any of it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

I'm just not a fan of multiple parties to celebrate the same thing because, ultimately, there will be some guest overlap and those people have to make twice the money and time investments.

If the money is being given to the bride and groom it should be all the easier for your son to say, "No thanks, I'm not really comfortable with that." If the bride wants her friends to give her money she can have a fundraising bachelorette party.

 

[mamamary]

I've never heard of this type of bachelor party

 

[pat fan]

I'm just not a fan of multiple parties to celebrate the same thing because, ultimately, there will be some guest overlap and those people have to make twice the money and time investments.

Ok, guess I'm not real clear.

There is one bachelor party. The one the dad is giving. The laser tag is just son and his friend going out. That's it. No "party".

There is one shower for the bride.

No guest overlap because one is for girls, one is for boys.

Sorry again if I was not clear. Just looking for clean entertainment/game ideas.

 

[pat fan]

I've never heard of this type of bachelor party

Me neither, but I guess it's a "thing". Who knew

 

[Jedana]

So, my DS is getting married this fall (WOOT!) and our family has never done the bachelor party thing for ANY of the guys. Apparently it's a big deal on her side of the family. They usually do the thing where you sell tickets to the event and have raffles and the guys have to buy tickets for etc....The "etc" has me stumped. While it is her dad that really wants to do this, he doesn't have the time to plan it so it's falling to the fiance's mom & I to plan it. Can't do card games because it's in the church and you can't gamble (but raffle tickets is ok???) so I have no idea. The whole thing makes me squeamish because it's clearly stated to raise money for them and I think it's beyond tacky, but I guess people do this all the time. For the record, DS said in the beginning he didn't want this and he and the best man are just going laser-tagging, but I guess her family expects it, so he'll be very surprised when it happens!

Anyway, her dad suggested a movie, but we decided that would be too long for the guys to sit through, so what other activities could we come up with? There is going to be a meal and a couple raffle baskets.

That's a...different take...on a bachelor party.

DH's bachelor party was much more........um..exotic?
My bridal party was much more, and I had two pregnant women throwing it.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Paying for what two parties? The laser tag thing is just a couple guys going out. No charge except paying their own way into the place. No biggie.

The money from the bachelor party is all going to the bride & groom. Her parents aren't keeping any of it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Laser tag probably won't end up being laser tag. We told the first of our friends to get married that we were taking him to play racquetball.

That's NOT what we actually did.

 

[SLP958]

It is amazing how people dream up events for themselves these days.

OP, go with your gut.
This is tacky. Don't do it.

 

[pat fan]

Laser tag probably won't end up being laser tag. We told the first of our friends to get married that we were taking him to play racquetball.

LOL, you don't know these kids. Pretty dang sure it'll be laser tag!

It is amazing how people dream up events for themselves these days.

I feel ya'. But again, not my call. Even if I said "hey, I'm not helping in anyway" it would still happen. And apparently it's not something they created because the more peiople I talk to, the more I hear that other people do it. To each their own I guess!

 

[mamamary]

LOL, you don't know these kids. Pretty dang sure it'll be laser tag!


I feel ya'. But again, not my call. Even if I said "hey, I'm not helping in anyway" it would still happen. And apparently it's not something they created because the more peiople I talk to, the more I hear that other people do it. To each their own I guess!

Did you tell them that your son does not want this?