Help. I know I should know but....

[Gramto6inPa]

It's been awhile since I've done this.If you are invited to a bridal shower and get the bride to be a gift,should you also get the couple a wedding gift if your going to the wedding?

 

[helenabear]

Yes, I always get a separate show, bachelorette & wedding gift. I don't think there was ever a time I didn't do that (if I was invited to both/all)

 

[ScarlettO]

Depends.

In some communities you give your wedding gift at the shower....others have "theme" showers (like Linen, kitchen, etc) and you give a small gift relating to the theme , and then a large wedding gift. I believe in some Eastern USA communities, cash is given at the wedding to the bride.

 

[TSTEWARTFAN]

I always give a Bridal shower gift at the shower, and a Wedding gift at the wedding. Usually the wedding gift is money.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Goodness, I guess I am behind the times! I always give a nice gift at the shower and that is it. I honestly did not know people gave shower and wedding gifts! Learn something new everyday here on the DIS!

 

[Mishetta]

Absolutely!

 

[Gramto6inPa]

Thank you for your replies.I guess I was hoping the majority would reply....just one gift.I already have the shower gift and will probably but reluctantly put money in a card for the wedding.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Its a regional thing. When we married, we did not get a shower gift and wedding gift from ANYONE. I have NEVER bought for both occasions, ever, and have never heard of such a thing until i started posting on wedding related boards...

To be safe, I would do both if youre not sure whats the norm in your area.

 

[ScarlettO]

Originally posted by Gramto6inPa
Thank you for your replies.I guess I was hoping the majority would reply....just one gift.I already have the shower gift and will probably but reluctantly put money in a card for the wedding.

Hey Gram......I'd ask a close relative -who is also attending this wedding what to do. When I married-long time ago- my older relatives gave me one nice gift at the shower-and that was their wedding gift...it just depends.

 

[WhenUwishUponAstar]

I guess it is a regional thing because the only people I got more than one gift from were family (close family). I don't usually do both either. Course I was doing all this business 11 years ago things might have changed by now. I can't remember the last time I was invited to a wedding shower. lol I'm sure I'll go through my next round when my friends kids all get married and for me that's at least another 10-15 years!!

 

[aprilgail2]

I am amazed at this thread...I have never heard of only giving one gift for a shower/ wedding....learn something new everyday LOL..... Here you usually get hit for an engagement party gift, then the shower gift, then the wedding gift so it s a 3 gift occassion!

 

[eeyoreforever]

Yikes! I have this same dilemma right now. Maybe it is a regional thing as another poster stated, because everyone I asked said that if you bought a shower gift, you didn't need to get a wedding gift. One lady I asked - her daughter had recently gotten married - and she said the same thing. If someone came to the shower and brought a gift, they did not bring one to the wedding. If you are expected to take a gift to both, I, for one would have to get something much cheaper for the shower to be able to also buy a wedding gift. Hope I didn't ramble too much.

 

[aprilgail2]

I usually try to keep it at 50 or under for the shower and then the wedding if I go alone its 100.00 check, if I bring a guest then its a 200.00 check. For an engagement party I try to keep it at 30.00 and under, I hate engagement parties...half the time the couples break up and never get married...then you get the gift back and what am I going to do with whatever piece of their flatware or china set it was that I got them LOL!!!

 

[Keli]

Very few people in this area buy more than one gift for the engaged couple. They either attend the shower and give it to them then or they bring it to the wedding.

 

[skuttle]

I always figure out how much I want to spend total and then divide it between the wedding and the shower. I try to get something more decorative for the shower and then something more useful (appliance, towels, etc) for the wedding. We always give two gifts and so does everyone I know.

 

[fran99999]

Gram

It is the custom here to give both a wedding and shower gift. My family has a custom to join with another family member. Each time a different one and combines $$ to give both gifts.

We also if this is a first marriage and the first time moving out will have one of the groups start a basket( laundry) of cleaning products ie household must haves. This is much more expensive than thought. Another will make up a basket ( dish drainer) of spices and such must haves. We give these at the Shower.

We do have a large family base. I have 7 sisters husband has 10 brothers/sisters.

Yes I have 10 kids and all together and over 75 neices nephews. I wouldn't be able to afford disney if we didnt do this.

 

[buzzlady]

For the shower I give a gift that is for the house (about $25 range) and then for the wedding a gift of cash.

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, this is a really interesting thread. I know here in the NE it's a gift for the shower and another for the wedding.

 

[Gramto6inPa]

Thank's to everyone who replied about the one or two gift question.You have given me some food for thougt.

 

[Beth76]

Wow!! This is absolutely shocking! I live in St. Louis (for my whole life) and I've NEVER heard of giving only one gift. If you're invited to both, you bring a gift to both. I would say a smaller gift for a shower and a bigger one for the wedding. But usually the shower is attended by just me and the wedding by me and my husband, thus the wedding gift being bigger.