Help. How do you keep your extended families and friends who travel with

[daisylove]

you to WDW from killing each other.

What started out as a dec trip for just me DD and DH is quickly turning into a convention of friends and family who will be there at the same time and who want to link there ressies to ours so we have close rooms and who want to do the MVMCP at the same night and who want, want, want... gasp ...togetherness. Keep in mind my DH hates!!! traveling with other people and not all of the folks who are going are his all time faves to spend time with back home either. But they are all very nice and not anyone I would want to hurt or specifically exclude or avoid if I am asked point blank "hey lets see each other at WDW". Just to defend myself. I never planned this or encouraged this but one found out we were going who told another etc... So, how do you get just me/family time without hurting anyones feelings? We also are the only ones taking a chld (DD5) who everyone loves and wants to share the magic with. Help!!

 

[gigi1313]

YIKES! you've got yourself quite the dilemma! not sure what the answer is!

i'm going to suggest that you establish limits immediately... don't be vague in your answers, be strong... yes, we will meet you for xyz, no we are planning a family day on tuesday, etc...

as far as all sharing your little one's magic... well, do it the disney way... charge 'em! rent him out like a "pal mickey" and tell family members they can have him from 3 to 5 on monday, another group gets him for chef mickey breakfast on wednesday! maybe you'll make enough to pay for spa services while your little one is being entertained by friends and family!

seriously, i think just being strong in your convictions... maybe draft a rough itinerary (monday MK, tuesday AK, including ps's and any shows you are planning to see) and then decide which parts of your itin are open to others and which parts are "yours" and let the tag-alongs know this in advance!

good luck and try to enjoy!

 

[Doodlebug939]

Daisylove- I feel your pain. Oh boy do I ever. We went to Disney last year as a family of 4 (DH,DD,DS and myself) and had a wonderful time. Magical does not describe it. I have never felt so relaxed and fell in love with my husband and children in a whole new way. That powerful. My daughter who was just under three last year cried on the last night when we left the castle (fireworks) on the last night. Well Daddy and I are a sucker for her and really for all of us to want to go back. Well I must have talked too much about it because now everyone wants to go and me to do all the work.

Started out that is was just us from Nov-13 to the 19th. Easy wonderful week to go.

Now our friends who havent seen us want to come in for the weekend. So now the 13, 14, 15th we spend with them. That part is ok because it is really leisurely because they have season passes and they are coming to see us not go to the parks commando style.

Next, our friends leave Monday afternoon and then my mom flys in on Wednesday. She want to experience Disney for the first time with my children. (Actually her first time at Disney)

Then on Friday my sister, her son and his wife and there 4 children under 4 are coming down. So now we are moving over to the home that she rented for all of us. (Actually I found it and made all the arrangement and she paid the bill. So I am lucky in that part. She is not asking me to really spend any more money then I would have if we had went home).

So our party has turned from 4 to 12. Talk about stress level. My husband is less then thrilled but he loves me and really is trying. I had to set down the ground rules for us that we could all live with. I set out that we would have only two family days at the parks at restuarants that we could all enjoy and relax. And we will have our evenings and two days at the house that has a pool.

I would give everyone the reservation list if you plan on dining together and what park on what day but I wouldnt follow a system to do certain rides as a team. Or set up a time to be together at the pool in the evening or set up a meeting place to watch a show.

In the end it wont be the trip you envisioned but it will hopefully be magical in its own special way. Plan a few solo meals if you can. Or ask everyone what is a few special things that are on their must do list and then plan accordingly that way everyone can enjoy themselves and no one feels left out.

I hope you have a wonderful time.

 

[Mortlives]

Have you considered suggesting a couple of grand gatherings events, and then make it clear that you like to do your own thing the rest of the time? It's great if people you know will be there at the same time, but remember that you didn't invite them, and therefore owe them nothing. You can be gracious and make the odd arrangement to meet, etc, but remember that anyone suggesting linked reservations, or similar, is inviting themselves along on your vacation. How rude! Anyway, the words "I'm sorry, we have plans for that time, " will probably stand you in good stead without a lot of hurt feelings.

Kungaloosh!
Morticia.

 

[andriade]

I am kind of in the same boat you are. We are going with a group of 11 and my DH is not thrilled. What I did was this:I made an itinerary to follow. I said this is what WE are doing. Follow us or not! We have DS(18 months) and I am pregnant so he and I cannot go on all of the big rides. I just know that these other parents are going to dump their kids on ME while they ride the BIG rides. I have decided that before the trip I will politely say that we should all watch our OWN kids. Since you are going with other adults this shouldn't be a problem. Eat a few meals with them and you will be fine. Plus, they might not all want to follow a 5 year olds schedule. Good luck!

 

[crisi]

You say "No."

Actually, you say "I think its great you will be in Disney at the same time we will. I hope we can meet up a few times."

When they want to link reservations, say "this is really our family vacation - we'd love to see you guys while we are down there since you will be down there, too, but this is really a family thing for us." Personally, I don't think linking reservations would be horrible - unless they are really pushy or are going to follow you around or get mad if you leave without them or want to sleep in when they want to go.

If they are going for you guys, they'll get the hint and change plans. If they are going for themselves - which is why they should be going, they will have a great time without you and you can hook up a few times.

Its more important that your husband isn't hurt than you hurt the feelings of your friends - - who were apparently pushy enough to invite themselves along. If my husband planned a family vacation for us, and then I discovered I was going to have to put up with his family and friends 16 hours a day - I'd be incredibly hurt.

 

[daisylove]

Trust me I will put my DH and DD wants and needs before ANYONE elses. I also have time to get things settled as I am not even telling him until after our anniversary in Nov. DD will tell the week before. (Neither will get the full details of what I have planned while there until it happens) I think that you all are right . I will set ground rules. I will notwait and follow someone elses schedule. You are also right in that one group linked there ressies with us and did not ask. So we will do our thing and whatever else falls into place will.
Thanks W