HELP! Girl calling 5th Grade DS!!

[tidoublegger]

Ok, here is the deal...my stepson is in the 5th grade and is 10 going on 11. There is a girl from his grade calling the house and is calling herself his girlfriend. 5th GRADE!! How worried should I be? Is this the norm these days?!?!? What would you do???

 

[Beth76]

Is she bothering you? Or just calling to talk to your son? Does your son not say she's his girlfriend. I wouldn't worry about it unless your son is bothered. Boyfirends/girlfriends at this age are no big deal. It's really more just a title.

 

[Serena]

Ask her nicely not to call.

 

[tidoublegger]

bump


anyone else with some advice on how to handle this?

 

[grinningghost]

Don't get too worried. At this age, they like to say they're boyfriend/girlfriend, but it never amounts to anything. They see each other in class and usually don't even speak to each other.

It will probably pass before you have time to react.

 

[TheBellhop]

Well, I'm in 8th grade, and it's not so much as the serious thing as it is being popular. You're popular if you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend. So, as the other poster said, it's more of a title. And at 5th grade? I have friends that are girls and they call often, just as my friends who are boys. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Kallison]

My middle DS is in 6th grade and some of his classmates are "dating" and a couple. He knows he is not allowed to have a girlfriend, say he has a girlfriend, go to a movie with girl alone. I actually saw two of his classmates on a date. I think that is way too young.

 

[CarolA]

I think it is pretty normal. My Girl Scouts do it, but they don't really date or anything... they just seem to call the boy thier boyfriend and vice versa and everyone is happy. (Of course I have also discoverd that this can be a one way steet.... if you like the boy he is your boyfriend even if he doesn't talk to you LOL)

I would let him deal with it. If he doesn't want to talk to her, she will move on and if he does by forbidding it you just make it look more attractive. Forbidden fruit always tastes better.

 

[Puffy2]

what does your SON say?

 

[zurgswife]

I wouldn't make a big deal about it but I would ask her to stop calling and make sure your son knows the reason.

Girls/Boys that age are more and more active sexually (not refering to only the big deed)...Not all kids mind you but enough that I make sure my sons are aware that they are too young for a girlfriend relationship.....We have had problems in the past 2 yrs with 5/6th graders getting caught (hands and bodies way to close with the people they are "dating").

My children boys and girls....my kids are dd13, ds 11 & 12, dd7 will not be dating until they are closer to 16....kids are growing up to fast sexually these days and I'm going to do everything I can to slow it down...LOL

 

[holycow]

I think you know your DSS best...talk with him.... I know everyone here semms to think it is just a title....but some of the kids I've seen at malls, movies etc...who can't keep their hands to themselves.....who knows what they are up to!


Holycow

 

[disneychrista]

What is it about it that is upsetting to you? Is she calling continuously?

IMO a boyfriend/girlfriend in 5th grade is nothing to get upset or worried about. From what I can tell it means they hang out at lunch and maybe hold hands.

 

[tidoublegger]

It just seems so aggressive to me...a 5th grade girl calling everyday! DSS doesn't initiate the calls, but will return one if his mother takes a message.

I think that for the most part 5th graders who have "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships just see eachother at school, and indeed, it's just a "title" with them not even really talking.

What troubles me here is her persistance. I have 3 kids older than my DSS and not one of them ever pursued anyone or was pursued. I think it's over the top, IMHO.

While I don't want to forbid them from talking...(ie: forbidden fruit comment from earlier poster), I do think there should be some limits. The most obvious is not going on a physical date.

Do you think it's unreasonable to tell this girl that DSS can take phone calls if it's not a school night, but ask her not to call on school nights? They are only in the 5th grade!!

Am I reading more into this than I should be or is this over the limit as far as her aggression goes?

 

[PooohBear]

you're reading WAY to much into this !!! My DD is in fifth grade and a lot of the girls call the boys.... it's really not a big deal unless your DS wants to "go out" with the girl.....I would draw the line there !!! I have a similar problem with a fifth grade boy calling my DD and he keeps asking her to GO OUT with him..... that will not happen at this age in my book!!! but a lot of these kids are friends and call each other, obviously the girl just likes him, no biggie

 

[Tiffany]

Originally posted by tidoublegger
Ok, here is the deal...my stepson is in the 5th grade and is 10 going on 11. There is a girl from his grade calling the house and is calling herself his girlfriend. 5th GRADE!! How worried should I be? Is this the norm these days?!?!? What would you do???

I would not worry. I had a "boyfirend" when I was in sixth grade. This was back in 1981 so it is not a new thing. Also, it was stuff like going to the movies and we played on the same coed sports teams and things like that.

 

[auntpolly]

Persoanlly I think it is no big deal unless the boy is getting frustrated with the attention and doesn't know how to call her off.

But I think the people you need to talk to about this your husband and the boy's mother. How do they feel about it? I think that you all should be on the same page about stuff like this.

 

[decker96]

I had my first "boyfriend" when I was in 5th grade. I agree it was just a title, but I never called him and he never called me either.
I think that the no calls on school nights would be a good idea if you're concerned about them talking too much. Does your stepson want to talk to her? My oldest nephew had girls start calling him when he was in junior high (he's 17 now) and most of the time he would tell my SIL to tell them he wasn't home because he didn't want to talk to them. If DSS wants to talk to her then maybe they are good friends and she's just calling him her boyfriend.

 

[mom2boys]

Originally posted by Puffy2
what does your SON say?

My thoughts exactly. I have a 5th grade son. He has no interest in a girl firend. He is friendly towards girls and will play with them (board games at indoor recess - mixed boy/girl group if that is the game he is interested in). A 5th grade girl on the bus announced that she like Nick and another boy but she couldn't say who because he was sitting next to her. Well guess where my son was. In response, he pretended to pick his nose - that did the trick, she's not intereset any more. :ROTFoL:
Of course, DH warned my son that all the other girls will consider him a nose picker now. He's fine with that - for now.

 

[DiaDeGuadalupe]

We went through this when DS was in 6th grade. There was a girl who called 5 or 6 times a day, and sometimes she'd have her friends call him, too. Mind you, he didn't even KNOW those friends, either! It really got annoying for everyone in the house, and that, coupled with the fact that there was a baby in the house who would wake up when the phone rang, or we'd be trying to have dinner when the phone rang, etc., it got to be too much. I ended up emailing the girl's mom (I knew not to call because the mom worked a lot and there was no other parent in the house. Thank goodness for the student address book *and* technology). The mom emailed back thanking me for letting her know what was going on, and if it happened again, to let her know. Everything was great for about a week. Then, the calls started again. We got a lot of hang-ups and I went ahead and did the star 69 thing. The girl answered and then tried to deny calling. I told her I was going to contact her mom again. I emailed and got no response, but the calls stopped completely. Guess the 2nd time was a charm.

I know that some of the posters said not to worry, but after all of this had happened, I found out from other moms that the same girl and a group of her friends were calling all of their sons, too. One mom even found a lewd letter to her son from one girl, but never said anything about it to the girl's parents. I told her that if it were my daughter, you'd better believe that I'd want to know so I could set her straight. Anyway..... If the girl's calls are really persistent and to the point where your family life is interrupted, try to contact the parents and then go from there. Hope that helps!

 

[tidoublegger]

Thanks for all the great advice! : )