Help! Foster parents

[twinmom319]

Hi all -

My sister and her wife are new foster parents! They were blessed to take care of two boys for just 1 month so far but they are in love with what they are doing. We are planning a trip to WDW in June (my sister, her wife, and whatever children they have; and myself and my 3 kids) and are running into some complications that we could use some help with.

Currently, no children are placed with them (the children they were taking care of were placed back with the family right before Thanksgiving.) However, they are actively on the list and so up to 2 kids can be placed with them at any time, so they are thinking of making the reservation for 4 people. They are getting mixed signals from Disney re: being able to change the name on the reservation for the kids (although that will probably be ok). Their biggest concern is if they make the reservation for 4 but then either A) no kids are placed or B) kids are placed, and then re-placed with family right before the trip - they are concerned that they will then lose that money. In addition to whatever ADRs require pre-payment...

Anyone have ANY experience with this kind of situation? Any solutions? Thanks, wise Dis-ers!
And if anyone knows of a better board for this question let me know!

 

[Thing 1]

Check with the foster care agency first. They may very well not be allowed to take any children they have. In our county, you have to have permission from both the social worker and the biological parents and sometimes the GAL. MANY times, the parents will not give that permission. Second, in some areas, the insurance that covers the children is only effective in that state. If you take those children out of state, you must provide insurance for them. Also remember when booking with Disney, they will have no idea what age these children might be. They could have an under three-free child, or an older WDW adult child. I work closely with the DSS system and my son is a social worker. I so commend your family for embracing these precious children and wanting to give them this wonderful experience, but just want to be sure they are being realistic. Reality is they may have to decide if they are willing to put any placement kids into respite care in order to go on the trip.

 

[twinmom319]

Thanks! My sister has actually spoken extensively with the foster agency and have gotten the go-ahead to plan as here they have very few problems with approval. Plus, there is no way they would put the kids in respite care, so if they didn't get approval they would not go.

So, given all that, my question is about booking, reservations, and ADRs. Has anyone had a situation where the composition of their group changed, or has anyone dealt with a situation like this? If they just assume for safety that they will have two "older than three" children going, has anyone dealt with changing names/ages? Thanks for all your help!

 

[Fosteringaprincess]

Hi. We've had 2 Disney trips with a foster child. We had no problem getting it approved because in our area they want you to take children with you. They want them to feel included and part of the family. We are only approved for one child. So we added one child to all reservations for food ( just incase bc the 1st trip we didn't have a placement yet during planning). Also we picked a room that would accommodate an extra person. That was the advice our Disney travel agent told us to do. That way if we got a placement ( and we did) the name and age could be added but we had space available already. Another option is stay offsite. The 2nd trip we did this which was fine too. Easier to plan. Hope this helped

 

[eeyoreandtink]

I would just book a room that can house 4 people and make all dining reservations for 4. You can always take away from a dining reservation, but it is difficult to add. If they have children going with them they should know by 60 days out and can buy tickets then to make fastpass reservations.

 

[Fosteringaprincess]

If they have children going with them they should know by 60 days out and can buy tickets then to make fastpass reservations.[/QUOTE

This may be true but they could also get a child right before the trip... It's possible. So just be flexible. Go on and book fast passes for your family as u normally would there's nothing different you can do there...just be open to moving things around we moved fast passes around 2 weeks before our Oct trip and got almost everything we wanted. I think you guys will have a terrific trip....

 

[Gracie09]

We added our daughter (then foster daughter) a week before we left. This was pre fp+ though. We did have some issues with adding her to some adrs so I would make those for the max you expect to have and adjust later. I would just remember (and I'm sure they will) Disney can be very overwhelming to any child but one who recently experienced trauma it can be even more. We had buzz light year as our first ride and dd freaked out and tried to get out of the car. She would not go on a dark ride the rest of the trip.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We added our daughter (then foster daughter) a week before we left. This was pre fp+ though. We did have some issues with adding her to some adrs so I would make those for the max you expect to have and adjust later. I would just remember (and I'm sure they will) Disney can be very overwhelming to any child but one who recently experienced trauma it can be even more. We had buzz light year as our first ride and dd freaked out and tried to get out of the car. She would not go on a dark ride the rest of the trip.

This is definitely something to consider. I have never had foster kids, but I work with small kids (some of whom have been in the foster system). I think it would be very difficult to plan a trip for kids that you may get down the road, not knowing anything about them. I've had kids in my class who could not handle a Disney trip, let alone with a new family. We had one child who had a very hard time just going home with his foster mom each day after school. She was a wonderful, patient person and treated him very well. The child had been shuffled from his parents to various family members for a few months before he finally landed with the foster family. He was scared and anxious from the instability created by his situation. He would come in crying and not wanting to stay with us. We would get him settled down and engaged with toys. He would generally do well for most of the class session. When the foster mom would show up, he would start all over again. For the first few months, she would have to limit new people coming into their home because he would become anxious and get very upset. The parents basically took him to school but kept him at home for quite a while until he adjusted. They tried trips to the park or the store, but he would become too anxious. I don't think they would have been able to take him on a Disney trip. It really would have been a disaster for everyone involved.

On the other hand, you many get very adaptable kids who would love a trip with you. I guess it would be difficult to know until you meet the kids. Personally, I wouldn't put down any non-refundable deposits until I knew for sure if the trip was going to be doable.

 

[moesy4]

We have been a foster parent for 4 years total now, and I would agree with the PPers...that first month or two with the kids is super overwhelming for them, a lot of changes, a lot of figuring each other out, and a lot of learning the trauma that child has gone through. Even in the best situation, IMO, it would be a terrible time to take a foster child to Disney, regardless of age. If a child has any sort of trauma/sensory/emotional issues (which is pretty much guaranteed), it will take months of really getting to know them to learn if they are capable of handling something like Disney at any point, much less right after placement.
One month with a placement is really just skimming the surface and each case is soooo different. We got our soon to be adopted son at 3 months and he hadn't even been in his parent's care (just Grandma's but mom was around) and I honestly didn't think a child could be affected by much trauma at that age since as far as we know, he wasn't outright abused. That first year was like a horrific roller coaster...he was so traumatized we had to do months of therapy, intensive work with him, he went through a period of 6 months where he would scream for 6-7 hours each day uncontrollably, and I'm now in therapy to help me work through some of my own trauma from that year. And like I said, he was only 3 months old when we got him! Thankfully he is well adjusted now and for the most part you would just consider him a super active 2 year old, but we still adapt daily to meet some of his special needs from his trauma.
All that to say, as the PPers have suggested, I would go ahead and book and plan as if they had the extra two people. Assuming they are booking a package and need to cancel by 45 days out, if they have a placement at 45 days out they could make a judgement call based on the kids and the length of time they have been placed as to whether or not to still go. If they do not have a current placement at that point, I would suggest they would have to make the call as to whether to put themselves on hold for new placements and attend their vacation and then accept a placement after that point, or cancel their vacations at the expectation they would have a new placement sometime before vacation and wouldn't go.
I would definitely get in writing as well that the agency will let them attend the vacation...as the PPers have suggested, every state is different and it can be anything from permission from just the supervisor to getting the parents permission AND a judge's approval. Unfortunately in this system, by next June they could have had 6 different caseworkers and it really won't matter what one person said who is no longer with the agency, they might end up eating the money. We've had our soon to be adopted son for 2 1/2 years and went on our 10 year anniversary cruise a few months ago as just a couple and got permission for him as well as our bios to stay with my parents as opposed to him getting stuck in respite (technically in our state they can't stay overnight with anyone who isn't a licensed foster parent). Two days before we left, we got a text from our new caseworker implying he may not be able to stay there....I was freaking out at the idea of leaving him with strangers. Thankfully it worked out, but nothing is ever set in stone!

 

[holden]

We adopted both of our daughters through the foster care system. There are too many unknowns in this situation. What if they get a child who is having a hard time adjusting? How would a trip affect that child? I would recommend they postpone the trip until they were positive any children they have in their care can handle the trip.

 

[Imanonymous]

What about trip insurance that includes a "cancel for any reason" clause?

 

[Ladygoldenhair]

Hi all -

My sister and her wife are new foster parents! They were blessed to take care of two boys for just 1 month so far but they are in love with what they are doing. We are planning a trip to WDW in June (my sister, her wife, and whatever children they have; and myself and my 3 kids) and are running into some complications that we could use some help with.

Currently, no children are placed with them (the children they were taking care of were placed back with the family right before Thanksgiving.) However, they are actively on the list and so up to 2 kids can be placed with them at any time, so they are thinking of making the reservation for 4 people. They are getting mixed signals from Disney re: being able to change the name on the reservation for the kids (although that will probably be ok). Their biggest concern is if they make the reservation for 4 but then either A) no kids are placed or B) kids are placed, and then re-placed with family right before the trip - they are concerned that they will then lose that money. In addition to whatever ADRs require pre-payment...

Anyone have ANY experience with this kind of situation? Any solutions? Thanks, wise Dis-ers!
And if anyone knows of a better board for this question let me know!

They should let the agency know so there are no children placed. An extended trip with short term placement could be a huge issue getting permission from everyone. They would be leaving the jurisdiction, the kids might need health care or be injured, anything can happen with kids. But, I've seen a lot of time consumed for an over night trio within driving distance, let alone flying to another state.

 

[DopeyDame]

I'll echo others that I'm suprised the agency is encouraging them to take kids to WDW - it's such a hugely overwhelming place. We adopted, and WDW is often used as the classic "don't take brand new kids there until you really know them and they really know you" When kids are in the midst of such trauma and change, an over-stimulating place like WDW can be really horrific.

As for the actual WDW questions... We had a sorta-kinda-similar situation in that my BIL didn't know if he'd be able to join us until the last minute. We were told to make the hotel reservation without him, and if he showed up, they can easily add his name to the reservation at the last minute (assuming the hotel room had the space for him, of course). So book a room that will hold 4 (which is easy) but just give them the names of the people you know.
For dining reservations, I'd do the opposite - make a reservation for the most you think will be there and cancel if needed (in advance of the cancellation policy, obviously)
Park tickets can obviously be bought at any time.
FP+ is probably the one thing that oyu really will just have to wait and see - partly for Disney logistics but more because without knowing the ages and interests of the kids coming, there's really no point. A 15 year old boy isn't going to want to FP+ Elsa, and a 4 year old girl isn't going to be able to ride on Space Mountain.

 

[snowman]

To pick up on an old(er) thread, Gratz to your sister and her wife. It is definitely not an easy job. My wife was a GAL befor becoming an ADA. We have been licensed for 2 years. Our first placement was a little girl (3) who easily could have made a trip to Disney. However, 10 months ago the child that is now our son, was placed with us. He was 6 and had been in placements for 2 years. He would not have been able to handle a trip to Disney anytime in his first 4 months. He could barely manage Wal-mart or the local breakfast joint. Meltdowns were part of our daily routine....good trips were ones when I didn't have to carry him out of the store or listen to him scream for the ride home. We never doubted our commitment to him, even in the face of these behaviors. But part of that commitment meant thinking how we could help him succeed. That frequently meant cutting trips short or utilizing "divide and conquer" in the grocery store.

In his 10 months he has come so far. We are now comfortable planning his first Disney trip. But if we hadn't taken the time at the start to get to know him and his strengths, and had tried a big trip sooner, it would have been bad for all of us.

 

[memakwed]

Here's what I can answer since your question is really about adjusting numbers and people in your party. When making ADRs just make the max number your party may be. For example if your possible max is 9 make your adds for that. If you come with less say 7 it will be fine and for those adr's with the $10 pp no show it won't apply because your party showed just a different number of guests. A full prepaid meal like CRT I am not sure if you called ahead to reduce your number if it is refunded. I have not been in that situation. When making ADRs you do not need to list all party members even though it asks so no worries if you don't have names. I am not sure about the hotel and magic bands or fp+.