Help! DS is a Jr. What to do to get ready for college

[QueenRocks]

I currently have a freshman in college, a senior in high school, and a freshman in high school. My oldest was interested in physics, so when we visited colleges, my husband contacted the physics dept. The faculty are very helpful. He took a tour the dept. and also was able to sit in on a class. This past summer we took our second son and he toured the computer science and music departments of a few colleges and sat in on classes also. I definately recommend visiting while school is in session. They get a great feel for the campus. Contact any departments your son may be interested in. Many colleges have information sessions not only for the whole school, but for individual programs. In our experience, the faculty have been very helpful. Both my sons enjoyed sitting in on the classes.

 

[Schmeck]

If MIT is a serious choice, your son needs to be higher than top 5%, and he needs to have life experiences and interests outside of the school. MIT takes only about 10% of applicants, offers no merit scholarships (everyone there is brilliant, so they all would deserve one!) and doesn't offer much in the way of financial aid for the middle class. I believe they accepted only 500 out of over 5000 Early Action applicants. They also don't accept very many AP courses, even if the student gets a 5 on the exam. It really helps to have a perfect score on the math SAT as well.

It's doable, but there's got to be more on the application besides AP classes and school based clubs.

 

[tar heel]

You need to visit colleges. They all have admission open houses, so it's pretty easy. After you've been to a couple, you'll have a much better idea of the kind of school he wants and what questions he and you should be asking.

That all good students get lots of scholarships is totally BS UNLESS they go to specific schools. The truth of the matter is that some schools have more merit scholarships than others and the more selective school, the harder it is to get one as the poster talking about MIT mentioned. One of my sons got a bunch of merit scholarship offers from schools he had no interest in attending. He got $1,000 a year from the school he went to and nothing from the school that would have been his second choice.

 

[bumbershoot]

Dad dreams of MIT, but it's so far away. Sorry. Mom moment. I don't show him those too often.

Far away is so relative. My mom wouldn't agree to my going to NYU because it was so far away from CA where we lived. So I decided to go to school up here in the pacific NW. Then she got divorced, re-met her childhood sweetheart, decided to marry him, and moved. To Miami FL.

And further to things being relative, not college related but travel...when I grew up in San Jose CA, we went to Disneyland maybe 3 times (we meaning me and my brother, and one parent). We drove, and it took ages. Now that I live in WA, we fly in a fraction of the time, and my family has been something like 10 times altogether since '05. Not counting my solo trips. Somehow Anaheim is "closer" to Tacoma than it was to the Bay Area....


He should start getting things from plenty of colleges because of the PSATs. Both my brother and I did really well on them, and we were inundated.

As for knowing what he wants to do...eh. IMO, college is to get a nice broad education, first off. Take those interesting courses, broaden your mind, be Educated. That's for the first two years, then you settle in and major in something more career minded.

At my university, you didn't have to declare a major until you were at the end of soph year, and you could switch with no problems. Other colleges charge fees to change majors (weird).


When I was in HS, half of my friends wrote things about my future Hollywood and/or Broadway career, because I wanted to go to UCLA or NYU for theater training. (which is really weird, because I had long been accepted to the college I went to, which was neither of those!) The other half talked about my future PT career, because that's the reason I chose my college, because itw as one of the few that was still offering a BS in Physical Therapy as other universities were going to Masters only (and now the college only does a Masters in PT and OT, no more bachelors).

I met some PT students, didn't like their competitiveness, realized I'd be around injured, sick, otherwise miserable people all day, and decided against it.

I decided to go into Asian studies, as I'd already had a year of Japanese when my HS became a magnet school senior year (language and communications was the magnet school emphasis) and I dumped Spanish. Then I met the ONLY Japanese teacher, and it was hate at first sight on both sides.

I finally defaulted into exercise science, then decided to become a chiropractor and the classes just went into that.

And now I'm a person with a child who is homeschooling that child and not working for pay in any way.

Life.....and I don't regret my expensive education at all!


[and on a different note, my husband was VERY smart, better grades than I had in HS. he chose to go to UW in Seattle, but stopped before he finished his sophomore year due to problems at home (his parents had spousal abuse problems...guys get a thing about wanting to protect their mom, forgetting that moms are grownups who have chosen to stay...my half brothers are doing the exact same thing even though my stepmom is a grownup who doesn't need their protection, and in fact they make things worse). He really had wanted to go to MIT, but his English score was too low...his parents branded him a loser, but I let him know decades later that they were very likely urging him to RE-TAKE the SAT after studying up, and then he might have gotten in...it's so sad that his parents didn't help him realized that.

But anyway, that college dropout is now supporting us, and very well indeed.]


Well, the one regret I have is that I do wish I'd gone to NYU or Tulane for theater sometimes, just b/c that would have been more fun. But it wouldn't have led me on the path that got me *here*, and here is good.



This one girl I was friends with in college...she was extremely mature, and very capable of taking care of herself...her parents lived across town. Our university required freshmen to live on campus, but still, she could have dinner there and do her clothes and go home for weekends, and it didn't keep her from growing up.

I went far far away, and still wanted my mommy often; she and my stepdad actually got an 800 number so I could call whenever I wanted and not worry about the cost.

My brother went to Duke (his degree was VERY career-focused, Electrical Engineering, and while he isn't an engineer he uses a lot of that education in his career) which of course was only two states away after the parents moved to VA, and he was very independent, even defiant, from the beginning.


The independence thing...it's very personality-based, so I wouldn't stress too much about if he stays nearby or goes away, as long as you're reasonable with home rules if he stays.


I would make sure whatever college he chooses allows changes in majors without any penalty (other than needing to take different courses)! That was very helpful for me.

 

[MrsPete]

Smart but shy, doesn't go out often, just starting to talk to girls as a junior . . . I'm hearing "late social bloomer" all over this post. If I'm guessing right, I'd be willing to bet that leaving the nest and going to college will be a great growth experience for him. I'd predict that he will do well (socially as well as academically) in college. I knew plenty of people who were extremely introverted in high school, but who began to feel more comfortable in their own skin in college. For these students, a new, fresh start is a great thing.

I think other people have given you excellent advice when they've said, "Go visit!" As a junior, it's time for him to start forming opinions on what he wants to do /where he wants to go. At each visit, take pictures, and make notes immediately afterward. Have him list specifics that matter to him; this is the biggest decision he's made yet in his life, and you need to help him weigh the important factors.

I'll throw out a couple thoughts to get you started:

Does he see himself at a big school or a small school? Choosing a school of the right size is immensely important. I always knew I wanted to go to a big school: larger size = more opportunities, more choices. Also, I started college uncertain about what I wanted to study, and I knew that at a big school I could change majors without changing schools. I know that my oldest will take this path too, but my youngest -- I already know -- would thrive and find success in a smaller setting.

Would he be most comfortable in a school that's in the middle of a big city, or a rural college? If I'm guessing right about the "late bloomer" thing, I'd encourage him towards a school that's a bit remote. In an urban setting, students are pulled in many directions: jobs, off-campus friends, other activities. On the other hand, in a school that's a bit removed from everything, students are somewhat "forced" to stay on campus, and it's a good opportunity for students to become more social.

How far away from home would be healthy for him? And you? I hope that my daughters will choose to go 2-4 hours away from home -- far enough away that they'll be forced to become independent. They won't be able to run home mid-week to wash clothes, etc. But close enough that if they were sick or something was really wrong, I could be there by the afternoon.

What's realistic for your budget? What scholarships is he likely to earn? It's time to begin researching scholarships too. On the subject of money, talk about what you expect him to contribute. Do you expect him to work during the summers? During the school year? To pay for his books? To pay a portion of his tuition/fees? To take on loans? Talk to him about these things now.

What are his must-haves? For example, does he want to attend a school with a warm /cold climate? How important is it that he attends a school with a great football team? (Don't laugh -- a big-name football team is high on my daughter's list.) Does he want a school that offers Greek life? Perhaps ROTC? Or maybe he wants the opportunity to study abroad. Talk about specifics, then use those choices to determine which schools deserve your visits.

Does your school system offer a college fair? Attend! Pick up brochures from everywhere you think might remotely be interesting to him. Then use the internet to find out whether there's a incoming freshman weekend (or event) that he could attend. Attend a football or basketball game at a couple of his top choices. Go to a play or a cultural event at other schools. Eat in the cafeteria. Let him get a good idea of what college is like.

And good luck! I'm a year behind you in this process, and we're already thinking about how we're going to guide our first daughter through this process.

 

[golfgal]

No kidding, Mrs. Pete--we have some good friends that have a son that is a sophomore. He was very quite and shy in high school and they worried about him in college. Well, the first weekend at school they saw him on TV with a big "U" painted on his chest cheering on the Boilermakers at Purdue . They stopped worrying soon after that.

 

[Longsx3]

I would start by trying to get a general idea for what he wants to do, you don't want to spend money on college apps that don't offer his major.
Next I would focus on budget , decide what you plan to spend before any assistance...you can apply to a few top choice schools especially if they are private because they do typically offer more aid money. I have seen many a student plan on going to "X" school, even getting accepted but the funds don't end up being there. Finally you typically have high reach schools, ie MIT. Mid range schools and then safe schools.

Once you have a handful of schools you can narrow his choices by visiting each campus.

Finally I know you made a comment about MIT being to far, I hope that was a joke. As I have told my daughter she owns her grades, doing well keeps Mom and Dad off her back but ultimately they are her grades and they get her into College not me. If she earns her way into a College on the other side of the world and the money is there to pay for it, the choice is hers!

By the way I know quite a few AF officers that attended MIT on an ROTC scholarship!

 

[klacey1]

As someone who went through this, I have to say, the best thing you can do is VISIT SCHOOLS!! Visit schools in all different areas, different sizes, tiny liberal arts colleges, large universities. After 5-6 or even less, he'll start to realize at least the basics of what he wants: size and location. Then, that narrows it down a bit and he can apply to schools that fit those categories!
As far as getting into his dream schools, the top things that help are 1) grades/SAT/ACT scores (obviously!) 2) ethnicity (completely true) and 3) uniqueness. Your son needs to make himself stand out with things that are quirky or unusual. One of my best friends in high school got into basically every college she applied to (Dartmouth, Colombia, Georgetown, NYU) because she did things that were off-beat. She had her own website where she reviewed computer games. She designed a website for our town. She travelled every summer to Europe. She independently studied 5 different languages. She had good grades, good standardized test scores. She wasn't the BEST in our year, (leave that to two of my other best friends-- valedictorian and saluditorian, who went to Harvard and Brown!) but she got into great schools because she was different and things on her application stood out.

 

[disfan07]

I went through this 3 years ago.
We visited a few schools and that was about it. I knew that i wanted to major in psychology so my focus was finding a school with a good psychology program for undergrads not just grads.

Don't dismiss community college especially if your son really is not ready to leave.
I actually ended up at community college because of health reasons and i could not go away from home (unfortunately the one school near my house i did not apply to...go figure). I am in my second year and I am actually applying to schools right now. I don't see anythign wrong with living at home for a year or two if that is what they want. If he is really not ready to be on his own, it's better not to push him. I know a lot of people who have gone away to school and are back home after a semester because they are so miserable. After a semester or even a year home, they go back to school and are much happier. A year can make a big difference in whether or not they are ready. Not everyone is ready to leave home right out of high school and it's not a requirement.
All of my community college credits are transferring to all 11 colleges i'm applying to...i am transferring with 71 credits (junior is 60-90 credits) so if he ends up going that route than don't worry about the credits not transferring.

I say that you should talk with him. See what he is most comfortable doing. If you guys don't think he is ready to leave for school, don't push it. let him stay home for a year. It's amazing how many people who are not ready to leave right out of high school are suddenly ready a year later. If he is comfortable going away to school than i say hey, let him go wherever he wants to go. The worst that can happen is that if he really has adjustment issues adn is not doing well, he can come home. It's not the end of the world.

 

[shortbun]

My son is in 8th grade and we're beginning to haunt some colleges nearby. He wants to see a few in other states and we'll schedule those first visits next summer. Have you done any visits? What about finances? Are you clear on how all that works? Loans, financial aid, deadlines...all this is complicated and you should get it straight THIS year. He should start thinking about his essay that will accompany most applications. This is really important as I've known kids to both get rejected because of their essay and get accepted conditionally on the strength of their essay. It's biographical. As far as Jr/Community College and staying at home; I'd table that discussion until I looked at a few schools that might be a good fit for him. If money, grades, immaturity are problems that can not be overcome with aid, hard work and time(there's still almost 2 years before he spends his first night in a dorm) then perhaps a local community college would be a better fit.

 

[Rose&Mike]

You might want to look at schools with honors colleges. They are programs within colleges. A lot of state schools and some private schools now have special programs for their top students. Some are two years that allow you to take your required classes with as honors (special topics, often more seminar like). Some programs are 4 year programs with lots of extra opportunities.

Two benefits that we have found: exposure and housing.

DS is a freshman in an honors college at a large southern university. As a freshman with a lot of AP and IB credit (he has sophomore status already), he was able to take classes other than typical 101 classes and is already considering changing the focus of his major. He has an honors advisor and a regular advisor. Next semester he's taking poli sci 101, but because its an honors class it's going to have a special emphasis. I'm probably not explaining this very well. Anyhow, almost all of the honors classes are very small with lots of individual attention.

The other big benefit is housing. At a lot of schools, honors kids live in their own dorm. It's been great for DS because he's made a ton of friends, and most of them are pretty serious about studying. They definitely know how to have fun. But no one thinks its weird when you have to stay home and do work. He's in a brand new dorm and it's wonderful. The kids seems to be very excepting (sp?) of each other. There are definitely some unique personalities and interests in the dorm. But lots of regular kids who just like school as well. I do not think DS would have been happy as a freshman in a regular dorm.

As for going away--DS is 500 miles away. It was the best thing for all of us. He is much more independent and very proud of himself. We have always told him he has to go away to school. I know every kid is different, so you have to look at what's best for your family. It's a hard adjustment, but the independance they gain in a short amount of time is amazing.

Good luck!
Rose

 

[Shmily1]

I have a college sophomore (at a University-he lives there during the school year) and a college freshman (at a 4-year college-she lives at home and drives back and to only because she had a baby this year) this year so hopefully, I have some insight for you.

First, DS19 didn't drive until he was almost 17. I had even given him my red Mustang! Your DS has to have a reason to drive, and right now, he doesn't have that. That's fine as it looks like more reasons are coming for him soon (ie. the girl he's texting).

Secondly, not knowing what he wants to do is not a bad thing. Right now, the whole world is open to him. If he starts a major and decides it's not for him, it's easy to change to something different. Please encourage him to go for a career that he will love. If it's not something you love, it is boring and you won't stick with it. DS19 went the first semester for computer engineering. He hated it!! He's now majoring in business and loves it. DD18 is going for early childhood education. She's still in the early stages but she loves children so this will be a great fit for her. When he gets to orientation, most colleges have a program/ test he can do to see what his interests are. It's pretty neat!!

Thirdly, just because your DS doesn't like to be out and about right now, that doesn't mean that things won't change soon. He's a teenager and stuff seems to happen to them overnight! That's not bad, but it's going to be his turn to try to fly on his own soon. That's a good thing! Guys are just naturally late bloomers so it's fine that he's late with the going out thing. DS19 was like that. Now, we try to call him by 5 PM so we don't disturb is afternoons!

Here is my list of things to do to get ready--now.

• Take the SAT--you need to have this done in your Junior year to be able to apply for the early admissions and the early scholarships which are usually the best. As smart as your DS is, it will be easy to him so encourage him to relax about it and don't stress!!
• Check out college and university websites that you think he may be interested in. A college with dorms would be great. DS19 didn't want to get far from home so he's about 75 minutes from here but lives there. He loves it!!! (so much so that he asked if he could go for 5 years instead of 4!!)
• While on the websites, check out the visitor information. Most colleges have "open houses" (I did this with DS) or you can go on day visits (I did this with DD to the same university). They are about the same but the open house has more people. While there, pick up all the brochures you can get!! They will be useful and you will have dog-eared pages on them by the time you get him all "delivered" to college.

Things to do in the summer/ early fall.

• Register for college(s) early. DS19 applied only to the college he was really interested in and DD18 applied to two because she was undecided.
• Apply early for all scholarships that the college has available.
• During his senior year, file your taxes as soon as possible then go to the FAFSA website and file for grants as soon as possible. I usually do these two things the same day, except with two college students, I get to do the FAFSA twice!!

Lastly, enjoy these few years. He will be grown soon so take in every moment and make memories for you both!!!

 

[geffric]

I haven't read all the advice but i'll chime in way..

As a Mom of a junior, we have visited many colleges already - we are in the midwest and gone to University of Florida, Indiana University, Perdue, Iowa, Ohio state and Miami of Ohio, we have gone to college night and will go to University of Illinois next week..He is signed up for the ACT in December, he takes it again in April with the class so he has time to improve in the areas he needs help in..His high school has ACT review classes offered and he is signed up for them starting next semester..

He wants a BIG school.. hence his choice of the schools he has visited..

His older brother wants a small select school without a football program or grewek life.. We visited Bradley, Knox, Beloit, Earlham Cornell College..he was accepted at all he applied and had scholarships from them too. He is at Cornell College and very happy and fits in.

 

[MrsPete]

If your child is not terribly outgoing and more comfortable with a few years at home the community college option is a great one.

I disagree. If he's overly introverted right now, keeping him in the same environment (still living at home, commuting to community college rather than high school) is just giving him more of the same.

For this situation, I'd suggest that going away to school, living in a dorm (it's super-easy to meet people in a dorm), and immersing himself in a new environment will give him the push to step out of his comfort zone and learn to be a bit more outgoing.

 

[geffric]

I disagree. If he's overly introverted right now, keeping him in the same environment (still living at home, commuting to community college rather than high school) is just giving him more of the same.

For this situation, I'd suggest that going away to school, living in a dorm (it's super-easy to meet people in a dorm), and immersing himself in a new environment will give him the push to step out of his comfort zone and learn to be a bit more outgoing.

I agree.. dorm life will help him .. plus he will meet others like him and find out he isn't so different..

 

[MrsPete]

That all good students get lots of scholarships is totally BS UNLESS they go to specific schools.

That's true. The stuff about "so many scholarships go unawarded" and "there are even scholarships for left-handed people" are BS as well.

To earn a really good scholarship, the student must have top-top grades AND a well-rounded extra-curricular resume. Also, some fields offer great scholarships: Teachers and nurses who don't get scholarships simply aren't trying. Engineering students can get great internships in their last two years of school. On the other hand, no one gives out much in the way of scholarships for the arts and business. Children of military can get some good scholarships, and they deserve them for their family's sacrafices.

The nitch scholarships -- that is, the left-handed scholarships, the asthma-athlete scholarships, etc. -- those are rather misleading. Those tend to be small scholarships awarded by very expensive schools. They're not the kind of thing that'd convince a student to attend ____ College; rather, they're a nice little add-on for the student who's already chosen ____ College and realizes that he can get a little bit of money. For example, my daughters are scouts. GSUSA loves to tout the fact that there are scholarships available for girls who've earned the Gold Award, the highest award in GSing. My girls'll never get those. Why? Because the scholarships are worth about $2500, and all the schools who offer them are expensive private schools in other states. They're not options for the vast majority of us -- even if our kids DO qualify for them.

The thing about "private schools offer so much aid that they're less expensive than state schools" works out to be true just often enough to keep this stereotype going. A kid in your son's shoes, however -- top 5% yet probably more comfortable in a small school -- may just be that unique person for whom these schools are looking. It's worth investigating, but don't assume it'll come together for him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree.. dorm life will help him .. plus he will meet others like him and find out he isn't so different..

I am concurring. My dd who had more friends than her cousin is having a harder time than he is.

He really just BLOOMED! It was so awesome to see him so happy.

He did choose a smaller, close knit University though and I think that made a difference for him. It is in a small town with NOTHING to do so the guys hang out and play video games.

When we visited, somebody in a room was having a tournament and you could hear it. My nephew said that he rigged the sound system.
They are all in heaven.

My dd on the other hand went to a huge university with too much going on and is having a harder time navigating herself. However she wanted a big university and says she would be worse at a smaller college. We will see.....

 

[MrsPete]

The other big benefit is housing. At a lot of schools, honors kids live in their own dorm. It's been great for DS because he's made a ton of friends, and most of them are pretty serious about studying. They definitely know how to have fun. But no one thinks its weird when you have to stay home and do work.

Dorms have all sorts of nitches these days: My two-years-ago student teacher lived a floor beneath the International House (where exchange students lived), and she says it was a wonderful experience for her. She made friends from other countries, and she's been able to visit those friends for extended periods of time, her travels costing little more than a plane ticket.

Wellness Houses are fairly common; that is, dorms where smoking is banned and drinking is heavily curtailed. A friend of mine's son lives in one right now, and he's loving it.

I personally lived in on an Honors House (it was two floors of a regular dorm) when I was a freshman. It was a horrible, horrible experience.

My high school friend and I thought it'd be a great place to live: everyone would be more serious about their studies, extra quiet hours during the week -- what's not to love? We fell into a bad situation: 90% of the people in that House were Juniors and Seniors, and they'd all lived in that dorm for their entire college experience. They all dated each other, all went to dinner as a group every night in the cafeteria, all went out together on the weekends. They were VERY serious about their studies Sunday night - Thursday night, but every weekend was a party, and we weren't invited. When B & I moved in, we did all the things you're supposed to do: We tried to talk to people on our hall, left our door open as an invitation to drop in . . . the older residents apparently missed the people who'd lived in our room the year before. We had the room right across from the bathroom, and if our door was open, they'd talk loudly about us so we could hear -- saying things like, "Why don't they just move out? No one likes them. Wouldn't it be great if so-and-so moved into their places?". If we asked to come along to dinner, they told us they didn't want us -- of course, we learned pretty quickly that we didn't want to be with them anyway. If we sat out in the commons area to study, groups would actually come along and say, "Get out -- we need this room to review for a Physics test." I cannot imagine WHY any person of good character would treat new freshmen so.

If I were in that situation now, being older and better able to handle bullies (because that's what they were), I could give it right back to them and put them in their place. At 18 years old, I didn't yet have those life skills. So my roommate and I ran (thank goodness we had each other). At Christmas time we moved to a regular floor in the dorm next door, and we never dealt with those ******** again.

We two, however, did become the welcome wagon for the new freshmen every year after that. We went out of our way to welcome them. We invited them to go to the cafeteria with us, to make sure they knew where their classes were, to study with us in the evenings, to go out on the weekends. We never wanted to be like those others.

Keep in mind that your son doesn't have to stay where he starts. If he's interested in the honors dorm, make sure he knows that there are other options too. Chances of him having a bad experience like I did are slim, BUT if he's not happy with his first dorm, be sure he understands that it's fine for him to pick up and move somewhere else after the 14-week semester is over.

 

[MrsPete]

He really just BLOOMED! It was so awesome to see him so happy.

He did choose a smaller, close knit University though and I think that made a difference for him. It is in a small town with NOTHING to do so the guys hang out and play video games.

When we visited, somebody in a room was having a tournament and you could hear it. My nephew said that he rigged the sound system.
They are all in heaven..

Yep, that's the situation I hope to find for my shy youngest daughter. She, too, would blossom under those circumtances. She would likely be lost in a big school in a big city, the kind of place in which people come and go all the time. I'd like to see her in a small school, perhaps in the mountains where the bright lights are rather distant and can only be visited on the weekends. The kind of place where the kids stay in their dorms every evening rather than heading out to nightclubs. I think she'd do well socially under those circumstances, and my kid -- maybe everyone else's kid too -- does well academically when she's happy socially.

 

[dis-happy]

That's true. The stuff about "so many scholarships go unawarded" and "there are even scholarships for left-handed people" are BS as well.

To earn a really good scholarship, the student must have top-top grades AND a well-rounded extra-curricular resume. Also, some fields offer great scholarships: Teachers and nurses who don't get scholarships simply aren't trying. Engineering students can get great internships in their last two years of school. On the other hand, no one gives out much in the way of scholarships for the arts and business. Children of military can get some good scholarships, and they deserve them for their family's sacrafices.

The nitch scholarships -- that is, the left-handed scholarships, the asthma-athlete scholarships, etc. -- those are rather misleading. Those tend to be small scholarships awarded by very expensive schools. They're not the kind of thing that'd convince a student to attend ____ College; rather, they're a nice little add-on for the student who's already chosen ____ College and realizes that he can get a little bit of money. For example, my daughters are scouts. GSUSA loves to tout the fact that there are scholarships available for girls who've earned the Gold Award, the highest award in GSing. My girls'll never get those. Why? Because the scholarships are worth about $2500, and all the schools who offer them are expensive private schools in other states. They're not options for the vast majority of us -- even if our kids DO qualify for them.

The thing about "private schools offer so much aid that they're less expensive than state schools" works out to be true just often enough to keep this stereotype going. A kid in your son's shoes, however -- top 5% yet probably more comfortable in a small school -- may just be that unique person for whom these schools are looking. It's worth investigating, but don't assume it'll come together for him.

Our experience was a bit different, so don't discount the scholarship offers to private schools!! We homeschooled (so no AP classes on the transcript), my dd had decent but not outstanding SAT scores (due to math which she never tests well in...combined English and math were in the low 1200 range) and we rec'd several offers of full scholarships to out-of-state private schools, just to get her to attend there (one private all girls school sent us about 20 letters including one personally signed from a local state rep, LOL). Maybe we hit some demographic that I'm unware of, but still the offers were there.

Another homeschool friend was offered a full ride to Baylor (he turned it down to go to Wheaton), and another friend's dd turned down Harvard (would have been no cost) to attend Chapel Hill. Our state also provides state money to attend in-state private schools based on SAT scores which would have lowered to half the usual private university tuition up front (before any other offers of FAFSA money were brought into the equation). Alas, in the end she chose a private school out of state which we actually pay for, and are happy to do so, but other scholarship options did abound.