Help: autistic tantrum

[Princess Disney Mom]

Does anyone have suggestions how to handle a tantrum with a 17 year old autistic child. I have meds but they take time to work and sometimes the tantrum is back when they wear off. She will hit or kick me. If I move out of hitting range she will throw things at me. I have called the police for help but don't always want to call them.

Any ideas?

 

[clm10308]

I would be very careful about calling the police for something like this. Many officers have very little training in dealing with people with mental illnesses. The best they can do is have her committed on a psyc hold. The worst could be very bad. In many states 17 is considered a adult in the criminal justice system and she could end up in jail.
If you are in enough fear for your own safety to call the police, I would suggest that you talk with her doctor.

I know that autism is not exactly the same as what we think of as mental illness, but the police would treat her the same way as they would a person with a mental illness.

 

[dntd]

Try and see if your local area has a crisis service. For my son if he ever is over my head then I can call them, they( a team of specialists) will come try to calm him down or take him to the hospital for additional help.Now that she is older you can check out adult crisis programs, there should be one to help you.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Try and see if your local area has a crisis service. For my son if he ever is over my head then I can call them, they( a team of specialists) will come try to calm him down or take him to the hospital for additional help.Now that she is older you can check out adult crisis programs, there should be one to help you.

I called the crisis center first and they acted like I was crazy for calling them and not the police. They told me to call the police. Now I don't know what to do.

 

[Mrsjvb]

My Brother and Sister in law are at that point.. their second oldest in Non verbal and Football player sized. he has put his mother in the hospital more than once.. before he was 12.

now he is also 16 or 17. he will be institutionalized within the next year. he has come very close to seriously injuring his younger sisters more than once.

I agree cops can do nothing.. they are not trained to handle this.. crazy drug addicts, yeah.. not this. their response would be tazering.. or worse.. if they cannot control/subdue her in other ways.

 

[Heluvsme]

Do you have a bag of tricks?? For instance, when it's first starting to flare up, does she have something she loves.... maybe a favorite food, or a favorite movie? I think the best tactic is to stop it before it escalates, if that's possible, and I know it isn't always possible. If medication helps, but it takes time, and resumes when the medicine wears off, then I'd fall back on keeping on hand her favorite things. Movies, food, a blanket, a warm bath, music, whatever it is. I know there aren't any easy answers, but really if she can learn what comforts her, then maybe at some point in the future when she starts to feel the rage, or that feeling of being out of control, then she might be able to self-soothe and pre-empt any outburst herself. It takes time, and conditioning, but for the long haul.... self-soothing will be the most beneficial to her.

 

[Heluvsme]

I did think of a couple more things... and they might help if she doesn't have any sensory issues regarding them.

When an episode first starts, if she can tolerate noise cancelling headphones, and/or a zip up hoodie with the hood pulled up, that can give her a safe feeling.

Also, dimmer switches on the lights can sometimes help... it can help set a mood subconsciously. Lowered lights calm us all.

Soft music, really soft, in the background, can also have a calming effect, without her even knowing it.

Anyways, again, I know these seem easy, and there really are no easy answers, but maybe if they're introduced to her now, as she gets into her adulthood they can play a role in how she controls her own emotions and outbursts.

~Dawn

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Do you have a bag of tricks?? For instance, when it's first starting to flare up, does she have something she loves.... maybe a favorite food, or a favorite movie? I think the best tactic is to stop it before it escalates, if that's possible, and I know it isn't always possible. If medication helps, but it takes time, and resumes when the medicine wears off, then I'd fall back on keeping on hand her favorite things. Movies, food, a blanket, a warm bath, music, whatever it is. I know there aren't any easy answers, but really if she can learn what comforts her, then maybe at some point in the future when she starts to feel the rage, or that feeling of being out of control, then she might be able to self-soothe and pre-empt any outburst herself. It takes time, and conditioning, but for the long haul.... self-soothing will be the most beneficial to her.

I agree with this. The best thing you can do is try to prevent the meltdowns, or stop them before they escalate. Music and water (baths or showers) are good calming options for my DD once she starts to escalate. To prevent the mood in the first place, I make sure she eats and drinks often. Hunger and thirst can trigger a mood. Enforce a regular bedtime so she is well-rested. Practice calming techniques when she is in a stable mood to prepare for times when she isn't so stable. We also use noise-cancelling headphones.

 

[nyrebecca]

I don't have any answers, but just wanted to show support and let you know I will be praying some help/ideas come your way.

 

[Reddy]

are you looking into putting into a home?? I know it is hard & waiting list are very long
my boys will be going after our next Disney vacation
so I have something to look forward too & dread at the same time
but I know they will be better off in the long run

really you don't want to wait too much longer or she could put you in the hospital & she could end up in jail

 

[Ella de Vil]

As I do not know you and your daughter personally, I don't have as much advice to give as I wish I did other than to echo what Heluvsme and Maggie'sMom already said. Tantrums don't come out of nowhere. There is always a tipping point.

I do want to add that I've been a tantruming autistic teenager and I am now a middle-aged mother of eight, despite people saying that I should be put away. Don't give up.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Thanks everyone. I will keep working on the calming techniques. The tantrum begins when something changes like when her laptop was not usable.
I did have a long talk with the police and they are being very helpful. I have the cell number o the officer that knows us and she said she will explain to the responding officer of the situation. She said not to hessitate to call them.

I have an apt with her doctor saturday so hopefully she can adjust the meds.

 

[of2dbeach]

It could be her meds could be the whole puberty thing. My son is 18 and when he 16-17 was super bad with the hitting, tantrums etc. we increased his meds and he is stable again TG. He is on medwaiver as a crisis and he has a Behavior therapist who is teaching us how to deal with things that he does. We try to stop them before they start. sometimes they are over nothing. the computer is a huge issue so is if his vcr or his videos dont work.making sure he isnt hunry feeding him something like an apple with peanut butter helps . it takes him a while to eat it plus its healthy. He also likes bubble baths and his DD9 lets him play with her swimming barbie in the tub. he also likes to crunch up Epsom Salts in the tub ( go figure ) .i have locked myself in the room many many times because he has tried to come after me. you are doing the right thing by staying away from her. try to teach her that throwing things is unacceptable. see if her teacher can write Social Stories for her. thats has helped Mike out ALOT. I wouldnt call the police unless she is really a danger to herself. otherwise DCF gets called and its a pain in the butt.I have had to call the police but Mike used to Elope. now that has thankfully stopped. My son takes Risperdal for behaviors and also Valium 30 mins before we go into a stressful situation, such as teaching him to use the elevators in the mall, which his therapist goes with us. hope this helps!