Heartbroken again, need relationship advice (long)....

[Pkaroch]

Speaking from my own past experience, this sort of thing always hurts and always leaves you wondering why. And for a while all you want is that person to call up and say they want you back. My advice is usually to institue a no-recycle policy...there's a reason it ended in the first place, don't invite all that heartbreak back in. Saying she isn't ready or doesn't want a bf now is indeed BS, you don't just wake up one morning and think to yourself 'I'm ready to have a boyfriend and a serious relationship today', it just happens. She didn't appreciate you and all you could give her, and she probably isn't the type of girl you want if she's fooling around with an older man who isn't divorced yet, she has a lot of growing to do. Not growing up necessarily, just growing.

You'll find that perfect person for you out there when you least expect it, don't give up hope! And she will fully appreciate a Disney vacation!

 

[ggarriso]

<quote>And she will fully appreciate a Disney vacation!</quote>



AHH a dream come true

 

[Disneymomma]

Forget her! Don't waste your time-if she wanted to be with you, she would be. She is stringing you along and hoping that you will still be there when she needs a soft spot to fall back on. You have alot to offer someone who will truly appreciate it-get out there and find her!

 

[Microcell]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
You sound like a terrific guy. Where do you live?? I have TONS of nice, single girlfriends who will appeciate a great guy like you!



My advice to you, and it will be very difficult, because you like her, is to say "You know I care about you, but I care about me more, and I am not up for letting you use me. Go do your thing, live your life, whatever. I don't play second fiddle." Then mean it, walk away, don't contact her. If she contacts you, play very hard to get. Treat her like she's treated you...with indifference.

It may work...she may see what a catch you are, and come crawling back. It may not work...she may continue to be an idiot and let you slip through her fingers.

I ageree with just about everything Disney Doll said, and that personal story, what a psycho! When I broke up with an alcoholic who would never get married (thank god!) he told me he might be around when I came to my senses- I hope ten years later he is not waiting!

I digressed, sorry. Even if she does see what a catch you are, I think she has demonstrated herself not to be worthy of you at all. I would not take her back if she came crawling on her hands and knees! I have had boys that I was not interested in keep hounding me to date them, which was a little bit different than your case, but really the reaction is the same. No respect at all.

I have seen others post that you should basically be aloof, and though I agree that you shouldn't take it fast, or appear too eager, you will be more likely to find a nice girl who likes you by being yourself, not playing games. This girl will regret not keeping you, but it does not matter, she does not deserve you.

Have fun and take things as they go. It is also a good idea to see where the next girl sits on values based things, like politics, religion, moral issues. If your gut says we don't agree on fundimental things, you might as well move on. I would over time see how she feels about cheating, shoplifiting, lying just in normal conversation. Keep your ears open and listen when red flags appear.

For instance, My DH is 10 years older than me, but what attracted me to him is that when I was 16 and he was 26 he would not even consider going out with me. Now when I was 23 and an adult his opinion changed. I still think if he had pursued me at 16 I could not have respected him. It seems small but I could not have felt about him then the way I do now. He proved to me that he is a good man by demonstrating his morality.

 

[Pkaroch]

Gee, well if THAT'S a dream come true, I'm in Raleigh....swing by and pick me up on your way to WDW!

 

[Saffron]

Awww. No doubt about it, when you really want a relationship to work and the other person doesn't want the same thing, it hurts. Sadly I have to agree with everyone, it's time to move on. There's not a single solitairey thing you can do or can't do that will change the way she's feeling.

When the love of my life came into my life I wasn't looking, AT ALL. I didn't expect it, I had other plans for me. But when things developed, I never would have dreamed of saying, "Sorry, I'm not ready right now, I have other things to do, come back at a later date and we'll see if you're what I want.", you know what I mean?

I think she's trying to let you down as easy as she can. Take the memories, move forward and find someone that wants to make some great memories WITH you! Fantastic Disney memories too!

And no joke! There are lots of women on this board who love Disney who you just might hit it off with! Well, there are probably lots of women right in your area too! LOL! But there are threads for singles right here on the CB. If I were you I would go stop in on one of them and see what others are up to, if they've been through this sort of thing recently, etc. Hey! Ya just never know!

Good luck to you. I know it's painful and hurtful right now, but soon you'll see how much someone who wants what you have to offer is a much better thing for you!

 

[Micca]

I didn't see too many guys respond here, but I wanted to let you know that even though it's painful, you have a lot of good advice here.

Paraphrasing Bruce Springsteen: "someday you'll look back on this and it will all seem funny".

When you get to feeling a little better, it sounds like you have some interest from some other singles here on the Dis

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're heartbroken. It's a tough situation but there IS someone better for you out there. You've gotten great advice from the other posters. Believe them. As hard as it is to hear, she's moved on and she's not what you need now anyway.

Good luck. Get into something you enjoy and keep yourself busy. The best things come along when you aren't looking for them.

Take care.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You know what? You are going to be hurt, confused and heartbroken. That is normal. My advice would be to walk away now. Give her up cold turkey. Your head will clear up.
Go out with friends and have some fun!