He Thinks We Are "Swingers"!!

[DisneyPhD]

Ok, I have to say...this would piss me off. They work together and this is pretty inappropriate for them to be talking about. It is one thing to have general conversations about issues, but when you start talking about your personal sexual appetites and interests like that, you are crossing a line.

I am not comfortable with a woman who opens up intimate dialog, regarding their/our sex lives, with my DH and asks him to not tell me. She extended a back-door sexual invitation to your DH (ie, "my husband wondered", pahlease), IMO, and that is not cool.

Btw, if she told her husband 'no way', she would have never mentioned it to your husband. They would have had their private conversation about it and that would be the end of it, because mentioning it to your DH only would cause uncomfortable feelings when you were all together. She was feeling your DH out to see his reaction.

Never trust a woman who inquires about swinging with your husband and asks him to keep it from you.

JMho...flame me if you want...

(eta, not saying your DH is in the wrong in any way...he was honest with you )

No flames for me. Remember I like keeping you on my side!

Edited to add, I am not hitting on you. Just wanted to be clear on that.

 

[MAKmom]

Your not going on a trip with them right? You just gave discount info to them right? There is no way in the world I would go to dinner with them. In life do not ingnore the BIG RED FLAGS DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

 

[mom2boys]

You're related to...them?

You know them? HOW do you know them?
We're only 1 county north of you.

 

[poohandwendy]

No flames for me. Remember I like keeping you on my side!

Edited to add, I am not hitting on you. Just wanted to be clear on that.

LOL, you crack me up.... in a totally non-sexual innuendo kind of way

 

[cstraub]

 

[cstraub]

Ok, I have to say...this would piss me off. They work together and this is pretty inappropriate for them to be talking about. It is one thing to have general conversations about issues, but when you start talking about your personal sexual appetites and interests like that, you are crossing a line.

I am not comfortable with a woman who opens up intimate dialog, regarding their/our sex lives, with my DH and asks him to not tell me. She extended a back-door sexual invitation to your DH (ie, "my husband wondered", pahlease), IMO, and that is not cool.

Btw, if she told her husband 'no way', she would have never mentioned it to your husband. They would have had their private conversation about it and that would be the end of it, because mentioning it to your DH only would cause uncomfortable feelings when you were all together. She was feeling your DH out to see his reaction.

Never trust a woman who inquires about swinging with your husband and asks him to keep it from you.

JMho...flame me if you want...

(eta, not saying your DH is in the wrong in any way...he was honest with you )

I could not agree more!!!

 

[#1Mouse]

I have a different take on this situation. My understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) is the OP and her dh are going to Vegas, this couple is going to Vegas (using some of the OP's comps) and the OP mentions other couples are going on their own comps. Is it possible that the lady's dh thought maybe the whole group were swingers? If this couple were swingers do you think the lady would pose the question of "My husband wants to know if you are swingers?" If she was a swinger herself I can't imagine that she wouldn't just ask for herself. Maybe, just maybe the couple are not swingers and were checking before they got themselves into a situation they didn't want to be in.

 

[Stacerita]

I have a different take on this situation. My understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) is the OP and her dh are going to Vegas, this couple is going to Vegas (using some of the OP's comps) and the OP mentions other couples are going on their own comps. Is it possible that the lady's dh thought maybe the whole group were swingers? If this couple were swingers do you think the lady would pose the question of "My husband wants to know if you are swingers?" If she was a swinger herself I can't imagine that she wouldn't just ask for herself. Maybe, just maybe the couple are not swingers and were checking before they got themselves into a situation they didn't want to be in.

Whenever I get invited to go somewhere with a group of people, Vegas included, it never occurs to me to check to make sure they aren't Swingers. I check to see if they are dancers though, since I am a dancer. (not a pole one though). But I wouldn't check to see if they are swingers. Unless I was one and wanted to see if someone else was also. Just "checking" something so random like that wouldn't cross my mind.

 

[poohandwendy]

I have a different take on this situation. My understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) is the OP and her dh are going to Vegas, this couple is going to Vegas (using some of the OP's comps) and the OP mentions other couples are going on their own comps. Is it possible that the lady's dh thought maybe the whole group were swingers? If this couple were swingers do you think the lady would pose the question of "My husband wants to know if you are swingers?" If she was a swinger herself I can't imagine that she wouldn't just ask for herself. Maybe, just maybe the couple are not swingers and were checking before they got themselves into a situation they didn't want to be in.

I didn't get the impression that this was a group trip where all of these people would be going at the same time. I think if that were the case, the OP would have said she was dreading the entire trip...not just dinner tommorow night.

It's my opinion that people do not bring up the subject of 'swinging' unless they are open to the idea and extending an invitation. It's just not something people 'wonder' about other people unless some heavy hint has been made, and I doubt that is the case with the Op or her DH.

 

[Mi3stooges]

Up early cause DH called in for over time and thought I'd check in. Lots of great points by all.
I DO wonder why this womans husband would think such a thing:
1) They are and want to recruit
2)We're being "so" nice he "wonders"
She told DH because they were talking about our dinner plans, but you're right, why mention it??
1)She wanted to get a response
2)I think she has a funny sense of humor....knowing that it is so far fetched, but had to tell my DH.
But if I were just meeting a new couple, regardless of future relationships(meaning friends) I would not tell them something like that we thought of them.
Could she really be that ditzy or humorus to say something so crazy?!
Thank you guys for suggestions, it has helped.

 

[Planogirl]

Maybe they've been in a situation like this before and have been approached themselves so now they're overly cautious? Plus I suspect that talking about sexual matters is no big deal to swingers if that's what they happen to be.

I wouldn't get all bent out of shape about this but do let us know if it's in any way brought up at your meal out.

 

[poohandwendy]

I wouldn't get all bent out of shape about this but do let us know if it's in any way brought up at your meal out.

I wouldn't either, but I would keep my antenna up...it should be an interesting meal...does she know your DH told you about it?

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

but do let us know if it's in any way brought up at your meal out.

Yes, do! I for one am very curious in the very nosiest of ways!!!!

 

[siouxi31]

I'd like to offer a bit of advice. If you do get together with them, please watch your drink. We know some swingers very well and one time the husband told my husband how they slipped ecstasy (sp?) into the drink of one of the couples. The couple didn't know about it. The evening ended up being something out of a movie. I couldn't believe they did that and I'll have nothing to do with them anymore. If I ever was with them at a party, my drink would come from a bottle or a can, I'd open it and it would stay in my hand the entire time. I don't trust them at all. That doesn't mean all swingers are like this, it's just that some people are devious, swingers or not, and they think things like this are funny.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You know them? HOW do you know them?
We're only 1 county north of you.

I didn't tell you...


EWWWWWWWWWW I need to go shower!!!!! For the record, I am not, never have been, never will be a swinger. Except for the kind from a swing set! That I enjoy. But I've never done that with anyone else. Hmmm, that didn't sound right, either.

I'm I'm with PhD and keeping Wendy on my good side--remember, we like her, but we're scared to death of her. Which thread was that, anyway and PhD, did she ever see our comments in that thread or were they lost on her?

 

[poohandwendy]

I'm I'm with PhD and keeping Wendy on my good side--remember, we like her, but we're scared to death of her. Which thread was that, anyway and PhD, did she ever see our comments in that thread or were they lost on her?

Ok, now I am curious....what did I say or do to strike the fear in y'all....I may need to remember the technique down the road...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Ok, now I am curious....what did I say or do to strike the fear in y'all....I may need to remember the technique down the road...

I don't even remember which thread. It was a week or 2 ago, I would guess. Maybe PhD, who no doubt has a better memory can say. Or I'll look it up later. We just have such respect and awe for you.

 

[#1Mouse]

I didn't get the impression that this was a group trip where all of these people would be going at the same time. I think if that were the case, the OP would have said she was dreading the entire trip...not just dinner tommorow night.

It's my opinion that people do not bring up the subject of 'swinging' unless they are open to the idea and extending an invitation. It's just not something people 'wonder' about other people unless some heavy hint has been made, and I doubt that is the case with the Op or her DH.

The OP mentioned in her original post that

There are other couples going on their own comps, etc.

. It just sounded to me as if the op and dh were going also and offering comps so this other couple could go along too. So Mi3stooges, are you and your dh going on this trip also?

If they are going, along with the other couples going, it might be possible that the guys radar might have been going off when his dw comes home and tells him about these great comps that some guy at work was offering them to go to Vegas with them and the other couples. If the op and her dh weren't going on the trip, why would the coworkers dh even care if they were swingers? I think it's great that the op's dh was offering the comps to them, it was a very generous thing to do, but it might just be possible that the dh is wondering why someone is being so nice. Maybe he's not use to people offering them something like that. We also don't know how he said it to his wife. Was it "these people aren't swingers are they?" meaning red flags were going up for him and he was wondering if that is why this guy from work is offering them the comps. Or was it "Hey, check to find out if these people swing". Which definitely suggests that he is a swinger and was testing the waters to see if op and her dh were. In which case, hopefully he got the message when op's dh told the coworker that they weren't.

Just some food for thought!

 

[TheRatPack]

My husband and I took a trip once with his work. It was a really nice hotel and a nice get together for other people in his business. Anyhow, I was about 3 months pregnant and at the formal part of the weekend we were approached by a couple who seemed nice enough. They chatted for a while and having the prego brain cells going on I never even thought of it as a come on. Later that evening my husband told me that they wanted to know what room we were in and where we were from....etc. He of course didn't tell them but still to this day he gets all 'manly' when he thinks we were hot enough to attract swingers LOL

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think the guy and is wife are swingers and are looking for a new "friend" to swing with. I would stay away if it was me. Too much out of my comfort level.