"He ONLY wants to be an auto mechanic..."

[SingleFather]

Have you ever heard a parent say something like that about their child? Once I was having a conversation with a mom who talked about her son and his dreams. She said something that frankly took me aback. She said, "He ONLY wants to be an auto mechanic..." with a tone of disgust and dissappointment. Granted, I live in an upper middle class area where most parents work in white collar jobs. However, I was still amazed at her tone. It was as if she felt that being a mechanic would be beneath her son.

I asked her what was wrong with being a mechanic and she said she just expected so much more for her son. I asked if she and her husband did any work on their cars and she said no. So I asked who would work on her car if their were no mechanics? I guess she just looked down on that profession and would not want her son doing that.

I said well you son is only eight and will probably change his mind several times, but why not encourage him to do what he loves. If he chooses a lifestyle that is different, who cares if he makes less income in his chosen career. For awhile, all my daughter could talk about was being a cheerleader and I never thought to shoot her dreams down.

Would it bother you for your child to pursue a career that made less money or where they worked physically harder than you if it is what they loved?

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Good mechanics around here make more than I do and I do pretty well, so if that's what DS wanted to do I'd be totally cool with that.

As it is, my DS wants to be an opera singer. It gave me heartburn initially because the chances of real success are so small, but then I realized that it's his life and music brings him joy. Why would I want him to pursue anything less than what makes him feel complete? If he isn't rich, so be it.

 

[golfgal]

Some friends of ours keep saying this about their son. The really funny part is that he will be making more then they do, combined . If it is what your child wants to do, great. I wish I had an auto mechanic in the family for free/low cost auto repairs .

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Would it bother you for your child to pursue a career that made less money or where they worked physically harder than you if it is what they loved?

No.

DD 25 is in her last year of grad school. She will be a social worker and will not be making big bucks, but it is what she wants.

I don't think education = money.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I just asked my kids what they want to be when they grow up...

DS said a fairy....SERIOUSLY
DD said principal...

Wonder what she would say to THAT!

 

[golfgal]

I just asked my kids what they want to be when they grow up...

DS said a fairy....SERIOUSLY
DD said principal...

Wonder what she would say to THAT!

In Kindergarten DD16 said she wanted to be a cat when she grew up . We were not too bothered by that.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

And yes...I would absolutely support my kids. Unless they were killing people or slinging dope.

If my son wants to poke holes in people and my DD wants to be a Denny's waitress good for them...as long as THEY are happy.

 

[diz8297]

I totally would, and am actually, supporting my children in their dreams. My oldest is just beginning the college search. And while his dream job in sports management/marketing may not be the most realistic or practical, I support him. Actually, I would be thrilled if one of my children wanted to take up a trade. With the price of tuition and the job market being what it is, college isn't all that's cracked up to be. And while I was able to get decent job with an undergrad degree, I know that my children will need to go on and obtain their Master's.

 

[golfgal]

I totally would, and am actually, supporting my children in their dreams. My oldest is just beginning the college search. And while his dream job in sports management/marketing may not be the most realistic or practical, I support him. Actually, I would be thrilled if one of my children wanted to take up a trade. With the price of tuition and the job market being what it is, college isn't all that's cracked up to be. And while I was able to get decent job with an undergrad degree, I know that my children will need to go on and obtain their Master's.

Actually that is an up an coming career. There was some survey done earlier this year and that was one of the top 10 careers to get into. There are only a handful of schools around that offer this major though. There are new rules for many of the professional sports leagues that people that manage athletes have to have a degree in this to be able to negotiate contracts, etc.

It also think people have the mistaken impression that being an auto mechanic is a low paying job--it's a dirty job, but around here auto mechanics make about $40/hour.

 

[Mkrop]

I could care less what my kids do in life as long as they are happy and if they decide to have a family they can support that family in a comfortable way, doesnt have to be the big house either.

Some of the well off people I know are roofers, landscapers, house painters etc. I even know a garbage man who makes a great living. Another guy never went to college but now owns a plastic recycling business that is doing extremely well.

I think if anything I would talk to my kids about the pros and cons of careers, and maybe talk them into taking some basic business courses in case they do want to own their own business. But I would not talk them out of anything or think any career is beneath them

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

When DD was little she wanted to be the garbage man. She thought it would be cool to drive the big truck. Her first aspiration was to be a princess, but we couldn't find any job openings for that one.

 

[SingleFather]

Does anyone else know a parent like that that would look down on their kid if they made that sort of choice?

 

[Buckalew11]

I'm a hairdresser. No college. While I personally regret not college, I have been doing hair for 28 years and have enjoyed every day of it. Doing what you love is like doing a hobby for your job.
I could do better $$ but choose to work at home charging very reasonable prices because I do not think a family's haircare should be a major budget item.

I think parents should encourage their kids to do what they love and are interested in.

My DH was led to another path than he thought and I think he could be much happier in his work if he'd done something else. He does have a college degree and all that though.

 

[AlwaysMoving]

I said well your son is only eight and will probably change his mind several times, but why not encourage him to do what he loves. If he chooses a lifestyle that is different, who cares if he makes less income in his chosen career.

Would it bother you for your child to pursue a career that made less money or where they worked physically harder than you if it is what they loved?

When my son was 8, all he wanted to do was be a ballet dancer. He is now 19 and is still a ballet dancer. This is the profession he chose. It is the one my husband and I support. Sure, he will not make as much as he would if he chose another career path, and he will probably encounter a lot of harrassment from strangers, but it is something he loves to do and we ask ourselves "how many people go to work everyday and love their job?"

 

[MELSMICE]

One of my DD's wanted to be a taxi cab driver when she was younger. She is now in college in the Bio Med department. Talk about a change of plans!

 

[MrsPete]

I see this attitude directed towards the kids who want to go into the military. "Why would you go into the Army? You're so smart!" For the right kid, the miltary can be a great start in life. They gave my brother some great training, and he's highly employable today.

 

[Buckalew11]

Does anyone else know a parent like that that would look down on their kid if they made that sort of choice?

Yes, I have known of too many who felt they that woman felt. I've heard it myself because of my chosen profession (along with the reputation hairdressers in general have).

While growing up, the boy next door wanted to be a chef. He would have been in his 50's today so it was that long ago...but, his dad frowned on having a son who is a chef. He made him play baseball and football--what his son to "be a man". He was the type who told my mom, mother of 3 dds, that "It takes a man to make a son."

His son went on to get get involved in drugs and died of an overdose many years ago. I'll always wonder if being brought up with that type of pressure and attitude had something to do with how he lived out his life.

 

[LisaNJ25]

My 6yo son wants to be a babysitter.. Because that's what I have been doing the past few years. Now that I would rather him not do.

I would be happy if my 19yo went to school to become a mechanic or any other trade.. someone always needs their cars worked on.

For some kids college is not for them and a trade school will do wonders.. even ending up making more that some college educated people.

P.S. My husband is a mechanic.. but works for the county so is not bringing in the big bucks.. but the benefits are great.

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

I would definitely be supportive of any career my children wanted to undertake - as long as they were prepared for the economic consequences/reality. My kids live a pretty gosh-darned nice life right now due to the living I make, and while I don't worry that they will 'just' want to be any job in particular, I worry that they will expect to live an investment banker's life on a social worker's salary. I think that can be a valid concern.

I also think that it's fair to worry that your children will have financial stresses that come with a low paying job (white collar or blue). I don't think guiding a child towards something they may enjoy, that will most likely provide financial stability, is being snobbish at all.

Signed, the daughter of a bartender and day care teacher...

 

[tw1nsmom]

I truly don't care what my children do for a living as long as it makes them happy, they can support themselves (even if it means they live frugally), it doesn't hurt anyone else and they do their best at whatever they choose.

Having said that, some people who know me might believe that I think differently. I don't keep it a secret here that DS has significant learning disabilities. While I'll support my children in whatever they want, I'll also make sure that it's their choice and not any limitations that others have placed on them. I don't want a school administrator's preconceived notions of what my child can or cannot learn limit what they're able to do later in life. In other words, if DS ends up working at a movie theater because that is what he truly wants to do with his life, then I would be more than fine with it. If he ends up working at a movie theater because an administrator insisted that all he could attain was an IEP diploma therefore he wasn't qualified for anything else, then I wouldn't be ok with it.

I think it's my job to make sure that both DD and DS receive a well rounded education. If, upon graduation, DD wants to move to NY and be a sculptor then fine, but I also want her to have the academic background to be able to go to college if she changes her mind about what she wants to be when she's 18. I want the same for DS.

BTW..some of the most successful people i know never went to college.