He has a name, dammit!!

[Tigger&Belle]

So it's settled--FIL is #1 and you'll number the others. They should get the idea. Tell them that it's gotten too confusing for the kids to remember the names of the different grandparents so you are going to a number system.

I do like the size idea.If one grandma is large and one very gray, you could go with those descriptions.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

If they love him and are good to him otherwise, I'd chalk it up to aging and not worry about it all.

My grandmother called me the same name all the time. It was a lovely name, but it just happened to be my aunt's name -- my sister got called my mother's name. I knew she knew who I was, and loved me very much but just slipped up.

As a teacher who isn't great at "word retrieval" I frequently call my students and my son friends "sweetheart", "kiddo" etc. . . to cover up the fact that right at that moment their name is nowhere near the tip of my tongue.

Now if you think they're favoring the other two in more meaningful ways I'd be concerned, but just forgetting his name alone? Nah, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[momrek06]

I myself have 1 brother and 4 sisters and my Mom has YET to call us by our own given names...I guess if your own Mom can't get it correctly it tends to be funny... Dad never has any issues...just Mom but she tends to have allot on her mind!!!

AND we are all in our 50's now and my mom will start with one name and get to the second and I will look right at her and she starts to laugh and says.."what is your name anyway"....um, mom, I say to her.."you are so suffering from O.L.D." and then she says..."what is THAT?" and I laugh and say "you are OLD"...

But on a serious note my son's name is Christopher and around the time he was about 7 or 8 y.o. my MIL comes to our home for Xmas and hands DS his gifts. And every gift said in big letters.."KRIS"...and my son says to me "these are not for me, mom, it says KRIS"...I look at my MIL and she said.."Oh, I thought that is how he spelled his name"...WHATTTTTT...no it is NOT, he has spelled his name "Christopher" SINCE HIS BIRTH...Just another MIL moment.

 

[Keli]

Steve, sometimes it's just hard to keep the names of children in the family straight. I tend to have a real problem with 'instant recall' and I resort to cheating and using generic phrases to compensate. Although I wouldn't ever call one of my grandsons "the other one" I certainly would say "the little one".

If you haven't noticed a difference in how they treat him, how much time they spend with him and things like that then I'd forgive the name thing. How much attention you should pay to it really depends on the big picture IMHO.

 

[Bob Slydell]

If you haven't noticed a difference in how they treat him, how much time they spend with him and things like that then I'd forgive the name thing. How much attention you should pay to it really depends on the big picture IMHO.

No, she also spends a lot more time with Cameron as well. She'll take him places (places that I know Ryan would enjoy) and leave Ryan behind. My mom's doing the same thing in another week or so -- having Cameron to her house for a long weekend and not Ryan.

I know they love him just as much, but they've not been showing it much lately.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

AND we are all in our 50's now and my mom will start with one name and get to the second and I will look right at her and she starts to laugh and says.."what is your name anyway"....um, mom, I say to her.."you are so suffering from O.L.D." and then she says..."what is THAT?" and I laugh and say "you are OLD"...

I'm the youngest of 5 children and my joke (which was not totally a joke, BTW) was always that I used to think that my name was ShirleyMaryGaryKennyLinda. My mother also called us sweetie, etc to cover up always forgetting the name, but I never had a problem with any of it.

And it's true that a person can tell a person's intent. I know that if my mother or MIL didn't call my child by their name, it wouldn't bother me because they'd be calling them sweetheart, love, or another term of endearment. They wouldn't call them "the other one". Or grandchild #3. Not unless someone was asking them where in the grandchild birth order they fell.

 

[momrek06]

I'm the youngest of 5 children and my joke (which was not totally a joke, BTW) was always that I used to think that my name was ShirleyMaryGaryKennyLinda. My mother also called us sweetie, etc to cover up always forgetting the name, but I never had a problem with any of it.

And it's true that a person can tell a person's intent. I know that if my mother or MIL didn't call my child by their name, it wouldn't bother me because they'd be calling them sweetheart, love, or another term of endearment. They wouldn't call them "the other one". Or grandchild #3. Not unless someone was asking them where in the grandchild birth order they fell.

YUP, you are so right...it was truly all in and we all just laughed it off. And now both M&D are 80 y.o. and it is just as funny now as it was then !!!

But you are right...always an attempt at one of many FIRST names or a long list of enduring names is so much better than "the other one"...

 

[Miss Jasmine]

No, she also spends a lot more time with Cameron as well. She'll take him places (places that I know Ryan would enjoy) and leave Ryan behind. My mom's doing the same thing in another week or so -- having Cameron to her house for a long weekend and not Ryan.

I know they love him just as much, but they've not been showing it much lately.

Steve, that is so stinky. My MIL does that with DD (14) and DS (13). She will have DD stay over for a couple of days, but doesn't want to do the same with DS. It pisses me off. Hopefully as Ryan get a little older, he'll be more included.

It also annoys me when someone has a baby and everyone just refers to it as "THE BABY".

 

[nuke]

No, she also spends a lot more time with Cameron as well. She'll take him places (places that I know Ryan would enjoy) and leave Ryan behind. My mom's doing the same thing in another week or so -- having Cameron to her house for a long weekend and not Ryan.

I know they love him just as much, but they've not been showing it much lately.

I think that's an age difference thing. I know my girlfriend takes her older grandchild all the time but only takes the baby when her daughter needs a babysitter. It's just easier to bring along a 5 year old than a 1 year old.

But I would probably feel the same as you do.

Now the name thing would piss me off.

 

[Buckalew11]

I say "nip it in the bud". I would make sure that Ryan is to never ever feel second fiddle.

That being said, they may find it is easier to take Cameron places because he is older. I understand that, but I wouldn't allow them to get in any kind of a habit with this "other one" and #3 thing.

My sister has 4 kids and honestly, I can't always keep their names straight when I'm talking. It is such a *old* thing to do, I hate it when I do it. But, luckily, my DSis and DBIL are 8 and 10 years older so they do it more than I do! LOL

 

[MosMom]

I bet the things they include Ryan in will improve when he gets older. Cameron is out of the curious toddler stage and they become much easier to handle at that point. I'm not saying it is right but I bet that is going on. As far as saying "the other one", that stinks.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I also can understand them only wanting to bring one child or the older one, but there are places that they can bring Ryan or special things that they could plan to do with him. Some people are not baby people, though. Baffles me, but it is the case with some people. Did they spend a lot of time with Cameron when he was little?

 

[mickeyboat]

Hannah and Emily are less than a year apart. When they were babies MIL and FIL used to watch them quite often, MIL would end up taking care of Hannah, and FIL would take care of Emily - most of the time napping with her. He started favoring her something terrible.

MIL died when the girls were almost 2 and 3. FIL still favors Emily, to the point where it makes me sick. It seems like it's a huge effort for him to spend any time with Hannah, or pay any attention to her.

Believe me, at 6, Hannah notices these things. He is only hurting his relationship with her in the long run.

Denae

 

[golfgal]

Start referring to anyone who does that by size instead.

We're going to see grandma - the bigger one

QUOTE]

I love this one!!!

I could understand if you named him Farquart or something and she couldn't remember his name, but Ryan is pretty easy. Nice lady .

 

[Keli]

I see your point here, the name thing coupled with spending less time with Ryan does make a difference. Because of the age difference I don't know if I would do anything yet but I definitely wouldn't let anyone play favorites over the long run. I understand your aggrivation over the name thing a lot better now.

 

[disneymom3]

I'm the youngest of 5 children and my joke (which was not totally a joke, BTW) was always that I used to think that my name was ShirleyMaryGaryKennyLinda. My mother also called us sweetie, etc to cover up always forgetting the name, but I never had a problem with any of it.

I am the youngest of 8 and let me tell ya, I got that all the time! My mom would say, "Debbie, Margy, Paula--oh, you know who you are!" She also referred to any of the granddaughters as having the middle name Marie. Whether they did or not! One vacation when it was just us two youngest ones along, the entire vacation both Mom and Dad referred to us by the oldest two's names. We started calling them Uncle Joe or Aunt Mona. (We don't have an uncle Joe or aunt Mona btw.)

 

[grlpwrd]

No, she also spends a lot more time with Cameron as well. She'll take him places (places that I know Ryan would enjoy) and leave Ryan behind. My mom's doing the same thing in another week or so -- having Cameron to her house for a long weekend and not Ryan.

I know they love him just as much, but they've not been showing it much lately.

At first I thought "oh, it's no big deal, really" but after reading this it is a big deal. I grew up with the favoritism issue, too.

I agree...nip it in the bud now.

 

[delilah]

My MIL could never get my name right, not even when we were first married, 28 years ago. Now she has Alzheimer's disease, so, she has an excuse. My name is "Diane", but she would sometimes call me "Joanne", or "Judy", or "Yoodie". Judy was her sister's DIL, but I don't know who Yoodie and Joanne were or are. Maybe they are the ones she says broke into her house and hid or stole her things.

 

[NewJersey]

Wait, Bob he has a name? Instead of "cutie pie?"

Agree with others..nip it in the butt now.

 

[luvflorida]

I could understand if you named him Farquart or something and she couldn't remember his name, but Ryan is pretty easy.

Referring to your youngest as "the other one" made me think of the movie, The Village, where there were "those whom we don't speak of", or something like that. Sorry, I know that doesn't help any!

The next time your MIL calls on the phone ask, "and your name is...?"