Have you/would you send your child to bed without dinner, as a "punishment"?

[Lovely2CU]

Just something a colleague believes in doing if their child misbehaves.

I am not sure what the purpose is except showing a child that you, the parent, are in control. Missing an odd meal would not hurt a healthy child, but it's not something I would do to my child, or had done to me when I was growing up.

But were you ever sent to bed without dinner ?
And what do you think of this type of "punishment"?

 

[JessicaR]

I've never used food as a punishment or a reward. My parents never did this either.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Not just no but HELL NO!

Taking something a child NEEDS is cruel. If you want to punish you take away a want but never something like a meal.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

No, but my kids are rather scrawny and I'm constantly trying to get them to eat. They'd probably take missing dinner (and therefore Mom's nagging) as a reward!

Seriously, though, I agree with the PP - I think it's a bad idea to use food as a punishment or a reward.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You are assuming we are having dinner. We don't have "full dinners" every night.

I guess if I had full course meals nightly with dessert I could see it as a real punishment, I guess.

We are not big eaters here. Dinner is usually light anyway.

 

[Sparx]

no. no. no. no. food is for survival. it isn't a reward, it isn't a punishment. adding extra feelings towards food is asking for an eating disorder.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Maybe.... but ONLY if a food incident was why a punishment was doled out. No reason to associate food with anything else.

For instance - and no way my kids would do this - but if they threw their food on the floor because they didn't like it.

 

[alexandria674]

I wouldn't take dinner but the kid wouldn't have dessert. Dessert is a privledge not a right and if they misbehaved at the table, they would not get the dessert.

 

[tonilea]

Maybe.... but ONLY if a food incident was why a punishment was doled out. No reason to associate food with anything else.

For instance - and no way my kids would do this - but if they threw their food on the floor because they didn't like it.

Those are my thoughts as well.

 

[bigbabyblues]

No.

 

[karen l]

I wouldn't take dinner but the kid wouldn't have dessert. Dessert is a privledge not a right and if they misbehaved at the table, they would not get the dessert.

I've done this too. I'd never send them to bed without dinner.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

I said no, never have. My SIL did once, I think. The kids have to eat. They do not always get dessert. If you are too full to eat everything on your plate, you are too full for dessert. To me that is common sense. And, if you have misbehaved, you do not deserve a treat and dessert is a treat. But, you have to eat and I would never withhold food from my children.

 

[MomofKatie]

I wouldn't withhold food as a punishment, no. BUT, if DD was being picky and didn't want to eat what I fixed for dinner, she could go without food for an evening. I don't run a restaurant- I make one dinner, and if someone in the family doesn't want to eat what I made, they can go hungry for a night.

**EDITING TO ADD** If DD or DH wanted to fix something different for themselves (and not expect me to do it), I'd be OK with that.

 

[Papa Deuce]

.... But, you have to eat and I would never withhold food from my children.

So, just clarifying, with no idea how old your children are, if they threw a temper tantrum, at age 10, and tossed their food on the floor, you would get them more food?

 

[mjkacmom]

I've never used food as a punishment or a reward. My parents never did this either.

Agreed - I feel the same way about food.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I haven't, but I might!

It really depends. But in reality, a meal withheld would be tied only to issues during the meal.

But if they were having poor table manners or disliked the food, I don't make alternate meals. They are big enough to learn to enjoy what is served or do without. It isn't child abuse. The next meal will be breakfast and hopefully they'll have eaten enough during the day to tide them over. Often when that is presented though--they stop complaining and eat their meal properly. Except for DS2--he's still a bit little--so we just ask him if he is done, we let him be excused.

But food in and of itself as a punishment--no, I wouldn't do that. But seriously, the average healthy kid isn't going to die fo starvation if this was every once in a blue moon. It isn't cruel. It isn't Oliver.

We also don't do the clean plate club either. As long as their meal has been reasonably eaten, we don't withhold dessert. Teaches them that the dessert isn't the meal, nor to overeat just b/c there is food on the plate.

 

[mjkacmom]

I said no, never have. My SIL did once, I think. The kids have to eat. They do not always get dessert. If you are too full to eat everything on your plate, you are too full for dessert. To me that is common sense. And, if you have misbehaved, you do not deserve a treat and dessert is a treat. But, you have to eat and I would never withhold food from my children.

I would never, ever, make them eat all of food on their plate. Dessert is eaten because it tastes yummy, not to end hunger, which is what the meal is for. I rarely eat dessert, but when I do, I always save room! Making them clean their plate (which is rarely recommended anymore) causes them to ignore their signals of fullness from their stomach. This is why many people tend to overeat these days.

 

[justhat]

I wouldn't withhold food as a punishment, no. BUT, if DD was being picky and didn't want to eat what I fixed for dinner, she could go without food for an evening. I don't run a restaurant- I make one dinner, and if someone in the family doesn't want to eat what I made, they can go hungry for a night.

**EDITING TO ADD** If DD or DH wanted to fix something different for themselves (and not expect me to do it), I'd be OK with that.

Same here. I've never actually had to do it, as everytime we have told our kids that it's either eat what's out or don't eat, they eventually come around and take a few bites of whatever they deem not too bad. But I would not make another entire meal as we never make anything they don't like so there shouldn't be any issues (at least part of a meal anyway-like tonight was chicken soup-my daughter mainly likes the noodles, my son the chicken, so they picked out what they wanted).

I wouldn't use it as a punishment though, that seems a bit harsh, to have the kid basically watch everyone else eat and not be allowed to have anything.

 

[ORMom2Four]

No, I have not done this. My parents didn't do it either.

Witholding food causes hunger pain. PAIN inflicted in an indirect manner by parents as punishment.

 

[fireman17]

No. I would never do this. I would not want my children to be one bit hungry. In my profession I have seen too many children that are hungry because their parents are using the money elsewhere and it breaks my heart when I come across a child in that situation.