Have you lost someone to a violent crime?

[mrsklamc]

I know everyone reacts in their own way but I'm hoping someone can give me some idea of what we might expect.

My mom's husband was murdered on Tuesday and she is just still in shock. Unfortunately, she saw the body. Or maybe fortunately, as it seems to give her some kind of peace.

I just have no idea how to best help her or what to expect.

 

[Robinrs]

I'm so sorry.... what a tragedy.

Just be there for her. She needs a shoulder and an ear, not a mouth. Try to feel what she needs and be there for her. She needs support now.

 

[nmmom95]

I'm so sorry! Please try to get her into counseling; Losing someone you love is hard enough. I can't imagine how awful losing them to a violent crime must be.

 

[dis75ney]

My best friend's youngest sister was murdered almost six years ago at the age of sixteen. She was stabbed to death during a home break-in. Her mother was the one who found her.

If your mother is anything like my best friend's family, she'll be in shock for a while. Sudden deaths are a shock in general, but a violent death is another matter altogether. Everyone reacts differently to death, and I agree with PPs about being there for your mother and listening to your gut instincts as to what to do for her.

One thing I will warn you of when a murder is involved, though. If the murderer is caught and the case goes to court, it's like reliving the murder all over again. My best friend's family had to wait for four years before Lizzie's murderer was sentenced. They'd make a step or two forward in healing and recovery, but then another court date would come up and they'd take two or three steps back. Granted, it got easier to make up the steps as time went along, but at least once a month from the time of the murder to the sentencing hearing, my best friend and I would get together and down a gallon of ice cream while we watched the Richard Simmons episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway (it was the one thing that could make us laugh no matter what).

to you and your mother...

 

[LuvOrlando]

Oh, I am so sorry. Maybe John Walsh has some books out on surviving the violent death of a loved one. Maybe there are even support groups in your area based out of a local hospital. What a horrible loss

 

[Donaldswife]

I know everyone reacts in their own way but I'm hoping someone can give me some idea of what we might expect.

My mom's husband was murdered on Tuesday and she is just still in shock. Unfortunately, she saw the body. Or maybe fortunately, as it seems to give her some kind of peace.

I just have no idea how to best help her or what to expect.

I have a dear friend that was murdered two and half years ago by her husband. Very violent. My life is not the same. You have to take it day by day. It does lessen with time, but it is definitely something you do NOT forget.

 

[cm8]

, my Goddaughter's father was murdered, him and like 6 other people at work, he fought back, but he still lost his life in the end. She was 10 at the time and she is now 18, she remembers like it was yesterday. She will never forget, but she always talks about him and prays for him to be at peace. It will get easy, but she will always remember.

 

[TandJ61574]

Sadly my cousin Kathleen Savio was murdered over 6 years ago. The trial for her ex-husband (Drew Peterson) will begin in June and my family will have to relive the whole thing all over again. Praying for justice.