Have you ever turned down a date simply based on looks?

[Buzz Rules]

Have you ever turned down a date simply based on looks?

 

[fly girl]

Yes.

There have been guys I met and enjoyed their company, but when asked for a date I wasn't attracted to them in "that way," so I didn't want to fake and say yes. No sense leading them on ... which I think is worse. Why have them pay for my dinner or movie when I knew it was going nowhere?

 

[White Cat]

I’m sure it’s happened to me.

 

[White Cat]

Yes.

There have been guys I met and enjoyed their company, but when asked for a date I wasn't attracted to them in "that way," so I didn't want to fake and say yes. No sense leading them on ... which I think is worse. Why have them pay for my dinner or movie when I knew it was going nowhere?

Just curious if they were wealthy?

 

[fly girl]

Just curious if they were wealthy?

This was in college. No one was wealthy.

NOTE: I have never done the online dating. I was married in 2000. Different world.



ETA: now I am curious why you asked about their wealth? Do you think I would have dated a guy I had no attraction to because he was wealthy? I am not that shallow. Yes they are people that are, but I am not. And if that is what you were insinuating that is pretty low.

 

[superme80]

I did and I don't feel bad about it. He was a great guy, but not my type at all.

 

[White Cat]

This was in college. No one was wealthy.

NOTE: I have never done the online dating. I was married in 2000. Different world.



ETA: now I am curious why you asked about their wealth? Do you think I would have dated a guy I had no attraction to because he was wealthy? I am not that shallow. Yes they are people that are, but I am not. And if that is what you were insinuating that is pretty low.

Not saying you. I don’t know you. But I know women in general. You said you enjoyed his company. If he was wealthy or in a very high income job usually that would be enough. Usually women aim to marry up. The higher up the better.

 

[lynxstch]

If strictly based on looks, no. I don't judge a book by it's cover, or a person by their outer looks. I dated a couple of men, (this is way before I was married)-who weren't great in the looks department, but were some of the sweetest, thoughtful men I ever met.

 

[ronandannette]

Yes, a bunch of times and I’d do so again if I ever find myself single and interested in dating.

And let’s ask the flip-side question: Have you ever not asked someone out because you didn’t find their looks appealing?

 

[1420Elexismc]

Not because of looks but in spite of looks. As in, great to look at-but not one personality trait that was attractive to me

 

[BrianL]

The one woman who did ask me out was really quite attractive, though also a deceitful and soul-destroying, well, you get the idea. Nobody else has ever asked. I have initiated a couple of times though, albeit without a ton of success.

 

[fla4fun]

I don’t judge people on their physical traits. I have dated tall, short, fat, skinny, conventionally attractive or not. I do have an issue if the guy has bad hygiene though. Don’t ask me out without taking a shower, washing your hair, brushing your teeth, and putting on clean clothes. A person can’t help what they look like, for the most part, but they can make the best of what they have by being clean and odor free.

 

[fly girl]

Not saying you. I don’t know you. But I know women in general. You said you enjoyed his company. If he was wealthy or in a very high income job usually that would be enough. Usually women aim to marry up. The higher up the better.

That is such a crummy generalization. I can really enjoy a wealthy persons company but not think it is enough. I need to be attracted physically too. Usually a wonderful personality makes someone more attractive. Sure I have dated guys my friends thought were not good looking, but their personality made them attractive to me! For me, I have to have that physical attraction.

Case in point: I have dated a good looking wealthy man before, a pro athlete. You can get higher on wealth scale, but his was pretty darn high. It was definitely not enough. Money can't buy happiness. Dated for about 8 months and I knew it was done.

 

[Buzz Rules]

Yes, a bunch of times and I’d do so again if I ever find myself single and interested in dating.

And let’s ask the flip-side question: Have you ever not asked someone out because you didn’t find their looks appealing?

Only once due to her not looking hygienic. I have been rejected by several women that said “I rather be friends” and one that said “I only date beach gods and your not one”. And because I’m not a beach god but a genuinely nice guy who in his own opinion looks like a 7/10 physically but a 10/10 in terms of the inside qualities, I don’t judge anyone solely on looks.

 

[Carol_]

This was in college. No one was wealthy.

NOTE: I have never done the online dating. I was married in 2000. Different world.



ETA: now I am curious why you asked about their wealth? Do you think I would have dated a guy I had no attraction to because he was wealthy? I am not that shallow. Yes they are people that are, but I am not. And if that is what you were insinuating that is pretty low.

Wealth is just another feature about a person that one may consider in determining a good fit in a relationship. Are they good at managing their money or are they burning through a trust without ever contributing to society? Are they funny? Are they interested in the same things and also wealthy and also not physically my type?
Considering a person’s wealth isn’t inherently lowly.

 

[ronandannette]

Wealth is just another feature about a person that one may consider in determining a good fit in a relationship. Are they good at managing their money or are they burning through a trust without ever contributing to society? Are they funny? Are they interested in the same things and also wealthy and also not physically my type?
Considering a person’s wealth isn’t inherently lowly.

It’s been a long while but I don’t ever remember knowing anyone well enough before being asked on a first date, to really know any of those details.

 

[Carol_]

It’s been a long while but I don’t ever remember knowing anyone well enough before being asked on a first date, to really know any of those details.

LOL. I’m famous for asking wholly inappropriate questions early on and in rapid succession.

 

[fly girl]

Wealth is just another feature about a person that one may consider in determining a good fit in a relationship. Are they good at managing their money or are they burning through a trust without ever contributing to society? Are they funny? Are they interested in the same things and also wealthy and also not physically my type?
Considering a person’s wealth isn’t inherently lowly.

I get that. But this read to me as solely being with someone because they were wealthy. The way the first two exchanges read, I took it as if he was wealthy my opinion would change. The insinuation was low, imho.

Read this exchange:

Yes.

There have been guys I met and enjoyed their company, but when asked for a date I wasn't attracted to them in "that way," so I didn't want to fake and say yes. No sense leading them on ... which I think is worse. Why have them pay for my dinner or movie when I knew it was going nowhere?

Just curious if they were wealthy?

You said you enjoyed his company. If he was wealthy or in a very high income job usually that would be enough.

It was assumed because I enjoyed his company and he was wealthy that would suffice. Nope. There are many factors, and yes wealth is in there. But it isn't the largest and most determining factor for me.

 

[starry_solo]

Not saying you. I don’t know you. But I know women in general. You said you enjoyed his company. If he was wealthy or in a very high income job usually that would be enough. Usually women aim to marry up. The higher up the better.

not just women, men too. We call them gigolos? Lol

 

[Buzz Rules]

I will say this. Most boys in my high school/college thought this song was true. I still believe it’s only true for 10% of all women. So I still hold out hope I will find the right one in the remaining 90%.