Have You Ever Hosted A Foreign Exchange Student? How Did It Go?

[wilkeliza]

Sorry for your rough family life growing up. Yes some just place kids for the $$$$ like any business there are good reputable ones and bad ones. A lot of money changes hands but the host family gets nothing. Some families will pay anything to get their kids a US visa and have the money to spare. And some kids think everything is NYC or LA.

Yeah looking back as an adult there was something very fishy about it to say the least. Our sleazy German teacher worked with a group out of germany to bring the 2 girls and one lived with him and then they asked the German students if anyone wanted one. I guess my teacher figured since my family was the only one that was actually German by decent then it would be a perfect match hahaha. I think my aunt and uncle actually did work through an organization and had a night and day experience which seems to be what is important. If the kid is already here probably better to just say sorry I can't help this semester.

 

[gotomu212]

We hosted several when I was younger in high school and had au pairs as an adult. It was great, but I'd caution doing it if you don't have kids of your own. It was a lot easier to entertain them and help them acclimate when you have another kid to send them off with and can keep tabs on their behavior through your own kid

 

[Kitty 34]

Twice but they were 9 and 11 years old and were just here from France for three weeks. It was cool because my son went over there for 3 weeks.

 

[mnrose]

The high school is within walking distance, and failing that they could take the bus.

I'm not concerned with them wanting to borrow my car. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole legal-driving-age-is-16 thing mostly limited to the Americas (viz, USA, Mexico, Canada, and so on)?

We are hosting a German exchange student this year. She is 16, and will turn 17 while here. She is NOT licensed to drive. She is too young in her home country. The bigger issue will be alcohol use, which is legal and allowed in her home country, but not here. Neither of my children drink, and we've made it clear up front that she will be expected to live according to the rules in America. Also, she is a student athlete, and rules are very strict in Minnesota about that sort of thing. Hoping there is no issue. I'm actually looking forward to it!

 

[SMD]

I had an aunt who hosted AFS students as she and my cousin had done the program. AFS is post high school, so kids who have already graduated then move here and so another year of high school. Most were over 18 and able to legally drink in their country, but couldn't here. Also, I think a few were disappointed to be living with an older, single person, as opposed to a family who might have teens or young adults they could socialize with. I felt like a couple also took advantage of the exchange to party, and took advantage of not being supervised as closely by an older, single host. It's kind of a roll of the dice what you'll get. You may want to offer to do a shorter summer program exchange or short home visit on a cultural exchange before committing to something more long term.

 

[ronandannette]

Wow that's terrifying.

Back when I went to church, I was friends with a family who was always taking in foreign exchange students. For some reason they always had Asian girls. For some other (wink wink) reason, the girls never lasted more than a few weeks before frantic phone calls were made and they were placed somewhere else. I'm not saying the dad was probably being inappropriate with them, but I'm almost positive the dad was being inappropriate with them.

I would hope that these agencies screen host families.

Of course, you could be right, but something else also could have been in play. My DS's private Christian school had a large number of international students. 100% of the kids from China came from families that were part of the political and financial elite (hence their ability to get their children exit visas to attend a religious school while others in their country have no religious freedom). These kids were usually cherished only children and accustomed to an extremely high standard of living. Routine family life without luxury homes and domestic staff to cater to their every whim was a shock. Many had an extremely hard time settling into their host homes. A good friend of ours whose 4 children also went to the school was a host but it was tough. One of her students demanded to be re-located because the household rule was that everybody packed their own lunch the night before. Another only lasted two days because she didn't like sharing a bathroom.

Sorry for your rough family life growing up. Yes some just place kids for the $$$$ like any business there are good reputable ones and bad ones. A lot of money changes hands but the host family gets nothing. Some families will pay anything to get their kids a US visa and have the money to spare. And some kids think everything is NYC or LA.

This was totally true of the kids from China that came to DS's school. It was really hard to line up their expectations with reality.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

OP, I noticed in another thread asking "Do you like staying with other people or having them stay with you"", you replied "Oh good lord no.
Visitors at my House: We aren't equipped for guests. We only have one bed, and our furniture is too old and uncomfortable for guests to sleep on. It's the main reason why we're not offering our place for the Eclipse - nowhere for guests to sleep."

Hosting an exchange student would be a huge commitment comparatively.

 

[Poohforyou]

My daughter did a 2 week exchange program to Germany and then that German student stayed with us.

I enjoyed it well enough but wouldn't want to do it for a much longer period. I'm not crazy about having other people staying in our house. I like my privacy too much.

He was a very easy and polite guest though.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My sister hosted a teenage Chinese girl, though I don't think she was from mainland China. She had been in another home basically functioning as an unpaid babysitter/maid and she was unhappy. Very sweet kid, fluent in English, and not at all entitled. We all still keep in touch with her now several years later.

 

[tzolkin]

My daughter did a 2 week exchange program to Germany and then that German student stayed with us.

I enjoyed it well enough but wouldn't want to do it for a much longer period. I'm not crazy about having other people staying in our house. I like my privacy too much.

He was a very easy and polite guest though.

Yes, with the longer (full-year) students, they really can't be a "guest" or it simply won't work out well.

We had a wonderful experience, but it was due to the kid we had. There was a bit of figuring out boundaries and awkwardness up front, but ultimately she fit very well with our family (very honest/blunt, same sense of humor, affectionate, etc). She has actually returned to visit us a few times and her entire family came to stay with us for a few weeks the year after she lived with us. It could have been a very long and uncomfortable year with a different person and also our interactions with the organization were not very positive.

Of course, you could be right, but something else also could have been in play. My DS's private Christian school had a large number of international students. 100% of the kids from China came from families that were part of the political and financial elite (hence their ability to get their children exit visas to attend a religious school while others in their country have no religious freedom). These kids were usually cherished only children and accustomed to an extremely high standard of living. Routine family life without luxury homes and domestic staff to cater to their every whim was a shock. Many had an extremely hard time settling into their host homes. A good friend of ours whose 4 children also went to the school was a host but it was tough. One of her students demanded to be re-located because the household rule was that everybody packed their own lunch the night before. Another only lasted two days because she didn't like sharing a bathroom.

This was totally true of the kids from China that came to DS's school. It was really hard to line up their expectations with reality.

And this was a major contributing factor to our positive experience. Our German "daughter" came from a very down-to-earth family of modest means (live in a small apartment, saved for a long time to be able to send her, gave her a very small spending allowance, etc). She was more than willing to help out around the house and was always extremely grateful for everything we did (family outings, trips, and even little things like buying her oreo ice cream or a little treat that she enjoyed).

Another factor was also her level of English. She had just turned 15 (most of the kids were 17-18), but her English was excellent (during brief interactions some people could not even detect her accent). We met a few of the other students at events whose grasp of English was not remotely close. The level of comfort we had (joking, teasing, sarcasm) would not have been possible if she was always struggling to understand.

 

[tzolkin]

Yes, that's a big part of it. They also want to borrow your car, eat all your food (no, of course we have no problems feeding them, but you know what I mean), etc...and they're not even your own child, so dealing with those issues takes on a whole different dynamic.

Our organization was VERY clear that the students were not allowed to drive, so that was never an issue for us. (Ours was too young to have a license, but several had been driving for a few years at home.)

The food and some of the expenses was more than what I had anticipated. We are a family of five, so I had assumed that our expenses might increase by about 1/5. Turned out that she could often eat more than all of us combined and she used exponentially more utilities than we did.

We are hosting a German exchange student this year. She is 16, and will turn 17 while here. She is NOT licensed to drive. She is too young in her home country. The bigger issue will be alcohol use, which is legal and allowed in her home country, but not here. Neither of my children drink, and we've made it clear up front that she will be expected to live according to the rules in America. Also, she is a student athlete, and rules are very strict in Minnesota about that sort of thing. Hoping there is no issue. I'm actually looking forward to it!

In our experience, all the students and their parents had to attend orientations and sign forms regarding the alcohol policy. If there was ANY drinking, they would be immediately sent home.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

Really? The US accepts Honduran driver's licenses? I know they take Canadian ones, but I didn't know they were also cool with Honduras!

I do know that if you're coming from Europe, you may need an International Driver's License. (Source: A friend of a friend was visiting from the UK and needed to get one before arriving in the US for an extended stay.)

I looked it up, it apparently depends on the state...

"People who drive in the U.S. must have a valid driver's license. Some states require an International Driving Permit (IDP) from foreign nationals, in addition to a valid license from your own country. Check with the motor vehicle department of each state you will drive in for its requirements. " https://www.usa.gov/visitors-driving

As Australian's we do not need to obtain and International Drivers Licence. Our Australian licence is perfectly acceptable. In saying that. The driving age in our state is 18 so any younger student travelling would not have a licence.

 

[rastahomie]

To the PP who was concerned about my furniture: I did mention that the facilitator started making phone calls about a bed.

Also, it looks like there are programs that only run for 8 weeks at a time. If I went through with this, I would only sign up for the 8-week kind.

Of course, I would also have to read dossiers on all of the available kids. If I had my druthers, I'd want one from a family of modest means so that when they arrive in this very poor town in a very poor part of the country, they won't be aghast.

And I would never dream of making a guest contribute around the house. Even if the guest was a teenager who was trying to learn the American way of life. My grandmother would be rolling in her grave if I even though of doing such a thing.

 

[Magpie]

To the PP who was concerned about my furniture: I did mention that the facilitator started making phone calls about a bed.

Also, it looks like there are programs that only run for 8 weeks at a time. If I went through with this, I would only sign up for the 8-week kind.

Of course, I would also have to read dossiers on all of the available kids. If I had my druthers, I'd want one from a family of modest means so that when they arrive in this very poor town in a very poor part of the country, they won't be aghast.

And I would never dream of making a guest contribute around the house. Even if the guest was a teenager who was trying to learn the American way of life. My grandmother would be rolling in her grave if I even though of doing such a thing.

A little bit of opportunity to contribute around the house might be appreciated...

I once, as a teenager, stayed with a friend of my mum's down in the States. He was a single father with a young son. He was a wonderful host, and took me to see all sorts of interesting sights, but I also spent a great deal of time at loose ends and feeling quite bored and awkward.

In contrast, as a younger teen, my cousin took me for a month to be her "mother's helper" and had me looking after her children while she tended to the housekeeping and cooking. I had a much better time, and really felt like I was part of her family!

Even if it's as simple as handing the kid a knife and asking them to chop the veg for dinner, I think getting to do something useful can make a huge difference in how successful a visit can be. It's the difference between feeling like a guest, and feeling like part of the household. It's possible to manage quite happily being a guest for a week, but it's impossible to keep up for eight weeks. After awhile you just start feeling isolated and unwelcome.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

YES! How long do you have to read this because I can go on about it FOREVER!

It was 100% positive experience and if it helps, I am a type A personality and I was super nervous.

Four years ago, we hosted a young lady from Germany. She was 17 and she did not know how to drive nor did she anticipate driving here. She went to highschool and she never stayed out late or caused any problems. She brought a list with her of things she had heard about from prior exchange students. So we worked on the list part of the time which was things she wanted to see or experience. This was fun for all of us! She wanted to taste Dr Pepper, oreos, mexican food. She wanted to see farm animals ( state fair took care of that) and take a picture of a school bus to show her family. MOSTLY she wanted to see WALMART the store that sells everything. IN THE SAME STORE!

She brought her own spending money. We had to fill out a form saying did we go to church, did we have animals, etc and what our expecations were. They "matched" us perfectly. They were given strict rules of no driving and no drinking!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

And she was just part of our family! She would do her own laundry. She skyped with her family. She liked to visit and ask us questions ( had we ever seen a buffalo ? A wolf?)

She was so thankful to be here. She had never been to Dairy Queen or Sonic. She had levi jeans ( one pair) that her mom had bought for $100. So we shopped and she bought " cheap" Levis.

There were certain activities that all if the foreign students went to do together ( went to a baseball and football game) she liked going to the ball games at the highschool.

We had hoped her siblings would qualify for the program in future years and we would host them but they didn't.

We went to Germany this summer and she came to where we were for a few days. It was wonderful! She's like a daughter to us and a sister to our daughtet and we stay in touch via email. It may nit be until she gets married one day that we see her again.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Before we hosted, there were several meetings that the host parents went to that answered all the questions we had.

 

[Shanti]

I actually think it might be fun to host a kid from another country, provided that:

a) He was an only child at home, because he'd be an only child here.
b) He was non-religious, because we aren't church-goers.
C) He wasn't allergic to cats.

If you've hosted a foreign exchange student, what was the experience like?

We hosted an exchange student from Japan when I was a young child. He was very nice, and has been in touch with us lately. It's nice to know that his life is going well. It's a great way to help someone and bond with a person from a different culture.

I think your first two conditions for an exchange student are silly (not sure if they are tongue in cheek). Obviously, the exchange student wouldn't expect the family situation or religious affiliation to be the same with the host family as at home. They know that it's their job to adjust to the new culture and the family they'll stay with, and not vice-versa. The ones who can't handle change or diversity don't choose to attend school in another country.

 

[bcla]

Really? The US accepts Honduran driver's licenses? I know they take Canadian ones, but I didn't know they were also cool with Honduras!

I do know that if you're coming from Europe, you may need an International Driver's License. (Source: A friend of a friend was visiting from the UK and needed to get one before arriving in the US for an extended stay.)

I looked it up, it apparently depends on the state...

"People who drive in the U.S. must have a valid driver's license. Some states require an International Driving Permit (IDP) from foreign nationals, in addition to a valid license from your own country. Check with the motor vehicle department of each state you will drive in for its requirements. " https://www.usa.gov/visitors-driving

Yeah - depends on the state. My state doesn't recognize the international DL. However, a licensed foreign or out of state driver must be at least 18 in California. So under an exchange student is at least 18 it would require getting a California driver license.

https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/dmv/detail/pubs/hdbk/ca_dl

Adults Visiting California
Visitors over 18 years old with a valid DL from their home state or country may drive in California without getting a California DL as long as their home state DL is valid.​

I wonder how many under 18 drivers have gotten in trouble for driving in states where and out of state/international driver license isn't valid.

I never hosted any, but there were several exchange students at my high school. I remember at least three - from Germany, Spain, and Brazil They all spoke conversational English quite well. I remember talking to one who was going through drivers ed and getting a permit in order to drive. I don't recall if he ever got it though. I remember at least one of the exchange students on our Grad Nite trip to Disneyland.

 

[bcla]

As Australian's we do not need to obtain and International Drivers Licence. Our Australian licence is perfectly acceptable. In saying that. The driving age in our state is 18 so any younger student travelling would not have a licence.

That would work in California, where out of state (including foreign) drivers must be at least 18. However, there's nothing preventing an underage visitor from going through driver education, driver training, and a drivers test. They would need proof of birth date and legal presence, which would typically be a passport and valid student visa.