Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[Mouse House Mama]

I've never even been to a wedding reception where sodas were available at all - for free or not. All but a couple I've been to have just had punch from a bowl available. And I have never been to one where a meal (sit-down or buffet) was served . It's usually just some salty nuts, some butter mints, the punch, and a cake or two.

I hate going to weddings, though. I've been to maybe 12 in my life. Maybe I'd like them more if I lived up north . I never could figure out why the average cost of weddings was so high until I joined the DIS several years ago and started reading about typical northern weddings.

Oh Honey! You need to come to our Long Island weddings! We feed you till you bust, dance till we can barely stand and drink and celebrate and eat cake! Did I forget the cordial bars and viennese tables? Weddings here are quite the event. Crazy and over the top but we love them!

 

[Doesney]

My kids birthday parties include more food and drinks then some of these examples I would never expect an invited guest to pay for anything. If I could not afford an open bar, then I would of had a dry wedding with soft drinks only. Or better yet, save until I could afford it.

 

[kpm76]

LOL- if I went to weddings like that I would hate them and not want to go either LOL!
Punch, nuts and mints- oh yummy- NOT!

I think one thing we all need to recognize is that weddings and traditions vary by region, family etc. While a cake and punch reception might not be a norm for me, I would appreciate it for what it was. Frankly, weddings in the NE, particularly NY/NJ have gotten totally out of hand. It's a keeping up with the Jones' and one bride has to outdo and spend more than the next. I'm sorry, but not every couple having $50-$75k weddings in those areas can afford them....I know several that have gone into serious debt because they had to "have it all." Didn't want people talking about them (probably on message boards..haha) The worst story was from a family member that attended a wedding on Long Island at a banquet hall type place (she described it as a wedding factory) and when the bride and groom were introduced they "rose up" from the floor. Apparently, there was an area beneath the actual reception hall and they were lifted up to make their grand entrance

 

[hentob]

Did I forget the cordial bars and viennese tables?

I know a particular bakery that makes most of its money just catering Viennese tables. Yum! The displays are beautiful

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think one thing we all need to recognize is that weddings and traditions vary by region, family etc. While a cake and punch reception might not be a norm for me, I would appreciate it for what it was. Frankly, weddings in the NE, particularly NY/NJ have gotten totally out of hand. It's a keeping up with the Jones' and one bride has to outdo and spend more than the next. I'm sorry, but not every couple having $50-$75k weddings in those areas can afford them....I know several that have gone into serious debt because they had to "have it all." Didn't want people talking about them (probably on message boards..haha) The worst story was from a family member that attended a wedding on Long Island at a banquet hall type place (she described it as a wedding factory) and when the bride and groom were introduced they "rose up" from the floor. Apparently, there was an area beneath the actual reception hall and they were lifted up to make their grand entrance

I know the hall! My friends and family call that the Bon Jovi entrance! The smoke billows in and the music is pumping and then magicall the bride and groom "rise up" from the center of the dance floor! Everytime I think of it "Livin' on a Prayer" plays in my mind!

We had a "typical" Long Island wedding ourselves. We didn't do it to keep up with the Jones'. We did it because we wanted to. We liked the place and wanted to throw an awesome party. We paid for it ourselves (cash- no debt) and to this day we would still do it exactly the same way.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know a particular bakery that makes most of its money just catering Viennese tables. Yum! The displays are beautiful

They are just heavenly! Nothing like tables and tables of desert!

 

[kpm76]

I know the hall! My friends and family call that the Bon Jovi entrance! The smoke billows in and the music is pumping and then magicall the bride and groom "rise up" from the center of the dance floor! Everytime I think of it "Livin' on a Prayer" plays in my mind!

We had a "typical" Long Island wedding ourselves. We didn't do it to keep up with the Jones'. We did it because we wanted to. We liked the place and wanted to throw an awesome party. We paid for it ourselves (cash- no debt) and to this day we would still do it exactly the same way.

YES YES YES! I forgot the smoke It was one of DH's family members that attended this wedding and she was stunned....she thought she was in the Twilight Zone. I don't mean to criticize all LI weddings. I am sure your's was lovely and many are also very nice. The difference between you and others is that you could afford it. It makes no sense to me to go into crazy debt because there is this silly expectation. Do something because you want to and can afford to.....it must be very stressful to be a LI bride these days...

 

[KristaTX]

Krista, do you like going to weddings?

My reason for not liking them is not because of the lack of food and alcohol, although that might make them more appealing. I'm just not real fond of attending formal events and ceremonies, period. And weddings just seem like they should be smaller, more intimate events to me.

 

[Quiksilvr]

I guess I didn't realize how out-of-touch I am with wedding receptions throughout the country. Yeesh... here I thought we were doing it on the cheap limiting ourselves to 120 guests and having a lunch reception instead of a dinner reception. If only I had known there were other options available. I seriously had never heard of a punch & cake reception until reading this thread. I've been to one reception that was a potluck, which I thought was pretty tacky, but I wasn't surprised... the people who threw the reception are some of the tackiest people I know.

 

[delilah]

Here in central Indiana, I am astonished if I go to a function and don't have to pay for a drink. I am not talking about weddings, in particular--I have not been to a wedding where nothing was offered to drink, but, normally, at such an event, I would drink water or coffee.

For example, at our medical society Christmas dinner, we had to pay for drinks, non-alcoholic, at the bar, whether it was water, cola or whatever. If we got it from the bar, we paid, and had to give the fellow who poured a tip besides. The kicker is that we paid $50 per couple to attend the event! But, this was before dinner--we had a glass of water with dinner, and coffee with dessert. which was included with the meal.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

YES YES YES! I forgot the smoke It was one of DH's family members that attended this wedding and she was stunned....she thought she was in the Twilight Zone. I don't mean to criticize all LI weddings. I am sure your's was lovely and many are also very nice. The difference between you and others is that you could afford it. It makes no sense to me to go into crazy debt because there is this silly expectation. Do something because you want to and can afford to.....it must be very stressful to be a LI bride these days...

Hey no offense taken. I totally agree with you. If you can't afford it then you shouldn't have it. I don't get these people who go into debt for their wedding. That is not a great way to start off life. I knew someone who's parents took out a mortgage on their home to pay for their dd's wedding! That is crazy! To each their own of course but I don't get that at all.

As for the Bon Jovi entrance- well if we had done that (we didn't btw) I would have peed myself from laughing do hard. I just find that to be the funniest thing I have ever seen. JMHO of course.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My reason for not liking them is not because of the lack of food and alcohol, although that might make them more appealing. I'm just not real fond of attending formal events and ceremonies, period. And weddings just seem like they should be smaller, more intimate events to me.

I certainly understand! I haven't been to a wedding in years, thankfully. I'll be back in that stage soon, though, since my kids and their friends are growing up.

 

[sha_lyn]

Oh had to add that niece's wedding in MI is the only one I have been to that had desserts other than the wedding cake and grooms cake. I thought that was really weird, especially since it was the only wedding cake I have ever heard of (until the DIS and food network) that wasn't a plain white or yellow cake with decorators icing. their cake had 2-3 different types of cake and filling, but they didn't even serve it. you could get a box with a piece as you left off the dessert table after the desserts were cleared off.

 

[NJDisneyGal]

"go to Helene Waite for the money."

Hahahaha! It took a minute to figure out but

 

[tink_n_pooh]

I've never even been to a wedding that didn't have a full open bar I guess it's a regional thing. Around here having a cash bar is about as tacky as tacky gets

 

[talulabelle]

DH and I just got back from a wedding where not even the soda was free. Geesh. DH had to run out an ATM during the reception just so we could have a drink with our meal!!

I've never heard of, or been to, a function where the hosts didn't at least include some sort of beverage, even if they wanted to do a cash bar.

Anyone else??????

eh, I don't know. In some areas they do cash bars. My opinion is if you can't afford an open bar, then you are inviting too many people and you should pair it down to something you can afford. Even if you don't serve alcohol and just have a soda and tea open bar. I usually see people inviting tons of people for 2 reasons, 1)to prove how many friends they have, and 2) GIFT GRAB! So no, I don't like cash bars.

However, I've seen them done at weddings where I understood...like a young couple who come from poor families, but really want to share their day with all of their family and friends. I have been to them where I understand the reasons.

And I gotta say, did your DH really NEED to go to an ATM so you could have a drink with your meal? Surely water was free? Iced tea? One does not NEED soda with a meal...Honestly, if one wants to weigh anywhere in the healthy range, once does not drink soda with meals. I expect to pay at a cash bar, I wouldn't have really thought twice about having to pay for soda...soda is not a need.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

eh, I don't know. In some areas they do cash bars. My opinion is if you can't afford an open bar, then you are inviting too many people and you should pair it down to something you can afford. Even if you don't serve alcohol and just have a soda and tea open bar. I usually see people inviting tons of people for 2 reasons, 1)to prove how many friends they have, and 2) GIFT GRAB! So no, I don't like cash bars.

However, I've seen them done at weddings where I understood...like a young couple who come from poor families, but really want to share their day with all of their family and friends. I have been to them where I understand the reasons.

And I gotta say, did your DH really NEED to go to an ATM so you could have a drink with your meal? Surely water was free? Iced tea? One does not NEED soda with a meal...Honestly, if one wants to weigh anywhere in the healthy range, once does not drink soda with meals. I expect to pay at a cash bar, I wouldn't have really thought twice about having to pay for soda...soda is not a need.

While I agree with your post I bolded because that is not true. Plenty of people drink soda and are in a healthy weight range.

 

[GraysMom]

I was at a baptism where there was open bar before dinner and then cash bar after dinner, including soft drinks. I thought it was completely tacky. Why not just cut the event short then instead of having the band play after dinner with dancing?

I would never ever pay for my child to attend a birthday party. Isn't that why you bring a gift?

A BAPTISM with an open bar and a live band ???

 

[WeCantWait]

I am from the North East and have never gone to a wedding and had to pay for anything. Every wedding has been open bar throughout the entire event.
I don't know where you have heard that it is a North East or New England thing. Not in CT at least.

Not in NY either. The only money I ever bring to a wedding is enough to tip the valet and the coatcheck.

 

[Va-bear]

I know a particular bakery that makes most of its money just catering Viennese tables. Yum! The displays are beautiful

I dont even know what that is...but somehow, it sounds like heaven. I'm like KristaTX in that most of the weddings I went to before the age of 20 were cake/nuts/punch - never any alcohol. Then, after college, I went to a "Northern" wedding - WOW, did I have fun!!!! Honestly, I like both .....the cake/punch receptions were nice because they really were ALL about the couple and the wedding. You talk to the relatives and really celebrate the couple. But, the party-type receptions are fun, fun, fun and thats nice too! (DH and I eloped, so we got neither. If we did it again I'd probably try to find a happy medium.....HEAVY buffet, w/wine and beer, but not sitdown or heavy drinks. LOTS of desserts! )

It IS fun to hear about the different customs!