Have you ever been given a gift too expensive to accept?

[PrincessKitty1]

Just wondering, since 'tis the season to chat about gifts......

I received a huge check from my MIL for my birthday a few years ago ($1000) and didn't cash it. I really just did not know what to do, I was so freaked out about it. To tell the truth, I've blocked out the memory of what I did (I think DH told MIL I was very appreciative but thought it was too much $$$, but I seriously can't remember).

Anyway, I inadvertently created a big to-do about it (apparently) by declining it, and I so wished I'd kept my mouth shut and cashed it. I know I hurt my MIL's feelings without meaning to.

Also a few years ago, a friend whoI really wasn't that close to (we worked together and had done a few things together) spoent way to much $$ on a Christmas gift for me, like $100. I was embarrassed. I'd spent about $25 on a cute gift for her. I did accept her gift and loved it but felt kind of bad.

 

[sunnyday123]

Just wondering, since 'tis the season to chat about gifts......

I received a huge check from my MIL for my birthday a few years ago ($1000) and didn't cash it. I really just did not know what to do, I was so freaked out about it. To tell the truth, I've blocked out the memory of what I did (I think DH told MIL I was very appreciative but thought it was too much $$$, but I seriously can't remember).

Anyway, I inadvertently created a big to-do about it (apparently) by declining it, and I so wished I'd kept my mouth shut and cashed it. I know I hurt my MIL's feelings without meaning to.

Also a few years ago, a friend whoI really wasn't that close to (we worked together and had done a few things together) spoent way to much $$ on a Christmas gift for me, like $100. I was embarrassed. I'd spent about $25 on a cute gift for her. I did accept her gift and loved it but felt kind of bad.

When I was 17 and my brother was 10, he bought my Christmas gift at his school. They had a little thing where parents donated stuff they no longer wanted ( junk!) and the kids bought it. He got me a clip on Garfield who's face was bright red for some reason. Another time he gave me costume jewelry that was a horse pin because he knew I loved horses. Someone may have paid him to take that one.

I've also had family members write me a check for $5k. Each time the gifts were warmly accepted and appreciated, because it was something the giver could give and wanted to give, and knew would make me happy.
Not to make you feel bad, but your MIL probably wanted to see you do something for yourself that would make you happy.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Nope. Generally when I get more expensive gifts, they are from people who can afford it.

One guy can afford to spend $100. A guy with ten times the amount of money can afford to spend $1000. Someone else spends $10, because they have almost nothing. If you look at the percent of their income, they all spent the same amount. And none of it really matters.

It is the thought that counts, not the gift. Regardless of what someone spent, I accept it and thank them. And I'm always happy that someone cared enough to think of me, regardless of what they spent.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Nope. Generally when I get more expensive gifts, they are from people who can afford it.

It is the thought that counts, not the gift. Regardless of what someone spent, I accept it and thank them. And I'm always happy that someone cared enough to think of me, regardless of what they spent.

ITA!! You saved me some typing.!!

 

[LeeLeeLuvsDisney]

Nope. Generally when I get more expensive gifts, they are from people who can afford it.

One guy can afford to spend $100. A guy with ten times the amount of money can afford to spend $1000. Someone else spends $10, because they have almost nothing. If you look at the percent of their income, they all spent the same amount. And none of it really matters.

It is the thought that counts, not the gift. Regardless of what someone spent, I accept it and thank them. And I'm always happy that someone cared enough to think of me, regardless of what they spent.

I agree. I have had no trouble accepting any gifts, from a plastic kid's toy ring all the way up to tens of thousands of dollars. I am beyond pleased when someone shows they care for me (and not just by giving gifts!)

 

[Soarin08]

I got $500 from my mom's parents for my high school graduation. I was very uncomfortable accepting the money but I did, mainly because my mom made me. I just feel weird taking large sums of money from people as gifts.

 

[pfishgirl]

Everytime my husband buys me a piece of jewelery I cringe cause I know it's Very expensive.. I got a $4,000 ring because it matched my $10,000 necklace and earrings..

Now, I love my husband very very much and asked him not to spend so much on me, but his reason... " You never buy yourself anything unless it's on sale" Which is so totally true.. I'd rather spend my money on my Husband and Son. Even our Cat gets more things then myself but I just can't help it..

 

[TandT]

No, not at all. Most time of the time when someone gives a gift like that, NOT accepting it makes them feel BAD. There are people out there that feel really GOOD inside when they GIVE to someone. If they didn't have it to give, they wouldn't. I'm one of those people who LOVE to give to others...in excess. It makes me feel GOOD Giving is better than recieving sometimes

 

[SomedayI'llBe]

For my HS graduation last summer, my grandmother gave me $1000. My mouth fell open. It was a huge sum, and my dad tried to talk her out of it. I kind of wish he had, but I ended up investing it. Now, I've got some money in the bank for when I'm a starving actress living in a box.

 

[DisnyMama]

About 7 years ago I started seeing this man that I had known in my apartment building for a few years. We were both single parents but it took me about 4 years before I was ready to date. He discovered that just a few days prior it had been my birthday and so he gives me a very nice gold bracelet. This gift made me very uncomfortable as it was too much, too soon. All kinds of flags were going up. Sure enough, he has me over for dinner and proposes to me-oh no- not in the sense you would think but more like a business proposition. He tells me he wants me to be his girlfriend and for us to join households and that he makes $$$ amount per year and with my income however much it is..if we join together we can buy a house and blah, blah...... I couldn't get out of there fast enough and back to my apartment. I was shaking my head the whole way back. Two days later I returned the bracelet and said thank you but no thanks and this relationship was not going to work for me.

 

[Northstar]

Yes. I used to teach in a private boarding school. Some of the students' families were rolling in it, and I think they just didn't really get it that teachers can't take expensive gifts from students they have to give a grade to. Or maybe they did get it, and wanted to bribe me.

So... I used to take any expensive giftola for department fundraising... we'd put it in the school's yearly auction night. I'd write a sweet letter to the family thanking them for their generous donation to the department.

I got a few puzzled responses to that, but mostly it worked. I got to keep my job and not feel bought when it came to marking time!

 

[NMAmy]

No. My FIL gives large gifts--it makes him happy, it makes us happy, and he can afford it and does it for all of his kids. I don't feel weird about it at all.

 

[crz4mm2]

nope. If you get one this year, I'll take it

 

[Kimickey]

Wow I'm one of those who loves to give. However I've been toggling with this same question for the past 6 months. I gave back a very expensive Christmas gift to a friend a couple of months ago. Long story short we were somewhat seeing each other for the past 2.5 years. I broke it off back in June. In 2006 he ask me what wanted for Christmas. I really didn't want anything but he insisted. So I said hey I really need a digital camera (something small I can carry in my pocket around the parks). Well a couple of days later he came by my house and the Sony TV I had purchased for my ex-husband several years prior went on the fritz. He walks into my house one day and we were talking in front of the TV, he then says "ahhh I know what I'm going to get you for Christmas". I told him flat out NO, it was not his responsibility to purchase me something of that caliber. We had an on going arguement for two weeks because I refused! He wanted to know why? I told him that because we were somewhat seeing each other, that I didn't want anything to be held over my head as leverage or a reason to come back to my house just incase in the future we didn't make it. With all of that said he still insisted and bought me a 42 inch Plasma.

Let me tell you, our relationship deteriorated. I thought I had a friend in him turns out maybe I was mistaken (that's a long story in itself). So back in June when I told him that I had, enough of his B.S. because of the things he was saying and doing to me (he's one of those guys who has trust issues with women). I kindly asked him to come pick up the TV and the other gifts he bought me through out the time we were "somewhat seeing each other". I wasn't mean or nasty about it; I just drew my line in the sand with him.

He was hurt (I feel bad that I hurt someone like that) but I couldn't continue to let things go the way they were going. To this day he will not talk to me, I've tried to talk and get things out in the open so that we both can live without thinking the worst, but he refuses. I'm the bad guy.

To be honest, I know the thought counts when people give big gifts or even gifts at all. But in some cases you have to wonder what is the persons motive behind it. The TV was too much and it was the topic of conversation and shouldn't have...it got held over my head in the worst way...trust me!

 

[diznygirl]

I've been know to spend too much on a gift for a friend, but it truly IS the thought that counts. If it's something I know they really really want but would never buy for themselves then I do it cuz I know it will make them happy. I do it mostly for the children of my friends now - things they know their parents wouldn't buy them. I don't do it all the time - only when there is that one special thing.

 

[DebIreland]

I seem to get the whole gift thing wrong on a regular basis. An old friend of mine who I rarely see anymore still gives my children gifts for Christmas which is really nice of her and I do the same. We don't even know each other's kids, it's just something we do. Two years running I got her two kids more or less token gifts - mini boxes of lego one year (worth about 5 euro / 6 dollars) and little soft toys another year - those 2 years she gave my kids book vouchers for 30 euro (40 dollars) each and chocolates one year and really big expensive toys another year - including a bike! So I learnt my lesson and the third year I gave her kids quite big gifts - she was mortified cause she said she felt she had been overdoing it the other years and just gave mine some chocolates that time. But it really is the thought that counts - it's just funny how we always get it wrong. Same with a friend of mine - two years ago she gave me expensive pottery whilst I gave her some soaps so the next year I gave her a gorgeous scarf and gloves set from an exclusive shop and she gave me some lottery tickets.

I don't think I'll ever get it right.

Oh I almost forgot the best one - when in Disney World in '06 we met up with a couple who we (barely) knew from the Tourguide Mike forums. They arrived, presents in tow for our kids - t-shirts, books, sweets etc. etc. Oh good Lord, I had nada, zilch, nothing, hadn't even considering getting them a gift. So I bought them each a sticky bun in that little cafe next to Akershus in Norway.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

One year my SILs boyfriend gave my DH a $500 signed Derek Jeter bat.... Then he regifted me some stupid ornament that had orignally been for SIL. Can't wait to see what we (?) get this year!

 

[Misty89]

Nope

My father used to give us $1500 each christmas. since he lost a fortune in the stock market, he has stopped doing that. I wish i was older and more mature then.....if i had that extra $$, we would have been going to WDW at christmas as our gift.

 

[iggbees]

my best friend gave me a 300$ burberry scarf that she had received as a gift from her boss, wore once and washed and said she didn't want it anymore. i had a hard time taking it from her, but she insisted that i did because she didn't like it and wouldn't wear it. she's not materialistic at all, so it's not surprising to me that she didn't want it. after a pressing the scarf with an iron between a towel, it was as good as new. it's my favorite scarf.

 

[java]

When I was in 4th grade Richard something stole a diamond pin from his mother and gave it to me. It was a huge flower.
My mom made me give it back. Telling me(10 years old) "You don't want to owe a boy that much"