Have you ever been bullied at work?

[Conversationist]

There has been a ton of stories about the problems of bullies in schools now days. It appears that most kids are bullied at one time or another, especially in middle school.

Move forward to the adult world and the workplace. It seems like the same kids that bullied others in middle school would grow up and want to bully others in a work setting.

Types of workplace bullying:

Verbal attacks
Exclusion from a lunch crowd you want to be in
Rumors
False charges about your work
People talking about you behind your back
Others acting superior to you
Performance appraisals that are totally negative and subjective

Are you a victim of workplace bullies? What have you done about them?

 

[Pam]

You should read the thread about this very situation on this board.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Change the word politics, C, in your previous thread here, for the current one, bullies, here in this thread, and you probably have your answer.

 

[sweet angel]

I'll answer this. I used to work at a small law firm. Three attorneys (father, son and partner). There were also three secretaries -- me and 2 others. The senior partner was the bully.

When I left my prior job to work there, I was warned that he was nasty. I didn't believe it. Well, he was way nastier than I could ever imagine, and not just to the secretaries...to his son and to his partner.

His partner ended up having a nervous breakdown and coming in during the night to pick up his stuff and quit. I quit on a Friday afternoon after receiving my paycheck -- without giving notice -- I just left a note.

Found out later that his prior partner had thrown himself through a plate glass window.

 

[CapitanCook]

As a cook, I can answer a conditional "yes". I think for the most part people grow up and learn to be fully functional adults, but I do remember an incident in which I was still new at a job and I guess I was pissing off a co-worker, so he used his seniority to give me a hard time. It was hard because we were directly working together. It was a pizza joint in which we were working together on the same pies!! So he would give me orders to go get additional back-up toppings before it was necessary and also use his seniority to leave early leaving me to clean up. Doesn't sound like much, because it wasn't much. Actually, the kitchen manager observed us one day and took us both aside. I don't know if this counts, but it is as close as I come to being bullied at work.

 

[momof1princess]

my former boss used to bully me, to an extent...most of the time he was a great guy, but the last few months i worked for him, he and his wife started having frequent arguments before he'd leave for work in the morning, and he'd come in all pi**ed off, slamming doors, growling at everyone and treating me like i was a moron, when in fact, i did EVERYTHING, even packed his briefcase for court. in the last year i worked for him his personality changed completely. i assume he was very unhappy at home, as he seemed to spend more time at the office each week-i finally reached a point i just couldn't handle the yelling and leaving work in tears anymore, so i told him one thursday that the next day would be my last. i really didn't have any choice anyway-my MIL was taking care of HER MIL and she'd just informed me she couldn't care for my DD (who was then almost 2) anymore. i'm still a SAHM 6 years later, and don't miss my old job one bit.

Donya
*wishes i could rewind to last week so i could be back in WDW*

 

[Free4Life11]

I quit one job because of "rumors" going around about me. I wasn't going to deal with that crap so I said screw it and left. I know I shouldn't give them the pleasure, but why stay and deal with that garbage? I got a higher paying job with more hours. People need to mind their own dang business sometimes.

 

[barkley]

YES! i am retired in my early 40's due to it (migranes and anxiety attacts evolved into 2 strokes). i worked my way up through a government agency and became a supervisor. as a supervisor one of my responsibilities was to review work of not only my staff, but to review upon receipt work of other supervisor's staff (that had been reviewed by thier supervisors prior to it arriving in my unit). through this job duty i became the target of anger by some of my peers (when i returned a case for corrections of errors they had not caught it reflected on their job performance/evaluations). when i wrote evaluations or disciplinary actions on my own staff i became the target of anger on at least one employee's part.

it is interesting that the concept of "hostile work enviornment" applys largly only to situations wherein an individual holds "employment power" over another (that is to say-if an employee accuses a supervisory person it has greater validity than peer to peer or employee to supervisor).

in any case-i documented and reported all instances, filed appropriate police reports, and protected myself and my family. unfortunatly the damage was already done. i do take comfort in knowing that my experiences educated my staff in how to "technicly" address a similar situation-i learned that shortly after i left, one of my staff experienced a similar situation (ironicly with the same individual i had) and her documentation along with mine led to appropriate action being taken.

 

[Disney Doll]

If you knew me, you'd know that I am not the type who gives off the aura that I would tolerate being bullied, therefore it does not happen.

 

[barkley]

If you knew me, you'd know that I am not the type who gives off the aura that I would tolerate being bullied, therefore it does not happen.

i don't belive an individual that is victimized nesc. gives off an "aura of toleration".

in one of the situations i was involved in the hostile individual was found (after myself and others i worked with filed our own police reports) to have an extensive arrest/conviction history including: domestic abuse, terrorist threats, and assault and battery upon several individuals as well as police officers. i believe that if we gave off any aura-by virtue of our taking it upon ourselves to pursue accountability on the individuals as well as our employer's part -it was one of zero tolerance.

i feel i should add-in the vicinity of the area we worked in (and in related job fields) 4 individuals were killed by members of the public/employees they supervised in less than a 2 year span. these individuals were in the course of their daily job duties and had repeatedly advised their superiors of hostility and threats made against them by the 2 individuals who ultimatly took their lives. unfortuantly their employer's regarding this as "part of the job...having to deal with difficult people".

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Change the word politics, C, in your previous thread here, for the current one, bullies, here in this thread, and you probably have your answer.

LOL Dan! Why do people still answer these posts?

 

[Wishing on a star]

YES,

I was once the object/victim of a bully in the workplace... (unfortunately, not everyone outgrows this when they become an adult!!!)

In my situation, I was able to document everything, and present it to a higher-up who seemed like they might take it seriously. The other person was soon fired.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wanted to add, after seeing some of the above post...

AN AURA OF TOLERATION!!!!!!


Ohhhh jeez, the victim is never the problem... Bullies are bullies because they have some deep seated psycological and emotional problems!!!! Just like in the schools, instead of stopping the bullying, they blame it on the child who suffers.

Sorry, but I am one who is NOT often bullied. (as my Bully quickly learned) I agree with DD above, I am NOT a walking doormat. (Quite the opposit) And, even if I were, that is completely meaningless and invalid!!!

Sure, bullys do look for somebody that they can likely dominate. But, this may have everything to do with things like 'seniority' 'pecking order', etc... NOT that the other person is a walking doormat, with an AURA OF TOLERANCE. Just like kids look to bully kids who are younger, smaller, less intelligent, etc... SAD!!!

Jeez...

 

[chrissyk]

I wouldn't say that I was bullied, but I was intimidated into not speaking up about something that I knew was wrong. I'm pretty sure that my boss (who was a decent guy) was intimidated into doing the same to me. I quit my job soon thereafter.

There was a HUGE (like tenfold) accounting discrepancy showing up on our vendor invoices. It was happening again and again. I brought it up, and suddenly it was no longer our responsibility to review our own group's bills. Someone was covering up for the vendor, who was totally on-the-take. I still have no idea how this situation was resolved, or if it ever was. FWIW, my boss (who told me not to bring it up further) also quit, even before I did.

 

[barkley]

Wanted to add, after seeing some of the above post...

AN AURA OF TOLERATION!!!!!!


Ohhhh jeez, the victim is never the problem... Bullies are bullies because they have some deep seated psycological and emotional problems!!!! Just like in the schools, instead of stopping the bullying, they blame it on the child who suffers.

Sorry, but I am one who is NOT often bullied. (as my Bully quickly learned) I agree with DD above, I am NOT a walking doormat. (Quite the opposit) And, even if I were, that is completely meaningless and invalid!!!

Sure, bullys do look for somebody that they can likely dominate. But, this may have everything to do with things like 'seniority' 'pecking order', etc... NOT that the other person is a walking doormat, with an AURA OF TOLERANCE. Just like kids look to bully kids who are younger, smaller, less intelligent, etc... SAD!!!

Jeez...

i think you may have misinterpreted what i posted. the post i had quoted said they (the poster) did not give off the aura of being someone who would tolerate being bullied (and therefore did not get bullied). i responded that an individual who is victimized does NOT have an "aura of tolerance". i.e. something that says to people "threaten me, abuse me, treak me like dirt" and welcomes (and somehow excuses) this type of treatment.

there are sick, predatory people in this world who get their kicks making other people miserable both physicaly and mentaly. if a consenting adult openly solicits mental and/or physical pain from another consenting adult they are a masochist (fine, both parties are consentual). however, if someone receives this treatment from an individual unsolicited they are a victim.

people have the right to work in a hostile free work environment-making excuses for any type of hostility in the workplace facilitates this behaviour to continue.

just my opinion.

 

[Stitchfans]

I won't go into detail, but yes I am dealing with it right now.

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

Yes - and over something so stupid! She wanted me to protest and fight with her and instead I played it cool and ignored her for three years - she eventually left and I showed my superiors that I could handle her without getting petty. By the time she left, I felt like people thought I was the sane one and she was the idiot so I am glad I didn't get in an all out war with her (like my personality would normally dictate...)

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey Barkley,

I think we are both confused here!

I can see where your post mentions superior/subordinate issues.... And, I can see how you might have thought my post was kind of disagreeing with your post. But, I was not!!! This is NOT always the case. It can be be co-workers! (My personal example was a co-worker.. who just happened to have a bit more seniority.. I was the new-guy)

The idea of my post is that I was very strongly disagreeing with the idea that the object/victim of a bully asks for it by an "aura of toleration".

That was my point of disagreement.

Your post was very descriptive and informative on the topic!!!

 

[chyam]

Change the word politics, C, in your previous thread here, for the current one, bullies, here in this thread, and you probably have your answer.

Dan..........you are one sharp cookie! I thought I had seen basically the same thing awhile back..........but perhaps "Q " can be of some support!