Hate to do this, but have a topic about abortion...

[auntpolly]

I really don't want to get into the abortion debate except to say to Babar - I felt for you when I read your post. I've been through it with a friend and it was definitely one of my top ten worst experiences. God bless you for being there for your friend.

And I'd also like to say -- isn't it cute when college students are so young and think they know everything. Honestly it's so adorable!

 

[chobie]

I couldn't blame Lindsay if she chose not to come back and post her feelings. Seems there's a few quite ready to pounce on her for what she might say. As for me, it disturbs and depresses me a great deal as well to hear anyone say they are going to have an abortion.

I believe life begins at conception....HUMAN life. An embryo is completely human....not completely formed yet (although essentially completely formed by 8 weeks or so).

Just as someone would be sickened by the death/killing of a 2 month old/3 year old/whatever, the death/killing of an unborn child affects me in the same manner. This does not make me some militant psycho who wants women's rights smashed down and brought back to the dark ages.

For those of you who keep saying "Stop trying to shove your beliefs down my thought"....etc. etc..........If I feel that abortion is akin to murder, then why on earth SHOULD I stop trying to prevent it??? Why would I NOT try to let people know there are alternatives? Why would I NOT try to let women know what abortion really is?

If you sttod by watching someone being beaten on the side of the road and did nothing to stop it, I would not be real impressed with your lack of action. IMO, my sitting back and doing nothing in regards to abortion would be the same thing.

But, you're okay with sitting back an letting a woman die? Who made you the judge? Even if one can argue that society needs to make the decision, then it makes no sense for society to choose a potential for life over an actual life.

 

[phillybeth]

IJust as someone would be sickened by the death/killing of a 2 month old/3 year old/whatever, the death/killing of an unborn child affects me in the same manner. This does not make me some militant psycho who wants women's rights smashed down and brought back to the dark ages.

Kristi how do you feel about the stiuation that Jenny finds herself in? Two forms of birth control, a woman with serious life-threatening illnesses that require major teratogenic drugs and doctors who say that she and the baby will not survive if she continues the pregnancy. Who is more important? The fetus, Jenny, her kids who would be devestated to lose their mother, her husband who would lose his spouse and be left to raise 3 kids on his own? THESE are the situations that abortion was legalized for in my mind.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

But, you're okay with sitting back an letting a woman die? Who made you the judge? Even if one can argue that society needs to make the decision, then it makes no sense for society to choose a potential for life over an actual life.

No, I didn't say that, did I?

 

[elliemae1192]

6 time momma, I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm a three time momma myself and even though I got preg with the oldest while in high school, I chose not to abort and he is such a blessing.

My point is that you can't take the option of abortion away from just some and only make it available to those who REALLY need it such as in rape cases or health of the mother cases. Who would get to decide who qualified for one? If you were raped or knew you would die and leave your six children motherless, would you want some government official holding your fate in his hands?

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Several years ago, they blew up a clinic at the end of my street. I live in a residential neighborhood. This fall I took my 9yo to a very low key, family oriented, indoor politcal event called Moms for Kerry. Loads of children there. So were the people with fetus signs and bull horns. My son asked who they were and why they were there. I told him they were insane and bad people that were trying to scare him. That is exactly who they are.
You really stepped up for your friend. Thank you for being such a great woman!

I never understood why supposedly "pro life" people who were against "murder" resorted to killing to try and prove their point. How sad for anyone whose lives were lost or effected by the bombing of the clinic.

We get them around here sometimes with their signs. The signs make me sick. There is no reason why these loons should be allowed to wave around graphic photos like that in front of small children. My little neice had nightmares for a week after some of these people were waving graphic signs by her school...sickos.

And for the record, I'm very much against late term abortion. But there are other ways to prove your point than frightening schoolchildren and harrassing people at clinics. Better sex ed. so there may be less unwanted pregnancies to be aborted in the first place would be a good place to start.

To the OP. I think you are a wonderful friend and your friend is lucky to have you.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Kristi how do you feel about the stiuation that Jenny finds herself in? Two forms of birth control, a woman with serious life-threatening illnesses that require major teratogenic drugs and doctors who say that she and the baby will not survive if she continues the pregnancy. Who is more important? The fetus, Jenny, her kids who would be devestated to lose their mother, her husband who would lose his spouse and be left to raise 3 kids on his own? THESE are the situations that abortion was legalized for in my mind.

I can see where she would make the decision she did, however if I were in the situation, I can answer I would do things differently. The doctors did not tell her she would die. They said her life was at risk. Obviously, that would scare most people into choosing abortion.

Persoanlly, I would seek out the advice of a high risk perinatologist. I would take complications as they came and deal with them. I would hopefully be able to carry to 24-25 weeks and then deliver if need be. If there came a point, where my life was imminently in danger, then at that point, I would do what needed to be done to save my life, but only when I was in imminent danger.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I
Persoanlly, I would seek out the advice of a high risk perinatologist.

Been there,done that... A high risk perinatologist is one of the doctors who put in writing that my life is at risk

I would take complications as they came and deal with them​

There is no *dealing with* my heart if it just stops beating due to the Cardiomyopathy..DO you even understand what that is and what it entails?

Do you understand that just 1 of the 10 medications I take often causes fetal death in the second or third trimester.

 

[robinb]

BUT, I understand and respect that others won't believe what I believe. That is why I am pro-choice. Someone I am close to chose to have one recently. She does not believe what I believe. I went with her to do this. I was there to hold her hand and take her home afterwards and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

You are a true friend. My tag sums up my feelings on the subject: "Every child an wanted child".

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I really hesitate to post this as it is so painful for me right now.. I am 9 weeks pregnant and I'm having an abortion..It was supposed to be tomorrow. I have AIDS,Cardiomyopathy.History of Mini-strokes and CHF.. I take BCP'S and use condoms..This was not planned..This in fact was a horribly dreaded scenario for me..One that I have had nightmares about for years..The kicker.. My SO is set up to have a Vasectomy in late March..We had been planning this vasectomy for a few months now
I simply can't carry a pregnancy.period.. I risk sudden caridac arrest ,stroke etc..Not to mention the fact that I take various teterogenic drugs that would make it likely no child would survive a pregnancy anyway.
I've known for over a month now..I've tried everything,but as sick as I am i have to have this done in a very controlled setting. I have medicare and Tricare insurances..Neither one will pay for it,even thought they have had 3 doctors telling them that my life is at risk.. Because of my high risk position and all of the precautions they have to take with me this will cost thousands of dollars out of my own pocket.. It's looking like 3000-4000$ minimum that must be paid within 6 months.. My Disney trip is not looking likely at all now.
This has been Hell..In 14 years of living with AIDS nothing compares to what I'm going through right now..I've been put through the ringer with doctors,insurance etc.. I've been told I can't have on unless I pay up front and then they say I can make payments and then they change their minds again.
I can't stop crying...I think I've cried more in the last month than I have in the last 14 years. It sure the heck isn't easy and it's not something that's done lightly.I know it's something that will haunt me for the rest of my life

Jenny, you are very strong and very brave.

 

[elliemae1192]

See that's the thing. That would be your choice to make. Jenny made a different choice.

Pro choice does not mean pro abortion. I personally would not consider abortion an option unless I was in a situation like Jenny, but that's where the choice part comes in.

 

[elliemae1192]

Jenny, I just have to say, I read your homepage last night and I think you are such an inspiration. I think we can all say "there but for the grace of God go I". My first husband who I only married because I was pregnant cheated on me constantly and I'm lucky he didn't bring home something. I'm so glad you've told your story, because you are exactly the kind of person who can put a human face to this disease. You will be constantly in my prayers.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I personally would not consider abortion an option unless I was in a situation like Jenny, but that's where the choice part comes in.

And you never know until your there..If you have never been lying in a bed drowning in your own bodily fluids like I was,you just don't know
Until you've been sitting on a couch unable to speak or move the right side of your body you don't know.

My heart is enlarged.It doesn't pump properly.. Blood can pool in it and cause a clot.. That clot can go straight to my brain or lungs and cause another stroke.. When you are pregnant you bloat,retain water,large amounts of water.. Do somone whose heart does not pump right that fluid pools in the lungs and you are literally drowing in your own fluids..I've been there and it's not fun...This happens to me on a regular basis when I'm NOT pregnant..There is NO DOUBT that it will happen as pregnancy progressess
They do this test where they press on an artery in my neck and leg to see if fluid is pooling..It's already happening and I'm only 9 weeks along.. It's already effecting my breathing and i'monly 9 weeks along

 

[snoopy]

I don't understand the logic of those who are anti choice, either, Babar. My feeling has always been, if you don't want an abortion, don't have one. And that every pregnancy is very specific. The only person completely familiar with its circumstances is the woman who is pregnant. That's why she and she alone, in consultation with her doctors, her loved ones, and anyone else she cares to consult, should have absolute sovereign control over what happens to her body.

As far as people protesting, etc., I'm not sure what they think they are accomplishing. I do know that all the protesting in the world won't stop women from having abortions, nor will making abortions illegal stop women from having abortions. Having said that, though, I respect the right for peaceful protest on either side.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

See that's the thing. That would be your choice to make. Jenny made a different choice.

Pro choice does not mean pro abortion. I personally would not consider abortion an option unless I was in a situation like Jenny, but that's where the choice part comes in.

I agree completely. 6_time_Momma has a right to make her own choice. She does not have the right to make yours or mine or Jenny's.

Personally I'm praying for I'M GONNA BE 40.

Jenny, I just sent you another PM. I'd like to add, I admire you more than I can say.

To the OP, you are a true friend.

 

[Teejay32]

Ok, this issue is an emotional one for me.

Just so you're not the only one out there, I had one too at 17. I was underage and went out of state for it, my parents never knew until years later. I'm not consumed by guilt though, guilt is not the first, second or third thing that comes to mind. Even if I was tempted that way, I'm positive the responsible party doesn't sit up nights worrying about it, so it's the absolute last thing I'd let myself do. I closed the book on it and went on with my life.

I felt guilty about considering it when pregnant with DD, being told she had brain cycts and there was a risk of her being born terminally ill or seriously deformed, or both. Totally different scenario, and it may make no sense to anyone else but this was "my" child-to-be, and I could never have gone through with it then. Glad I made that decision too, but also glad, as always, that there was a choice. And I still feel guilty sometimes. Go figure.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

And I'd also like to say -- isn't it cute when college students are so young and think they know everything. Honestly it's so adorable!

Sarcasm doesn't become you AP. Sometimes its the young who lead us old fogeys in the way to go. Wisdom isn't always earned.

 

[JennyMominRI]

. They said her life was at risk. Obviously, that would scare most people into choosing abortion.

.

I'm sorry to keep going on..Just to clarify..That was what was put on the forms..The tricare form specifically require the attending pshycian to write that *the life of the mother is at risk*..The forms don't go into specifics about how high that risk is..
I was told that my life was at risk when I was pregnant with my DD..I chose not to abort.
This is nt even close..There is very little wiggle room..There is very little chance that either me or a child would survive.. In fact there is very little chance that I would even make it through my second trimester. There is very little chance that the fetus would make it through my second trimester seeing how I take a high dosage of
fosinopril?
Do not take fosinopril if you are pregnant or could become pregnant during treatment. When used during the second and third trimesters of pregnancy, fosinopril can cause injury to, and even death of, the developing baby. Notify your doctor immediately if you think you might be pregnant.


What this particular meds does(along with atenolol) is try to keep me from CHF,from drowing in my own bodily fluids..It rids me of built up fluids,meaning that it will keep the placenta from maintaining healthy levels of fluid.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

..DO you even understand what that is and what it entails?

Yes, I do, but thanks for asking. I also know cardiac arrest could happen any time, not just during pregnancy. I also know many women with cardiomyopathy have had healthy pregnancies.

Do you understand that just 1 of the 10 medications I take often causes fetal death in the second or third trimester.

Yup, understand that, too, thanks. Been there myself when I became pregnant one week after stopping a course of Accutane.

I certainly don't expect anyone to agree with me. And, I don't ever expect abortion to be completley illegal. But, I do have hopes that someday, there will be extreme limitations.

 

[njcarita]

No woman should be forced to die for her unborn child. Period.

my mother had to make that choice with me--40 years ago and choose me-

thankfully we both survived.

after giving birth to 3 bueatiful and healthy children along with mourning 2 miscarriages.

i would never be FORCED to die for my unborn- I pray i would do it willingly- the same way i would give my life for any of my 3 other children.

God willing I would never have to face that horrible situation-
but that unborn childs only chance for life would be ME- its mother-
He will NEVER have another chance at living-
and i do not value my life as worth more than my childs- quite the opposite- i've lived and enjoyed life that child hasn't

if i died my other childrens would be able to survive with out me