6_Time_Momma said:
You can't seriously tell me that you don't think there are women out there who have abortions and don't have any qualms whatsoever about them. I believe that there is quite a high number.
Like Snoopy said, I imagine that many women agonize over what is for them a very painful decision and qo on to question themselves for years about the choice they made.
However, I know that 6 Time Momma is right to a certain degree, also. I'm sure there are many women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy, make the decision to have an abortion, do it, and go on with their lives knowing that they made the right decision for them - no guilt, no lingering trauma, etc.
I feel reasonably confident saying that because I'm one of them. In all the abortion threads in the many years since I became a member here, I've never told anyone that. Not because I think a made a wrong choice or I feel bad about it, but because it's a personal decision and one I didn't feel the need to hash out on an internet board. For some reason, though, I feel like I need to speak up here.
I was 22 years old and a senior in college. I was set to graduate in two months and head off to graduate school all the way across the country. I'd worked very hard to get into a good program and I was thrilled about the prosepct of everything my life held. The guy involved was also a senior. We had been dating about three months. I liked him a lot, but we both knew we were going our separate ways after graduation. We had it all planned. That all changed when my period was late and I took a pregnancy test that came back positive.
I was 22 years old and I had been sexually active since I was 18, my freshman year in college. I had been on the pill the whole time and I took them religiously. I never missed one. I was educated about birth control, etc. I knew I couldn't take antibiotics, knew to take them at the same time, and alll of that. I had done all the research. My getting pregnant was not the result of being uneducated or stupid, it was just one of those freak things. I was one of the 2% or whatever.
The guy I was involved with was very sweet. He said he would do whatever I wanted him to do. He offered to marry me, even though it would mean giving up a prestigious grad school acceptance of his own. He was relieved, though, I'm sure when I suggested an abortion. We both decided, with very little drama, that it was the best solution for us. Yes, we were scared, sad, and nervous - but we were sure we were making the right decision for us. He called and made the appointment for me, went with me, and stayed with me afterwards. When it was over, I didn't feel guilty or bad - I just felt relieved.
A few months later we both graduated and went our separate ways. I moved across the country, away from everything and everyone I'd ever known and I jumped head first into the rest of my life. I've never felt bad about my choice. I've never lain awake at night second guessing it. I've never been eaten up with nagging guilt over it. I didn't look at babies and wonder "what if". I knew I did the best thing for me, and I'm so grateful I had the option to do it safely - because, honestly, if I hadn't had that choice, I would have looked into other more risky options. Now, 10 years later, I still think I made the right choice and I would make the same choice again.
In the span of the last 10 years, I've had one abortion, one miscarriage, and one baby born very prematurely. The way I handled each of those events, and the way I feel about them looking back, is shaped by the totally unique situations surrounding them They were three very different and separate events that came at three totally different times in my life. The way I felt about my body and my choices/decisions after each was totally independent of the others.
Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long. I just felt I had to jump in. I'm not a cold, callous, or awful person. Anyone who knows me will testify to that. However, I don't feel guily about the abortion that I had. So, I just wanted to point out that, yes, there are people who choose abortion and manage to go on without being weighed down by guilt or agony - but that doesn't mean they're monsters. They're probably women just like me, who know they made the right choice for their lives and their bodies - women you work with, women who live next door, women you sit with at your kid's soccer games, women in your family.
Everyone's experiences with pregnancy in general, and with abortion, are so totally different and unique. Everyone brings their own beliefs, background, etc. to the situation. You can't compare how one woman handles things to how someone else might handle things. There are just too many variables. You can't say, "This is what I did, so this is what you should do, too." or "This is what I would do, so this is what you should do." What's the point? You're not me and I'm not you.
Now, I've got to hit submit before I change my mind.
Babar, you are a wonderful person! Your friend is very, very lucky to have someone like you! 
