Has The Dis Turned Into This Millenium's "Magic 8 Ball"?

[FayeW]

Warning: Rant to follow.

Everyday when I read the 'boards I am astounded by the number of posts asking what people should do, think, or feel about any number of topics. Many are the WWYD? variety,(looking for advice and opinions, that I can see) but alot are "should I be upset", "should I be offended". I mean if you are, you are; why do you need to ask total strangers if it's ok to feel that way??? Some of this stuff is simple, basic, everyday stuff, but sometimes it is medical advice and I think "Man, get off the boards and go to emergency, don't ask us!!"

Is this the state of the world today, that we are incapable of making decisions (and owning them)? Are we that afraid of using our own judgement?

 

[Marseeya]

Sheesh.

It's just conversation. You know, chit chat.

 

[Maleficent13]

You never asked a friend her opinion on any situation in your life? Never said, "Is this a good color for me?" Never said, "My boss turned me down for a promotion and I don't know what to do now." Just made all your own decisions without ever verbalizing any thoughts, doubts, fears, or anything to anyone?

I applaud your confidence. I really do. But most of us do like a little validation now and then. Or even an honest opinion on whether we may have chosen the right path or even perhaps overreacted. Sometimes some outside perspective is a welcome thing.

JMHO, YMMV.

 

[bananiem]

I think Marseeya's right on some posts. Take for instance my poll on "How do you like your steak". I am not going to change how I order mine just because the majority of Dis-er's like theirs a certain way. It was just chit-chat.
For some other posts I think the OP's know that their colsest friends and relatives will tell them what they want to hear, instead of being honest with them. Here we can be honest and tell them what we think because for the most part we're anonymous and don't have to worry about them being mad at us.
And some posters don't have the self-esteem it takes to make a decision for themselves.

 

[FayeW]

If you read the OP post CAREFULLY, you will see that I DID say I understood the WWYD posts (looking for advice and opinions). Of course I ask friends, family and actual people I know for advice!

I DON'T get the "how should I feel", "should I be worried", "I'm having symptoms of a stroke but I'll ask my disfriends instead of a medical professional" posts.

 

[happybratpack]

For some other posts I think the OP's know that their colsest friends and relatives will tell them what they want to hear, instead of being honest with them. Here we can be honest and tell them what we think because for the most part we're anonymous and don't have to worry about them being mad at us.

ITA. I've come here recently with some personal stuff going on that I just can't go to friends and family with right now...I rec'd lots of great input, advice, etc that made me see it in different ways than if I had just been thinking through things alone.

Thanks Dis-Friends

 

[4cruisin]

Yikes, lighten up...it's a bulletin board not a directory of how to live life and most people know that. Somedays there is a ton of useful info and somedays it's just fluff.
This is a great place to obtain opinions and the knowledge gained from other peoples life experiences.

JMHO and .02 worth.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Is this the state of the world today, that we are incapable of making decisions (and owning them)? Are we that afraid of using our own judgement?

so why did you post this?

are you afraid of making YOUR own judgement on this assumption?

 

[Christine]

I DON'T get the "how should I feel", "should I be worried", "I'm having symptoms of a stroke but I'll ask my disfriends instead of a medical professional" posts.

In this case, I think it represents now dissatisfied we have all become with the medical community. Let's face it--most of us don't *want* to rush to the emergency room and it often times takes days to get into to see your physician. In the meantime, you sit there and worry and it really does help to put it out on the DIS because there is always at least one person who has suffered through it.

Honestly, I don't think I have read one post where I felt that anyone truly had a medical emergency so I think you're exaggerating there (and I know you're just trying to get your post across). I haven't seen anyone come on saying they felt like that had chest pain and crushing chest pressure and WWYD? Or "my whole body has gone numb on one side and I'm slumped in a chair, WWYD?" I have not seen anything outrageous like this.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Our feelings are our feelings and probably won't change because someone else says they'd feel differently. That being said, sometimes we can get a better perspective on what the real problem and how to handle it by learning how others would react to the same situation.

I don't know if my Dh's bosses comment about divorcing me was really offensive but from the responses I've gotten, it's not a huge deal. I feel better because now I really get that it's nothing to lose sleep over. I know women discuss their feelings all the time. Not because we can't form our own opinions but because we learn from others.

 

[Maleficent13]

If you read the OP post CAREFULLY, you will see that I DID say I understood the WWYD posts (looking for advice and opinions). Of course I ask friends, family and actual people I know for advice!

I DON'T get the "how should I feel", "should I be worried", "I'm having symptoms of a stroke but I'll ask my disfriends instead of a medical professional" posts.

You said:

Is this the state of the world today, that we are incapable of making decisions (and owning them)? Are we that afraid of using our own judgement?

I answered.



Re: the "How should I feel?" questions: I think a lot of times we're told by people involved in whatever situation we're in that we're wrong, or that we're overreacting, or that we shouldn't be feeling the way we are. Coming to a message board and asking for opinions is simply a way for some of us to vent, or to let us know that there are others like us out there...and despite what our friends/family/inlaws say, we're not crazy or wrong. Or, maybe we are. But at least the people telling us we are have no vested interest in the outcome.

Re: the Medical questions...a lot of times a poster will have symptoms and make an appt with a doc...and then have to wait a week or more to get in. What is wrong with posting their fears while they wait? I once discovered something that was very scary...and I had to wait several weeks for a diagnosis. If I had been on the DIS at that time, I probably would have posted about it.

BTW, I have a few people I met on these boards that I consider "actual people I know" and true friends. They aren't all "total strangers".

 

[Art Vandalay]

Warning: Rant to follow.

Everyday when I read the 'boards I am astounded by the number of posts asking what people should do, think, or feel about any number of topics. Many are the WWYD? variety,(looking for advice and opinions, that I can see) but alot are "should I be upset", "should I be offended". I mean if you are, you are; why do you need to ask total strangers if it's ok to feel that way??? Some of this stuff is simple, basic, everyday stuff, but sometimes it is medical advice and I think "Man, get off the boards and go to emergency, don't ask us!!"

Is this the state of the world today, that we are incapable of making decisions (and owning them)? Are we that afraid of using our own judgement?

Check back again later

 

[mark&sue]

I think these boards are great and are so helpful.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Keep up the good work.



Susan

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I just like the folks on these boards. I have been on here since around 1999 (although it's not reflected in my info. due to having to start again b/c of lost passwords etc.)

These boards have good info. and it's nice to be anonymous sometimes.

I have never seen anyone with a medical emergency, but I can relate to first checking these boards instead of rushing right to the doctor. Now if it's something obvious, of course I wouldn't check in here first, but would seek medical help. But personally, I am really disappointed with the medical community. I have a spec needs child and have literally spent well into thousands upon thousands of dollars seeking help for him and never got any answers or help. My medical insurance isn't that great and I hate to pay high fees for something that was unnecessary in the first place. Which has happened a lot.

These boards aren't a Magic 8 ball in my opinion, for me they are a nice support network where, because of the anonymity factor, people can be completely honest and not worry about hurting your feelings. If I ask my friends for advice, they just "yes" me and tell me what I want to hear. So when I want advice I come here.

I guess if you don't like what the boards have become, maybe it's time to find one that has the kind of people and topics you are looking for.

 

[Crankyshank]

While there are the occasional medical advice thread request where you want to scream and throw things, by and large the threads you seem to have issue with are just people looking for validation/confirmation that they didn't overreact.

 

[Poohgirl]

Will I ever win the lottery... SHAKE...SHAKE...SHAKE....


and the DIS says..... "signs point to yes" YIPEE!!!

 

[Poohgirl]

cool try again, ummm... "Will my doggon dog ever stop chewing on my shoes!" SHAKE...SHAKE...SHAKE...

and the dis says..... "ask again later" what? SHAKE...SHAKE...SHAKE...
"better not tell you now" Great...

 

[CheshireVal]

I don't think people come on here asking for permission to feel a certain way, and I certainly don't think people come on here devoid of emotions asking which particular emotion they should be feeling at that moment.

I think it's more like asking for a little objective clarity on certain situations. Kind of like when I call my best friend and complain about something silly my DH did that made me irrationally mad, so that I can see if she thinks I'm overreacting.

 

[Maleficent13]

poohgirl, are you shaking the monitor or the CPU for your answers? I don't want to do it wrong!

 

[ckay87]

You'll never get this kind of honesty and variety in the opinions you get from your "actual" friends and family. It only ever bothers me when people come on here asking WWYD and then get mad at the responses. Don't ask here if you don't really want to know!!

IMO - get real hugs from your friends and family, get real advice HERE!!