Has taking your kid out of school always been an issue?

[peyjax]

I have been on the boards for about a year and I constantly see questions about taking your kids out of school for vacations or other various reasons. I am a mother to a three year old and a one year old, so I wonder about the future. Has it always been an issue to take your children out of school? I graduated in 95 so I am wondering how much has changed since then. I will admit that I was not fond of High School of I should say the particular one that I attended. I missed a lot of school. I had quite a few health problems that I did not talk to my teachers about and felt that it was none of their business. I missed about 45-50 days a year. I always took a vacation with friends and family every year and will admit I slept in a lot. I got decent grades (3.5? grade average) but never cared about the school and my parents did not really notice how much I missed.

I am now reading about the truency officers and being sent before committees if your child misses 5 or more days. Has it always been like this and I just slipped through?? I remember they threatened a girl to be held back because she missed over 65 days of school, but then could not because she was passing with B's. I am confused.

Please do not get me wrong I value education and think it is very important, however how can a school tell you what to do? Obviously I would never want my child to miss school the way I did, but I still feel as if I should not have to ask permission to take my kid out of school. Are the rules and regulations about this something new? What exactly can they do to you if you don't listen to them?

 

[scjo68]

I think different districts handle it differently. Some are pretty strict, meaning anything without a doctor's note, any absence is unnexcused and work cannot be made up.

We have taken my daughter out for a week each year since Kindergarten, and she is in 4th grade now. We have never had a problem. I think our County's official policy is that it is up to the teacher whether to provide and accept make up work. If a child misses 10 days, I think they may fail.

As I said, we've always taken our daughter out. We always ask the teacher first, and if they have never felt it would be a problem.
I thought we could not do it this year, because dd is in fourth grade, and also because this is her first year in a special gifted program, and it is more challenging. But her teacher said it would be fine.

I only ask the teacher, not the principal or any other administrator. My concern is her education, and whether she will be at a disadvantage instructionally. Only the teacher would know that. I am not concerned with the opinion of the school board, regarding how many days they think my child needs to be in the building.

So I think missing school should not necessarily be done without consideration, but consider your child's needs, rather than the needs of the school system.

 

[daisyduck123]

Never been an issue for me & I pull my DD13 (9th grade) & DS9 (4th grade) out every year.

In 2007, they each missed 6 school days for WDW.
In 2006, they each missed 11 school days (took 2 trips).

I just pulled them out in Dec. so we could get there for Christmas before the crowds hit.

**BTW, I'm a teacher & pull myself out as well!

 

[disneyjunkie]

I believe these policies are in place because some people couldn't be bothered to make sure their kids attended school on a regular basis. So instead of dealing with the slackers, systems have resorted to policies that affect everyone.

I believe anyone who can’t be bothered to get to school on time or attend class, should fail.

 

[powellrj]

Yes, its really changed. While I think NCLB has a lot to do with it, I think the times have changed too. When my oldest was in school, it was a lot easier to leave for anything from a doctors appointment to a vacation. Now is a whole new ballgame.

When my DMIL died last year, they wanted a written note from the funeral director to get my DD back in school. I was so angry I called the superintendent's office and said I thought that policy was way over the line and that a copy of the obit was enough proof. When my oldest was in school, you didn't even need proof, let alone a note from the funeral director.

 

[airhead]

I believe these policies are in place because some people couldn't be bothered to make sure their kids attended school on a regular basis. So instead of dealing with the slackers, systems have resorted to policies that affect everyone.

I believe anyone who can’t be bothered to get to school on time or attend class, should fail.

Yup.Me too. Also,teachers(atleast here in MA) are under tremendous pressure to bring MCAS scores up. If kids are not in school,its the teacher that must do extra work to make sure kids know what's going on. I think parents should take on some of that responsibility.

 

[guelde96]

I have personally never had any trouble taking my children out of school for anything. I do keep the school informed of planned absences in advance.

 

[Melissa_E]

I am now reading about the truency officers and being sent before committees if your child misses 5 or more days. Has it always been like this and I just slipped through??

I think you may have slipped through. I graduated high school in 1994 and my school would have held me back if I had your attendance record. Actually, they would have sent me to the alternative school. I think I had 8 absences total in my 4 years of high school.

The district where I taught in CT had a rule that you couldn't miss more than 8 classes a semester or you fail that semester.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

Definately think you slipped through...or your school system was lax about attendance. I graduated HS in 1995 as well. And we could only miss 10 days w/o administrative failure.

That being said, I plan to be a "bad" mommy and pull DD out of school for vacations when she's older. Especially if it's a Disney vacation Can't imagine going at peak times.

 

[magic mouse]

i won't let teaches and/or school systems tell me not to take my child out of school. Who are the parents here? I just call my child out sick and then ask the teacher for the work when we get back. A cannot believe the post about the note from the funeral director. How disrespectful. Sorry that happen to you.

 

[tomthebarncat]

I asked my SIL, who teaches 7th grade. Her opinion is that while family time is essential to build well rounded children, it should not be done at the expense of a childs education. The No Child Left Behind Act is part of it, but it is also disruptive to the flow and pace of the class for a child who missed important components to try and catch up. She told me that it is not fair to the students who came to class to have to sit and wait while one student asks a million questions about material that was covered while they were on vacation. She also stated that only a few exceptional students actually did any of the work that she spend hours putting together. They always had some lame excuse why they could not get it done. She has now adopted a policy, and the school supports it, that if the absence is for a vacation , you will take a zero for the work that is missed. There is no opportunity to do make up, she does provide extra credit assignments a regular intervals throught out the semester. She told me that she is tired of parents lying about absences and even told one student upon his return, that she was sorry to hear about his grandmother's death. Kid got hysterical in class and started screaming that his grandma had died. When she finally calmed him down, she asked him where he was the last week and his reply " at Disneyland". She then asked him to report what he learned while he was there, his reply "nothing, it was Disneyland!". I personally would not take my child out of school for vacation but that is just me.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

It just became an issue for us this year. We have always taken DD out for a week with her teacher's blessing. Our school almost didn't meet state standards due to attendance last year, even though the test scores are great. Now, we get grief and the threat of a social worker visit after two days out. Family trips are unexcused, regardless of destination or intent. No more writing journals or reports for "educational reasons".

When I was in high school, we were allowed ten unexcused absences per year. I'd rather have a set number of days that we can be gone, even if it was only five. We did take DD out for two days earlier this year, but the trip was planned before the policy change. We are now going to Disney for spring break, which will be fun but much more crowded than we are used to. I refuse to lie and say she is sick when she is not. I have too much respect for her teacher and the administration, even if I don't like the policy. We just deal with it.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I also graduated in '95. If I'm remembering right I think we could have 15 unexcused absences and unlimited if there was a doctors note.
Our school district now doesn't have any certain magic number. I read through the handbook and all it says is " Unexcused absences and family vacations are encouraged to be taken during Summer vacation". But we also aren't in a school district where truancy is a huge problem.

 

[Aliceacc]

however how can a school tell you what to do? :

Taken from www.enotes.com:

"Modern compulsory attendance laws were first enacted in Massachusetts in 1853 followed by New York in 1854. By 1918, all states had compulsory attendance laws"

These laws are not new.

 

[MightyMom]

On Tuesday and Thursday's my DS8 does not go to school until 10:45am because he is physically disabled and gets physical, occupational and speech therapy at an outside clinic on those days.

The school district gave me all sorts of trouble. Threatened to charge me with truancy violations. I knew the Texas Education Code and Texas Administrative codes allowed for visits with a health care professional as long as he attended school at some point during the school day. Despite all of this, the Special Education Director threatened me..... even threatened to hold my son back despite being on the A honor roll.

I knew we were well within our rights... so I stood my ground. I acted in my son's best interest and I fought for his rights. Eventually the school backed down and my son is at the very top of his class despite being absent for 6 hours per school week.

This September I will be pulling DS out of school for a WDW vacation. I'm sure I will get all sorts of grief considering what they tried to pull earlier this year.

 

[mel65]

I have never had any problem taking my ds(9) out of school. As long as he is there for the AIMS testing season the teachers and school are ok for family vacation time.

 

[OlderMan]

I would NEVER take my DD's out of school for a vacation.

They have enough breaks from school as it is without a vacation over and above them.

I even feel guilty if I have to bring them in late/check them out early due to doctor/dentist appointments.

 

[tomthebarncat]

On Tuesday and Thursday's my DS8 does not go to school until 10:45am because he is physically disabled and gets physical, occupational and speech therapy at an outside clinic on those days.

The school district gave me all sorts of trouble. Threatened to charge me with truancy violations. I knew the Texas Education Code and Texas Administrative codes allowed for visits with a health care professional as long as he attended school at some point during the school day. Despite all of this, the Special Education Director threatened me..... even threatened to hold my son back despite being on the A honor roll.

I knew we were well within our rights... so I stood my ground. I acted in my son's best interest and I fought for his rights. Eventually the school backed down and my son is at the very top of his class despite being absent for 6 hours per school week.

This September I will be pulling DS out of school for a WDW vacation. I'm sure I will get all sorts of grief considering what they tried to pull earlier this year.

I find what the special ed teacher tried to pull disturbing. I do believe that the American with Disabilities act (ADA) would override the NCLB act. I would do some research on this one. I really find it hard to believe that the school would not want him to have all the therapy, assistance, etc that he can get, as in the long run it will not only be beneficial to your son but everyone who deals with him on a daily basis. If I was his teacher I would be grateful that these things were available to him as many children in similiar situations go with out. This whole thing with the school does not sound kosher!

 

[alexy]

I asked my SIL, who teaches 7th grade. Her opinion is that while family time is essential to build well rounded children, it should not be done at the expense of a childs education. The No Child Left Behind Act is part of it, but it is also disruptive to the flow and pace of the class for a child who missed important components to try and catch up. . . . She has now adopted a policy, and the school supports it, that if the absence is for a vacation , you will take a zero for the work that is missed. . . .

As a parent, I think this teacher and school have overstepped their boundaries. Teachers, the school, and the state do not own these students. Their job is to educate the students pure and simple and no one ever promised it to be a piece of cake. It’s understood that a teacher’s effectiveness is impacted by the number of days a child misses school. However, assuming a child does not miss an unreasonable number of days (say more than 10 for example), why should that effectiveness be impacted by the reason a student misses class? Missing 5 days for chicken pox is fine, but “god helps us” if the 5 days is for a vacation, suddenly it’s the end of the world!

I’m not a teacher obviously, but a project manager. Day in and day out my projects are impacted by people who are not in attendance when they are needed because they are on vacation, sick, or otherwise unavailable. Yes, my job would be much easier if everyone was there to hear all the necessary information and participate in all decision making processes, but they are not. You know what; I deal with it and, if necessary, spend extra time to bring people up to speed as needed because it’s my job. If a colleague misses an excess amount of time or is unwilling to go the extra mile to come back up to speed and we cannot recover, they are dealt with. However, I’m still measured on my leadership capabilities and the overall success of the project, so it benefits my success to work the situation out if at all possible.

The teacher has chosen this line of work as their profession and this is a common situation in a classroom. As a professional, they should be expected to accommodate a student who takes a reasonable number of days off. If, in the end, the student’s grades suffer, the student and parents need to take ownership of their choice and recognize the reason for the impact. The parents ultimately own this risk. Again, regardless of NCLB, it should be assumed that students miss some school days every year and a teacher should have sufficient skills to effectively educate the child that misses a reasonable amount of school.

Yes, teachers have an important job, but that does not imply that we have to make their classrooms utopia for them to do their job. Perhaps the parent’s/taxpayer money that funds their salaries and benefits should do the trick.


As for the OP, I also think your school district was a bit lenient with the number of days you missed compared to most policies during the 90’s. However, with a 3.4 GPA you obviously were educated, although perhaps not to your full potential.

Additionally, my children have missed school for family vacations. While this is not my preferred choice, it is my choice to make and fortunately our teachers have never made an issue of it. These vacations have never impacted my DS’s (10) grades, but I recognize the impact to my DD (9). In addition to having to catch up at my job when I return, I spend additional time with her to reduce the impact of the missed time, although we never overcome it 100%. Again, this is my risk to assume as a parent and the choice I've made is that this family time is worth the impact to my child.

 

[tomthebarncat]

As a parent, I think this teacher and school have overstepped their boundaries. Teachers, the school, and the state do not own these students. Their job is to educate the students pure and simple and no one ever promised it to be a piece of cake. It’s understood that a teacher’s effectiveness is impacted by the number of days a child misses school. However, assuming a child does not miss an unreasonable number of days (say more than 10 for example), why should that effectiveness be impacted by the reason a student misses class? Missing 5 days for chicken pox is fine, but “god helps us” if the 5 days is for a vacation, suddenly it’s the end of the world!

Yes, their job is to educate the students and students job is to be at school to be educated. I would hardly consider Disney the equivalent of chicken pox, sorry! I fail to see the correalation! Also, why should the rest of the class have to suffer at the expense of one child? Missing a day or two is certainly understandable but taking an entire week off, that is alot of work that is missed. My SIL made this decision based on previous situations were the child made no effort to do any of the work that was assigned on their own. She had spent hours getting the work together, only for the student to return with lame excuses of why they did not have the time to do the work. Then why ask for it in the first place? Then there are the lying parents, who just make up BS so that they can go on a cheap holiday. What kind of example are these parents setting for their kids? lie to get what you want? well in the real world that doesn't always work and there are consequences to all actions. Good students will take the initiative and do their very best to catch up but many will just coast along and hope that the teacher cuts them some slack. I agree with her policy and I would do the same. Going to Disney because the cost is cheaper or it is the off season really is not a good reason to pull your kid out of school. Parents can rationalize this scenario all they want but it doesn't legitimize it or make it right.