Has Anyone...?

[4cruisin]

had a surprise bday party for your dh after they said they did not want one? My dh is turning 40 next month and I have been planning a catered clambake for 40 people as a surprise party for him. He told me a couple of times that he did not want any type of party or surprise party and did not want me to spend a lot of money on his bday. I have been planning this since April and I really want it to be a special memory for him, but now I am getting worried that he will be mad and upset that I had the party when he said he did not want one.

I have put a lot of time (and $$) into the planning and all the decorations. He is a wonderful husband and all around great guy and was so supportive of me and my mom during her terminal illness. I just wanted to do something to make him feel special, but I just don't know how well he will handle the "surprise" aspect of the whole thing.

Anyone have any experience with a situation like this.

Nancy

 

[TEENEE]

I don't know from experience but I'm guessing he won't be mad. I would bet that he has said he doesn't want a party because he doesn't want you to have to do all the work involved in planning a party. Sounds like a good party. Have fun.

 

[DrTomorrow]

You need to know how your DH will react, and how reluctant he really is. I'm a 42YO guy, and it's iffy for me. If we're out at a restaurant, and DW lets them know it's a special event, I sort of enjoy the attention, even if I'd previously told her not to. However, if I was planning on quietly enjoying a BDay alone with DW, and I came home to a house full of 50 people we had to entertain, I might be less than thrilled.

Want to make him feel special, appreciated and make the day memorable? Take him to Hooters and tell them it's his BDay. They'll put him up on a table, and half-a-dozen Hooter's girls will look up at him and sing. That's a good memory for a 40YO .

 

[4cruisin]

DrTomorrow,

Love your suggestion and it would be a lot less expensive than what I have planned.

Nancy

 

[FOJMO]

I would definitely NOT have a surprise birthday party for someone who specifically said they did NOT want one. I know you've probably gone to a lot of trouble, but sometimes the party turns out to be more for the party giver and guests than for the actual birthday person themselves.

I had surprise birthday parties for DH for his 30th, 40th and last year for his 50th. But, he never told me he didn't want one.

If you've already sent out the invitations, though, I don't know if you have much choice. I think you can make it memorable in other ways.

 

[MosMom]

It depends how well you know your DH. Is he pulling a typical woman move saying "I don't want anything" but really deep down wouldn't mind or would be dissapointed if you truly didn't do anything? I think only you can decide this based on knowing your DH's personality.

 

[believe]

I wouldn't do it. I turned 30 this year and told DH I didn't want a party of any kind. I would have been upset had he gone against my wishes, I just wasn't in the partying mood. Nothing to do with the age, just other things going on. If you have already put $ into it I would just tell DH about the party.

 

[Meriweather]

Sounds like fun!!

I always say I don't want a party...and I don't, but I wouldn't be upset if there was one. Especially as nice a one as you're planning.

I gave DH one for his 40th...........and he enjoyed it.

 

[holycow]

Yeah, but...if he is anything like my DH if he says don't do anything and I don't he gets all peeved


So I would go ahead and do it and live with the consequences it sounds like fun and how many times do you turn 40!

HC

 

[4cruisin]

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your input. I have already sent out the invitations so I am really stuck as to cancelling the whole party. I think dh's biggest concern is the $$ end of it because we just bought a new vehicle and I keep telling him that is his bday present. Plus, he knows whenever I plan a party, I always go over the top with the theme and decorations.

I guess I will just have to hope for the best and that he really enjoys his 40th after all.

Nancy