Has anyone every done a birthday registry?

[Aliceacc]

I hate registries, even Bridal and baby registries!!!

I think that if you invite me to a gift-giving occasion, it is up to me to choose the gift that I think you'll enjoy. If we don't know each other well enough for me to know your taste, I probably shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

I HATE being at a bridal shower, having the bride open a gift and exclaim "Oh, my sheets!!!" as though she had placed her order and I was the UPS guy delivering it.

 

[QJ411]

ITA!!! While I do not include a "my kid is registered at" in any invitation to family or friends both of my kids (as I posted previously) are registered with wish lists on Amazon. IF someone asks and wants more specifics other than oh she likes Strawberry Shortcake or he's into Transformers then I will let them know that they both have wish lists posted. A wish list is exactly that...specific items they "wish" to have, not necessarily "are" getting. It is a huge help to distant relatives or relatives we don't see that often or friends who know that yes, DS is into transformers BUT he has sooooo many that they do not want to buy a duplicate item. With todays pain in the @** return policies - must have receipt, only have so many days to bring back, needs to go back on whatever form of payment it was orginally purchased in, it now clearanced so cheaper than when purchased, etc. I would rather get something off a list or asked for by parent/child than worry that it got regifted, donated, etc. I think that it's smart to have some type of list for people to refer to if they would like that option - again not forced on someone by including in an invite but upon request. In general I don't have a problem with wedding or baby registries.

As I posted earlier as well, I have a wishlist for DD for family & close friends for her Bday. I would not put it in the invite, however it is on our family website (where we post photos, blogs, party info, etc.), and I've also put down DD is really into Books, Puzzles, Animals to help with the general idea. Only our family and close friends have access to the site. I agree that I would never put it in the invite nor would I send it to play date pals or classmates. But I generally think wish-lists are a big help. For years, my little cousin would make a Christmas wishlist by writing down what she wanted from Santa and everyone in our family would ask the mom for a copy of that list.

I also don't have problems with wedding or baby registries, I'd expect to see it on an invite. If it's not listed, then I'd assume they're asking for a cash gift.

To each's own you know? Good luck w/ the planning!

 

[QJ411]

I HATE being at a bridal shower, having the bride open a gift and exclaim "Oh, my sheets!!!" as though she had placed her order and I was the UPS guy delivering it.

That is true though. Although, like I previous posted, I don't have problems with it, your statement made me laugh!

 

[MrsPete]

Just wondering is anyone has ever done a registry for a child's birthday. And if you did How did you let the guests know? The reason I ask is because someone asked if I was going to register somewhere. At first I thought no, but then I checked into it and you can at Target and at Pottery Barn Kids.
Just wondering

Jenny

No, I would not do this. It seems greedy, money-grubbing, and self-centered. It emphasizes to the child that the gifts are the most important part of a birthday, and the thought doesn't matter so much as getting the right thing. No, you'll never see a "registry" in my child's birthday invite.

 

[ranthony]

Do you remember sitting on your grandma's lap and paging through the Sears Wish Book or some similar holiday catalog? Oh, those were the days...hot cocoa, sitting on granny's lap and dreaming of all those wonderful toys!

To the OP. I do agree that including registry information for the birthday child does seem to be tacky. However, I find an on-line wish list for family if requested more acceptable.

 

[bumbershoot]

I hate registries, even Bridal and baby registries!!!

I think that if you invite me to a gift-giving occasion, it is up to me to choose the gift that I think you'll enjoy. If we don't know each other well enough for me to know your taste, I probably shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

I HATE being at a bridal shower, having the bride open a gift and exclaim "Oh, my sheets!!!" as though she had placed her order and I was the UPS guy delivering it.

I used to feel that way. And then 18 gazillion people asked what I wanted for wedding presents, and told me that I MUST create a registry, and I got tired of answering those 18 gazillion people, so I created one.

We got a few things from off (as in, not ON it) the registry, I can name them. Lime green candlesticks that make ME happy b/c I like that color, but DH could do without them; they've never been used b/c I don't light candles after developing asthma during pregnancy (which was started the day after the wedding). A soup tureen shaped like a big cauliflower complete with greenery; that's sitting up in the decorative spot above the cabinets, never been used but it's amusing! Hmm, I think that's it. Everything else is used, rather than looked at, most every day...I now feel AWFUL for getting my well-meaning but not-really-wanted wedding gifts before I "believed" in registries (especially the tea set I decorated at a pottery place, but was thrown away after the divorce b/c I had personalized it all, sigh).


But I'm lucky in that almost no one gets any of us gifts since the wedding and baby shower 6 or 7 months after said wedding. Maybe a gift certificate, maybe a book or something about a religion we don't believe in, but that's it. No one has ever looked at our Wish Lists but us.

 

[pearlieq]

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

It's OK to propose a few general suggestions if asked, but a formal "Wish List" with specific products is only appopriate between young children and their parents.

 

[ZPT1022]

We're tacky list makers.

In DH's family he was the last "baby", so when we had our first everyone was 20 something years out of practice. I would try the general "She's into fingerpaints, and coloring books and Sesame Street" kind of stuff but what wound up happening was that I was expected to go shopping with everyone and pick something out for my own DD and then they would pay, go home and wrap it and present it to her at her party. Now not to sound rude, but I don't have the time to go shopping individually with all the different members of DH's family, plus sometimes a few from my own.

The year I had the twins was the year I finally caved and started the gift list. My twins were due the day after my oldest's third birthday. I was on some form or another of bedrest from about 6-7 months on. So, DH took DD to Toys R Us and made a list. And when people called and asked what she wanted or when I would be available to shop with them I would tell them a few things she liked and if they wanted specific ideas, there was a list available at Toys R Us.

It worked out really well and we've done it every year since. In fact, at this point we have family members who will call and ask if we've made the list yet? I guess it's convenient for everyone.

Etiquette wise, I think it's different because we would never put the info on an invite- we only provide it when asked. If there is a big ticket item it's usually because someone has specifically asked us to put it on there- case in point, last year MIL wanted to get a sand and water table for DS so she asked us to let him pick out which one he wanted and put it on the list so she could get it for him. So we did. I guess I don't see what the harm is

 

[meandtheguys2]

But the truth is, we all know it's easy to say something is all bad or all good when we're talking abstractly. Honestly, if we have a dear giving friend with a sweet child who puts together a registry, even those of us who are anti-registry will say, "Oh I know her, she's just trying to make this easy on people who are looking for gift ideas." But if it's someone we tend to think of a greedy/graspy...well, you know what we'll think of them.

So I guess my real answer is, "it depends." But I would never EVER sanctify advertising any kind of list that is not solicited.

That is a really good point. In theory, I'm for or against many things. When it comes to the people I love, though, I really don't care what they do. I'm just thankful they are a part of my world!

 

[flagdaytwins]

A registry says to gift giver: GET ME THESE THINGS OR ELSE: ANYTHING YOU'VE GIVEN IN THE PAST S-CKED SO BAD I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO GET ME.

My SIL did one for her daughter 20 PAGES LONG.....and my immediate family got her gifts that weren't on the registry just to antagonize her.

 

[rdevine10]

No.... I think for birthdays they are tacky. I do create a wish list (on paper at home) of what DD wants. IF someone asks I will tell them and also let them know the correct sizing she wears in clothing (shes super skinny and needs adjustable waist pants, and I cant tell you how many time I have told people, they dont listen and she cant wear the clothes as they fall right off her but!).

Anyways, typically family only asks anyways, and I would never tell her friends! Some of her most fun gifts are things she probably wouldnt have picked!

I dont mind registries for baby or wedding, as it saves from getting so many duplicates of things.

 

[ang]

I agree.. I also wouldn't buy from the registry if there was one.

I think registrying for a kid birthday...no...My child was invited to a birthday with a registry...I did not bother. I do find that very tacky....What is that teaching your kid...he/she getting everything on their list.....what is that suppose to teach your kid....not to be happy in what you received? Whats a big deal telling family on the phone what your kid likes...

You know, what happen you invite someone who does not have a lot of money...Can't afford what on the list...My DD is 17, some of her friends can't afford things....couple of her birthdays parties kids gave $5 in a card. My DD was thrilled....its the idea just having family and friends over...not gifts.

 

[ang]

A registry says to gift giver: GET ME THESE THINGS OR ELSE: ANYTHING YOU'VE GIVEN IN THE PAST S-CKED SO BAD I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO GET ME.

My SIL did one for her daughter 20 PAGES LONG.....and my immediate family got her gifts that weren't on the registry just to antagonize her.

 

[dopeyfanatic]

I have registered for Christmas and birthday for my kids since my oldest was born, and he'll be 8 this summer. For me it's because I CONSTANTLY was getting calls about what he wanted. He's the first grandkid on my dh's side, and was the first boy on my side. Then, I'd give the same list to everyone. I'd end up with three of the same thing. So it was easier to register, and everyone in my family prefers it. They can look at the list and get something off it, or get something else. It's probably 50/50. But the list gives them an idea of what they're into. My middle son turns 6 in a couple weeks. He has 35 things on his list, but 10 of them alone are books. I do not put the information on the invitations, but if asked I'll tell them he has a list. We ALWAYS have several things under $5, and normally nothing over $50 (that's for the grandparents, or something we are getting him but we'll register for it and mark it off so family can see we got it). My kids have ALWAYS known that just because you register for something doesn't mean you'll get it. They've never complained about not getting something, or been greedy. We've never been given bad gifts from friends, but from family we have. Things my kids weren't old enough to use for over a year, couldn't do themselves, something they weren't even into....had those people looked at the list they would have had a much better use spending their nearly $100 EACH TIME!

While I don't agree with putting the information on an invitation, I think it's absolutely ridiculous that some people say that they absolutely wouldn't shop from a registry if they found out about one. I think it's pretty sad that you'd rather give a kid something that YOU like rather than getting something THEY like. It IS their birthday after all. If you're going to get a gift, shouldn't it be something they'll play with? Do you not ask the parent what the kid likes so you have an idea? And how is it any different for them to tell you what things he likes right now, or show it to you on a list/registry? I've NEVER had someone buy a gift without asking what my kid likes at the time, but that's just me. I've also never bought a gift without asking what they like either. I don't think a gift is any less from the heart being off a registry. To me, it is more so. You took the time to find out what they actually wanted. My family (and by that I include extended) appreciates that more.

 

[kinntj]

Tacky!

I do list general things my DD's are into like, drawing, workbooks, or dressing up. Then the relatives/friends can get what they want from what I've told them in their price range or nothing at all. I try to tell my kids that it's about the party, not the gifts. That only works a little though when they are young.

 

[meandtheguys2]

While I don't agree with putting the information on an invitation, I think it's absolutely ridiculous that some people say that they absolutely wouldn't shop from a registry if they found out about one. I think it's pretty sad that you'd rather give a kid something that YOU like rather than getting something THEY like. It IS their birthday after all. If you're going to get a gift, shouldn't it be something they'll play with? Do you not ask the parent what the kid likes so you have an idea? And how is it any different for them to tell you what things he likes right now, or show it to you on a list/registry? I've NEVER had someone buy a gift without asking what my kid likes at the time, but that's just me. I've also never bought a gift without asking what they like either. I don't think a gift is any less from the heart being off a registry. To me, it is more so. You took the time to find out what they actually wanted. My family (and by that I include extended) appreciates that more.

Had I told my father what my son wanted, he would never have received that rock and fossil collection that sent his imagination soaring. We would not have been taken to "The Lion King" by his grandmother. My other son would never have discovered his love of drums without his uncle's sharing his enjoyment and giving him his first snare. And my youngest might never have discovered his green thumb.

All of these people thought about what they knew about my kids, and what they too loved, and shared that with my kiddos. Gifts from the heart and soul of the giver. Not just a blank check for the latest "gotta have."

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

Wow, I guess I grew up in the land of " be glad that you got a present" and " it is the thought that counts". Geez oh pete, now there are registries for kid's birthday parties to? Is this really what the greediness and me-me-me of America has come to? I have 4 children and if one of them was disappointed with something that someone bought them for their Birthday I would be sorely disappointed in myself for raising them to feel that way. They have recieved presents from the Just a Dollar store from their Grandparents on my DH side and acted just as a excited as receiving their American Girl Dolls from my DH and I on their Birthdays.

 

[mjantz]

Had I told my father what my son wanted, he would never have received that rock and fossil collection that sent his imagination soaring. We would not have been taken to "The Lion King" by his grandmother. My other son would never have discovered his love of drums without his uncle's sharing his enjoyment and giving him his first snare. And my youngest might never have discovered his green thumb.

All of these people thought about what they knew about my kids, and what they too loved, and shared that with my kiddos. Gifts from the heart and soul of the giver. Not just a blank check for the latest "gotta have."

I don't think anyone here is saying 'You must buy off the list or else!!'. I agree that some of the best gifts I've received or given have been unexpected. But sometimes, as much as you love someone, you don't quite know what they might want as a gift. Especially when they're a kid & what they want can change frequently. I think it can take a closeness to know that while your granddaughter asked for Barbies & Hannah Montana stuff, she'd love a 'real' ballerina tutu and unfortunately, because of distance or other circumstances, some people don't have that closeness. Others like knowing 'If I buy X, Y & something with Z on it, my nephew will think I'm very, very cool.' I sometimes save 'cool' toys for my parents & in-laws to get for my kids because they love giving that 'must-have' toy.

Its all about how its presented & whether or not its wanted IMO. (the list that is)

 

[dogluva]

My first impulse was to say that it is tacky, but then I thought back to the hideous gifts I received from [I assume] well-meaning gramma and aunt & uncle, and after reconsideration it may have saved me the hurt/anger of getting a carnival-quality teddy bear on my 13th birthday (I did not collect bears and was too old to play with it, and it wasn't even a half-way decent one) or the inflatible 2' tall dinosaurs Gramma gave me for my 18th (they were not a joke; she was completely serious; she spent somewhere between $30 and $35 to buy them off of QVC or HSC; she bought them b/c I liked dinosaurs - I was considering studing paleontology in school, not regressing to a pre-K state). A gift registry might also have helped my aunt and uncle learn that my birthday was the 24th, not the 23rd, which made their gift of a "what happened on your birthday" book worthless.

And you know what-it is the thought that counts. Maybe your grandmother enjoyed buying it off QVC.

have you ever heard of "It's the thought that counts"?

 

[Beezle2]

I guess I'll be the odd person out and say I like them! Especially for school friends that we don't know that well. I would much rather hear they have a registry then to have to ask what they would like.

I've never done one for my kids though...not sure why.

I'm probably tacky from way back though