harness-how many dirty looks will I get?

[loveysbydesign]

Just wanted to point out that this type can actually lead to injury as there is the risk of dislocating the child's shoulder if they fall and you pull on it too hard.

Thanks for the tip, but my dd will be almost 4 when we go and I just want one for when we're at the airport!

 

[KristiKelly]

I can't recommend a good harness, so no help there. I have never had to buy one for my kids, fortunately they were good stroller riders and hand holders and not runners (#3 is only 8 monthes though and we think she's going to be our wild one ). Anyway, I have seen many kids wearing the little leash type things and I've never given it a 2nd thought. If someone gives you a dirty look or snotty remark I would simply tell them that "it beats a lost child". It only takes a second for them to get out of sight, do what's best for you. Good luck!!

 

[ebethuk]

I live in the UK and 'reins' are totally normal here and almost every parent uses them! As soon as my daughter could walk, I had her on reins when in a crowded place.

My father (American) used to make comments about how much he hated the thought of my daughter on a 'leash' until he walked with her one day down a very busy street. With London's narrow streets and crazy traffic, he soon understood.

So, if anyone says anything to you - put on your best British accent and say something like 'don't be such a pedant' and move on!

Everywhere here sells them - grocery stores, department stores.. etc. I recommend the chest harness type, although I do have a wrist to wrist one now that my daughter is three.


ebeth

 

[southernbella]

Hi, I just got back & used a harness on my 17 month old. I got one or 2 kinda mean comments, but I got more positive comments. The running joke was that every day at least 2 exasperated parents would ask me "Please tell me you got that in the park!". Use it & ignore the dirty looks. It saved my sanity. Sbella

 

[skoi]

I recently started using a harness with DS. I have had many men say "What does he bite?" to which I reply, not but he likes to giggle and run the other way.

Wow, you have much better manners than I do! I would have said something obnoxious back--

On topic- we never had to use a harness, but are taking our very active 2 year old this fall and have already bought this little monkey backpack that is actually a harness too. It's been a long time since I read the posting rules, so I'm not sure if I can post the name of the store we got it from. Hint: It's really big and they have them everywhere-- even China.

 

[belle&beast]

I wish we would have had one on our January trip! Do whatever you feel you have to do to keep your child safe!

 

[NotUrsula]

They are hard to find in the US unless you order them from a UK website, but the best brand I can recommend is Clippasafe. Worth paying extra for, I think.
(BTW, if you order from a UK site, send an email first to ask what the price is minus the VAT; orders shipped overseas don't have to pay that tax, but it is included in the price that is displayed.) This shop will ship to the US: http://multipharmacy.com/shop/customer/search.php?substring=reins

European-made harness reins are IMO better than those made for the US market because they have a shorter rein with a two-point strap attachment (it does not drag the ground if you let go), and they come with an extra set of short straps that are meant to secure a child into a high chair or stroller. Here is a Clippasafe rein set in use, note where the strap attaches: http://www.chariotsatp.co.uk/products/harness.htm

 

[Amaris]

I would not worry about anyone's stares or comments. People who comment most are those who know the least, sadly.

We used one on my daughter until she was five, but only in crowded places ( NY city, Disney, etc) where we were unable to keep a firm grip on her hand 24/7. I know five sounds a bit extreme but my daughter could not talk and had no means of communication, so it was a safety issue. She also was a wanderer ( my mom calls her a free spirit) which didn't help much.

We didn't use the store bought harnesses though, because to me they were a bit too obvious, especially with her being older. What DH did was buy two of the key clips ( the little metal ones you clip on a belt loop) and a short rope. We tied each end of the rope to a clip and then used electrical tape to neatly wrap the lose end of the tie on each clip. Then we clipped the rope on our belt loop and her belt loop. The rope was long enough to attach us and give her an arm's length but not long enough to get tangled in or trip over. We held her hand on the side our belt loops were clipped on, so really, no one SAW the rope unless she darted and the rope stopped her. On the few occassions that we did get comments, we heard things like, "I wish I had one of those for my husband!" or " I wish I had those on my kids!" or "Where did you get that?" "How can I make one?"

The dirty looks were few because really, the harness we used was not obvious, and really, if it is between someone who has no idea about my child and the safety of my child, she wins hands down.

Now at 9 she can talk up a storm and STAY with me, but at the time using a harness was a lifesaver!

 

[amarberry]

I think that you will get very few dirty looks . On our last two trips (DD was 14 months old and 18 months old), it seemed like everyone had a harness or leash of some sort on their toddlers. The "anti" harness or leash people always seems to be people without kids who just don't get it. I think very few fellow parents would look at you negatively.

I have to second the monkey harness that another poster posted a link to. My DD is pretty lazy and only started walking at 15 months, so even on our trip in January she didn't move quick enough to really need a harness. Still, I bought the dog version of that harness for our trip in case she suddenly went crazy in all of the excitement of WDW. We ended up not needing it because she is just like DH and only walks at one speed...slow . However, at home she loves the harness and is always bringing me her "puppy" to hook onto her. She spends many happy hours in the safe environment of our home leashed by choice!

 

[Kristi1357]

The "anti" harness or leash people always seems to be people without kids who just don't get it. I think very few fellow parents would look at you negatively.

My sister used one on my very active niece in WDW when she was about 20 mos. old. Once that kid was walking, she hated her stroller - would scream like crazy so she could walk. So, in WDW we were going to have a problem. My sister was nervous about what people would say about using a "leash." Instead, she had parents asking her all week where she got the leash!

We have one for DS. We tried to use it on him in WDW when he was about 18 mos. old. All he did was run in circles trying to grab at the back of it! Thankfully, he's very good about the strolller, so we just keep him penned up in that.

Go ahead and use one if you feel you need to. Not losing a child is worth every potential dirty look or nasty comment!

Kristi

 

[Schmeck]

Just don't get the ones with the long or curly phone cord leashes - they let the child get too far away from the parent, someone could cut between you, and drag your child down across the pavement. I've seen it happen at WDW, twice.

Also, don't let the harness give you a false sense of complete security. If someone wanted to snatch you child, and was strong enough, no clip onto a beltloop would hold. A full harness probably would, but the harness in itself isn't going to make your child any safer from predators. On the other hand, harnesses are great aids in keeping the "little darter" close by!

 

[islandbeachnut]

I always thought that people who put a leash on their kids where just too lazy to watch them, but now that I'm older, I notice, but couldn't care less what others do to keep track of their kids.

I never needed one for any of my 3 kids, but only you know if it's something that you need. If it will give you peace of mind to enjoy your Disney vacation & keep you from losing your kid - then use it and don't give anyone the satisfaction of noticing their "dirty look".

 

[S. C.]

Don't worry about what others say or think. What matters most is that your child is safe. If you are afraid that he might wander and get lost or hurt, then by all means use the harness. I used one with my ds and got a lot of looks but I didn't care -- I cared more about my son than those strangers. One trip at Disney I was waiting at a bus stop at ASMu behind a family with two little boys -- the youngest was 2 and had a harness on. Just as a bus pulled to the stop the little boy dashed into the drive -- if it wasn't for that harness (his dad pulled him in quickly), he may have been hit by that bus.

ITA with this.

 

[CleveRocks]

UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT

I'm one of those people who's very, VERY against the use of harnesses. That being said, I am MORE against bystanders being rude by making disapproving faces at or comments to other people. How dare they! We're all entitled to our own opinions, but we shouldn't feel entitled to put our own opinions in other people's faces. OK, OK, I know I'm doing that here, but this is a public forum designed to share opinions.

So like I said, I hate the very idea of harnesses, but you shouldn't seriously care for one second how I feel! They're YOUR kids. It's YOUR family. YOU make the rules. YOU make the decisions. You have to do what YOU feel is best for YOUR family. Use the harness, and if you see disapproving looks from other people, go forth in confidence that you are doing what you feel is best for your family, and those other people are just being rude rude rude.

For those with flames in hand, I have a fairly strong resume. I'm a Dad of a 6 year old and a 3.5 year old. Remember, they used to be younger, I didn't just adopt them at this age. I've been all over with them, all around busy and crowded and dangerous touristy places (WDW, Manhattan many times, downtown Philadelphia many times, Baltimore Inner Harbor twice, Ocean City NJ boardwalk, and we live 4 blocks from the Atlantic City boardwalk). Due to my wife's work responsibilities, I've often taken the kids to these places by myself, without my wife or any other adult. They're active, they RUN, they SPRINT, they don't listen (just like most young ones), and my wife and I are often EXHAUSTED after having them out in public (well, more 2 years ago than now, but you get the idea). Since we don't see any other acceptable options for US, it's no big deal, it's just another day on the job.

AGAIN, bottom line, please don't care if anyone disapproves or not. It's not their business, it's not their worry or concern. If they don't like what you're doing, well they can just go to H ....um ... UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!

 

[southernbella]

UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT


AGAIN, bottom line, please don't care if anyone disapproves or not. It's not their business, it's not their worry or concern. If they don't like what you're doing, well they can just go to H ....um ... UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!

 

[Feralpeg]

I see people using them all the time around WDW. I really haven't noticed people even paying much attention to those using them. I guess there may be a few folks here and there that might give a disapproving look, but there are always people giving disapproving looks about something around the parks.

Go for it.

 

[crisi]

UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT
For those with flames in hand, I have a fairly strong resume. I'm a Dad of a 6 year old and a 3.5 year old. Remember, they used to be younger, I didn't just adopt them at this age. I've been all over with them, all around busy and crowded and dangerous touristy places (WDW, Manhattan many times, downtown Philadelphia many times, Baltimore Inner Harbor twice, Ocean City NJ boardwalk, and we live 4 blocks from the Atlantic City boardwalk). Due to my wife's work responsibilities, I've often taken the kids to these places by myself, without my wife or any other adult. They're active, they RUN, they SPRINT, they don't listen (just like most young ones), and my wife and I are often EXHAUSTED after having them out in public (well, more 2 years ago than now, but you get the idea). Since we don't see any other acceptable options for US, it's no big deal, it's just another day on the job.

Not flaming, but you had fortunate circumstances. Your kids are 2 1/2 years apart in age and don't outnumber you. Had you been dealing with two or three toddlers simultaneously, your experience may have lead you to compromise - or not travel (or my favorite technique - but it gets expensive - travel with backup in the form of extra grown ups).

We used harnesses at Disney when our kids were 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. We discovered we only needed them early in the trip - while we established the rules and while they wanted to run. Didn't take them long - even as toddlers - to realize that Mommy and Daddy could get lost easily - even on a leash - in the crowds. By day three they were content in the stroller - worn out from the first two days - or content to stay near us. The biggest advantage to the harness was when Daddy ran to to bathroom (or to check us in at a restuarant, or Mommy went up to go grab the food while Daddy stayed with the kids). When the toddlers outnumbered the adults, it was just impossible, it was much easier when Grandma and Grandpa joined us later in the week and the adults outnumbered the toddlers.

When we went back when they were just turned four and five, we didn't need them at all. That trip we lost Grandma a few times - but the kids stayed close and listened.

I do have one darter and one dwaddler (still like that - six and seven now) - which means that one will be halfway down the hall at Target while the other decides she needs to closely look at the dog food display.

 

[tjmw2727]

No dirty looks from me!!

I used one for a short time with my second dd - the girls are close in age and though I never needed it for my older dd felt I did for the younger dd. My younger dd got so distracted so fast by the, cute puppy in the window, funny leaf on the street etc that she would just go check it out! It was a precaution so that I didn't have to leave one dd while chasing another.

I used a harness along with hand holding, as a back up, not as a leash. It worked wonders and in just a few weeks of using it in addition to teaching we were able to go without. If I were visiting WDW during that stage or possibly just after I would definatly have used it. FWIW the harness stayed in the stroller basket as a reminder for a while. If my dd broke the hand holding/ stroller holding rule even once she went in the stroller or on went the harness.

I will say that the times we lost track of or almost lost a dd it was more of a communication issue. More likely to happen when dh and I were both with the girls than when either of us had them alone. I thought dh had so & so and he though I did! After that each of us had a buddy for the day and that worked well, we still do it sometimes!

Have a great trip.
TJ

 

[mickeymousemom]

I haven't read any replies, but I totally agree with the harness thing. My youngest DD is 2 1/2 yo and I CANNOT keep up with her! I didn't have this problem with my other two.

I say that if you are going to WDW with an active 2yo who refuses to sit in a stroller(like mine), then please, USE a harness. The reason I am so adamant about this is because we were just down there for a quick trip with just the 2yo and we had a SCARY incident with her.

While DH and a friend went to the bathroom in Toontown, I took DD to play in the fenced in playground there. Until they came up I had been watching her EVERY move as I get terrified that something will happen to her. When DH and our friend came back, we were all keeping an eye on her(or so I thought). I had seen her on the slide, then she went to the little playhouse. DH and friend then saw her on the slide again, then within about 20 seconds she was GONE! I went looking in every nook and cranny for several seconds, while my heart was *this close* to stopping. I then went to the exit/entrance to look out in the road for her...it was then I heard a CM yelling "Has anyone lost a child?!"...OMG....there is my DD standing with a CM, crying. I began to breathe again. I could not believe I had let this happen. The CM reassured my by saying it happens all the time, but I still feel extremely guilty. Contrary to another post I read about the crowds last week...when we were in the MK last Tuesday it was very crowded. AND...it only takes a second for a very fast 2yo to disappear. We were in the parks for two days and neither day did she spend any amount of time in her stroller. She walked...insisted on walking...right along with us..ALL DAY. I saw a couple later with 2 kids on harnesses and I wished I had brought one. Better to have your child in a harness than not have your child at all. Anyone who reams you for it needs a swift kick in the hiney.

BTW...Go to WDW...have WONDERFUL time...your child will LOVE it!

 

[Mrs. Squirrel]

Both my sis and I (we have 2 year olds-five days apart) purchased harnesses before our Disney trip in Aug. '05. She had warned me that her older kids had not done well with a wrist strap, because they figured out how to undo it, so we went with the traditional style. Ours has a 3" in band that goes around the chest and secures with velcro. We tested them in many different situations and found that even when the kids strained against them with their bodies at a 45 angle to the ground, they held!

During the pre-Disney testing, I would look in strangers faces paranoid to see any signs of disapproval, because I wasn't completely comfortable with the harness myself. All my life, the comments I had heard about harness use were negative. My attitude about them changed the day my then 16 mo. old son broke away from me while waiting in a roped, snaking shopping line (sound like Disney?) and was a good 30 feet away from me before I could even get past the family behind me. Marshall Faulk and Edgerin James had nothing on DS as he ducked and twisted through the see of legs, purses, strollers, and shopping carts with lightning speed! I could not imagine tackling Disney fearing that!

The harness has become a constant companion with us, both before and after the Disney trip. I now don't give a whip who has a problem with them! I have never received a negative comment. As far as stares, since I no longer look for them anymore, I'm not sure I would see them anyway. :

P.S. I also let my son sleep with us once in a while when he was an infant, didn't make my own baby food, breast fed for only six months, let my son watch TV all day when he's sick, and plan to homeschool. If anyone has a problem with my parenting choices, there are plenty of other subjects to nitpick besides harnesses! Bad Mommy!