Happyhaunt Halloweenie ~ Unplanned, Unfinished and Unrepentant (new pg# 14, Nov. 19)

[Yzma and Kronk]

I'm feeling left out that our voting is over now in Canada.

How about we start a vote on making "Alot" the canadian version of a lot?

It must be a Canadian thing.....I do that alot too!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Good day, Disfriends!

Let's continue along on our Halloweenie. Pausing briefly, now and again, only to get back on track.

I've left off the day before our trip. But we are packed, lightly planned and ready to rock. Mellyman came home as I was putting the kidlets to bed and was pretty surprised to find out we were good to go. He's used to me running around like a maniac the day of the trip, doing a bunch of things I should have done weeks earlier and getting him all whipped up into a frenzy of anxiety and stress to begin his much-needed-and-anticipated relaxing family vacation.

He was surprised how calm and orderly both Me(l) and the house. Were.

So as not to completely disappoint and throw him off "normal"... I told him that I had neither grocery shopped nor packed for their camping trip. And so I had all of that to do the next day. Plus I needed to get litter for the catbox because the storage room in the basement smelled strongly of poo. And also the cat needed food because I realized today that we were out of the stuff he likes and when I tried to feed him from the emergency katkibble supply he looked at me like, "What the hell is that?!". And then he looked at me harder... like, "No more games, housepet." And, finally, when he realized I wasn't gonna pony up the Tender Beef Feast he walked away with one more look over his shoulder which said, "Maybe I can get even."

At that point I think he walked into the dining room and tried to make himself cough up a hairball on the carpet. Then peeked at me around the corner with his little tiny angry pupils, "If it bleeds...I can kill it.".

And, in case you were wondering, YES our cat talks exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And, in addition, he's a huge furry completely black neutered male(ish) cat.

Who crosses my path hundreds of times a day.

Most likely on purpose.

Back on track...

What I was saying with all of that is this: I had a lot of stuff to do the next day before leaving for the airport.

Which I planned out in my head from about four in the morning when I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep till about 6:52 a.m. when our alarm went off.

Our alarm doesn't exactly go off. It sort of climbs up into our bed and snuggles up to me under the blankets smelling faintly of baby shampoo and then breathes a sweet familiar combination of baby teeth/big teeth morning breath in my face. It usually whispers, "Wakey uppy puppy!" and I usually whisper the very same thing back. Our alarm clock is named "Tommy". And I try to make the next, and first, 10 minutes or so of the day last a very very long time.

Then I have to actually get out of the bed and start my day by reminding Calvin that, yes, he needs to brush his hair. With a brush. At least once a day. And that changing his socks daily is NOT an option. And unlock the bathroom door and let his little brother Tommy into the bathroom. Before he pees on the carpet. Then I tell him that I have no sympathy for him because the cat just jumped out of nowhere and bit his leg. As he has been trained to do.

By Calvin.

Then I tackle my morning workout.

Which is dragging, often physically, my thirteen-year-old daughter out of the rack. Usually half-asleep. And uber-pleasant. As I'm sure all teenagers are.

First thing in the morning.

And here's a good tip: They don't usually like to be awakened by song. Especially not by songs from the musical Grease. And super-especially not by their mom singing "Summer Nights". Both parts. But doing Danny's with a much higher voice.

Uh wella wella wella huh tell me more tell me more

Alrighty. I will.

It's a typical Happyhaunt morning.

Except that Mellyman was working from home.

So I dropped the kids off at school and then got him coffee and tried to give him a run-down of my plans for the day.

He said he was in a meeting and he couldn't talk.

I don't know if that was the truth but he sure looked busy at the computer so I went out and ran around with my lists and got everything done.

Yuppers.

All of it. I finished everything exactly 1/2 hour before we were due to pick up Calvin at the school and head to the airport.

I took a quick shower but didn't have time to shave my legs. Which was actually a blessing in disguise b/c I hadn't decided what to wear yet. Which is kinda a big decision. Because... it's cold here when you leave. Both in Canada and in Buffalo at the airport. Then it's hot and stuffy on the plane and then cold and then hot and stuffy. Again. On the plane. Plus... it's HOTHOT once you actually land in Orlando and venture outside hauling your luggage and finding a rental car. After which we were planning on heading directly to DTD for a late dinner. Which is HOTHOTHOT. So... you definitely don't want to be overdressed and wear pants.

I decided on wearing pants. To travel.

With dripping wet hair and no make-up I hit the ground running and got myself into the car at exactly 2:30 p.m. as per Mellyman's orders.

We went to get Calvin at the school. Beth had instructions to come home directly from school with Tommy in tow. They weren't driving to Buffalo with us. They would be staying and finishing up their day at school. But I had stopped by the school with lunch treats during my running around earlier in the day and said goodbye. I absolutely HATE goodbyes. But this went better and quicker than I could have imagined. Tommy hugged and kissed me and asked for a present, Calvin high-fived both his brother and sister and said "Bye" and Beth even let me give her a quick hug and even quicker kiss. Yep. Even in the foyer of the school. In front of several of her girlfriends. And a couple grade 8 boys. So I played it cool and told her I'd call them later. And to have a fun camping trip.

I restrained myself from any elaborate embarrassing show of emotion.

But... it was cute... b/c after she had walked about ten feet away, she turned and mouthed "Love you!" at me from down the hall.

So that was sick.

Whatever that means.

To Me(l)... it meant, well, everything.

Anywho... Mellyman and I drove to the kids' school and I hopped out and met Calvin in the lobby. He was waiting for me with his backpack, ready to go, as per my instructions.

Then I handed Calvin a plastic bag with an entire new set of clothing in it.

Why? Why, you ask?

B/c when I had popped in to see the kids at lunch I had discovered that he was awfully muddy. Uh huh. The clothes that I had figured he'd wear on the plane and to Florida were now too dirty to wear anywhere. Except directly to the laundry room. Not touching any furniture or walls, stepping gingerly... without an excess of motion... and not, absolutely, stopping to bend down and rub the cat's fur. Up and down and against its grain. And squeeze his cat-toes.

I gave Calvin the brand new set of clothes and sent him off to quickly change. QUICKLY change.

I popped into the office and signed him out for the day and gave the secretary a note explaining his absence from school the following day. She asked where we were going and I told her. She thought that it was great and she said she knew Calvin would have a great time.

She knew this because she's spent plenty of time with Calvin in the past.

She's spent time with him in the nurse's room waiting for me to come and pick him up to take him to the doctor's or the hospital. For x-rays. She's spent time with him while he's been waiting to "visit" with the principal or vice-principal. She's let him use the phone when he's forgotten various items at home and wants me to run them over to the school. She's spent time with him when he's been unable to find his brother or his sister after school and needed to call me to find out whether to just walk home by himself. And she's been there a couple times when he's been in looking for his lunch. Which was in his backpack. All along.

She said to have fun.

A good 10 long minutes later he returned with his new clean clothes on and his dirty clothes in the bag.

Minus one sock. I later discovered.

We jumped in the dirtiest van in town. And drove directly to Buffalo and to the airport. Our flight was at 6 p.m.

I asked Calvin how his day was so far... expecting him to be pretty happy and excited for the trip.

Me(l): So... how was your day?

Calvin: It blew.

Me(l): Oh. Really. Because you had to miss your field trip to the Ontario Legislature in Toronto so we could make our flight?

Calvin: No, that part I was pretty happy about. Everyone was jealous that I didn't have to go. It was the stupid grade fours.

Me(l): What about them?

Calvin: I had to sit in their classroom and do homework the whole day because all the other fives were on the trip.

Me(l): So?

Calvin: Grade fours don't know anything.

Me(l): When compared to grade fives? You mean?

Calvin: Exactly.

Me(l): So you must have got all your homework done, right? So you probably don't have any to do on the plane?

Calvin: No. I still have homework. I didn't get it done today.

Me(l): Why not?

Calvin: I had to teach them all about life.

Mellyman: Melly, can you please phone the Border Wait Time number and see which way we should go.

Calvin: I'd take the Peace Bridge if I were you.

We ended up taking the Peace Bridge, too. And I called The General quickly from the car to tell her we were on our way.

Ring. Ring. Ring...ringalingaring. A ling. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. RINGRING.

Ring.

Ring.

(The General is slowing down and doesn't have an answering machine. If she's sitting downstairs it takes a while for her to get to the phone. The phone is cordless. Yet is always kept, answered and talked on, on the chair beside its base. Which is on the same table that the old phone with the cord used to be kept. What I'm saying here is that The General is an old dog. No new tricks.)

Riiiiiiiiing. RIng. RiNG.

The General: Hello.

Me(l): Where were you? In the john?

The General: MELANCHOLY! That's rude.

Me(l): Heh heh. Anywho... I'm just calling because we're on our way to the airport.

The General: You and who?

Me(l): Me, Gene Simmons, Bill Cosby, Bill Paxton and a boy named Sue. Me and Calvin and Mellyman.

The General: Your father had some Bill Cosby records. Remind me to give them to Calvin. He loved them.

Me(l): I remember. Ok. We're probably gonna give you a call from Florida when we get in so you don't worry.

The General: Are Beth and Tommy ok?

Me(l): Yeah. They're fine. Don't worry.

The General: Don't call tonight if it's during the news. I don't want to miss anything.

Me(l): Roger. Canadian election excitement. How will I live without it for five days?!

The General: I'm hanging up now.

Me(l): Why?

Click.


Heh heh.


By then we were almost at the border.


Which meant that it was time for me to check my packing list and carry on bag. To make sure I had everything we needed. Although I don't know why I bothered at this point. It was much too late to go back home and get anything we'd forgotten. I guess I just like being prepared. With the knowledge of what I'd forgotten. Instead of being surprised by it.

Passports?

Check.

Wallet?

Check.

I.d.?

Check.

Camera?

Check.

Double check!!!! Because the camera is crucial. I take many many many pictures on our trips. Most of them are HORRIBLE. Manymanymanymany are horrible. But, since I have so many, some are bound to be ok. This is a classic example of my mad photographic skillz:

Heh heh. As you can see: my head is partially cut off. And in the corner. Calvin's hair... and only his hair... is visible. And this is in Italy at EPCOT but it's real real hard to tell. However... and the upside... because the unintentional subject of the picture has a lovely back... it's a KEEPER!!!!

Heh heh.


Checked for a few more things and declared that, "We didn't forget anything!!!! Booyeah!!!! Baybeee!!!! At least I'm fairly sure we have everything."!!!!!

And we were ready for our Happyhaunt Halloweenie which would be "All about the food!". And THAT was OK with Me(l)!!!!

I love to eat and I love to eat in Disney. Love the Disney food. So that was all good with me, too. In fact, there is only ONE thing I love more than food... and it has three letters.

Yep. Three letters.

Y'all guess what it is?!

I'll give you some hints. It has three letters, I need it EVERYDAY and it makes my blood course and my heart beat.

That right!!! It's: AIR.

Love me some air.


There's also another thing that has three letters and I love and have to have at least ONCE a day.

Nuther hint... it can become a habit and I like it hot and steamy.

That's right!!!! It's: TEA.


Love me some good tea. Guv'ner.


So... I fooled around like this for a bit more in the van and then...



And then we were at the border.


And, then as is our traditional border-crossing threat, Mellyman was reminding Calvin and I not to say ANYTHING...not a THING! NOT A SINGLE THING. Not one thing.... unless we were asked directly. To our faces.

As usual. Or he'd kill us. Or just think about it. With a smile.

We made it across. And were at the airport by 4:20 p.m.


Yep. You heard me.


We're actually at the airport.

In Chapter Two Subsection B.


Well how about that?!!!


Cheers, Mel.

 

[Mrs. The King]

And, in case you were wondering, YES our cat talks exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And, in addition, he's a huge furry completely black neutered male(ish) cat.

Who crosses my path hundreds of times a day.

Most likely on purpose.

I love that

It sort of climbs up into our bed and snuggles up to me under the blankets smelling faintly of baby shampoo and then breathes a sweet familiar combination of baby teeth/big teeth morning breath in my face. It usually whispers, "Wakey uppy puppy!" and I usually whisper the very same thing back. Our alarm clock is named "Tommy". And I try to make the next, and first, 10 minutes or so of the day last a very very long time.

So sweet.




Glad to hear you made it to the airport

 

[samc]

just hope you packed last years collection of bama 'T's.........plus 2 or 10 new ones!

 

[PrincessV]

Mellyman: Melly, can you please phone the Border Wait Time number and see which way we should go.

Wait, wait, wait. There's an actual number you can call these days? Is this only available on the Canadian side?! I have many "fond"(ish) memories of sitting, and sitting, and sitting, mere blocks from my house, waiting to get across to Port. Colborne.

Yep. You heard me.


We're actually at the airport.

In Chapter Two Subsection B.

 

[EPRV We love Disney]

I took a quick shower but didn't have time to shave my legs. Which was actually a blessing in disguise b/c I hadn't decided what to wear yet. Which is kinda a big decision. Because... it's cold here when you leave. Both in Canada and in Buffalo at the airport. Then it's hot and stuffy on the plane and then cold and then hot and stuffy. Again. On the plane. Plus... it's HOTHOT once you actually land in Orlando and venture outside hauling your luggage and finding a rental car. After which we were planning on heading directly to DTD for a late dinner. Which is HOTHOTHOT. So... you definitely don't want to be overdressed and wear pants.

I decided on wearing pants. To travel.

Hee hee, this is me too. I think I made my last trip to Fl in capris and a parka. Just so I'd have all the bases covered. Or not.



Love the update!!

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

Me(l) who is only at the airport so far wrote:

And here's a good tip: They don't usually like to be awakened by song. Especially not by songs from the musical Grease. And super-especially not by their mom singing "Summer Nights". Both parts. But doing Danny's with a much higher voice.

Borg on that one Mel. I do it to my 13yr old DH all the time and she HATES it. No particular song, just hits from the 60's. But I will try Grease the next time! That ought to do it!

Hint: Always use the Peace Bridge. Always.

Glad you made it to the airport.

 

[AshClan]

Me(l) who is only at the airport so far wrote:

Borg on that one Mel. I do it to my 13yr old DH all the time and she HATES it. No particular song, just hits from the 60's. But I will try Grease the next time! That ought to do it!

Hint: Always use the Peace Bridge. Always.

Glad you made it to the airport.

YAK has a 13 year old DH? Who's a GIRL? How did I not know this?!?!?

I am in awe of your speediness, Mel. Granted, we're still not to the World, but what is this? Chapter 4? In about a week? VERY impressive!

Love the Tommy alarm clock!

 

[stinkerbell007]

Mel's back! Yay.

YAY!!!

Good times.....

 

[javamom]

I am pathetic. Somehow I suspect it would be the height of hilarity to actually witness one of these border crossings. It would be funny whether it was something that Mel sad or if was just to see the look on Mellyman's face as he wonders that is going to happen.

 

[LaLa]

Last edited by AshClan : Yesterday at 05:27 PM. Reason: BTW. Have you heard? The Maelstrom crew is going to be aunts and uncles. Our 1st Maelstrom baby!!! Can you guess who?

ZZUB?

Mel, loved the latest. I, too, am shocked that you're already at the airport. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Bring it on, sister.

The visual of the Beth goodbye in the school foyer was really sweet. But where can I get an alarm clock like that? At first I thought it was the cat who was waking you up.

Or did I?

You still make me laugh harder than any human should, Mel. Which is a good thing. A good thing indeed.

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

YAK has a 13 year old DH? Who's a GIRL? How did I not know this?!?!?

It's a Canadian thing AshClan.......

Mel please don't let them in on the secret.

Hope you had a good field trip - and get back at it please!

 

[praisehisname]

Loving the report so far, Me(l)! You always make me laugh!

Denise

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Dirty pool, old man. I like it! Gomez would be so proud you started a new unfinished TR.

um... I would have been here sooner... but I was in WDW! Thanks for starting without me.

Glad to see you back, Mel.

Please continue...

Hey there!!! Luckily for YOU... being in WDW is the only acceptable excuse for not being here sooner.

Unless you were busy joining some lame fanclub. (Hi La!)

Or burning jello. (Hi La!)

Brushing your tooth. (La, Hello!)

Training your 'fro. (La my la!)

Or taking your massive feral cat named Elvis to get dewormed. (La, baby!)

Or else... actually reading a better trippie. (Again...La. Dammit!)

And if Gomez likes dirty pools... he's welcome to come to our place for a swim. In what we call our lil' Ganges. River...errr... Love Canal...errr... moat...errrr...pool.

I'm feeling left out that our voting is over now in Canada.

How about we start a vote on making "Alot" the canadian version of a lot?

DONE!!!! I like that alot!!!! Makes MY life easier.

It must be a Canadian thing.....I do that alot too!

Yeah... we also apologize a lot... alotlot... too, eh.

Anywho... sorry about spelling alot properly up there.

Glad to hear you made it to the airport

Mrs. TK!!! Good to see ya again. Glad you're reading along. Sorry that you're still reading along, too, because it's slightly lamish so far. Yeah. Sorry about that. Also. Sorry I spell so brutally. Sorry that...

What the hell? Am I. Writing. Here?

just hope you packed last years collection of bama 'T's.........plus 2 or 10 new ones!

I don't have any new Bama T's. But I DID pack a new shirt in honour of our trip. You'll have to wait and see just what it is.

Sorry about that.

Wait, wait, wait. There's an actual number you can call these days? Is this only available on the Canadian side?! I have many "fond"(ish) memories of sitting, and sitting, and sitting, mere blocks from my house, waiting to get across to Port. Colborne.

There's a number now. It's very exciting. It's for BOTH sides. I have no idea what it is right now tho. It's in Mellyman's cell, tho.

Sorry.

CRAP!!!!!

Anywho... it makes the crossing much less stressful.

Oh... small world... 'cause I did a little growing up in Port. Colborne. too.

Hee hee, this is me too. I think I made my last trip to Fl in capris and a parka. Just so I'd have all the bases covered. Or not.



Love the update!!

Word. Baybee. Thanks for reading along.

Me(l) who is only at the airport so far wrote:

Borg on that one Mel. I do it to my 13yr old DH all the time and she HATES it. No particular song, just hits from the 60's. But I will try Grease the next time! That ought to do it!

Hint: Always use the Peace Bridge. Always.

Glad you made it to the airport.

Thanks Yak! I agree... Peace Bridge is generally the shortest wait time. It's empowering to be able to check tho.

YAK has a 13 year old DH? Who's a GIRL? How did I not know this?!?!?

I am in awe of your speediness, Mel. Granted, we're still not to the World, but what is this? Chapter 4? In about a week? VERY impressive!

Love the Tommy alarm clock!

Hey Ash!!! I love me some Tommyclock too.

In all fairness to Yak... I think Demi Moore has a 13 yr. old DH too.

Mel's back! Yay.

YAY!!!

Good times.....

Thanks Stinker!!!

I am pathetic. Somehow I suspect it would be the height of hilarity to actually witness one of these border crossings. It would be funny whether it was something that Mel sad or if was just to see the look on Mellyman's face as he wonders that is going to happen.

Poor Mellyman. Java... I'm a bad, bad man.

I'm sorry I stress him out with my childish games and make his arm itch.


Oh. Ok.

No I'm not.

ZZUB?

Mel, loved the latest. I, too, am shocked that you're already at the airport. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Bring it on, sister.

The visual of the Beth goodbye in the school foyer was really sweet. But where can I get an alarm clock like that? At first I thought it was the cat who was waking you up.

Or did I?

You still make me laugh harder than any human should, Mel. Which is a good thing. A good thing indeed.

La!!!! ZZUB's not pregnant. He just looks that way.

Also... ZZUB's not dead. He just smells that way.

Also... ZZUB's not french. He just acts that way.

Also... ok... there's WAY too many to go. On.

Although... this IS pretty fun for Me(l). And...now that I think about it... wasn't he lactating in EPCOT in one chapter in Battle Four?!!!

Actually, if I had to guess I'd say the pregnant one is: Pongo.

That'd be my guess.

But either Chapster or Grammy are strong second guesses.

You know what, La??? YOU... make ME(L) laugh harder than any person should, too.

Well...ZZUB makes me laugh pretty hard as well.

But... YOU... you, I like.


Heh heh.

It's a Canadian thing AshClan.......

Mel please don't let them in on the secret.

Hope you had a good field trip - and get back at it please!

GREAT field trip!!!! It was SO much fun spending time on a bus full of grade 8's. And now I know what "sick" means.

So that was sick.

As for the actual educational portion of the trip... well... that totally blew.

Snorzzzzzzzzzzzing. Borzzzzing. And lameish.

Made me wish I was somewhere else. Listening to absolutely anything else.

Even Sarah Palin.

Loving the report so far, Me(l)! You always make me laugh!

Denise

Thanks, Denise.

I like your name.

Actually...both of them.


Now then, I didn't get around to adding to this story today b/c I had a ton of stupid crap to do. And I have to run out, again, now.

However... I WILL be adding to this wreck of a trippie tomorrow so please stay tuned.

Cheers, Melly.

 

[askelton]

Plus I needed to get litter for the catbox because the storage room in the basement smelled strongly of poo. And also the cat needed food because I realized today that we were out of the stuff he likes and when I tried to feed him from the emergency katkibble supply he looked at me like, "What the hell is that?!". And then he looked at me harder... like, "No more games, housepet." And, finally, when he realized I wasn't gonna pony up the Tender Beef Feast he walked away with one more look over his shoulder which said, "Maybe I can get even."

Apparently they all learn this at cat college.

And here's a good tip: They don't usually like to be awakened by song. Especially not by songs from the musical Grease. And super-especially not by their mom singing "Summer Nights". Both parts. But doing Danny's with a much higher voice.

Uh wella wella wella huh tell me more tell me more

How can she not like this song?

We're actually at the airport.

In Chapter Two Subsection B.

 

[Muffinygood]

Thanks for the welcome, a few pages back! Loving your TR so far.

Mel (other Mel...)

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. To Me(l).

I'm quite familiar and comfortable with the Chaos Theory. In fact, for the most part, that's the manner in which my mind operates. And often it's the way the Happyhaunt family and household runs. And it DOES tend to work for us. For the most part. And the upside is: it forces us to have a sense of humour. And laugh. When we should cry.

We laugh alot.

And sometimes we sport big 'ol "HOLYCRAP!" eyes. Of horror. While laughing.

It's like a couple of months ago, right before the end of the last school year, when we... read "I"...was running late one typical Happyhaunt morning getting the kids all ready for school. Noting the bell was about to ring I threw their lunchbags at them. A quick snap to Tommy at the sink, a lateral handoff to Beth on the way to the foyer and for Calvin, who was already standing at the front door, I heaved his like John Elway from the kitchen. Completely forgetting the first rule of lunchbag football which is: If your football has a chocolate pudding cup in it... you should go for the shovel pass as one is heading for his knapsack. Instead. Anywho... we were out the door pretty fast and jumped into the 'ol van. Fired it up, backed up and flew down the street. Noting that something felt and sounded off... I slowed down. And realized there was something indeed... VERY wrong. Crap. I thought it was probably the tire. So I decided to keep going. But... slowlierish...b/c it was late. Got them to school. And took a look at the tire.

HOLYCRAP!!! The tire was kinda shredded and shot to hell. The rim was completely screwed.

(Big 'ol "Holycrap!" eyes.)

Then I realized I'd probably been driving around on a flat ALL DAY yesterday but I'd been cranking the tunes and hadn't noticed anything was wrong.

(Started to laugh. But thought real hard about crying. Instead.)

Then I called CAA and also decided to make something Mellyman REALLY LOVES. For dinner.

Where was I?

Oh.

Bunnytrail.

What I'm trying to say is this: Chaos can be comfortingly normal.

I think.

Ok.

We're at the airport now. Mellyman pulls up to the curb beside the Air Tran checkin area and unloads all our stuff. I count 2 bags, 1 carryon, 1 Calvin knapsack and my purse. It's all good.

We all hug and kiss. And say our good-byes. And our be-safes. And our have-funs. And I remind Mellyman to bring Tommy's three spare epipens along camping. And make sure he's wearing his fanny pack avec epipen at all times.

Mellyman rolls his eyes. Hard. In fact they actually spin in his eyesockets like he's a slot machine.

It's because I've already reminded him about the epipens about 77 times so far on the drive.

He assures me he won't forget them. He also tells me that he realizes that I will pick up the phone in three hours to remind him AGAIN. And that I'm a freak.

But he loves me anyways.

I laugh and pull him down for another kiss... b/c he knows Me(l) so well. And also because he called me a mean name lovingly. Which I like.

Calvin is now rolling his eyes like a slot machine and says, "Would you guys stop! It's really gross. And you're too old!!!!!"!

Mellyman gets in the van and drives away waving. I'm sure he's all atingle with the knowledge that for the next five days or so he's a free free FREE man.

With two kids. In tow.

Heh heh.

Calvin and I join the Air Tran line to check our bags.

Before we know it another family joins the line behind us. They have four... count 'em... FOUR little kids with them. And I mean... young, little kids. There's a baby in a stroller, twins who couldn't be more than four years old and the oldest was probably about six.

They were going to WDW too. We know this because Calvin asked the oldest child almost immediately.

He asked in his Donald Duck voice.

The kids liked that. And so he continued doin' the Duck for the entire time in the line.

He made the kids laugh. So I guess that was good. They were pretty busy watching him perform and didn't notice that it was taking FOREVER to get to the desk.

I noticed that the line wasn't moving. And the kids' parents noticed that the line wasn't moving. And that we were standing there forever. Listening to Donald Duck. Talk. And spit. All over their kids.

It was all good tho. Because I think they were already pretty stressed...at least they looked stressed... just getting themselves and their stuff to the airport. But now... Calvin was getting them in the magical Disney mood.

I hope.

Heh heh.

Calvin has a knack for voices. And noises. He can imitate people and sounds pretty darn well. He does his whole Koala thing still. Where he has noises and even a whole language of strange sounds which mean different things. In Koala language. Calvin Koala language... that is.

Because I'm sure he has NO IDEA what a real koala sounds like.

They are not native to Canada.

We know a WHOLE lot about what bloody RACCOONS sound like, tho. When they're dumping your trash cans, pooping in your garage, systematically destroying your campsite and opening and closing your old creaky empty cooler lid a thousand times. In the dead of night.

The other thing Calvin does a lot is Barry White. Yep. The Barry White voice. This one cracks me up. Hugely. He sounds exactly like Barry White. No joke. The voice is deep bass and smooth as velvet. And it's HI-LARIOUS. Coming out of this little 10 year old kid's mouth. And it doesn't matter what the heck he says in that voice it makes it sound way funny.

And also dirty.

Which also cracks me up.

If I'm honest. Here.


Alrighty... so we check our two bigger bags and get our boarding passes and find out which gate we're at. We head towards security. There's no line here, thankfully, so we go right up and are directed to put all our stuff into bins. My carryon bag, purse, our coats, his knapsack and our shoes. Calvin goes through the metal detector.

Which goes off. He doesn't notice and keeps walking. The security guard calls him back. He doesn't notice b/c he's checking out all our stuff coming out of the x-ray machine thingie.

I call him, "Calvin!". He turns. I say, "Come back through here again before they release the hounds."

He comes back.

He has a belt on which he removes and it goes into a bin. He goes back through. And he's all good. I go through just fine as well.

And we re-gather our stuff and head for the washrooms. I tell him to use the men's room and then wait for me beside the ladies' room door. Right beside it. Directly beside it. Standing directly right... THERE. I point to a spot. Capish????!!!!! Calvin????!!!

Barry White says, "I'll be chillin' right here."

I head into the ladies room.

When I finish and head back out... Barry White says, "HUNGRY!".

I say, "How hungry? 'Cause I thought you wanted to eat at Downtown Disney later?"

Barry White says, "Dinnertime HUNGRY."

Well... I guess that makes sense as it was after 5:00pm. And he hadn't had anything in the van on the ride here. Because, honestly, you don't really want to have to eat in our van. Or even breath deeply. That's because we think there's something rotting in it. Somewhere.

Again.

I hadn't had much to eat either, to tell the truth. I'd had coffee, an apple and a quick tour of the Costco Buffet circuit when I was out doing my errands earlier in the day. I was hungry too. But I really wanted to wait and eat later once we were in WDW.

He decided on a small salad, a bag of salt n' malt chips and a Sprite. Which cost nearly one hundred dollars at the airport grab n' go.

Ok. It wasn't one hundred dollars. But it WAS OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive. And it should be called the airport "Gawk N' Shock". At the prices.

Instead.

It was all good, tho. I guess because it was warming us up for the Disney Prices.

Oh.

Looky at the time... I gotta fly to the school for a bit.

I'll come back later and continue this tho.

Later, Melly.

 

[jamal]

Did the chocolate pudding survive? We learned that lesson about a month ago when a Yoplait suished itself right out of A's brown lunch bag, wrapped itself around his $150 calculator, and never recovered despite some loving hours with a Qtip.

I am very familiar with Holycarp Eyes. I blame them for the crevices between my brows.

 

[Mrs. The King]

This reply will be done entirely in interpretive smilies.

But... slowlierish...b/c it was late. Got them to school. And took a look at the tire.

(Big 'ol "Holycrap!" eyes.)

Mellyman rolls his eyes. Hard. In fact they actually spin in his eyesockets like he's a slot machine.

<---this one looks like a dying spider. Oops I am not supposed to type. Excuse me.

He asked in his Donald Duck voice.

I call him, "Calvin!". He turns. I say, "Come back through here again before they release the hounds."

Barry White says, "I'll be chillin' right here."

I head into the ladies room.

When I finish and head back out... Barry White says, "HUNGRY!".

I say, "How hungry? 'Cause I thought you wanted to eat at Downtown Disney later?"

Barry White says, "Dinnertime HUNGRY."

I hadn't had much to eat either, to tell the truth. I'd had coffee, an apple and a quick tour of the Costco Buffet circuit when I was out doing my errands earlier in the day.

 

[AshClan]

Oh Melly, you are the Queen. And the King (NOMTK). Too.

Chaos is good. Adds character. Shredded tires, not so much. Hope that didn't cost you as much as I know it did.

I love Calvin as Barry White. Even a 10 year old can't help sounding dirty when they're doing Barry, I guess. Jami, doesn't Shrek do Donald Duck too? Maybe he and Calvin can have a contest some day.

Thanks for fittin' us into your busy schedule Mel! You definitely brighten up my day.

Oh, and Pongo's a good guess, but not a right one. Grammy is now a grammyof3, but I don't think she's planning to get prego herself. Not any time soon, anyhoo. Chappie...mmmm, that could be. But he's not the one I was referring to. Think blonde bombshell with an affinity for fruit.....