GUESS WHO'S COMING TO FREE DINNER, or, Feeding Nebo,,,,completed

[nebo]

"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Phil, Dr. Howard."
I can see the look, nope, he knows that he's not going to like what I'm going to tell him.

"Yes, Dr. Nebo, what can I do for you?"

AUGUST, SOMETHING, 2006

"Yeah, Phil, I need a vacation form again."

" OH, wait!, Let me guess. ( read, smirk on his face),
" You're driving down to Disney again?"

"NO, of coarse not. We just did that in May."

"Oh! Great, glad to hear it."
" So where are you going this time?"


" We're flying down to Disney this trip."


Yep, that's the way it happened. I am a Disneyholic, and she is right there with me.
If there was a 12 step program for Disney, I would be on step 15.
"Steve, stop sniffing that envelope, it's just a Disney visa card offer."

As some of you know, I have just finished a May trip report.
And it was the Mother of all trips for us.
There was so much crazyness going on, it wasn't hard to write a trippy for it.
This trip, was just a week.

But, I promise you, I will do my best to keep you entertained, informed, (well, from stuff I have noticed), and hopefully, we can have a few laughs along the way.

 

[nebo]

You see, it happened like this.

It was April, as usual, I was slaving my but off making our bills, and she was up there in the " loft", where the computer is.
Yes, I still laugh when I think about the house platt calling this little "hole" , a loft.

Well, right in the middle of the att bill and com ed, I heard this scream from upstairs.
She has this glazed look in her eye.
Just mumbling,,freeding,,, freedinging, feedining.
"Huh? you mean they are now offering free dining?"

"Yes, well, no."
"It's for September, October."

Ok, " Diane, DIANE?"
So, that was that.
And we booked it.
7 nights at Caribbean Beach.

I take it back, she is on step 15 also.

Now, there you have it. This trip was set up before we even went on our huge may trip.

And we did do the may trip, and all was fine with the world.

Ok, I guess it's time to bore a bunch of you to death that read the first trip. So, while I'm writing the "catch up", go vote for Alfead E. Newman or something.

My name is Steve, aka, Nebo.
This is my wife, Diane, aka, Smidgy.

We are both empty nesters,, (well gee, I would hope so, since you're married.)
Now, you see, Diane is my second wife. And, dare I say, much nicer than my first wife.
Ever since I had her circuits replaced.

Ah, I see the confusion on your faces.
You see, Diane, Smidgy, was also my first wife.
We were married in 78, divorced in 99,,,,,,,
and then I moved to this little town called Stepford.
We hung around, went to Disney, and got remarried in 03.

She's really much nicer than my first wife.
She likes to tell me that she had me replaced too.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, right.

Though I stll can't explain why I have this craving for WD-40 in the middle of the night.

Ok, our reservations were set, now, just gotta try to talk the kids into going with us.

Didn't happen.
One son couldn't afford it, even with us threatening to pay for it.
Other son wanted to go to Vegas with his wife and 5 other friends.

guess who lost out on that deal.

So, this reservation just sat there. And sat there.
A few weeks after we got back, I reminded her about the sept. booking.
And we both decided, no, no, and no no.
Can't do it.
Too much.

Yeah, uh-huh, gotta work on it.
We wanted to go back to to CBR, that was the first place we ever stayed at back in 92, and we just loved it there. Although, every time back, we felt like we had to try different resorts, I'm sure you know the feeling.
Including this trip, here's our resume.

92 7 nights, cbr
94 7 nights dixie landings,,,,,,,,, yes, dixie, not POR
02 3 nights akl 4 nights asmovies
03 1 night,,, (don't ask) assports
03 7 nights asmusic
05 3 nights dolphin
05 3 nights riverside,,,, mansion section
06 3 nights french quarter
06 4 nights wilderness lodge
06 3 nights pop
and current, 7 nights pop

So, one night when she was at work, I got on the Disney line and started changing things.

Called her at work.
She just loves that.
"Honey, those couple of nights that we stayed at Pop, did you like it there?"
"Yeah, it was nice, I'm really busy now, though".


"Ok, just wondering."

So, I got on the phone, and called Disney.
I changed the cbr to pop, added the preferred 60"s section, and a fridge.
Now, even with these Pop "upgrades", we are still saving about 350 bucks, by not staying at CBR.
With September rates, and FREE DINING, It's just over a thousand with park tickets included.
Called her back.
"You're either with me, or against me."
"Huh?"
"Steve, I told you I was really busy tonight."
"Yeaaaaahhhhhhh, see you when you get home."

She said she coulda killed me when I hung up the phone that way.
But I stayed up. And she came home. And we talked. And we are going back to Disney baby.

 

[ekball]

Oh I am SO on board!

 

[nebo]

So, we are all set to "save" money, by transferring our stay to Pop.
Only one problem here.
We don't have any money to "save".

The last few years have been brutal financially.
TWO, not one, but two, sons getting married.
And then there is that little problem at work.
You see, everything you can possibly do wrong with a company, my owner did it.
In 1997, we had 144 people working for us. In two, separate buildings, two separate towns.
Then, the pay cuts hit.
And the layoffs.
And that pattern repeated.
And repeated.

We are now down to 12 of us. Yep, from 144.
And I have been there 26 years.

There is almost no doubt, the company is going under.
Yeah, shouldn't have taken the may trip,,,,,,, but we needed it.

Ok, let me finish introductions here.
Diane, Smidgy, is my wife. she just turned fifty, and loves Disney as much as I do.
I, am Steve, aka, Nebo. The incredibly handsome, witty, charming, down-to earth and fun loving guy that is your host on this trip.

Wow! Even my cat is hissing at me for that last sentence.

So, because of work, we were ready to cancel the sept. trip.
But, I couldn't do that. I still had vacation time coming, and after totalling it all up, !!!!!! A WEEK IN DISNEY, WITH FREE FOOD? FOR 15OO, INCLUDING AIR FARE? WE,,,,,,,,,,, ARE ,,,,,,,,, THERE,,,,,,, screw the job.

The whole work fiasco was , and still is, so "Owner Orientated", that there was nothing I could do about it.
If I had any brains, I would have bailed out a long time ago.
Only problem is, now, the Titanic is going down, and all the life boats have left.
Even Molly Brown quit 4 months ago.
But we are going. to Disney.

I think.
No stopping us now.
Maybe.

Boy, guess I'd be in big trouble if the owner read this stuff.
Not worried.
He can't read.

Ok, got most of the "catch up" taken care of, tomorrow, we just have fun.

 

[smidgy]

ok, guess I should have added some more WD40. I CAN'T BELIEVE Nebo left out:.... Coronado Springs sept. 05, our first time taking 2 trips in one year (our friends thought we were nuts) our first experience with flying down and our first experience with free dining! the WHOLE reason we were so enamored with the free dining offer again in 06!
oboy! I remembered something he didn't! you all have to understand; living with Nebo is like living with a combination of an encyclopedia, The Book of Lists, and all 12 or more editions of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. he is the trivia king! the keeper of the archives of all useless (and sometimes useful) trivia. there is No arguing with Nebo. all our friends ask HIM if they want to know who wrote a song,(and what song was on the flip side) who played in what movie, which team beat what back in 1964, etc. Do you know that man can name every winner of the Kentucky Derby for the last 30 years without blinking an eye? and he FORGOT about one of our best trips?!?
well, I just reminded him, and he gave me PERMISSION to "fix it". And now I have. I have one up one him... yay!
No. we're not competitive at all.... you just don't want to be around when we play scrabble, or Shout about the movies, Or any other game, for that matter. It's brutal and we take No prisoners! we are cutthroat. the only time we don't compete with each other is charades, because we are an unbeatable team. guess it's cause we can read each other's minds( as scary as that can be) we always win
okay Nebo resume your trip report. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!

 

[smidgy]

when nebo called me at work with his abbreviated "with me or against me"... I have to set the stage. I am a bartender. I am mixing up a Long Island Iced Tea, someone wants a square on the football pool (for amusement only), someone else wants a bowl of our homemade chili (with cheese and onion), a third person wants the jukebox turned up while another wants the volume on ESPN on the TV. the owner,( who is 80 years old and her house is connected to the bar) is waiting for me to put drops in her eyes at 9PM - our job description is really weird.. then she wants to "talk" a bit, and I have to tell her, "um, you pay me to serve your guests... they're waiting... I can't talk right now" and THEN ... the phone rings... nebo. get the picture?
BUT!!! it sounds like.. WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY!

 

[lexmelinda]

You guys are cute! I'm in!

 

[pumba]

me too.........I want to go to Disney too.........oh wait I am going .....in a month or so........I LOVE DISNEY.......we dont do anything else that is bad.....so why not this...
Anxious for the rest of your vacation

 

[nebo]

All you guys that read the first trip report? Remember what a "whiner" I ended up being? Well, you aint seen nuthin yet folks. Gonna put that first whiner to shame in the trippy.

The first trip was probably rated pg.

This one is getting an R.
For crude humor, sexual innuendo, drug use, nudity, and stuff that might make you want to throw up.

I just threw in the nudity for laughs.

"Hey!, got your attention didn't it?"

So, first chapter summary, we are broke, still paying off the may trip, but going again anyway.

And I'm still down to 4 days a week at work.
4 days a week doesn't pay the bills, much less pay for an extra Disney trip.

So, we are going. That's it. Final.
Now, all we have to do is get there.

Now, again, from the first trippy, you know I like to drive.
Don't like to fly.
My problem here is, there is no reason to drive. We save money by driving by bringing our own food.
And drinks.
But, with free dining, no need to bring food.

So, no need to drive either.
And no Universal this trip, so, no need to drive.
Magical Express.

Ok, Ok, we fly.

This is going to take a lot out of my pre-trip activities though.
I always make special CD's for the drive down.
Always themed, love to see the smile on her face when we hit Kentucky and Jiminy Cricket is introducing Wishes.

Yeah, right.
"Can you lower that?" "I was just falling asleep here."

But, we're flying.

I really hate flying. I just don't belong.
I guarantee, someone is going to yell at me before I get off the plane.
I have only flown twice before in my life.
On our honeymoon in '78,,,,,,, THE FIRST ONE, and last year to Disney, for free dining at Coranado Springs.
Which I somehow left out of the resume.

I thought I would be better this trip, having just done it last year.
"NOT"
I just feel so helpless in a plane. You know, everything is out of my control.
Last year I wanted to go into the cockpit and help them.
" Hey! Do you see that cloud over there? I'm not sure that he sees you, you want to keep an eye on that thing."

The thing with flying is it's WIN the jackpot, or lose.
NO middle ground.
You either get where you're going ,
Or you're dead.
No fender benders in the sky.

Oh! And if you do end up being a lucky survivor after an airline "mishap",
You end up in the Everglades, with a gator chewing on your knee.

Or, in the Andes Mountains, with soccer players chewing on your knee.

But, we're flying anyway, taxi is coming at 4:30, and I will be ready.

 

[nebo]

Hey!, I got a Pumba with the trippy, welcome, glad to have you, and got a feeling it's the last I hear from you after this next installment.

Ok, let the whining begin.

About 2 weeks before the trip, I had to go see my doctor for more blood pressure medicine, you know, refills.
And painkiller medicine. For my foot.
I crushed the foot a few years back, an accident at work, well, five operations later, it's as good as it's going to get, but it still is screwed up.
Ergo, the vikes.

So, during our 5 minutes meeting, he suggests that since I haven't had a physical in ages, he wants to run some blood tests.

Ok, fine by me. I have a physical every fifty years, whether I need one or not.
Just as long as I don't see you putting those plastic gloves on.

No. Don't worry about it, he tells me.
Now you can check your prostrate through a blood test.
" Great!"
He says, " If everything checks out ok, you won't hear from us, if not, we will notify you."
" Great!"
I'm happy, this is the first time I ever heard about checking your prostrate through blood work.

I'm still a virgin.

Yes, even though I'm going on 52, I have never had my prostrate checked.
I know, bad Nebo.
Just something I always avoided.
And did it well.

Came close one time, a few years ago.
I was ready.
He put on the gloves.
I was nervous.
He dimmed the lights.
I was more nervous.
He lit some candles.
I was shaking.

It was when he put the Johnny Mathis CD in that I finally bolted.

From that point on, my line was always,,,,
" Hey, why don't you tell me what you're looking for, and I'll tell you if it's up their or not"

Back to the present, one day before we leave on this trip, I get mail.
"Welcome, you've got Mail!"
As I am ripping open any thing that looks like a bill to pay it before we go, I see a letter from my doctor.
Rip it open, thinking it's another bill, then stop dead in my tracks.

"Hi Steve, we have been trying to contact you, but been unsuccessful, so we have sent you this letter. You need to contact our office immediately, concerning your blood test results.

And that's as far as I got.

Nope, not now. Not playing.

I got the fingers out of my ears, and quit saying, " LA LA LAL LAL LA," just before she walked in.
Whatever it is, it can wait.
One more week.

Probably just about my cholesterol. Wouldn't surprise me at all if it's high.
But my brain is picturing Gary Cooper sitting there saying, "Tell me doc, is it 3 strikes?"

So that envelope goes on the bottom of the pile, and I get back to packing for the morning.

Well, that's it for tonight, there will be some photos along with this trip, still have to have them put on disk and then downloaded. But trust me, what I have written about so far, you don't want photos.
Thanks for those that have responded, always appreciated, and it sometimes gives me, and you, fodder to tease each other on. night,

 

[lexmelinda]

Oh! And if you do end up being a lucky survivor after an airline "mishap",
You end up in the Everglades, with a gator chewing on your knee.
Or, in the Andes Mountains, with soccer players chewing on your knee.

Hilarious installments, nebo.

 

[monymony3471]

Hi Wanted to let you know that I was here reading and laughing along.

 

[VanniGirl]

Great report - looking forward to reading the rest!

 

[team weasel]

Enjoying so far! Can't wait for the next installment!

 

[tiggerbell]

YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Nebo's back - I have a reason to go on!!!

 

[nebo]

hi tiggerbell, we missed you.
Now, if I can only get my wing man Hound, back at his 3 O'clock position, all would be right with the trip report.

It's time. It is 4 o'clock in the morning, and we are staggering around, trying to do what needs to be done without getting in each other's way.

I suppose we live in a strange townhouse.
We actually have more bathrooms, than bedrooms.
And I like it that way.
That's a good thing.
Although, I'm not quite sure how I lost the master bedroom bath to her, and now have the one down the hall.
Then there's the "powder room " downstairs, that in 6 years I have been in twice.
And that was to unclog the sink.

Anyway, the one thing we don't have to deal with at home is the,, " Are you almost done?" "How much longer?"

And this early morning feels really strange to me. Yes, I am up early most days, but this trip felt like it sneaked up on me.
Once me made all our dinner ressies, and marked down all the park hours and emh hours, wasn't much left to do.
Had no reason to even make up a new cd.
Couldn't picture myself banging on the cockpit door and handing the pilot my CD, saying, " Ok, time to crank this sucker up".

So , ten minutes before the cab arrives, we're doing the checklist.
" aspirin? check
confirmations? check
Ibuprofen? ck
vicodin? ck
boarding passes? ck
blood pressure meds? ck
immodium? ck ( hey, we're on the dining plan, cant be too safe.)
vicodin? ?????/ ok, she's done playing. I start carrying the stuff to the end of the driveway, and the taxi pulls up.
We have 3 suitcases, and 2 small carry ons.

When Diane sees the taxi, she is now happy as a lark, whatever that means.
She is just scared to death that we might miss our flight, and didn't trust the taxi service to show up when they were supposed to.

I think if it was up to her, we would have slept that night at O'hare.
But, the cab is here, and we load up.
And it's pouring out. As they are throwing stuff in the trunk, I quick run back in and do the double check. Yes, everything is OFF. You know, lights, oven, water heater set to low, doors locked, and extra litter boxes set out.
Cats haven't been speaking to us since yesterday anyway, once they saw the luggage come out. They know.

The final check does wonders for the mind when you get forty miles down the road. No, "did I leave the toaster plugged in?" "Oven on?"
Any of that.

I climb in and we are on are way.
Our flight leaves at 7:05 from ORD, and lands at 10:35, MCO.
Now, I've already got a problem with that ticket. O'hare is ORD? and Orlando International Airport is MCO?
Fine, who makes up these abbreviations anyway?

This whole morning seems still, very strange to me. Kinda like waking up from a dream, and you don't know where you are.
Once we start moving it all seems to settle back in to me.
Yeah, we really shouldn't be taking this trip, but we are anyway, and no stopping it now.

As Robert Frost might have said, this would have been " The Trip not Taken"
And right then I stopped feeling guilty, a weeklong trip to Disney, on site, with airfare and park passes, and all the food you can possibly eat, for 1500 dollars? NOPE. You can't beat it.

Ever since Ponce de Leon discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, and sold the rights to Walt Disney, I'm not passing this kind of deal up.
And neither is Diane.

 

[nebo]

Finally, on our way.
I ask the cabbie if we can smoke in here. No, not for Diane, that's the last thing she would want to do at this time, ,,,,for me.
Because I am a borderline nervous wreck about the whole flying thing.
And I know there is nowhere to smoke at the airport, and certainly not on the plane. So my next smoke is coming in Orlando.
The cabbie says sure you can smoke. But there are no ashtrays. I tried cracking the window, but both the ashes and pouring rain were hitting me in the face so I gave it up.

Now, our cabbie, well , he like to talk.
At four thirty in the morning, he liked to talk.

I asked Diane if she was worried about being claustrophic this time.

He answered.
"NO, I have driven these cabs for a long time now, I'm used to it.

ahhh

Then I asked her if she's looking forward to the "Hoop de do Review".
She started to answer, and he said, "Not sure, is that at the All-State Arena?"
We haven't even reached the expressway yet.
When nobody answered him, he then said it.

You know. It.
"Are you talking to me?"

I cringed.
Please tell me I didn't here that right.
I caught Diane's eye and it was all we could do to keep from busting up.
I kept expecting him to then go into a long, drawn out immitation, ,,but, he never did.
After a bit, I honestly don't think he realized what he said.
Which is a good thing.
Truthfully, I never saw that movie, "Taxi Driver", mostly because I was ready to scream every time somebody went into the " You talkin to me" chant from it.

However, our cabbie didn't need anyone to talk to him.
He was going to talk anyway.

We learned about his 2 kids, that he gets to see every other weekend.
And how the coke he did cost him his marriage.
Not because he had a problem, but they couldn't afford it.
And how he hasn't had a drink now in 6 years.
Except for last night, just a couple "social drinks".
It was incredible the stuff he was telling us.
I checked a few times to make sure her seat belt was on.
If the ride had been any longer, I think he might have been on the "grassy knoll", in Dallas.
I have to give him credit though, he did a fine job driving in the pouring rain.

We got to the airport about ten after five. Our flight is at 7:05.
Now, I'm the one looking daggers at my wife.

Trust me she says, by the time we get through all we have to do here, there won't be that much time left.

It does take us a few minutes to find the counter we need to check in at.
Diane shows the boarding passes, and the woman shows us where to drop off our "checked" baggage.

We drop off the 3 bags, and head to the dreaded , take off all your clothes, not messing around, personal, check yourselves in, security checkpoint.
Well, ok, we didn't have to take our clothes off, but we did have to take our shoes off.

This now took another 5 minutes, and 20 seconds.
We are down at the terminal, (gate)? with about an hour and 45 minutes yet to kill.

Now, I have to pause her for a second and tell you something about me.

I seem to have this strange affliction. And that is that when I get nervous, and I mean really nervous, I have to be doing something.
If I am unable to really do anything, anything at all, I will make dumb jokes.
Yes, like the cabbie we just had, the more nervous I get, the more I talk.
And sometimes LOUDLY.
I was nervous when we left. The cabbie didn't help things. Neither did the rain.
And I STILL don't like flying.
Especially in the rain.

So after sitting about 36 seconds in the chair by our gate, I tell her I'm going to take a walk.
Oh, I walked. I saw a place just opening that served alcohol, but I kept on walking. Yeah, I thought about it.

And ended up getting a big coffee at a Macdonalds.
Like I said, I'm new to flying. But it seemed like there was an entire city hidden down there in the airport.

When I saw the sign, "Welcome to Hammond", I knew it was time to turn around. But, to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure where I came from.
Ok, found my way back, she told me she was starting to worry about me, I said, " Yeah, me too."

We've still got over 40 minutes left and she says she's going to look for a newspaper and make a pit stop.

Fine.
It gives me a chance to search for terrorists that might be getting on board.

She comes back with a newspaper in her hands.
"This was the last one I could find, all the other machines were empty."

"HOLY COW!" I look at the font.
"What is that, the King James Version?"

"ASTORS FEARED DEAD, ALONG WITH 1500 ON TITANIC DISASTER!
"KAISOR WILHELM NAMED "TIME' MAN OF THE YEAR."
"CUBS SAY BIG CHANGES COMING AFTER DISSAPOINTING SEASON."

Well, hmmm, maybe the paper wasn't that old after all.

hey guys, gotta run now, I'm taillights. see you soon, gotta get the few pics I have on disk and download them, and re-download them into Photobucket, so I can post them. And trust me, I'm not good at this.
night

 

[dopeyfanatic]

Very entertaining trip report! Can't wait to hear the rest of it. You're a crack up! Remind of my dad

 

[jluvsdis]

Hi Nebo. Loved your last tripee, can't wait to read this one.

 

[lexmelinda]

Hilarious! Ready for the update....Jodie Foster???