Day 2 (the first full day of the holiday) started as such days do: ridiculously early. At 4 am I am again pondering imponderables and trying to remember long lost facts learnt at school
the second verse of the National Anthem starts, Stars in their diadem...what comes next and what exactly is a diadem? Why cant I remember? Oh yes, its a Crown or a headband
why do I think its a spider? I doze, wake and watch TV and we eventually get out of bed at 8. Dopey has no idea of the turbulent night Ive had trying to remember jingoistic lyrics and the lesser works of TS Eliot. I think I may suggest to the writers of Never Mind the Buzzcocks that they do the 2nd verse of the National Anthem in thier "next lines" round. Get yer gums round that Lily Allen.
We elect to use some more counter credits and have a Breakfast Platter in the food court before busing down to DTD. Before I crash on with this, no doubt ,thrilling account of our holiday, let me tell you about bus queues. We had the worst queues of any Disney holiday this year. The buses were appalling. Sometimes we even went to different places on a planned day because we were waiting SO long. However on day 1 we were ok.
The first thing I notice is that the shorts that fit me perfectly last year are on the baggy side. I am hitching them up in a very attractive manner every three steps.
Dopey loves to shop. Each year before we go away he says hilarious things like, Im not going to buy any rubbish this year, or Im not going to even go to the Pin Station, or Theres nothing I want. I nod sagely and know that we will spend eons in the Pin Station or choosing soft toys for presents, He: Does this one look well made?, Me: It looks smug and as though it might be plotting moral turpitude. He, Are his shoes different colours?, Me: Is that Stitch or Schnorbitz
After a good mooch around ALL the shops in both the Marketplace and the West Side we get a cab up to Premium Outlets. I am rather thrilled in the cab as the driver has a classical music station playing on the radio and Florida is, for me, a cultural chasm. I spend a wonderful 10 minutes listening to Vaughan-Williams (Serenade to Music for those of you who are interested). We spend a LONG time here. Dopey schleps around Character Premiere for so long that I nip out and have a shave as I have grown a full tache and beard since leaving the hotel. He will, no doubt, add to this report but I will tell you that I brought some superduper new running trainers (as opposed to what I call leisure trainers) . Id seen the same ones here in the UK for about £90 but I managed a respectable $50 (so £25). I also got a great training shirt which I like so much I wish that Id got a few. We had our first celebrity spot at the Mall. A woman in her 50s. She had bleached hair in a VERY tight perm, a red halter neck top (with absolutely no erm support garments) and black satin hot-pants. She also had a LOT of make-up on. Can you guess who it was. Remember when Cagney and Lacey went undercover as erm ladies of the night? Well it was clearly one of them out and about in Orlando getting into character. I pinched her cheek, tipped her a wink and gave her a quarter before calling her Toots and passing by.
I then buy a belt in case someone thinks that my loose shorts are some form of proposition or invitation and Cagey (or Lacey) make me thier first 'bust' of the day.
Laden down with bags we get a cab back to DTD and a bus back to the hotel (The Movies). After a sit down we go back to DTD for our first dinner reservation at Raglan Road. We were in a small side room away from the main hub (which suited us). The place is nicely themed and he food was ok - not great, but OK. Dopey had vegetable and barley soup, fish and chips and a chocolate dessert thing. I had goats cheese (v uninspiring) and beef stew, which was good and wholesome. We were there for an age. It took an hour before our first course came. The 2nd and, Dopeys 3rd, came relatively quickly and we waited and waited and waited for the bill despite several requests. Sat down at 7pm left at 930. We bus back to the hotel and watch mindless TV before turning in.
Dear diary, today was hot. 86%
We elect to use some more counter credits and have a Breakfast Platter in the food court before busing down to DTD. Before I crash on with this, no doubt ,thrilling account of our holiday, let me tell you about bus queues. We had the worst queues of any Disney holiday this year. The buses were appalling. Sometimes we even went to different places on a planned day because we were waiting SO long. However on day 1 we were ok.
The first thing I notice is that the shorts that fit me perfectly last year are on the baggy side. I am hitching them up in a very attractive manner every three steps.
Dopey loves to shop. Each year before we go away he says hilarious things like, Im not going to buy any rubbish this year, or Im not going to even go to the Pin Station, or Theres nothing I want. I nod sagely and know that we will spend eons in the Pin Station or choosing soft toys for presents, He: Does this one look well made?, Me: It looks smug and as though it might be plotting moral turpitude. He, Are his shoes different colours?, Me: Is that Stitch or Schnorbitz
After a good mooch around ALL the shops in both the Marketplace and the West Side we get a cab up to Premium Outlets. I am rather thrilled in the cab as the driver has a classical music station playing on the radio and Florida is, for me, a cultural chasm. I spend a wonderful 10 minutes listening to Vaughan-Williams (Serenade to Music for those of you who are interested). We spend a LONG time here. Dopey schleps around Character Premiere for so long that I nip out and have a shave as I have grown a full tache and beard since leaving the hotel. He will, no doubt, add to this report but I will tell you that I brought some superduper new running trainers (as opposed to what I call leisure trainers) . Id seen the same ones here in the UK for about £90 but I managed a respectable $50 (so £25). I also got a great training shirt which I like so much I wish that Id got a few. We had our first celebrity spot at the Mall. A woman in her 50s. She had bleached hair in a VERY tight perm, a red halter neck top (with absolutely no erm support garments) and black satin hot-pants. She also had a LOT of make-up on. Can you guess who it was. Remember when Cagney and Lacey went undercover as erm ladies of the night? Well it was clearly one of them out and about in Orlando getting into character. I pinched her cheek, tipped her a wink and gave her a quarter before calling her Toots and passing by.
I then buy a belt in case someone thinks that my loose shorts are some form of proposition or invitation and Cagey (or Lacey) make me thier first 'bust' of the day.
Laden down with bags we get a cab back to DTD and a bus back to the hotel (The Movies). After a sit down we go back to DTD for our first dinner reservation at Raglan Road. We were in a small side room away from the main hub (which suited us). The place is nicely themed and he food was ok - not great, but OK. Dopey had vegetable and barley soup, fish and chips and a chocolate dessert thing. I had goats cheese (v uninspiring) and beef stew, which was good and wholesome. We were there for an age. It took an hour before our first course came. The 2nd and, Dopeys 3rd, came relatively quickly and we waited and waited and waited for the bill despite several requests. Sat down at 7pm left at 930. We bus back to the hotel and watch mindless TV before turning in.
Dear diary, today was hot. 86%
In that case, you are forgiven. I imagine it would also be useful for defending myself from "stroller people" - those who think it is fun to take my legs out from under me with their huge plastic buggies.
