Grrrr....Teacher Vent

[believe]

Honestly this would be one I wouldn't pick a battle on. If it is that big of a deal move through with the paper work. You are going to find people in life that will call your son by his first name vs. his middle name. Your son has to deal with this teacher for 1yr, not his entire life.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Honestly this would be one I wouldn't pick a battle on. If it is that big of a deal move through with the paper work. You are going to find people in life that will call your son by his first name vs. his middle name. Your son has to deal with this teacher for 1yr, not his entire life.

My son has a right to use the only name he's used for 14 years. I think that his desire to be addressed by his legal name outweighs the teacher's lame attempt at intimidation.

This is the first time in 14 years it has been an issue.

 

[jrmasm]

His name is Alexander Storm Longpolishlastname, but I don't think the unusual middle name should be negated just because it is different.

We always knew he'd be called Storm (there's a story behind it) but my MIL pitched such a major fit that we named him Alexander Storm just to placate her. I've always regretted it. She's the only one who ever called him Alexander and when he was about 5 he stopped responding to her unless she called him Storm. He thinks of himself as Storm and doesn't want to be called anything else.

Still...it's never created a problem before. He knows that he's Alexander on everything official and usually he just has to correct someone once before they get it right.

Is the teacher willing to call him Alex or is she/he insisting on Alexander?

 

[java]

Change his name. This is a Cut and Paste from a website so I don't know if it is accurate but it doesn't seem so difficult to do.

By the way the more I read the more I am disliking the teacher= why make it an issue. Maybe because of the "unusual" aspect of his middle name he is assuming it's a nickname. A quick copy of the birth certificate may put an end to that.
GET A COURT ORDER

The three most common reasons for changing your name are: 1) a general "cuz I wanna" (a reason we call "desire"), 2) you're getting married, or 3) you're getting divorced. Changing your name in the events of marriage and divorce are incredibly easy; desire is much more complicated.

Desire

If you want to get your name changed for no other reason than because you want to, then getting a court order involves following these steps in detail:

Figure out what your state requires for paperwork. This can be determined by contacting a local lawyer, calling the court, or looking up the state statutes in a law library. Which court oversees this process depends on the state; it could be civil, probate or superior court. Usually it is done at the local level. A good place to start is with your county court.

Once you know where to go, ask about the necessary filing forms. They typically include:

A petition for change of name.

An order granting change of name.

A legal backer form.

A notice of petition to the public, meaning an advertisement in a local newspaper.

An affidavit of consent by a parent/wife/husband, if applicable.

An affidavit of service of notification to authorities, necessary if you are an alien, ex-convict or attorney.
The petition makes sure you meet the requirements, and you'll hand over your address and a copy of your birth certificate. The remainder of the papers are similar, but ascertain that others are aware of your change. The order granting change of name, for example, specifies in which newspaper you must publish your intent to change your name.

When filling out these forms, make sure your answers are legible and do not misspell anything, especially your new name.

Some of the papers will need to be notarized, a process that is typically done for free by a public notary.

File the papers by handing them into the clerk of court or whichever person is designated in the court system to process the papers.

Double check your documents before you hand them in for mistakes and make a photocopy for your records.

You usually have to pay a nominal filing fee and your papers will get a docket number.

Once your case is reviewed by a judge, it either will be approved outright or a court hearing will be requested. A hearing may be typical for your state or could happen because you're suspect. When you start the legal proceeding ask whether a hearing is routine or not. During a hearing, the judge will ask you questions regarding the truth of your case and to determine whether you are changing your name for the right reasons.

After your petition is signed, you'll have to return to the court to get it, unless you can persuade the clerk to mail you the documents.

Then you have to take out an advertisement in the newspaper specified. And lawyers, ex-cons and aliens must notify the Immigration and Naturalization Services, the state bar or the Criminal Justice System, depending on which one applies.

Once the newspaper has run the ad and the authorities have taken note of your new identity, they will send you an affidavit which you must return to the court clerk.

Finally, the court will issue you an Order Granting Change of Name which is your new ID. Sometimes this comes with a nominal fee.
In general, the court proceedings for an adult are relatively simple because once the requirements are satisfied, the court is likely to approve the change. If you encounter resistance, it helps your case if you are changing your name to make it easier for others to use and understand, if you are escaping an abusive relationship and don't want to be found, or if you want to be known by your stage name.

For a minor's name change, there are a couple extra facts to take note of:

An adult will have to submit the petition with a reason for the change and typically a parent or a guardian will have to give his/her consent.

The reason for the change should be significant, such as adoption or bringing a stepchild into a family.

 

[okeydokey]

My son has a right to use the only name he's used for 14 years. I think that his desire to be addressed by his legal name outweighs the teacher's lame attempt at intimidation.

This is the first time in 14 years it has been an issue.

But the teacher is addressing him by his legal name of Alexander. Will he object to Alexander Storm?

 

[MushyMushy]

Honestly this would be one I wouldn't pick a battle on. If it is that big of a deal move through with the paper work. You are going to find people in life that will call your son by his first name vs. his middle name. Your son has to deal with this teacher for 1yr, not his entire life.

I doubt he'll have people in his life calling him a name he doesn't want when he deals with these people on a regular basis! Maybe strangers. When he finds a job, they'll call him what he requests to be called.

I have several friends who go by their middle names and not once has anyone had a problem with it. Our names are important to us. How dare someone -- anyone -- try to change that. I understand the no nickname policy, but we're not talking about a nickname.

I had the opposite problem with teachers trying to shorten my son's name. But they always quickly corrected themselves when I used his lengthened name in conversations.

 

[FayeW]

It does seem strange to some people that if you wanted a kid called by a certain name, then that is the name you should have given him.

They DID give him the name they wanted him to be called. It's just not his first name. It is still one of his legal given names. It is a royal PITA to use your middle name, however, it wasn't my choice. My parents named me and they got to choose which one of those names would be my everyday name. My name is Laura Faye. Laura Faye just sounded better than Faye Laura. I was never going to be "Laura" as that was my paternal grandmother's name, and we lived in the same community. Didn't want two Laura ******'s. Some documents required my full name, so I know if I call the bank or the doctor, I have to say I am Laura. I don't have a problem answering to Laura in those circumstances. When my husband really wants to push me over the edge he calls me "Laurie".

Out of 5 children in my family, 3 of us go by our middle names. As adults, it really isn't a big deal. On resumes, employment applications, etc I just use my middle name. On my credit report it shows all my "aliases" which are first & middle names in various combinations with my married and maiden surnames.

 

[Master Mason]

DS started 9th grade yesterday, which means up to this point he's had roughly 27 teachers.

DS goes by his middle name. Always has. It's rarely a problem. On the first day when they do the roll call they call him by his first name and he tells them that he goes by his middle name. He has to write his given name on standardized tests but other than that he writes his middle name on everything and life has been good.

Yesterday he had a teacher tell him that he wasn't allowed to go by a nickname in his class and that he would be addressed by his first name only and has to write his first name on everything he turns in. DS explained that the name he uses is on his birth certificate and the teacher again said, "no nicknames in this class." I don't think so, dude! I've asked DS to attempt to handle it again today (and reminded him not to be rude about it) but if the teacher stands firm he's going to deal with a fired up mama bear.

We had been talking about changing DS's name legally prior to all of this. My MIL was the driving force behind his names being in the order they are in, but she is recently deceased. I guess we'll move forward on it.

My mother had this problem her entire school life, she went by her middle name since birth, and hated her first name as she was named after a grand mother that she dispised.

I had intended to name my son Lawrence Kenneth and call him Kenny, but it was my mother that came to me and asked me not to do that to him. So we reversed the names.

Having said that, the teacher would either agree to call my kid by what his recongized name is, or he wouldn't be my kids teacher, plain and simple.

 

[ozarkmom]

His name is Alexander Storm Longpolishlastname, but I don't think the unusual middle name should be negated just because it is different.

We always knew he'd be called Storm (there's a story behind it) but my MIL pitched such a major fit that we named him Alexander Storm just to placate her. I've always regretted it. She's the only one who ever called him Alexander and when he was about 5 he stopped responding to her unless she called him Storm. He thinks of himself as Storm and doesn't want to be called anything else.

Still...it's never created a problem before. He knows that he's Alexander on everything official and usually he just has to correct someone once before they get it right.

I live in a very small town and there are a couple of Storms here I really don't think of it as unusual.

 

[Hoodie]

My mother always used her middle name. The first thing she did when she got married was to drop the first name. It's the only naming advice she gives to pregnany couples - the first name should be the one you use. She hated having a first name she didn't use. Not only made explaining hard, but also became a problem when she applied for college, job interviews, etc.

Get it changed legally and he'll thank you.

 

[littleteapot]

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!


You shouldn't have to do anything legally to appease this teacher.

He should be called what his parent's want him to be called. PERIOD

 

[RitaE]

I'd choose this battle and I very rarely battle teachers on anything.

My name isn't even long or difficult or unusual but people still sometimes shorten it to a more nicknamey form. I don't like it, it isn't my name.

I wouldn't even care if it is a nickname. As long as it isn't controversial or obscene, if it is the name the kid uses then it is the name his teachers should use.

 

[Sandy V.]

Sigh . . . I hate these ridiculous teacher "power plays". If he isn't cooperating by the end of the week, I would be sending him an e-mail telling the teacher to please call my son "Storm", the name he has always used, and that if he has an issue with it, to please let the principal know. But then again, I'd probably copy the principal on the e-mail in the first place as a heads up and to let the teacher know I mean business (I'm assuming your school has a teacher e-mail system; ours does).

Geesh, shouldn't the teacher be concentrating on TEACHING and not worrying about roll call?!?!?!

My husband also had this issue - he was named after his dad (first name) but always went by his middle name. It's been a big pain in the butt identification-wise, and we vowed we would NEVER do that to our kids and we didn't.

Hang in there, OP!!

 

[lovetoscrap]

Is it possible that the teacher doesn't have / hasn't seen anything with your child's FULL name on it? In high school the teachers don't get the file for each kid, just the class list. Maybe your son's name just says Alexander S Lastname and so the teacher thinks your son is just telling him a nickname that happens to match the middle initial? It is an out of the ordinary legal name so I can see that happening. I am sure the teacher lists don't have the full First, Middle, Last names on them. And as someone mentined kids that age are always trying to pull one over on the teachers. I went to school with a boy named Andrew that everyone called Ace. Everyone except the teachers! He tried every year, every class to get the teachers to call him Ace but they wouldn't go for it--it was just a nickname.


I would certainly start with just a nice explaination that your son's LEGAL name is Storm and that is what he needs to be called. Then take it from there.

 

[powellrj]

I use both my first and my middle name, I would really throw the guy. We already had one cousin named my first name, different middle name and she goes by the first name only. I HATE my first name and have always gone by both names.

I hated teachers that would only call me by my first name. I only had 2 and they were 2 of the worst teachers I had.

 

[RUDisney]

Storm is just a way cool name. Maybe the teacher is jealous.

A girl with whom I graduated HS had the first name Mary. Every girl in her family was named Mary MiddleName. Each was called by her middle name.

My brother wanted to name his DS Victor, but his DW vetoed that and it is now his middle name. They call him by his first name now, but it's always been my brother's hope that when he's out of college, he'll go by J. Victor because it sounds powerful. Besides, as my brother always says, "it's the opposite of loser."

Your DS's teacher really needs to get a life.

 

[RitaE]

Is it possible that the teacher doesn't have / hasn't seen anything with your child's FULL name on it? In high school the teachers don't get the file for each kid, just the class list. Maybe your son's name just says Alexander S Lastname and so the teacher thinks your son is just telling him a nickname that happens to match the middle initial? It is an out of the ordinary legal name so I can see that happening. I am sure the teacher lists don't have the full First, Middle, Last names on them. And as someone mentined kids that age are always trying to pull one over on the teachers. I went to school with a boy named Andrew that everyone called Ace. Everyone except the teachers! He tried every year, every class to get the teachers to call him Ace but they wouldn't go for it--it was just a nickname.

I would certainly start with just a nice explaination that your son's LEGAL name is Storm and that is what he needs to be called. Then take it from there.

I see your point, but you know I'm really not in favor of allowing Teacher's to just assume every teen that comes through their classroom is a little delinquent in the making. In other words, until my kid gives you a reason to think he's a liar, then I expect him to be treated with respect.

If the Teacher had a doubt about the name, it would probably take him all of 10 minutes to verify the story. Heck even a simple, please have a parent send me an email or a letter verifying this is the name you use would be more polite.

 

[ckay87]

That has to be the coolest kids name ever. Too bad I'm done having kids or I'd totally steal it!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I was very ticked off about this yesterday. On one hand, we KNOW that Storm is an unusual name (here at least, he's the only one we've known) so I can understand the teacher being taken aback a bit initially, but Storm is a polite kid and I'm sure he corrected the teacher as he does everyone else, "I go by my middle name, Storm." He was angry enough to mention it to me and I hope he doesn't show that anger if the name issue continues today. He'll be home in a couple of hours and I'll find out.

A long time ago we suggested that he sign important stuff A. Storm Lastname and he said, "I'm not A Storm, I'm The Storm."

 

[Nancyg56]

I'd choose this battle and I very rarely battle teachers on anything.

I would as well. I seldom interfered in the classroom and would not have wanted to undermine a teacher but I would not allow a teacher to determine what name my son answers to. This would be one of the times I had a little chat with a teacher.