Grrrr....Teacher Vent

[addicted_to_WDW]

That has to be the coolest kids name ever. Too bad I'm done having kids or I'd totally steal it!

Thanks! It'll be perfect if he becomes a meteorologist.

 

[froglady]

My son has always been addressed by a nickname, as everyone in DH's family either goes/went by a nickname or middle name, because everyone in MIL's family used nicknames.

That's just the way it was been done for at least three generations.


But if one out of DS's multiple teachers (he's in 10th grade) chooses to address him by his "real" first name, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I might mention the reason behind it, and point out that he is only addressed by his full name if he's in trouble, and ask if the teacher really wants him to be uncomfortable in class for the rest of the year, but I wouldn't get angry about it.


I have basically always been addressed by my full first name, but it doesn't bother me if someone calls me by a nickname. If someone calls my DH by either his first name, or a nickname for his middle name, I know that he/she really isn't a close friend. Was very helpful before caller ID, as I could tell it was a sales call immediately.

 

[Sandy V.]

I would as well. I seldom interfered in the classroom and would not have wanted to undermine a teacher but I would not allow a teacher to determine what name my son answers to. This would be one of the times I had a little chat with a teacher.

That's my thought. This is one of those things that I WOULD choose to battle the teacher on. It's not just a little thing. Nothing is more personal than your name and the teacher is out of line here.

 

[jrmasm]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I was very ticked off about this yesterday. On one hand, we KNOW that Storm is an unusual name (here at least, he's the only one we've known) so I can understand the teacher being taken aback a bit initially, but Storm is a polite kid and I'm sure he corrected the teacher as he does everyone else, "I go by my middle name, Storm." He was angry enough to mention it to me and I hope he doesn't show that anger if the name issue continues today. He'll be home in a couple of hours and I'll find out.

A long time ago we suggested that he sign important stuff A. Storm Lastname and he said, "I'm not A Storm, I'm The Storm."

That's awesome!!!

13 years ago our oldest daughter was born. My husband is still ticked I wouldn't let him name her Arrow.

 

[hentob]

.....he said, "I'm not A Storm, I'm The Storm."

He didn't give the teacher this "vibe" did he?

If so, it's going to be a loooooong year for The Storm

All kidding aside, the teacher sounds like oneofthoseteachers Good luck and please update us.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

He didn't give the teacher this "vibe" did he?

If so, it's going to be a loooooong year for The Storm

All kidding aside, the teacher sounds like oneofthoseteachers Good luck and please update us.

Oh gosh, I hope not! I doubt it, though; he's usually only cocky around us.

I'll let y'all know what happened today. He'll be home 2:30ish.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

If he wants to be known as Storm then legally change his name.

I am confused at people who go by their middle names, I am from New Jersey and work in the travel industry so when traveling out of US passports and names are VERY important.

When I would ask what is your legal name on your passport they gave me their middle name as their first name.

It cost these people so much money to get it changed because they have always gone by their middle name.

I don't get it, maybe it is a southern thing but Storm can be seen as a nickname and if you son says he is The Storm I can understand where the teacher is coming from. I would have just sent a note explaining the situation.

 

[love2teach]

As a teacher, here's my opinion. A middle name isn't a nickname!! I've had students who only go by their middle names and that's never been a problem! And if I have a Matthew, I ask if they want to be called "Matt" or "Matthew." It's not as if he's asking the teacher to call him Satan or something. IMO, as long as the nickname's not bad, and if that's what the kid goes by, so be it. And again, a middle name isn't a nickname!! I think that sometimes teachers want to exert too much power.

 

[cats7494]

What a ridiculous power play by the teacher! He needs to spend his time teaching! I would definitively pursue this with the teacher and principle as others have advised. Good luck!
My brother is a High School physics teacher and I told him this story and he was just as disgusted as I was!

By the way, my oldest daughter is Alexandria (goes by Ali) and my second daughter's middle name is Rayne - somewhat similar to your Alexander Storm -just split between my two kids!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'd choose this battle and I very rarely battle teachers on anything.

My name isn't even long or difficult or unusual but people still sometimes shorten it to a more nicknamey form. I don't like it, it isn't my name.

I agree, on both counts.

Over the course of my life, I've encountered people who've called me "Mary" and I despise that...it's just not my name. However, a nickname I'm comfortable with is "Mare". That's just the way it is. I will not answer to Mary, and I will correct people. I worked with a woman years ago in an Accts Payable department...it was just the two of us. Her name was Mary, and she would call ME Mary. I corrected her, and she said "That's OK...I'll just call you Mary." Um...no, it's NOT OK. And other people in the company would call us "The two Marys". (Actually, her name was Mary Angel, one of her sisters was Mary Rosary, and the other was Mary Joseph... Try insisting on calling all of them Mary! She was called Mary, and her sisters were Rose and Jo.)

As others have said, a name is a very personal thing, and very much a part of one's identity. I'm still not all that comfortable with my WASPy married name (gave up my Italian maiden name), and I just celebrated my 24th anniversary. I've advised my DDs to think long and hard, when/if they get married, about changing their names, and do what they're truly comfortable doing. At this point, I don't want to go through the trouble of changing my name back.

 

[declansdad]

I don't know anything about the teacher but he seems to be a bit strange. Your son isn't using a nickname but rather one of his given names.

I think it is great that you have asked that your son try to deal with it. If it doesn't work after today, I would call or email the teacher to explain how my son would be addressed. I wouldn't do it in an angry or rude fashion but I would let him know.

 

[kimmikayb]

Ag, what a silly thing for the teacher to take a stand about. Sounds like a power trip.

I haven't read the other responses, but if your DS isn't used to being called my his first name....I suppose the teacher will flip a lid if he calls on him and your son doesn't automatically respond.

 

[tzolkin]

I used to have a related name issue in school. I would have teachers that would ask for all students to wait until after they were completely done with attendance before making any requests for nicknames. My name is Candace. I only go by Candace even with family. Always have. Every time, without fail they would go down the list reading the full names for everyone who went by common nicknames "Andrew, Matthew, Christopher, etc" and get to my name and say "Candy Lastname" (which happened to rhyme). No offense to anyone, I know people named Candy and the name sounds fine, but for some reason I cringe when someone calls me by that name. I would politely say, "My name is Candace". By high school, I didn't have to say anything because everyone else in the class would comment for me because they knew I did not go by that nickname.

My aunt had a very strange name issue with my cousin. His name is John. When he started school he was coming home with papers that said Jonathan on them. She asked him about it. There were 3 Johns in the class, so the teacher decided one would be Johnny, one John, and one Jonathan. She fought with the teacher about this. The teacher was actually upset that the child was not responding to or writing the name Jonathan consistently. Of course a 5 year old isn't going to readily answer to a name that's not his name! I believe he was moved to another class.

I've know plenty of people who use their middle name. It's never been a problem. I really don't see why the teacher should have an issue with it. What difference does it make to the teacher?

 

[Master Mason]

Here is another solution, tell the teacher that if he doesn't want to call your son storm, that he is free to address him as Mr. (longpolishname).

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I think mama bear needs to back off, This child is in 9th grade, pretty close to adult hood and should be handling these types of "issues" himself.
While I agree this teacher is obviously rude and could handle this in a effortless, nicer way..he is choosing to hold up a board with the nickname issue. I say use this opportunity to teach your son a lesson about authority. Seems to me, like you should have stood up to MIL and chosen a name that you liked for your son, instead of letting her bully you into something you now need to have changed. I say, have the name legally changed. I understand that many families have cultural names that they carry with them and somtimes they are hard or long to pronounce.(the reason to use a nick or middle name) but at the same time, I don't understand how you can fault other people for using the first name to address your child. (???????) After all, this is there name. This is a 9th grade teacher who has MANY students to deal with and maybe its Easier for the teacher to have the name the child writes on his papers match with what he will have written from the office for roll call or something of that nature?

 

[Catzeyes]

The same thing happened to my son when he started high school. After getting some legal advice we went with the option of legally changing his name.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

I think mama bear needs to back off, This child is in 9th grade, pretty close to adult hood and should be handling these types of "issues" himself.
While I agree this teacher is obviously rude and could handle this in a effortless, nicer way..he is choosing to hold up a board with the nickname issue. I say use this opportunity to teach your son a lesson about authority.

Yes, he's in 9th grade but sometimes it takes a parent to push the teacher and make him/her understand that it is a big deal. Children are often "brushed off" by adults.

OP, I wouldn't back off. A name is a very personal thing and the teacher needs to understand his boundaries just as your son understands his.

 

[Praying Colonel]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I was very ticked off about this yesterday. On one hand, we KNOW that Storm is an unusual name (here at least, he's the only one we've known) so I can understand the teacher being taken aback a bit initially, but Storm is a polite kid and I'm sure he corrected the teacher as he does everyone else, "I go by my middle name, Storm." He was angry enough to mention it to me and I hope he doesn't show that anger if the name issue continues today. He'll be home in a couple of hours and I'll find out.

A long time ago we suggested that he sign important stuff A. Storm Lastname and he said, "I'm not A Storm, I'm The Storm."

That's awesome--sounds like you have a great kid.

I wouldn't piddle around with the teacher anymore. I'd go ahead and set up a conference with the principal right now. This teacher is obviously on a power trip. I've seen these types during our kids' travels through the school system. He/She needs a rhetorical 2 X 4 between the eyes right now to get his/her attention.

I agree with a previous poster that this is a good time to teach a lesson about authority. In this case, that lesson is: those who wield authority arbitrarily and capriciously should answer for their misuse of the authority. No one is above the law, especially teachers who prefer to use a bureaucratic approach instead of treating their students with respect.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

The same thing happened to my son when he started high school. After getting some legal advice we went with the option of legally changing his name.

Was it a pain in the butt? I read what a PP wrote about the process (thanks PP!) and I've read up on the Maryland laws. It seems painless, but I'm wondering how many people/instiutions we'll need to contact if we go that route. He has a passport, so I'm thinking just that, Social Security, the school, his doctor, medical insurance...am I missing anyone?

ThreeMusketeers - Mama Bear hasn't done anything yet. I'm big on letting DS handle his own affairs and always have been, which is why I told him to try to deal with the teacher today. If the teacher won't respect my child's repeated request, the teacher will hear from me.

 

[NotUrsula]

With all due respect, "Storm" sounds like a jock nickname, so I don't find it at all unusual that the teacher thinks that it is one. If I encountered a 15 yr old boy that wanted to be called Storm I would absolutely assume that it was a nickname, akin to wanting to be called Flash or Lightning.

Now if he wanted to be called Dwight I would assume that it was really part of his legal name, because it doesn't sound like some kind of superhero. (I'm referencing Eisenhower here, who changed his name from David Dwight to Dwight David because he preferred Dwight -- and of course, everyone ended up calling him Ike.) Context is everything, and in this case the context is against him.

A copy of his birth certificate should solve this without anyone going any kind of bear on anyone.