growing up girls

[sammyteach]

Hi wonder if you other mums could share your experiences with me. I have a ten and a half year old DD and although I know everyone is different what where your DD average age and "sequence" of puberty onset events. Im thinking armpit hair other hair and menstruation.
At the moment my DD has little wisps of armpit hair a little bit of a figure and nothing else. Thank goodness not really ready for my baby to grow up just yet. can you share your experiences. Also would you bring the "wisps" to her attention / start thinking about hair removal..... Im not fussed but Id hate someone else to point it out to her in a negative way. What do you recommend for young girls in the way of hair removal and first periods( do you Usa folks call it periods/ menstruation?)
We ve done the chats about puberty and shared some good books (recommended from here). she was interested but hasnt asked any questions really....too busy playing and being 10 which is how I like it
Any help advice experiences welcome

 

[momoftriplets]

I'm not sure how much help I can be to you. I have 10 year old girls also. We've had "the talk". I always keep it real casual, stressing they can come to me with any questions. I just don't want them to be scared when they first get their periods. My one daughter is more developed than the other. She should be wearing a bra (& she has them) she's just not there mentally, yet. She also has a few wisps of underarm hair that we've talked about. I've shown her the razor & how it works. She is afraid shaving will hurt, so for right now, I'm not pushing it. I'm more into the personal hygiene portion.

All of the kids have a special "Growing up Boys/Growing up Girls" segment they will take part in at school next month. Of course, I want them to hear *all the gorey details* from us, & not the playground.

Anyway - my advice is to just be really open about everything. Make her comfortable with what is coming. I agree - my girls are too busy being "little girls" to worry about that kind of stuff just yet.

Good Luck!
Barb

 

[labst60]

Many years ago (10ish), a very extended relative was visting from Poland. She was 11ish I believe and had a fair amount of underarm hair and ended up get teased by other kids at a local pool. I was older at the time (18/19) and I talked to her about it afterward (she was upset but explained that they don't shave until later where she is from (small village)), but it did make me think that whenever I had kids, I'd probably want to err on the side of caution and have my girls shave early rather than late. The poor girl was so upset because kids can be pretty cruel about those things!

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

My DD is 10 and half. Puberty began with her last year and is in full swing now. I did talk with her and gave her the American Girl Book "The Care and Keeping of You" which she still reads now and then. However, she began experimenting with shaving without talking to me, until she was confident in what she was doing. She would sneak my razors out of my bathroom drawer. She finally told me she was shaving her legs and underarms "because its gross!" I was shocked, I didn't think she needed it yet, but its about her being comfortable with her own body. Mostly, I wanted her to be comfortable to come to me when she has questions, and she does. She asks some very pointedly direct questions sometimes, but I answer her honestly. That is the most important thing. I want her to always feel she can come to me and I will be direct and honest with her. I didn't have that as a girl, my mother always answered my questions with a question or by redirecting to another topic

 

[badblackpug]

My DD did the opposite. She had breast development and wore a bra long before the hair set in, but then I am not very hairy...so maybe it is genetics. Although she was fairly emotionally immature, she did begin menstruating at 11. If she is afraid of a razor, get her an electric one. Mine shaved from the moment hair appeared. When I was in junior high my best friend was quite hairy (underarms and legs) and her mother absolutely forbade shaving (why? We don't know) she was teased and mortified, so I decided that I would never make it a big deal.
As far as 1st periods. We started with pads, but very quickly switched to tampax. She kept pads and a change of pants/panties in her school locker "just in case." and they came in handy!

 

[sammyteach]

Thank you these answers are very informative I guess its a learning curve for us all together. It just seems a pity to me that these issues do seem to be happening earlier.

 

[jennifer293]

I think that when it happens it is also very important for mom to keep her mouth shut in the way of telling the whole family...I know it is a very big event and it means your little girl is growing up , but speaking from experience (and much humiliation) it is not fun for your grandmother or your aunts to come up to you and say things like,"I heard you became a woman today", or "my you are getting little ****ies"...NOT FUN AT ALL!!!!!! Please don't be one of those moms!! I BEG YOU!!

 

[sammyteach]

Jennifer 923 I promise I wont be one of those mums! Its a good point that you made my DD is shy enough without me chatting on like that

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

Curiosity is natural for the girls and although my DD has not started her period yet, she is aware it can happen any time and is prepared. She has experimented with different pads to let me know what is most comfortable for her. When she first started developing she was very sensitive to it and wanted no acknowledgment from anyone it was happening. She is more used to her body now, but still, at the age our DD's are developing, and I wish girls got to be little girls longer, they need us Moms to be there for them. I think of this time as a bonding for a wonderful friendship later on with my DD.