Groom To Be-Lack of Excitement

[jojoandhb]

I just wanted to add that I tried to get my fiance involved. I like Maggie Sottero dresses, so I asked him to look at them with me. I told him that he couldn't know which one that I picked, but I wanted his opinion on what he liked. Well, he liked this one:

I'm sure it's nice to some people, but to me it looks like something from Dynasty and does not fit my style at all! I realized right then that I am better off planning by myself. Men just don't get the overall theme and look of an event. I'm happy that he's interested in the food, and that he picked a tuxedo that looks nice and doesn't have any weird patterns or colors on it. I couldn't ask for anything else.

 

[Fairy_Tale_Bride]

You're right on that...nothing is cheap. But we compared how much it would cost us to have a wedding at home vs. WDW, and WDW won! We're both not really into the "big" wedding thing either. A DFTW just makes sense for us. Good luck with your planning session! Let us know how it goes!

Same here! Our WDW wedding was much cheaper than anything we could have thrown together here and had in NC...which made WDW even better! We were having a small wedding either way and that wouldn't work in NC, so it was between Disney and Vegas! My DH wanted to get married on the beach like in Key West...I was like..."Do you know how much that would cost and how much planning we'd have to do!?" We couldn't handle that! I needed something easy, so when he said no to Vegas...it was WDW here we come! Plus, all of my family lives in Florida, so they only had to travel 2 hours.

 

[Fairy_Tale_Bride]

I just wanted to add that I tried to get my fiance involved. I like Maggie Sottero dresses, so I asked him to look at them with me. I told him that he couldn't know which one that I picked, but I wanted his opinion on what he liked. Well, he liked this one:

I'm sure it's nice to some people, but to me it looks like something from Dynasty and does not fit my style at all! I realized right then that I am better off planning by myself. Men just don't get the overall theme and look of an event. I'm happy that he's interested in the food, and that he picked a tuxedo that looks nice and doesn't have any weird patterns or colors on it. I couldn't ask for anything else.

That's exactly how my DH was! He started trying to help, I guess, at the beginning, but everything he said wasn't helpful at all! It really just became annoying and a pain in my side...haha! He was never helpful, even though he was trying to be and it caused more stress for my Mom & I! We had to tell him to just butt out and sit back. He wasn't going with the flow at all! He finally got better better after I told him he was driving me nuts! Haha! He had the problem of caring about stuff he shouldn't care about or putting his 2 cents in, where it doesn't belong! We finally came to a compromise and he was pretty good the 5 months before the wedding. He finally learned to go with the flow!

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i don't have the problem(thank god!) but a friend of mine is having the same problem. he doesn't want to help with ANYTHING! just keep reminding him that the wedding is a union that is supposed to be for the TWO of you, not just one of you! and it's not fair to put all the stress on just you.

 

[SRUAlmn]

I just wanted to add that I tried to get my fiance involved. I like Maggie Sottero dresses, so I asked him to look at them with me. I told him that he couldn't know which one that I picked, but I wanted his opinion on what he liked. Well, he liked this one:

I'm sure it's nice to some people, but to me it looks like something from Dynasty and does not fit my style at all! I realized right then that I am better off planning by myself. Men just don't get the overall theme and look of an event. I'm happy that he's interested in the food, and that he picked a tuxedo that looks nice and doesn't have any weird patterns or colors on it. I couldn't ask for anything else.

So I tried that last night. I showed him the Maggie Sottero site (my favorite gowns as well) and he said, 'I'd like something that makes your ****s look really hot!' I guess I shouldn't have asked him when he was watching a football game

 

[PirateKitty]

Ok, this is too funny. Last night I mentioned to my fiance that his lack of enthusiasm must be common among men, as alot of us girls are complaining about the same thing. He argued with me that he actually is excited. I asked him if he wanted to be a little more involved, and his only response was "let me pick the cake". And thats not the first time he's said that. I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach!?!?!

 

[PirateKitty]

Same here! Our WDW wedding was much cheaper than anything we could have thrown together here and had in NC...which made WDW even better! We were having a small wedding either way and that wouldn't work in NC, so it was between Disney and Vegas! My DH wanted to get married on the beach like in Key West...I was like..."Do you know how much that would cost and how much planning we'd have to do!?" We couldn't handle that! I needed something easy, so when he said no to Vegas...it was WDW here we come! Plus, all of my family lives in Florida, so they only had to travel 2 hours.

Its sounds like your DH and my fiance are one in the same! I brought up Disney or Vegas too. He said Vegas was way too cheesy...so Disney here we come! And I gotta agree with you 100%, I want something easy, and Disney really does make the most sense for our lifestyle.

 

[BrideToBe82]

I just wanted to add that I tried to get my fiance involved. I like Maggie Sottero dresses, so I asked him to look at them with me. I told him that he couldn't know which one that I picked, but I wanted his opinion on what he liked. Well, he liked this one:

I'm sure it's nice to some people, but to me it looks like something from Dynasty and does not fit my style at all! I realized right then that I am better off planning by myself. Men just don't get the overall theme and look of an event. I'm happy that he's interested in the food, and that he picked a tuxedo that looks nice and doesn't have any weird patterns or colors on it. I couldn't ask for anything else.

Haha ok I'm going to stop complaining about my DF not being excited and start being excited that he's not overly excited haha! Who knows what he would pick if I asked him for his opinion on my dress!

 

[ItGirl753]

I wish mine were a little less excited. He doesn't want to talk about it all the time like I do, but when he gets in a mood then he tells me all his ideas to change my plans!!! and gets mad when I "shoot them down." Like now he has decided he likes Sunset Pointe even though I told him that won't work for our guest list! That is not shooting it down, it's being practical. UGH! I wish he would let me make my plans and only give input on the things I ask! I told him he is in charge of the honeymoon! (We're looking at Australia,
Germany, or Hawaii -- supposed to see a travel agent this week!) And he can help with the food....off topic -- but he still hasn't set a date. He wants to finish his degree and get an Air Force officer job lined up (so he'll know when he has to go away for schooling). If I wait for that, I may not be engaged until the spring! We've been talking about getting married for over a year and Disney for like 8 months. I understand his reason for waiting to set a definite date, but I told him he keeps pushing it off and maybe he doesn't really want it. But I don't really believe that.

 

[jojoandhb]

Don't feel bad. I wouldn't set a date until I was done with college either. I said, "If we're going to be together forever, what difference does it make if we get married now or 10 years from now?" It's only been in the last month that I've agreed to a date. I'm graduating in March. You just get more money for college if you are single. I think one of the biggest mistakes peopl make is putting too much emphasis on the wedding. It's really just a very nice party. The marriage is way more inportant than the wedding itself.

 

[DisneyFairy19]

I am so sorry to hear that... I am sure he is stressed over planning.. Give him time.. My DH2B gets overwhelmed with the planning...

 

[ItGirl753]

Don't feel bad. I wouldn't set a date until I was done with college either. I said, "If we're going to be together forever, what difference does it make if we get married now or 10 years from now?" It's only been in the last month that I've agreed to a date. I'm graduating in March. You just get more money for college if you are single. I think one of the biggest mistakes peopl make is putting too much emphasis on the wedding. It's really just a very nice party. The marriage is way more inportant than the wedding itself.

Well he will be finishing in the spring. I have been out of college & graduate school for 10 years. We're not typical college-aged. He went into the military after high school and didn't start college for a long time. I am also 6 years older than him, so I am in more of a hurry....and don't want to have a baby until after we are married. Funny though, he is planning the honeymoon for next August, but won't set the wedding date! We know everything we want at WDW, just not the date. And I think you can all understand that I want to tell people so they can plan for a trip!!! It is a smaller list for WDW, but it still is about 30 families that I have to tell to save their vacation time and money.

 

[jojoandhb]

We're not really typical college age, either. He's 38, and I am 29.
If your fiance is planning the honeymoon and all of that, you're fine. If he's planning it for August, then I'm assuming the wedding is in August, too. Just tell family and friends that your wedding will be next summer in WDW. You can say that you are considering August. They can start saving for it and looking into prices and hotels and stuff with that information. Give them updates as you get them.

 

[disneybridetobe]

My DH2B didn't really get "into it" until we started making designs for our Wedding Trip t-shirts. He got really excited when he got to make his Darth Vader Groom shirt... lol. Whatever floats his boat.

He's very excited about the whole trip though, but the wedding itself was all me.

 

[Maggimus]

Haha This thread makes me laugh.... i have all too much in common with you all. Men are men I guess.

 

[happylalagirl]

OK - my DF is looking forward to the wedding but he didn't get into it all until the planning session was coming up. Once we were at the planning session, I kept asking what his opinion was on things before I ever said anything. He really got into it and made some choices that I would not have thought of. He certainly never suggested any of them to me prior to that, so don't give up on him yet... guys are different than us. We anticipate this day for so long and we are so excited when it is finally "our turn" to plan. My DF is NOT one of those people who believes it's MY day... he doesnt' like that. He says it's OUR day because we are 2 different people joining our lives forever... he is just as much a part of this as I am... and I agree, but I'm still the one making most of the decisions, keeping track of finances, planning the travel, etc. So, yes, it's our day, but when you step back and look at it, there's a reason they call it the Bride's day. The bride is the one who puts her heart and soul into the planning to make it the most perfect day she could have imagined. That's what I'm working on... he'll turn around. You'll see. Just be patient.

 

[feline figaro]

After reading everyones post i m left feeling pretty lucky as my Df is very excited a bout our wedding (even though we ve still got a bit of a wait). We ve pretty much planned the whole day & everything a round it. Hes trying to get involved with ideas as much as possible & has decided he wants us to go out to wdw year before wedding . It was actually my df who came up with the whole idea if getting married at Disney & i was at first a little reluctant. Well i ve certainly changed my mind & we re both sooo excited . I think some men don't get involved until the last minute as thats when they see all the months of planning as reality. Don't give up ladies, your men will come round & be as excited as you are

 

[Koyta]

After reading everyones post i m left feeling pretty lucky as my Df is very excited a bout our wedding (even though we ve still got a bit of a wait). We ve pretty much planned the whole day & everything a round it. Hes trying to get involved with ideas as much as possible & has decided he wants us to go out to wdw year before wedding . It was actually my df who came up with the whole idea if getting married at Disney & i was at first a little reluctant. Well i ve certainly changed my mind & we re both sooo excited . I think some men don't get involved until the last minute as thats when they see all the months of planning as reality. Don't give up ladies, your men will come round & be as excited as you are

I must be just as lucky because mine is tremendously excited too. In fact, the only time he wasn't excited was early on in the planning when I suggested we look into Swan and Dolphin weddings to see if we could save some money. He got all sulky any time I mentioned it because he wanted it to be an official Disney wedding. Now that we've settled on the Disney wedding, he couldn't be more excited! He was thrilled when we went to the site visit, he keeps talking about our planning visit next year and he just keeps randomly mentioning how excited he is about the wedding and Disney cruise even though it's just over a year away still.

I also believe your men will all come around and be just as excited too!