Grieving...

[gigglesnort]

Were you ever surprised at how long you've grieved for someone? Usually if someone passes, I get past it somewhat quickly. (not making light of it). But something that happened recently is still part of my life.

I'm just surprised I guess that I'm still dealing with this situation...it's still almost as raw as it was before.

I thought I wasn't that sensitive!!!

 

[mushumadness]

I can agree with you, I lost my gandmother 2 years ago, and it creeps up on me every so often and I end up in tears, she is very much missed,

 

[Steamboat Marti]

My mom is gone 5 years and I swear - I still check the answering machine to see if she's called... or I say to myself "mom would love to hear about this one...."

I don't know if I'll ever stop grieving. But keeping her memories alive help a great deal. Remembering all the fun things always puts a smile on my face.

Good luck.

 

[Michelle2]

You are not alone...My grandmother passed away almost 20 years ago, and I still miss and grieve for her.

I have also had not one, but 2 young friends that have died lately...really cruel considering they were both young, one 29, and one late 30's and both mothers to 3 young children....one as young as 5 months old...One just happened while we were away at Disneyland a few months ago, and the other in March of 2002, and I still grieve and tear up when I think or see their kids struggling to live life the best they can without their mother(s). Totally heartbreaking, and I would give anything I had to bring them back to their kids... Sorry, I guess it is still really hard for me.

 

[aprilgail2]

I know that I am able to get over older peoples deaths easier than younger ones...when my dad died at 56 it took me a year or so to get over that but when my godson died at 14 3 years ago I am still not over that one and when I talk about him I still cry 90 percent of the time!

 

[Sparx]

I don't think you ever really stop grieving. You only stop when you can say that you wouldn't give the world for just one more minute with them, like you would have when they first died. I can say that I would give everything and more just to see my great grandma one more time. But I don't still cry at the mention of her name, or looking at a picture. I can laugh, thinking about something she said one time. We can talk about her, and I don't feel the need to go wash my face. But I'm still grieving. I still miss her.
So I don't think you can ever stop grieving. Sometimes death hits you too hard for it to pass quickly. Sometimes grieving isn't just 'cry today, cry less tomorrow, don't cry day after tomorrow'. sometimes its 'cry until you can't cry anymore, and then cry somemore".
for having to go through this.

 

[carolfoy]

I totally sympathise, I lost my sisiter 15 years ago and still think about her everyday, I guess its just a mark of how much that person really meant to you, I also used to think it strange how people refferred to 'losing someone' but thats exactly how it feels, a bit like misplacing your car keys, an irritating feeling that you KNOW they're there but you just can't grab them, like when that person has gone you are always looking around for them, remembering things that you just MUST tell them then remembering that you can't.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it just really depends on how emotionally close you were to the person who passed and how much impact they had on your daily life. You have my sympathy, it is hard to lose someone you care about.

 

[NMAmy]

My dad died 2 1/2 years ago and I still think about him and miss him every day. It's not as raw as it was at first and I'm able to think about him without crying but it's still there. I don't think it will ever go away.

I remember my mom telling me something a few years ago when my grandfather died. My grandmother had died a few years before and my mom (who was in her late 60's) told me that she knew it was silly but she felt like an orphan. She still feels that way.

to you.

 

[lyeag]

Sparx is right..

I don't think you ever really stop grieving. You only stop when you can say that you wouldn't give the world for just one more minute with them...


I lost my dh after one year of marriage. Have I moved on, gotten remarried, had more children? Yes, but at any given moment, something can take me back to the day I last saw him and the pain is just as bad as it was 12 years ago.

I still grieve for my parents who died even longer ago. I think what you are feeling is very normal.

 

[C.Ann]

There's no "time limit" - and don't let anyone tell you there is.. Deal with it on your own terms and your own time and you'll be fine..

I'm sorry for your loss..

 

[Stitchfans]

My mom died Jan 2000. Sometimes I get into moods were I really need her and I can't stop crying. I try to just think about the good times with her.

IMO the only death I think would be impossible to get over would be the death of your child. I know how painful it is to the son or daughter to lose a parent, but for my own sanity I pray I die before one of my DDs.

 

[Keli]

I think it just really depends on how emotionally close you were to the person who passed and how much impact they had on your daily life. You have my sympathy, it is hard to lose someone you care about.

This is what I think also.

 

[Blondie]

My dad's only been gone a month, so it's still very raw to me.

I experience those "creep up on you" moments. I'll be doing just fine, driving along, walking along or whatever, and then all of sudden something will remind me of him and it's hard to choke back the tears.

 

[smilingmouse]

to everyone who is grieving

 

[sk8belle]

My dad's only been gone a month, so it's still very raw to me.

I experience those "creep up on you" moments. I'll be doing just fine, driving along, walking along or whatever, and then all of sudden something will remind me of him and it's hard to choke back the tears.

The one-year anniversary of my godmother's death was last month. I just curled up in my apartment as I was so down.

At her wake, the deacon said something that really stuck with me. He said, "You may come across something that makes you think of her, but don't let it make you sad. It's just her way of letting you know she's still near and watching over you." While not letting it make you sad is easier said than done, this is a great perspective.

 

[Planogirl]

I still think about my Dad a lot. There are times when I still can't believe that he's gone and it's been 8 years.

I also lost a friend a month or so ago and I still feel like I'm in some kind of shock. It was very sudden and he was very young and that may be why. I know that I"m different now; much gloomier and I can't seem to shake it.

 

[mtblujeans]

Yes, I have been surprised! I haven't been around many people passing away as an adult. My Dad passed away 5 years ago and, although I expected it to be hard to lose a parent, I am still locked in this terrible grief for his passing and it has been totally unexpected pain! I may never get over it....it's amazing what true heartbreak can be!

 

[Blondie]

My Dad passed away 5 years ago and, although I expected it to be hard to lose a parent, I am still locked in this terrible grief for his passing and it has been totally unexpected pain! I may never get over it....it's amazing what true heartbreak can be!

The thing is, you can read about it, experience it through others, expect it to be hard....but until you've actually gone through it you can't even imagine the overwhelming grief. I don't think it ever really goes away. It gets easier to think of them as they once were, but you'll never stop missing them. Ever.

 

[C.Ann]

The thing is, you can read about it, experience it through others, expect it to be hard....but until you've actually gone through it you can't even imagine the overwhelming grief. I don't think it ever really goes away. It gets easier to think of them as they once were, but you'll never stop missing them. Ever.

---------------------------------------

Couldn't have said it better myself.. It's one of those things where you really have to "walk the walk"... No one walks exactly the same path - no one walks at exactly the same pace - but when all is said and done, it's a path you walk alone, for however long it takes..