Grief Counseling for Children

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Does anyone have any experience with sending a child for counseling after the death of someone close to them?

DD10 is really having a rough time since my Mom died in February. They were very close. DD does everything she can to avoid talking to my Dad because it makes her cry to talk to him. At any mention of my Mom she bursts into tears and runs to her room.

We have tried to talk to her and even let her know that it is more than ok to miss Grandma and cry because we miss her but I think that DD may need some help dealing with this.

Are there any resources out there that could help us help DD?

How do you find the right therapist to take her to?

Thanks for any input.

 

[mom23boys]

I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. My DMIL passed about a month ago and my two youngest 10 and 6 (sons) took it very hard, my youngest the hardest. I can suggest if your Mom was on hospice I know that they have offered us counselling for up to six months after she passed. Maybe that is the root you can take or talk to her Ped to get referrals to counslers.

to your daughter.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. My DMIL passed about a month ago and my two youngest 10 and 6 (sons) took it very hard, my youngest the hardest. I can suggest if your Mom was on hospice I know that they have offered us counselling for up to six months after she passed. Maybe that is the root you can take or talk to her Ped to get referrals to counslers.

to your daughter.

Thanks. I will ask her Ped for a recommendation.

My Mom passed suddenly after a fall left her in bad shape and she ended up in ICU before my Dad took her off any life support. The circumstances surrounding my Mom's death were pretty traumatic for all of us. I'm sure she is probably feeling some anger at my Dad as well but doesn't know how to deal with all that happened.

 

[Imzadi]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Professional counselor here , although I don't do grief counseling. Yes, there are many different kinds of counselors and different approaches. Try to find one that specializes in grief counseling. It's important to interview them and just the way some people become friends & get along well and some people don't, it's important to find someone that your DD feels comfortable with.

Ask them what type of techniques or processes they do. Get a sense of them and go by what you & DD intuitively feel is right. Some counselors can talk a blue streak about all the fancy techniques they do, and either intimidate you or make you feel overwhelmed by their knowledge, but if it doesn't feel right to you, it's probably not the right ones for DD. Just because someone hangs a shingle, doesn't make them right for everyone. The person should make sense to you and DD feel you can trust DD with him/her. And do check in on DD's progress, though grief takes time. At some point, (s)he may want to have DD & DH in together.

There are grief forums online. Maybe lurk at a few, or ask questions so you can know what questions to ask when looking for a grief counselor.

Also Google for a summary on the Five Stages of Grief. It's was developed by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. It will take you through the five stages, so you can recognise where you, DH and DD are. Know that the 5 stages aren't necessarily chronological, and you and your family may skip around, backtrack, seem okay, then suddenly fall apart, just as you thought you were finally feeling a smidge of feeling okay for once. ALL of that is NORMAL. And it's okay to not know how to deal with any of this. If you were handling this in some tidy, neat fashion, I'd be really worried.

Yes, DD probably does feel anger. It is one of the stages. As well as guilt in your DH, even though he has nothing to feel guilty about. Feeling aren't logical. They just are.

Hugs to you and your family again.

 

[cuterlt]

Our local office of the medical investigator has a wonderful grief counseling program from what I've been told. Ours is a state run office - but you can look for coroner or medical examiner or medical investigator in the phone book.
You might also try and talk with a social worker from your local hospital, or find a hospice program - they can probably give you some good suggestions.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe I remember reading about it and wondering how your family was coping with all of it. It sounded terribly traumatic.

I hope you are able to find someone to help your family cope.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Professional counselor here , although I don't do grief counseling. Yes, there are many different kinds of counselors and different approaches. Try to find one that specializes in grief counseling. It's important to interview them and just the way some people become friends & get along well and some people don't, it's important to find someone that your DD feels comfortable with.

Ask them what type of techniques or processes they do. Get a sense of them and go by what you & DD intuitively feel is right. Some counselors can talk a blue streak about all the fancy techniques they do, and either intimidate you or make you feel overwhelmed by their knowledge, but if it doesn't feel right to you, it's probably not the right ones for DD. Just because someone hangs a shingle, doesn't make them right for everyone. The person should make sense to you and DD feel you can trust DD with him/her. And do check in on DD's progress, though grief takes time. At some point, (s)he may want to have DD & DH in together.

There are grief forums online. Maybe lurk at a few, or ask questions so you can know what questions to ask when looking for a grief counselor.

Also Google for a summary on the Five Stages of Grief. It's was developed by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. It will take you through the five stages, so you can recognise where you, DH and DD are. Know that the 5 stages aren't necessarily chronological, and you and your family may skip around, backtrack, seem okay, then suddenly fall apart, just as you thought you were finally feeling a smidge of feeling okay for once. ALL of that is NORMAL. And it's okay to not know how to deal with any of this. If you were handling this in some tidy, neat fashion, I'd be really worried.

Yes, DD probably does feel anger. It is one of the stages. As well as guilt in your DH, even though he has nothing to feel guilty about. Feeling aren't logical. They just are.

Hugs to you and your family again.

Thanks so much for the info. I will look into the resources you mentioned. I hadn't even thought about finding an online group for this.

It's not DH but my Dad (DD's Grandfather) that DD has the issue with.

Our local office of the medical investigator has a wonderful grief counseling program from what I've been told. Ours is a state run office - but you can look for coroner or medical examiner or medical investigator in the phone book.
You might also try and talk with a social worker from your local hospital, or find a hospice program - they can probably give you some good suggestions.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe I remember reading about it and wondering how your family was coping with all of it. It sounded terribly traumatic.

I hope you are able to find someone to help your family cope.

Thanks. It has been very rough but we are doing the best we can. Some days are better than others but we miss her every day.

Thanks as well for those suggestions. I would never have thought of calling the ME. I'll look into that as well.

 

[mommasita]

I am sorry on your loss

My son was 5 when my MIL passed. They were very close, and he did have a most difficult time. Our pediatrician gave us a referral for counseling after we realized that 3 months had passed, and he had not come to terms with it very well.

He saw a counselor for a few months every second week. It really did seem to help.