greenban
DIS Veteran<br><br><img src="http://www.wdwinfo.co
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 1,880
I edited my original report, because an honest attempt at humor was interpreted as mean spirited and nasty. While this was not my intention, after a period of reflection, I have decided to remove my 'joke' rather than insulting anyone else. If I offended/insulted you, please accept my appology.
-Tony
Hopefully I won't disappoint you too badly:
The Fantasy:
Fond childhood memories of many a family trip by car, finally to all 48 continental states. Happy hours on the highway playing find all the state's license plates and license plate alphabet. Cries of "Mom! She's touching my side of the car!" and "It's my turn!", followed by Dad yelling, "Shut those kids up, or I'll turn this car around!" Running on empty looking for 24 cent a gallon gasoline WITH greenstamps. Meals from a cooler while Dad drives on. Swimming in the pool of our latest fleabag motel. Writing a trip report of the caliber of the immortals; Delswife and vettechick. My DW stating, "I love DISNEY!!!! Buy more DVC contracts! You were soooo right!"
The Crew:
Your Narrator: Me the forty-something, mid-life crisis Dad, busily buying up DVC contracts instead of the convertible, electric blue vette,
that I always needed, errr wanted! My motto, Plans are for wimps! My usual preparation: Lets just go and see what happens!
Likes: Disney, Frogs, Polls, Corvettes, Magic, NRA, County Music, DVC and my family.
Dislikes: Rude and/or nasty people.
DW: Practical, no-nonsense backbone of the family. The Big Boss. The packer for family vacations. A planner par excelance to the tiniest detail. Doesnt really get Disney, i.e. our honeymoon back in 1990:
Me: Dear lets go to Disney ..
She: What?, Where?, Why? Are you nuts?!?
So we enjoyed our week in Jamaica at Sandals. To be fair, DW also compromised, we enjoyed our second week at WDW!!! And even though I cant have a vette, I do get to buy DVC!
Likes: Shopping, Family outings, Frogs and easy listening music.
Dislikes: Ignorant, intolerant people.
DD-12: Twelve going on Forty-One! No adult in the world has been right on any subject in the last year. Changes are a coming; we currently enjoy mood swings on what seems to be an hourly basis. During brief periods of normality, she is a helpful, honors student who plays the flute and studies karate, and made her Dojos Extreme Team, a traveling karate demonstration group.
Likes: Who knows anymore?!?, Frogs, Picking on her little brother, Today's rock.
Dislikes: Parents, Bugs.
DS-9: Too much like Dad for a peaceful 19 hour car ride. Bright, quick, funny with a sharp sense of humor. Also a great student, a backup Extreme Team member and a fierce karate competitor.
Likes: Guns, Swords, Frogs, Bugs, Picking on his little sister.
Dislikes: His big sister.
DD-4: Our baby, she has Daddy completely wrapped about her little finger. Can you buy me that? has become her mantra while watching Nickelodeon! She is excited by anything princess related, and travels very well!
Likes: Princesses, Swords, Frogs, Bugs, Picking on both her siblings and Country Music.
Dislikes: The Doctor and Needles.
Demonseed: DW's 2005 Dodge Caravan: I hate Chrysler products, you really couldnt give me one for free. DW loves the disappearing seats (Stow & Go). This 2005 Red beauty has been in the shop for more than 45 days, 5 separate times. It has also been involved in two minor accidents so far. Neither one DWs fault. The scariest and least reliable part of our crew.
Likes: Breaking down at 80 MPH in the left-hand lane
Dislikes: My family
Planning Stage: Our First Trip Home
The Plan:
1) Drive down to BWV from Northwest NJ in the new, but PROVEN unreliable 2005 Dodge Caravan. Hoping the dealer finally fixed it this last time.
2) Enjoy Passover at Disney. Bought a week worth of Kosher for Passover foods. found out Disney actually provides K4P (Kosher 4 Passover!) foods and even Seder plates at many of its eateries. Dad will keep the Holiday and let the kids also eat non-K4P foods. Note: K4P is no relation to Y2K (Yucky Too Kosher!!)
3) Barbeque one night.
4) Mini DISBoard meet hosted by Idratherbeinwdw.
5) Got AAA Trip-Tiks and Tour Books.
6) SOTB (South Of The Border) on the way home!
7) Find an offsite hotel whenever we arrive. Asked by DW to make a reservation based on her friend the experts recent drive down from CT. Of course I refused, saying where is your sense of adventure?
The reality:
Two employees family members passed away right before we left, and DW attended a wake on the night of departure. Instead of leaving 6PM we left 9:30PM, with Dad supervising final packing, a very bad situation. Needless to say, we will be enjoying a week worth of K4P foods upon our return. No homemade Matzo Ball Soup at the boardwalk this year. And the kids wont really miss their swim goggles this trip. Jackets? (What I thoughr, but didn't have to courage to voice: "Jackets? We don't need no stinkin' jackets! - What I actually said ====?) What do you mean dear? Oh for cool April nights, I sure well find some nice affordable Disney gear down there.
The drive:
As a child I drove all over these United States with my family on our annual vacations. Fond memories of: Mom, hes on my side! and Shes kicking me! along with I have to go to the bathroom now! not to mention . make those kids shut up! and we missed our turn 48 miles back have convinced me to share the closeness only a car vacation can induce with my family. (To repay my parents and sister for all the happy childhood vacation memories, I also considered tying my sister to the roof and my Dad in a wheelchair to the bumper, but my therapist pointed out that these actions just like radar detectors are illegal in Virginia.)
Really not bad at all. No really not bad. Seriously, Im not kidding you, the drive was actually pleasant! A mere 18 hours of drive time with 4 refueling stops, spending $110.00 for fuel. Breakfast, snacks and bathroom breaks added another 3 stops. DW and I drove 4 hours each then switched, then 3 hours before switching, then 2 hours each, and arrived in Orlando around 6PM Saturday night, way ahead of projection. Total time about 21 hours!
Only traffic was mile marker 36 in North Carolina, where they are repairing overpasses. 5 mile backup, NORTH BOUND, no SB delay at 8:30 AM. We passed three very serious accidents. Two roll-overs with airbag deployment, and a nasty multi-car smash up. Police and EMS were on location, so we kept on driving with prayers for the victims.
Day 0:
Great, we are in Orlando on a Saturday evening with no reservation Dont panic, dont let DW see you sweat . (Great, just great, her friend the expert was right, we needed reservations....What can I do? Oh yeah, my cellmate Rash said just ignore anything you don't like!) We passed all the I-4 hotels near the 118-100 mile markers do to the cloudburst monsoon we were driving through. Now were are very near Disney, No chance of a bargin hotel, not with all the reports of overcrowding at the parks I just read on the DIS! I thought to myself. So I pulled into the Orlando Information Center, in an old Mystery Maze place, and recognize I have mistakenly entered the TSZ (Time Share Zone). I turn to leave, but the door rapidly fades into the horizon. Despite my best efforts to escape, I am slowly and inexorably drawn to the sales desk. Even though the sales agents mouth is not moving, I hear the hypnotic, sales pitch-mantra-chanting begin as my consciousness fades into blackness . (one bedroom, free with tour, or discount sea world tickets, two bedroom not available ..Hail the evil one one bedroom )
I awaken at a very crowded Starwood Resort across from Disneys entrance. Look at the crowds. There is no parking at the guest lot. We go to an outside little booth during a pleasant drizzle. We are told by a pleasant lady, in some language other than English, Oh no you must go to this building (that NO ONE else is going to)! Four very bored, but pleasant employees look at each other to see who flinches first and will help us. After 5 minutes of this game of visual chicken I lay a two dollar bill (my tipping money) on the counter. Now four eager employees say (each in their own language), oh no you must go to the Club House! Now at the club house, a pleasant Russian lady tries to send us back to the outside little booth. Dosvidania baby! In side Im greeted by a line of 75 families waiting to check-in, and it is drizzling. I listen to owners complaining about the service, lines and the quality of the rooms. Next, I hear a victim, oops sales prospect saying, we just want our room, were not buying anything! Im sent to another line, and I say rather loudly, Are you sure? Ive already toured this place by myself in the rain, with all the bad directions Ive been given! I go stand in the check-in line equal to Splash Mountains standby line on the Fourth of July. A manager who heard my tale of woe, comes over and asks if he can help. Sensing a rare opportunity, I say, I was told to ask at check-in for a 2 Bedroom unit. He replied, Sorry none are available. I counter with, Look, Im not trying to get comped, Ill GLADLY pay for it! The manager gets a funny smile and faraway look in his eyes. Ill be right back, he says. 5 minutes later (No movement in the line BTW) he says, Ill have to charge you $100.00. Done, I reply. He pulls us out of line, and in 27 minutes Im in unit E-6. A beautiful 2 bedroom unit overlooking a lake. In the morning I realize how big and nice this unit is. The sofa in the living room is larger than the studio portion of the 1 Bedroom BWV unit well get tomorrow. (This dramatic element is an example of foreshadowing). The unit also has the largest private whirlpool bath I have ever seen, about 8 x 6 !!! We gladly leave in the morning bypassing the tour, and free gift offerings used to entice us. BTW maintenance is about $500 a year for 1 week in a 2BR!!!!!!! per an owner I met while standing in one of the lines......
more later....
-Tony
-Tony
Hopefully I won't disappoint you too badly:
The Fantasy:
Fond childhood memories of many a family trip by car, finally to all 48 continental states. Happy hours on the highway playing find all the state's license plates and license plate alphabet. Cries of "Mom! She's touching my side of the car!" and "It's my turn!", followed by Dad yelling, "Shut those kids up, or I'll turn this car around!" Running on empty looking for 24 cent a gallon gasoline WITH greenstamps. Meals from a cooler while Dad drives on. Swimming in the pool of our latest fleabag motel. Writing a trip report of the caliber of the immortals; Delswife and vettechick. My DW stating, "I love DISNEY!!!! Buy more DVC contracts! You were soooo right!"
The Crew:
Your Narrator: Me the forty-something, mid-life crisis Dad, busily buying up DVC contracts instead of the convertible, electric blue vette,
that I always needed, errr wanted! My motto, Plans are for wimps! My usual preparation: Lets just go and see what happens!Likes: Disney, Frogs, Polls, Corvettes, Magic, NRA, County Music, DVC and my family.
Dislikes: Rude and/or nasty people.
DW: Practical, no-nonsense backbone of the family. The Big Boss. The packer for family vacations. A planner par excelance to the tiniest detail. Doesnt really get Disney, i.e. our honeymoon back in 1990:
Me: Dear lets go to Disney ..
She: What?, Where?, Why? Are you nuts?!?
So we enjoyed our week in Jamaica at Sandals. To be fair, DW also compromised, we enjoyed our second week at WDW!!! And even though I cant have a vette, I do get to buy DVC!
Likes: Shopping, Family outings, Frogs and easy listening music.
Dislikes: Ignorant, intolerant people.
DD-12: Twelve going on Forty-One! No adult in the world has been right on any subject in the last year. Changes are a coming; we currently enjoy mood swings on what seems to be an hourly basis. During brief periods of normality, she is a helpful, honors student who plays the flute and studies karate, and made her Dojos Extreme Team, a traveling karate demonstration group.
Likes: Who knows anymore?!?, Frogs, Picking on her little brother, Today's rock.
Dislikes: Parents, Bugs.
DS-9: Too much like Dad for a peaceful 19 hour car ride. Bright, quick, funny with a sharp sense of humor. Also a great student, a backup Extreme Team member and a fierce karate competitor.
Likes: Guns, Swords, Frogs, Bugs, Picking on his little sister.
Dislikes: His big sister.
DD-4: Our baby, she has Daddy completely wrapped about her little finger. Can you buy me that? has become her mantra while watching Nickelodeon! She is excited by anything princess related, and travels very well!
Likes: Princesses, Swords, Frogs, Bugs, Picking on both her siblings and Country Music.
Dislikes: The Doctor and Needles.
Demonseed: DW's 2005 Dodge Caravan: I hate Chrysler products, you really couldnt give me one for free. DW loves the disappearing seats (Stow & Go). This 2005 Red beauty has been in the shop for more than 45 days, 5 separate times. It has also been involved in two minor accidents so far. Neither one DWs fault. The scariest and least reliable part of our crew.
Likes: Breaking down at 80 MPH in the left-hand lane
Dislikes: My family
Planning Stage: Our First Trip Home
The Plan:
1) Drive down to BWV from Northwest NJ in the new, but PROVEN unreliable 2005 Dodge Caravan. Hoping the dealer finally fixed it this last time.
2) Enjoy Passover at Disney. Bought a week worth of Kosher for Passover foods. found out Disney actually provides K4P (Kosher 4 Passover!) foods and even Seder plates at many of its eateries. Dad will keep the Holiday and let the kids also eat non-K4P foods. Note: K4P is no relation to Y2K (Yucky Too Kosher!!)
3) Barbeque one night.
4) Mini DISBoard meet hosted by Idratherbeinwdw.
5) Got AAA Trip-Tiks and Tour Books.
6) SOTB (South Of The Border) on the way home!
7) Find an offsite hotel whenever we arrive. Asked by DW to make a reservation based on her friend the experts recent drive down from CT. Of course I refused, saying where is your sense of adventure?
The reality:
Two employees family members passed away right before we left, and DW attended a wake on the night of departure. Instead of leaving 6PM we left 9:30PM, with Dad supervising final packing, a very bad situation. Needless to say, we will be enjoying a week worth of K4P foods upon our return. No homemade Matzo Ball Soup at the boardwalk this year. And the kids wont really miss their swim goggles this trip. Jackets? (What I thoughr, but didn't have to courage to voice: "Jackets? We don't need no stinkin' jackets! - What I actually said ====?) What do you mean dear? Oh for cool April nights, I sure well find some nice affordable Disney gear down there.
The drive:
As a child I drove all over these United States with my family on our annual vacations. Fond memories of: Mom, hes on my side! and Shes kicking me! along with I have to go to the bathroom now! not to mention . make those kids shut up! and we missed our turn 48 miles back have convinced me to share the closeness only a car vacation can induce with my family. (To repay my parents and sister for all the happy childhood vacation memories, I also considered tying my sister to the roof and my Dad in a wheelchair to the bumper, but my therapist pointed out that these actions just like radar detectors are illegal in Virginia.)
Really not bad at all. No really not bad. Seriously, Im not kidding you, the drive was actually pleasant! A mere 18 hours of drive time with 4 refueling stops, spending $110.00 for fuel. Breakfast, snacks and bathroom breaks added another 3 stops. DW and I drove 4 hours each then switched, then 3 hours before switching, then 2 hours each, and arrived in Orlando around 6PM Saturday night, way ahead of projection. Total time about 21 hours!
Only traffic was mile marker 36 in North Carolina, where they are repairing overpasses. 5 mile backup, NORTH BOUND, no SB delay at 8:30 AM. We passed three very serious accidents. Two roll-overs with airbag deployment, and a nasty multi-car smash up. Police and EMS were on location, so we kept on driving with prayers for the victims.
Day 0:
Great, we are in Orlando on a Saturday evening with no reservation Dont panic, dont let DW see you sweat . (Great, just great, her friend the expert was right, we needed reservations....What can I do? Oh yeah, my cellmate Rash said just ignore anything you don't like!) We passed all the I-4 hotels near the 118-100 mile markers do to the cloudburst monsoon we were driving through. Now were are very near Disney, No chance of a bargin hotel, not with all the reports of overcrowding at the parks I just read on the DIS! I thought to myself. So I pulled into the Orlando Information Center, in an old Mystery Maze place, and recognize I have mistakenly entered the TSZ (Time Share Zone). I turn to leave, but the door rapidly fades into the horizon. Despite my best efforts to escape, I am slowly and inexorably drawn to the sales desk. Even though the sales agents mouth is not moving, I hear the hypnotic, sales pitch-mantra-chanting begin as my consciousness fades into blackness . (one bedroom, free with tour, or discount sea world tickets, two bedroom not available ..Hail the evil one one bedroom )
I awaken at a very crowded Starwood Resort across from Disneys entrance. Look at the crowds. There is no parking at the guest lot. We go to an outside little booth during a pleasant drizzle. We are told by a pleasant lady, in some language other than English, Oh no you must go to this building (that NO ONE else is going to)! Four very bored, but pleasant employees look at each other to see who flinches first and will help us. After 5 minutes of this game of visual chicken I lay a two dollar bill (my tipping money) on the counter. Now four eager employees say (each in their own language), oh no you must go to the Club House! Now at the club house, a pleasant Russian lady tries to send us back to the outside little booth. Dosvidania baby! In side Im greeted by a line of 75 families waiting to check-in, and it is drizzling. I listen to owners complaining about the service, lines and the quality of the rooms. Next, I hear a victim, oops sales prospect saying, we just want our room, were not buying anything! Im sent to another line, and I say rather loudly, Are you sure? Ive already toured this place by myself in the rain, with all the bad directions Ive been given! I go stand in the check-in line equal to Splash Mountains standby line on the Fourth of July. A manager who heard my tale of woe, comes over and asks if he can help. Sensing a rare opportunity, I say, I was told to ask at check-in for a 2 Bedroom unit. He replied, Sorry none are available. I counter with, Look, Im not trying to get comped, Ill GLADLY pay for it! The manager gets a funny smile and faraway look in his eyes. Ill be right back, he says. 5 minutes later (No movement in the line BTW) he says, Ill have to charge you $100.00. Done, I reply. He pulls us out of line, and in 27 minutes Im in unit E-6. A beautiful 2 bedroom unit overlooking a lake. In the morning I realize how big and nice this unit is. The sofa in the living room is larger than the studio portion of the 1 Bedroom BWV unit well get tomorrow. (This dramatic element is an example of foreshadowing). The unit also has the largest private whirlpool bath I have ever seen, about 8 x 6 !!! We gladly leave in the morning bypassing the tour, and free gift offerings used to entice us. BTW maintenance is about $500 a year for 1 week in a 2BR!!!!!!! per an owner I met while standing in one of the lines......
more later....
-Tony
(A joke I swear!, another example of my disturbed humor. I do not know nor care about your political views!)
Keep up the great work, I can't wait to read the next section 
Rash is being PC??? What is this world coming to? 
