gratuities

[nearlyfallinstar]

honestly.. I know this is going to probably sound silly to most of you but the "babysitter" is a friend of mine who has agreed to come and we have just covered the cost of her cruise she isn't being paid anything additional.. so I kinda feel guilty about sending her to bed with the kids and going to the dinner that she and her 3 year old daughter would probably enjoy....

I understand that you don't want to ask your friend to constantly watch your kids during the entire cruise. That being said, even if it was only $300 extra to bring her along, you did pay that amount with the agreement that she would watch the kids while they are sleeping. From 8-12 (because it sounds like night life dies at that point) you paid her $75/night to watch your kids and she gets to spend the rest of the time on an awesome cruise. If I were you, I would have her stay with the kids at 8 like you planned and go to the MDR to enjoy your supper! I would feed the kids before the show, take them to see the shows, and put them to bed! If you don't have your friend/babysitter babysit at 8, then what did you spend the $300 for?

 

[nearlyfallinstar]

That also breaks down to $18.75/hour, which in my neck of the woods is really good pay for a babysitter.

 

[Weedy]

Hi I hope you have a good cruise, I know traveling with young kids can be stressful. I have a few suggestions for dinner that may help. If you think you would like to try the early dining call Disney (or have you travel agent do it) and request early dining. They will put you on the waiting list. But as others have said you will see the late show if you go to early dining.
Also what time zone are you? This may buy you an hour or so.
The nursery is available so all the adults could enjoy a least one meal together.
Hope you have a great cruise.

 

[perditax]

As for my friend, she is very appreciative of the "salary" and she would never be offended if I asked her to stay in the room. But I would feel guilty about it. It interesting to me that people are saying that the workers on the ship deserve a tip for their work but do they not also receive a cruise as salary? IF my friend did nothing but WORK for the entire cruise, it really wouldn't be much of a salary... just as the crew members work rather than enjoy the cruise. If the crew members deserve a tip... than certainly I owe it to my friend to make sure she at least gets as much out of the cruise as possible. Just trying to be fair.

I think this keeps coming up for a lot of us as a sticking point because it's confusing.

1) You bought the person a cruise.

2) ...with the expectation that she will do...what specifically?

In some posts you indicate that she is there to babysit, but in other posts you indicate that you will be feeling guilty to have her babysit. Was this really a transaction for child services, or were you just bringing the friend along to be nice? If the latter, I don't think anyone is going to judge you for that, but if you were clear about it, it would make people stop questioning the specifics of the arrangement.

For example, you say: "IF my friend did nothing but WORK for the entire cruise, it really wouldn't be much of a salary... ", but as far as I know the only thing you've mentioned is her watching the kids for a few hours each night, and you also seem to feel guilty about that part. So how does 'working for the entire cruise' become part of the conversation?

If you've employed her to watch your kids for X number of hours per night, and the payment is a cruise, there's no need to feel guilty and you should make whatever arrangements make YOU and your kids the most happy. (While tipping the servers.)

If she's a friend and you offered to pay for her cruise just to be nice, with a tacit understand that she'd maybe watch the kids sometimes (but you don't really WANT to ask her to do it), then saying you brought a babysitter along on the trip is what's caused a lot of the confusion in this thread.

 

[Yooperroo]

I've admittedly been following this thread because I'm a firm advocater for tipping those in the service industry. Their wages are determined based on the expectation that they will receive a tip (for example, most waitstaff in restaurants earn $3/hr). As far as I'm concerned, tipping the bare minimum is not optional... It is a cost that needs to be budgeted in to the total cost of the cruise. If you can't afford to tip the minimum suggestions

 

[Yooperroo]

Sorry it sent before I was done.... Continued

Then you need to not go or cut corners elsewhere.

I'm so sorry it comes across as people attacking you, but this is a sore subject for anyone that has been in the service industry.
I'm happy to hear that you plan on tipping the full amount they deserve

 

[tweis]

I've been following this thread and I think the OP has made it clear that she does intend to leave her gratuities in place. She simply was not aware of how it all worked. She did not know that the tip also covered breakfast/lunch/QS. I do not feel the need to question her as to why she is bringing the babysitter/friend along. It is a choice that she has made and is happy with it. I'm sure they will work out a schedule so that maybe she and her DH will have the downtime that they are seeking. Good luck OP. I hope you have a wonderful cruise.

 

[lizabu]

I think the absolute only reason you should not tip is if you receive poor service. Anything else is in very poor taste. With all the money you pay for a cruise it seems kind of silly to quibble over the tip. It's like going to a fine dining restaurant and ordering the lobster and then stiffing the waiter because you thought the meal was expensive. Whether you use the MDR or not you're still getting top notch service at all your meals. And what about your stateroom host? What did they do to deserve getting stiffed? They're in you're room at least twice a day cleaning and turn down etc. I'm also in the camp that it seems like an enormous waste to not use the MDRs too. Depending on the cruise you're only other options may be fast food by the pool or room service. I know I didn't spend so much to eat pizza and chicken nuggets the whole time. If the kids have so many issues, the older ones at least could be in the kids club. They will even feed them. Then you only need to deal with the baby. Even then you could pay for nursery time. Anything just to get through a meal or a show.

 

[Bree]

I know this is a tipping question thread, but....

WHY can't your DH watch your kids so you can get a hair cut? He helped make them. He can help watch them. Don't be a martyr.

 

[budwmn]

To the OP, I'm so sorry your question has received such a heated response. I honestly don't understand the reaction. You asked a simple question, it was answered, and you agreed. Why anyone is even commenting on when or where you dine or how you've arranged childcare is beyond me. Do what works for you and your family. Enjoy YOUR vacation in a way that makes YOU happy. Wishing you and your family a magical cruise!

 

[RHSTigerMom]

It's too late now, but if you're looking for a vacation/honeymoon, I'd leave the kids at home. They are too young to really enjoy or remember the cruise and it won't be a lot different than being at home, having to work around naps, early bedtimes, etc.

I agree with other posters about the friend/babysitter. If she is going to help with the kids, then there should be clear guidelines and expectations set with her ahead of time, especially if she has a 3 yo. Good luck.

 

[Justacruiser]

I would recommend going the day you depart to request the MAIN dining rotation. It will designate the time and location to go and request. Be there 10 minutes early. IF you get MAIN dining, you can request when you sit down to order something for the kids. They bring it out quickly. The babysitter could also order something and in future nights review the menu the night before to have it ready when they bring ths kids food. Very easy. Adn when the kids get tired, the babysitter can take them to the room. You might find that the babysitter can enjoy all his/her food or might need the man course prepared to go or even have it delivered to the room. But the main point is that you tried and the babysitter got to see the MDR's.

It's worth a shot to me. If that option doesn't work for MAIN dining, then you go to other options. Just MHO.

 

[jetskigrl]

How long is the cruise? If you are worried about your sitter being stuck in the room every night, why not split the time between her and the nursery. I know it will add a little expense but if you budget for it now, it might be worth it. For a 4-night cruise, do 2 nights with the sitter and 2 nights where the twins go to the nursery and everyone else enjoys a meal together. That will give you and your DH a couple of nights dining alone and also give your friend and her DD a chance to enjoy the MDRs too.

 

[Flhokie]

I'd suggest trying to get moved to early seating dining and give it a try. The children's menu has a lot of what is offered at quikservice dining & more. We had early seating and were often out by 6:45. There are so many kids in the dining rooms that there will always be some that are acting up. Unlike other cruises, I never felt the pressure that DD exhibit perfect behavior at all times like on other lines (of course we strived for it, but it's just not realistic 100% of the time with little ones).

If you get early seating & it doesn't work out, then go for one of your other plans. it will all work out in the end.

They do broadcast the shows on the stateroom tv's and some are done in the afternoon. Those might be some other options for the shows.

Hope you have a great cruise!!

 

[jrapps]

To the OP...the best advice I can offer is to take a deep breath and relax. I know you came here asking a simple question and the emotion on this topic probably caused you more stress than you needed this close to your vacation. Your reasons for brining a babysitter are your own, don't let anyone here make you feel like you made a poor decision. I think what you are trying to do is very admirable caring about the experience of your friend as much as your own family.

Some people here are thankfully trying to help you with your real issue (not the gratuity question) but of course how to enjoy both dinner and work with your kids schedule. I assume at this point paying for the nursery for a few hours each night on the ship is out...I will say we did this for my 11 month old son and it was wonderful. But I also know about making every dollar count so that may not be the best option for you. Maybe you can do it for at least one night?

I suggest you and your husband get late dinner and have your guest get early dining. You can get your kids quick service food and get them in bed on time while your friend enjoys dinner (and yes dinner is one of the highlights of a cruise in my opinion). You already said you had your friend agree to watch them after 8 so this works with their schedule, and then you can enjoy late dinner. The only thing is you will all miss the shows. The only option I can come up with for this is you split the nights. Once night you stay later in the room to let them see an after dinner show, and one day they watch your kids earlier so you can catch one before dinner. Compromise is the only way to make it all work.

Either way I hope you have a wonderful stress free cruise. You saved a long time for this trip...enjoy it!!!

 

[CampbellzSoup]

Sorry it sent before I was done.... Continued

Then you need to not go or cut corners elsewhere.

I'm so sorry it comes across as people attacking you, but this is a sore subject for anyone that has been in the service industry.
I'm happy to hear that you plan on tipping the full amount they deserve

So your attacking someone because the company who is making record breaking profits don't pay their workers a decent salary and force the customers to make up for it?

The tipping system is completely broken esp when people yell at others instead of the company who expects you to pay their workers instead of reforming where they get paid fairly.

You would also think on a Disney cruise where it's skmetimes 3x the same amount for the same ports of call even If you don't have kids to use their kids club to still force the guests into paying their workers is nuts.

I do it because its not right to the employees but if someone else doesn't want to tip they don't have to it, or feel pressured to do so.

 

[KBinCO]

I think people are being a little too hyper sensitive in this post. Asking questions and making suggestions is hardly yelling and attacking.

 

[Yooperroo]

So your attacking someone because the company who is making record breaking profits don't pay their workers a decent salary and force the customers to make up fot it

Wow! I certainly didn't attack anyone! I never said one thing that was mean or could be taken as offensive. I was trying to explain where others might have been coming from and why they responded the way they did and then said that I was sorry that it felt like an attack. Sheesh...

 

[CampbellzSoup]

Eh I didn't mean it like that I apologize I JUST got in a heated debate the other day about tipping and how it's not fair these people aren't paid accordingly.

All love from this end!

 

[Dug720]

So your attacking someone because the company who is making record breaking profits don't pay their workers a decent salary and force the customers to make up for it?

The tipping system is completely broken esp when people yell at others instead of the company who expects you to pay their workers instead of reforming where they get paid fairly.

You would also think on a Disney cruise where it's skmetimes 3x the same amount for the same ports of call even If you don't have kids to use their kids club to still force the guests into paying their workers is nuts.

I do it because its not right to the employees but if someone else doesn't want to tip they don't have to it, or feel pressured to do so.

Clearly the employees who sign contracts over and over don't feel that they are paid unfairly. Those who aren't happy with their compensation don't renew contracts, it's that simple.

I could take this elsewhere, but I won't. Other than to say that in terms of wages, Disney is not the only cruiseline where positions are tip-dependent. And the ones I've encountered on Disney are head and shoulders above those I encountered on HAL in terms of performance and attitude. So clearly DCL is doing something right by their crew.