Grandparents Question

[aubriee]

I have a GD (who just turned 9 y/o last Sunday) and lives with my eldest son. My younger son and D-I-L also have a 7 1/2 month old son. I've taken my GD to San Antonio alone for a week (when she was 7 y/o) and took her to WDW this past January. A month or two before we left, I decided to include her dad in the WDW trip, so now plan on taking her back to WDW next spring on a trip for just the two of us. I took my younger son and D-I-L to WDW Sept 17th-24th, but they did not want to take the baby, so left him at home with his other grandparents. I don't want to make a difference in the two grandkids, but know there is no way I can include the 7 month old in the spring trip, as then my GD wouldn't get to ride the rides she wants, plus the 7 month old is really too young for me to take that far by myself. However I have a D-I-L, who is rather jealous of my GD (even though she loves her dearly) and seems to resent my trips with my GD. She has started reminding me that I'll be needing to take Logan on trips too and has even suggested I wait to take my GD back, until Logan is able to go. She says maybe when he is about 4 y/o, but my son says about 7 or 8 y/o, so he'll remember it. However, I feel it would not be fair for me to make my GD wait another 4-7 years to go back, plus at 13 y/o-16 y/o she probably would not want to spend a vacation with her GM and little cousin. I know we'll be taking several more trips, before my GS is old enough to go with me and even then because of their age difference I'll be taking them seperately. How do other grandparents handle this? or for that matter those of you who have nieces or nephews significantly older or younger than your kids, how do your parents handle it and what are your feelings on it?

 

[joksten2000]

i HAD A SIMILIAR PROBLEM IN 1999. My son had two children 4 & 8 and my daughter was committed to her future husband married now (a great wedding on the beach in Mexico) They couldn't get the time off so I took the son and gk's to WDW. I felt bad about going without them but there time will come and 4 is a perfect time for WDW the eight year old had a blast he was really into autograhs. Who's to say you'll be alive in 4 or 5 years. No guarantees in this life, take your gk while your here now. Your dil may not understand or be selfish or feel your slighting them but they'll wake up. GO FOR IT!!!!

 

[missymagic]

My girls are only three years apart but mom takes turns with them. when it is their special time. You are right GD wouldnt be able to do a lot of the thrill rides having GS along. I have had that problem for the past couple of years since youngest was so petite and their usually wasn't another adult to ride swap with me. Maybe their is a theme park maybe not as big as Disney closer to where they live geared toward little ones you could take him and have your special time until he is old enough. My heart goes out to you it is a tough decision but in the end he will get as much time with you there as she does.

 

[tlbwriter]

However I have a D-I-L, who is rather jealous of my GD (even though she loves her dearly) and seems to resent my trips with my GD. She has started reminding me that I'll be needing to take Logan on trips too and has even suggested I wait to take my GD back, until Logan is able to go. She says maybe when he is about 4 y/o, but my son says about 7 or 8 y/o, so he'll remember it. However, I feel it would not be fair for me to make my GD wait another 4-7 years to go back, plus at 13 y/o-16 y/o she probably would not want to spend a vacation with her GM and little cousin. I know we'll be taking several more trips, before my GS is old enough to go with me and even then because of their age difference I'll be taking them seperately.

Tell her what you told us - (a) Logan is too young for you to take right now, (b) it's not fair to make GD wait to go until Logan is old enough, and (c) Logan will get special trips with grandma on his own and you are looking forward to them.

 

[HopperFan]

I am a family where my kids are teens, my sis's are elementary and my bros are toddlers. My mom spent lots of time on trips (also taking me) when mine were younger, now she can't do it as easily with the next group so she spends lots of time having them over to her home doing crafts and for sleep overs, and she visits with the toddlers with their parents but am sure when they are older then they can stay over with her too. She never got to my kids school events, but goes to the others. We are all okay with her doing what ever she can do. Everyone gets their special time with Grandma and no rule book says that it has to be at the same time or even the same experience !

Take your grandaughter on the trip and enjoy that wonderful special time together. I promise you she will treasure the memories forever. Absolutely do not wait, there is no reason why you should.

Tell your DIL and son that when their son is old enough for all of you to be comfortable with him going on a trip, you hope to take him/them as well. If they are local, maybe for now ask to keep him overnight so they can have an evening out and you can enjoy him to yourself. They will know that you want to spend time with him, but for now that does not mean traveling.

ps Traveling with a baby isn't easy for parents let alone a grandparent. You said they didn't even want to include him on the last trip, so I can't imagine they expect you to handle him the next trip.

 

[Nancyg56]

Tell her what you told us - (a) Logan is too young for you to take right now, (b) it's not fair to make GD wait to go until Logan is old enough, and (c) Logan will get special trips with grandma on his own and you are looking forward to them.

Exactly right. I only have 1 grandchild, but have numerous nieces and nephews, all ages. I did what I could with each one, and never felt badly if I took one here, and another one there. I loved them all, they knew it, and their parents knew it. Somehow it all evens out.

 

[Memaw2Wm]

Tell her what you told us - (a) Logan is too young for you to take right now, (b) it's not fair to make GD wait to go until Logan is old enough, and (c) Logan will get special trips with grandma on his own and you are looking forward to them.

This is what I would do ... the baby's time will come.

I was just discussing this recently with my DD ... she has a 10 y.o., an almost 9 y.o. and a one month old. We've already discussed whether or not we want to take the baby to Disney next summer/fall and pretty much decided that I'll just take the older two ... the baby will have plenty of chances to go when he's a bit older.