"Grandma" showers?

[4nana]

Say it isn't so, 13 grands and never a Nana shower, I feel so cheated!!!

Actually, this is not a custom practiced in our area . I admit, as a Nana, being recipient of few small gifts at my DD's showers tho....perhaps mug, grandparents album or frame, keyring, etc. Whatever we might need for the grand blessings are mostly furnished by our DD's, however we have no problems and have enjoyed buying some items ourselves. With that being said, I'm sure for some first time GP's, it's thought to be a neat idea.

 

[lilyv]

Seems to me that most grandparents these days were born in at least the 1960s, if not the 1950s. Most people born in the 70s are in their 30s. I don't think many of them are grandparents. I can't even imagine a person born in the 1980s being a grandparent! My cousin was born *in* 1980...she's 28! I guess if she gave birth at 14 and then her daughter gave birth at 14...but then we have bigger issues than a grandma shower.

For age comparison-
I'm a young Nana-48. I have friends that still have kids in junior high. I barely qualify as a baby boomer, majority are much older than me.
My kids are 23 and 25. About the "me" generation referenced a few posts above. (#18) I think I know what you're talking about. I've never bought into the values of the "me" generation. I know I'm not alone in that by a long shot. The "me" people were (and probably still are) just very vocal.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think it is totally ridiculous. Can you imagine all the grandmothers who "think" (rather decided) they'll be doing so much childcare for their new grandchild that they "need" a shower only to find out that they will not be babysitting all that much or at all? I have seen people who are quite capable of trying to take over when they really aren't wanted/needed/or even able to but insist they are. Sounds cruel but it does happen.
All in all though- you don't need 2 and 3 sets of stuff. If Grandma is babysitting that much then haul the stuff she needs over there. Sounds like a gift grab to me.

 

[Maleficent13]

I was born durning the "me generation". I am talking about those who lived throught the "me generation" . I am in my late 30s and was raised by parents who were part of the "all about me 70s and 80s". Not that those born durning those years are grandparents

Interesting. My apologies for misunderstanding. I guess I was merrily oblivious to a whole generation. I always thought this (give or take a year or two):

1980-2000 - Generation Y
1965-1979 - Generation X
1946-1964 - Baby Boom

 

[ilisao]

My friend is pregnant. I want a "friend of the mother" shower just because I exist.

Seriously, it is tacky beyond belief. I would never attend or contribute to something like that If the grandparent is babysitting, haul your own pack n play over and let the baby be changed on the bed or floor.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I knew I should have asked my friends to throw me a "puppy shower" back in Jan when we got our new pup. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

 

[lilyv]

I wanted to add something else to this thread-don't assume most grandparents would think this was socially acceptable.
A big part of the role of a grandparent is being supportive. It's up to Mom and Dad to decide what kind of equipment they want to use-brand of bottles if needed, type of pacifier, and so on. There is no good reason for the Mom and Dad's home to have all the baby equipment, and then also have the grandmother's home outfitted as a baby's r us satellite store. It's just wrong.
Hopefully grandparents will just say no to well meaning friends that are going over the top. And, if they really want to help-either gift the parents or gift a charity.

 

[Deb in IA]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who went when I got the announcment about this "shower".


The suggestion was that everyone contribute to "group gift" for the grandma.

And by the way, the grandma is a fully employed nurse practitioner. Both her son and her daughter had their first children in the last couple of months. Both her children are married and working - no overseas deployments, etc.

Now, what to do about that contribution . . .

 

[My2Cinderellas]

If anything, I'd give a donation to your favorite children's charity in her name. I think a grandparent's shower is beyond tacky. Except of course, for someone who will be raising their grandchild like the military situation.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I've never even heard of a "grandma shower" before now. It sounds pretty tacky to me.

 

[golfgal]

I knew I should have asked my friends to throw me a "puppy shower" back in Jan when we got our new pup. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

No, no, no, the Puppy Shower is when they turn one to replace all the furniture they chewed up, not when you first get them. I think Emily Post has a book on Puppy Showers someplace .

 

[tonilea]

One word: TACKY.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Beyond Tacky! That sounds like a reality show.

Deb, in regards to what to do, if it was me I would just buy a bouquet of flowers and tell the grandmother, "Congratulations". But thats just me.

 

[Deb in IA]

Well, one of her fellow nurses has been at my office 2 times already today, asking if I wanted to contribute to the group gift.

I can't put her off any longer. I really want to say, "Hell NO, I don't want to contribute! Let her buy her own grandbaby stuff!"

But, I caved, since I have to work with these people every day, and gave $5.

 

[Julia M]

When our oldest was born some of my MIL's friends took her out to lunch and gave her baby presents like picture frames and a pack and play to keep at her house. They called it a 'shower'. This was her first grandchild and she was the last of her friends to have a 'first' grandchild so they did it all in fun. I see no problem with that but one that sends out invites to people not involved in the planning, no, I would not attend one.

I have sent presents to first time grandparents, usually some cute bibs or a frame that say something about grandparents on them.

My mom and her friends (all around the same age) did something like this.......with the first of their group of friends to become a grandma, they all went out to lunch and brought something for the new grandma....then it became a tradition, as each mom became a grandma. (This is the same group of ladies who go out to eat for each of their birthdays, too). These same ladies, of course, all came to the "real" showers for the mom to be.

I always thought it was sweet.

Maybe the difference is that this is a group of close friends, who have known each other for years, rather than sending out lots of invites to a varied group of people. It was also a group of grandmas whose kids all lived in the area, so the odds were baby would be over at their house.

Or, maybe my mom and her friends are just tacky

julia

 

[mrsklamc]

Please no one tell my mother. She already thinks my wedding was all about her.

 

[Kathi OD]

Please no one tell my mother. She already thinks my wedding was all about her.

My first grandchild is 20 months old. No one threw me a granny shower! Her little brother is only 2 months old. Didn't have one when he was born either. Guess I'm just not special enough. Maybe my friends don't really like me or my kid. But then again, maybe they are like me and think the whole idea is just ridiculous.

 

[kpm76]

Well, one of her fellow nurses has been at my office 2 times already today, asking if I wanted to contribute to the group gift.

I can't put her off any longer. I really want to say, "Hell NO, I don't want to contribute! Let her buy her own grandbaby stuff!"

But, I caved, since I have to work with these people every day, and gave $5.

That was going to be my suggestion...give $5 and walk away. From what you described, the family does not seem to fit into a category of need (i.e. everyone is gainfully employed) so this is ridiculous....

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

When our oldest was born some of my MIL's friends took her out to lunch and gave her baby presents like picture frames and a pack and play to keep at her house. They called it a 'shower'. This was her first grandchild and she was the last of her friends to have a 'first' grandchild so they did it all in fun. I see no problem with that but one that sends out invites to people not involved in the planning, no, I would not attend one.

I have sent presents to first time grandparents, usually some cute bibs or a frame that say something about grandparents on them.

Tacky can't begin to describe this. My mom would never allow anyone to do that.

If anyone even thought about giving my MIL anything for a child I have/adopt, I will have to stand my ground, I can't stand the woman and she is not going to profit from my child, especially since she lives all the way on te other side of the US (there is a God), but I can sure bet she will try. Lucky for her we can't have children and may not be able to adopt either.

Suzanne

 

[mrsheppo]

I have never heard of Grandma Showers before now. I do find it incredibly tacky. I could not imagine any of my friends or coworkers buying me gifts because I am lucky enough to become a grandma - my second grandson arrived 2 weeks ago.

When my younger granddaughter was given up by her mom and DH and I adopted her, I had 3 friends give me baby gifts. 2 of the gifts were handmade blankets and the other was a pack of onesies. I thanked each person profusely but never expected anyone to give me a shower with the little one's adoption.