Goodbye Batboy. So long worlds largest cat

[JennyMominRI]

Weekly world new is closing shop

Some people say that they go to the supermarket for food. Those people are called "liars."

Most people, if you dig down deep, go to the supermarket for tabloids, and not just the glossy celebrity magazines that have multiplied like gremlins in the last ten years. I mean real, honest-to-badness tabloids, the newspapers for which truth and responsibility and even reality are other people's hang-ups.

And now, the world is poorer, thanks to the news this week that American Media will cease publication of one of the great pieces of trash this country has ever produced: the Weekly World News. (Read more about it here and here.)


Published since 1979, the WWN has staunchly refused, for the most part, to tell us about Lindsay or Paris or Britney, instead opting for stories about aliens, Satan, giant pigs rampaging through the Georgia woods, Nostradamus-like prophets, time travel, and, of course, Bat Boy. In an increasingly frightening world, the Weekly World News provided regular -- you might even say weekly -- respite in the form of pedal-to-the-metal stupidity. It's too bad that WWN didn't break the story of its own demise, because then we would know that it wasn't true.

 

[cardaway]

Who needs the WWN when you've got Drudge?

 

[Evil Genius]

My dh used to love Batboy. He was weird I know.

 

[mellowmood]

Where ever will I get my Batboy fix now?

 

[midge3426]

I will miss them. They had such entertaining stories about aliens, obese cats, anorexic cats, and other strange things. What will I do without my weekly fix of totally absurd headlines. I will indeed miss them.

 

[Planogirl]

It was fun to read the headlines. This is actually kind of sad.

 

[Stacerita]

I used to get a kick out of reading the WWN. Those headlines and stories were the worst (or best depending on how you look at it). Almost none of the stories seemed real. That's why it was so entertaining to me.

I think it was in "So I Married An Axe Murderer" that the mom called it "the paper". Like as in the newspaper. Thats where she got her news from and facts. Hilarious.

Im gonna miss the WWN. And long live BatBoy!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Awww......I loved that rag. Me and the DD's would read it with relish.

RIP WWNs.......

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OKAY...in honor....

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/world_headlines/50

MAN DISCOVERS TERRIFYING SECRET! ‘I Accidentally Dug a Gravity Well!’

By DICK SIEGEL

CALCUTTA, India — When a drought-stricken farmer began digging for water, little did he know he’d tap into one of the most powerful forces in the universe!

“Due to a particularly severe summer, it hadn’t rained in the Jodphur District in more than seven months,” forty-five-year-old Dhavi Rancour told Weekly World News. “My crops were turning to dust and the livestock — well, they were more like ‘near-death’-stock. Despite my prayers, I knew there was little chance of getting much needed water.”

That was when the desperate farmer — and father of fifteen — decided to take matters into his own hands…and those of his children.

“I had every member of the family go out with shovels, digging up our land, hoping to strike water,” he said. “I myself roamed from dawn to dusk with a divining rod, hoping the wooden stick would be drawn to water.”

After weeks of failure, the rod was suddenly seized by an unimaginable force.

“It literally pulled me head over heels into a small gully alongside a dried-out stream,” Rancour said. “I immediately began digging. At sixteen feet, I could feel something moving just beneath the last layer of dried sediment. With one more thrust of the shovel, I was through! I waited for a gush of cool, life-giving water.

“But that was not what I had found,” he said. “I had discovered something more — something much more.”

Abruptly, a vortex spun up from the hole — a gyrating maelstrom of pure energy that began to exert a pull on everything in the immediate vicinity.

“It began sucking objects of all shapes and sizes into the whirling abyss — sheep, withered corn stalks and barren berry bushes. I clung to the trunk of a large tree as the strange force tore planks of wood from my barn and reduced them to splinters! The roots of the tree began to leave the Earth, and as I was drawn ever closer to the great maw I prayed once again — for salvation!”

Suddenly, the powerful vortex dislodged a boulder that was much larger than its aperture. As the granite chunk flew in, it sealed the well. A grateful Rancour dropped to the ground and hurriedly piled additional stones atop the opening to ensure it remained closed.

“Oddly enough, the removal of the boulder had opened up an underground stream, giving us water at last,” Rancour revealed. “Whatever that vortex was, it was an instance of an irresistible force meeting many movable objects.”

Though geologists were not immediately able to provide Weekly World News with an explanation, one suggested that Mr. Rancour may have inadvertently uncovered the black hole of Calcutta.