Good news and bad news

[dianeschlicht]

Originally posted by Desperado
Bring the cats, pay for them to stay in the Disney kennel and visit them every day. Have your BIL stay there too, but visit him less often. Problem solved.

LOL! That's the best suggestion so far! I would NOT let the cost of kenneling a couple of cats put the brakes on this trip!

 

[Simba's Mom]

Hopefully, Spiceycat will respond-I'm pretty sure she's used the WDW kennels and would have some info for you. If you lived down here in the Rio Grande Valley, maybe I could help you out. But others are right, I think this is just the first in a long line of gripes, and if BIL goes with you, he'd find a million things to gripe about there, and be sure he could ruin every one else's trip (I'll bet deep down, sis would love to get away for a vacation without him!)

 

[Deemarch]

I'd be careful if I were you...Like the other posters have hinted at, you may be footing alot of the bill for this trip yourself! As long as you are able to do this and want to, go for it! Otherwise, I vote to take the kids & Grandma & Grandpa.

 

[canwegosoon]

Misdis

Dumbo

We all have them don't we...(could be a Dumso too ).

 

[wtpclc]

I'm a animal lover, but cats are pretty self-sufficeint. We just have a neighbor check on them every now an d then. If there's more than one, they won't be too lonely. Find a neighbor child and give 'em $10.

 

[cruise-o-matic]

I agree, leave the Ne'er do well BIL at home with the Cats. He'll only bring gloom anyway and grumble about having to spend $.

....and make sure your sis leaves her cell phone off.

 

[slk537]

I am so sorry this is happening to you!

First of all, I agree with the posters regarding cat care. On previous trips we have left our three cats at home with an extra litter box or two and a huge bowl of food and several large bowls of water. This has kept them happy and safe for a week. Our last two trips, however, we had the Litter Maid (WOW this box is great!) and did the same with the food and water, but my Dad stopped over to get mail, check on the cats, etc.

However, this isn't really about the cats, is it? This is about your Dumbo (Kudos for this nickname!!!!!) trying to exert control over the trip. The cats are a transparently stupid excuse to ruin things for everyone. Maybe he doesn't really want to go...maybe he wants to keep your parents from seeing what a loser he is in contrast to your ability to give such a wonderful gift...maybe he just wants to be a controlling jerk...who knows?

I know you have almost a year to decide this, but my advice (and believe me, I have experience with in laws ) is to talk to your mom and dad and make sure they know you want them there no matter what. Then talk to your sister and offer to take her kids with you and she and Dumbo can wallow at home. I predict that you'll end up either with a full house (sis and Dumbo included) or just your parents. But honestly...try to call his bluff. It's your vacation and your gift and you shouldn't have to compromise and let him ruin it.

Good luck!!!!
Jennifer
(Steve and Max)

 

[SleepyatDVC]

Originally posted by Happy Birthday Cat
Suggest that he stay home and watch the cats and bring your sister and your parents on the trip.

HBC

That's a good one!

 

[Pa@okw95]

Your brother in law appears to have some issues!! There is going to be a problem making a reservation 11 months in advance with your family, the marriage may not last that long (sis & BIL). You have a problem that many members have that is they learn that making reservation at WDW for other family members just does not work out all the time. I know you want to show the place off and have a great family event down there, but my advice to you is forget it, enjoy the place yourself, you don't need the head-aches. You are not alone in this situation, many families are just like your with one real idot in the family or more sometimes. You are going to have big time head-aches trying to pull anything off regarding a vacation with that crew. Good luck

 

[kathleena]

He sounds pretty selfish to me. I say leave him at home to sit with the cats and bring the rest of the family.

What's he have in his house that he can't let a neighbor or a cat-sitter in for?

Of course - this may just be his excuse to not spend the money, given the employment situation - you know, rather than saying - we don't have the money?

Well, if he won't stay home by himself - I would insist the parents go. You never know what changes a year can bring - for me it was the death of my dear mom. I couldn't get her to go with us on a trip and then she was gone within a year. That was 7 years ago and I'm still upset about it.

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

My first response is, like others have said, to stockpile food, water, and litter boxes---which is what we've always done.

But, I do think this is just his excuse for not going. Maybe he is too embarrassed to say that they can't afford it. and if your sister is backing him up, then she probably won't go without him.

So, it seems to me that you have two choices:

1. Take your parents and have a wonderful time without your sister's family.

2. Have a heart to heart talk with sis AND BIL--explain that you know things are tough right now, etc, but you want them to come as a GIFT from you with no strings attached, etc.

I know it would be hard given your feelings (understandably) about your BIL, but if he knows the family thinks of him as a deadbeat, etc, it's no wonder he doesn't want to come. And if your sister won't come without him, I would think you might need to work on him.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!!

 

[TwingleMum]

Kimmy-man~ What a kind person you are. I agree with the general concensus. Could you talk in private with your sis or call her at work and ask her for a solution. Tell her you really want your parents to go and enjoy WDW with everyone while they still are able. Would BIL agree to you and the grandparents taking just the kids to WDW?? What about Dumbo's parents can they cat sit?? What would a kennel cost for the cats? Will BIL agree if someone pays for it. And I'm sorry (I am an animal lover) but why should a cat be given more consideration than the grandparents. I mean BIL has to get his priorities straight. Hes treating the cats better than his children.

 

[mowog]

Haven't read all the replys so this may be redundant- My wife who reads people real well says that no matter what you offer to do your BIL will find a reason not to go as he is being difficult from the get-go. If he was interested or excited he would't have thrown in the roadblocks. Save yourself some grief and forget him. Don't feel the least bit guilty as you have tried. If your Mom and Dad live near your sister (and her husband) they could probably use a nice break!

Good Luck Jean & Bob

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

The original post indicated that it was the BIL who insists that the grandparents can't go (must take care of the cats) so that the BIL and his wife and kids can go. I think that anyone who would be heartless enough to put his in-laws in such an unfair position has a problem that goes well beyond just finding a solution to a cat-care dilemma. He may be the kind of person who enjoys manipulating others in order to feel powerful himself, and that kind of person needs to be stopped.

 

[JimC]

Originally posted by Happy Birthday Cat
Suggest that he stay home and watch the cats and bring your sister and your parents on the trip.

HBC

Sounds like a winner to me as well!

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/994.gif' alt='Petting' border=0></a>

 

[garylpn]

1st priority: take your parents now matter who else goes, i never got a chance to take mine together, lost dad last year and it's now my intent to take mom and some of the grandchildren in turns with her
2nd priority: take the children, every child should at least experience wdw once while growing up, you never get a second chance, time has a way of racing by, one day it's little princess outfits and the next day it's prom outfits and wedding dresses
3rd priority: offer sis chance to tag along, she might need the break from husband
4th priority: problem person is free to go but probably won't and that's ok as i agree with previous posters that he can be expected to spend his time and effort dragging everyone elses vacation down, unfortunately i have a brother like that, too sour on life, can't enjoy anything without complaining about the cost, crowd, waiting on line, etc, so as far as i'm concerned he's free to stay home and complain to an empty house
just my .02 worth

 

[stacy6552]

tell him to cut open a costco bag of cat chow and get one of those self cleaning litter boxes.


Otherwise bring parents and sis/kids and leave her husband at home.

 

[manning]

TwingleMum -- BIL does have his priorities straight, in his own strange mind, and he isn't even on the same page as everyone else. And will not ever be.

We have a few BIL in our family and you will never change them. Don't try, just work around them.

 

[COACHSTING]

Keep us updated on how this all works out. You have gotten a lot of good advice here. You obviously have a big heart and want the whole family to just enjoy a vacation together.

Do you know how your parents really feel about the whole thing? My concern would be two things. One, as another poster stated is if BIL is just looking for excuses to get out of coming and he doesn't feel comfortable just saying no. In that case, you will end up booking accomodations much larger than you need and they will most assuredly cancel at the last minute and you'll lose or limit the use of your points.

My other concern, is how excited were Mom and Dad to go to Disney? Do you have any reservations with how quickly they rolled over and volunteered to mind the cats? Or with how accomodating your sister was to your BIL concerns and agreed not to go. We don't know your family or the family dynamics but I see a few red flags ..not just the BIL.

If everyting is at face value...leave BIL home to mind the cats. He'll be happier and the rest of you will have a better time without him. That doesn't make him a bad person just a bad disney companion.

 

[lurontravel]

I agree with Coachsting, you'd better re-visit how your parents feel about going too. If they are enthusiastic, I'd ask them to please come, and suggest that they let your DS and BIL make their own cat arrangements. If your DS is truly interested (or seemed to be) I'd consider asking her family again, and if the cat excuse is used, suggest that BIL stay home with them, and she and kids join you, or just the kids! I agree that I'd hate for my parents to miss out on a trip with my family b/c of some person who hoped to spoil everyone elses fun just b/c he could make others as miserable as he appears to be.

I have my own family-in-law dilemmas regarding our DVC membership...so I appreciate where you're coming from. My siseter in law was lamenting the fact that we and especially our kids don't get to see each other b/c we live so far away from each other. I thought about it, and figured out a way for us to use points to get nice accomodations that will give all of us some of our own space, and some room to all get together at the same time. I called her up and told her that if she buys the airline and park tickets (she and her DH are both doctors), we'd pay for accomodations. She immediatly came up with 1.) "the kids are in school here during that week (I doubt it, b/c of the way that the holidays fall that year) 2.) "that is a very busy time for us doctors" (it isn't a busy time for the doctors I work with) and 3.) "that is way too far ahead for us to plan" (give me a break, then why does she not say "that it sounds nice, but we can't make that decision quite yet. We'll keep it in mind when we make our other vacation plans for that year so we can try to make it work. Can we let you know for sure in summer of 2005?" instead of making up excuses as to why it won't work?) I plan to re-ask "them" once I've made the reservations (I want us all to go Jan 1-5 of 2006), and if they still have three or four excuses as to why not at that time, I'll tell them that we'll miss them, and that it's too bad. I will then cancel their part of the reservation (it'll be a 2 BR at BWV or OKW) and won't bother to invite her again... My FIL and his wife said that they will be happy to come, and said to let them know when it is closer to the date, and they'll buy their plane tickets. Too bad it looks like they won't be able to experience WDW with all of their grandchildren, and our kids won't be able to get together at WDW.

Sorry, just had to add my own bit of frustration!