Oh my, a post so true to my heart! I agree, you will hear many answers to this one as well. I think in your case, it sounds like you really have no choice but to go when your hubby can go, and family vacations are also important in growing up.
We have always taken a beach or Disney vacation in the fall or early spring, and last year we did a
Disney Cruise in January. Our daughter was in Kindergarten for the cruise. It was fine. No questions asked. Neighbors with kids in the same school district all said you can get away with this up until about 3-4th grade. After that, it's nearly impossible due to the amount of work given. Especially in HS or if kids are in AP type classes.
Recently we moved to NC. DD will be in 1st grade this year, and I really wanted to go to WDW during one of the first two weeks of Dec. Prices lower, crowds lower, but still decorated. I decided against it for our own personal reasons. We just booked our trip where we will go down the day after she ends for winter break. We'll be in the park for xmas eve and Christmas Day! Since we don't have family here anyway, we decided to go as a special family Christmas for the three of us.
My main concern as that this new school system STRONGLY discourages it. They state a child cannot miss more than 10 days of school or they will not be promoted to the next grade. So, I did not feel comfortable using up 5 of those days, in case of illness, or if we have to travel back North for an emergency such as a funeral.
Yes, it's costing us more, but I already feel a weight off my shoulders that I don't have to do any explaining to teachers, etc. Like that feeling of having to go the Principle's office, silly, I know, but I'm now relieved that I don't even have to have the conversation.
Now, if I could just figure out what to do about Santa!
good luck to you, I think you have to do what you have to do!