Gobsmacked by rude, presumptuous neighbor UPDATE - post 94!

[shortbun]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

 

[ticktock]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

For a peacenik your really agressive aren't you .

Well, they “technically” go back into their yard, plant themselves RIGHT ON the property line, and start screaming army chants (I don’t know but I’ve been told . . . ). This is clearly for our benefit, but DH goes back into the garage. Because no one responds to them, they go back to playing ball, and as I’m taking the garbage out, I’m standing right there when a ball whizzes past my nose and hits the garage! (BTW – I am forty weeks pregnant and TODAY IS MY DUE DATE but no baby yet). DH hears the thunk and comes out. The kids scatter and he picks up their ball and takes it. Ten minutes later the kids are back lurking on the property line. DH goes out again, and is still trying to be nice – he explains to them again that he asked them nicely a bunch of times, they ignored him and still hit the ball into our yard, but he’ll give it back if they promise to switch their game to another direction (he gives the ball back).

This isn't about kids hitting a few balls into their yard. If my DS ever behaved like this I would be APPALLED and he would be grounded, only allowed out to go next door and do what ever chores the offended party could think up for him. That you think this is in anyway acceptable behaviour or that the OP CAUSED this behaviour with her lack of "getting to know" the poor dears makes me question your judgment.

 

[ilisao]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

No one should have to state their feelings about the boundary issue. It is NOT their property. These kids were trespassing and taught that doing so is acceptable.

Asking them to keep their balls and game out of her yard is hardly harrassing.

Amazing how people just continue to foster this sense of entitlement.

 

[MushyMushy]

That would drive me crazy! I'm with you in that I wouldn't want kids constantly traipsing through my yard either -- especially if, like the op said, the neighbors don't otherwise give them the time of day. Now if they'd made any effort at friendliness, that would probably be a different story to me.

Good luck on your new baby, Jane!

I am continually amazed that many people don't have fences. In every community that I've lived in here in California, we had fences. The "no fence" thing is such a foreign concept to me. How does anyone know where their property line is?

We don't know where our property line is. When we moved here, we were told "the stump out back" was the property line, but then the neighbors told us it was the end of our garage. (about a 2 foot difference) We're going to have to get a surveyor to figure it out, but it's not a big deal to us or the neighbors as of now. I figure we'll hire one when we go to build a fence.

 

[dolphindan1]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

You are gonna blame the homeowner....thats crazy....These teenagers should already know to respect property, these kids should already know to respect adults and they dont...I doubt the OP would have a problem witht these kids if they were hiiting the ball into her yard away from her and the house but instead they are hitting it into there home and even after the husband asked thenm to stop 3 times....You dont have to be friends to have respect....

blame the homeowner how silly

 

[dolphindan1]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

you must be the neighbor

 

[disneyjunkie]

It seems like you are very protective of your property so you should get a fence. But ya know, I gotta say, I wouldn't think twice about neighbor kids playing ball and using my yard as the outfield. I might even take the opportunity to get to know them rather than harass them about where their balls landed. I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue. They are children. No one explained to the Dad that their ball seemed to come directly at pregnant you AFTER they were asked to stay in their yard. Now you are the mean neighbors and it's too bad. Put up a 10ft fence, 6 ft will accomplish nothing. Next time you get new neighbors, wether it's you moving or them, make an effort to get to know them immediately. You say they never wave, etc. What is it that you specifically do to invite their friendship?

I agree

No one should have to state their feelings about the boundary issue. It is NOT their property. These kids were trespassing and taught that doing so is acceptable.

I agree, you shouldn't have to say anything. But to allow it to go on for 6 years?

The kids and the dad were wrong.

 

[dolphindan1]

I agree



I agree, you shouldn't have to say anything. But to allow it to go on for 6 years?

The kids and the dad were wrong.

yeah but 6 years ago they were not trying to throw the ball or hit it through the wall of the garage...She didnt seem to have a problem with them being out in the yeard away from the house but as they got older and started hitting the house....now it has become destruction of property...let me come and hit balls off you house...i bet you will take issue with it too...not only that the rudeness and disrespect of the boys after they were politley asked to stop hitting the garage 3 times was totally uncalled for and they are very lucky they are not my neighbors....they are very lucky they are not my child...grounding would not cut it....I also dont think the OP should have to put up a fence to keep people out....JMHO

 

[Disney Doll]

I am amazed by the number of people on this thread who think it is OK to allow kids to do whatever they want.

No wonder our kids today are such screwballs. The adults aren't setting any sort of example.

OP, get your land surveyed and talk to your town as to the maximum fence height allowed.

Then put one up, put a lock on it, put a couple of No Trespassing signs on it.

Your neighbors do not have to be your friends. Heck , you don't even have to talk to your neighbors if you don't want to. The only expectation I have of my neighbors is that they respect my property, and I will respect theirs. If I have any further relationship with them than that, it's a bonus.

We live on a corner house. We had no fence when we moved in. We got a dog and fenced the yard in and still, I saw kids literally open the gate and walk through my yard, to cut across because they didn't want to walk the extra 20 feet required to go around the corner instead of cutting diagonally across my yard.

Of course, according to some on this thread, I should have put out cookies and milk for them, not cared that they didn't latch the gate properly so my dog got loose, not cared that if they fell in my yard I'd get sued, not care that if, for some reason, my normal gentle, happy, playful dog got taunted enough by these spoiled brats that he bit one of them it would be my fault for having a dog and a gate without an industrial sized lock because after all, they are only kids.

Yes, I think it's a fabulous idea to let these spoiled, self-centered egotistical brats do whatever they want because after all, they are only kids.

Sorry...kids need to be taught respect...respect for others', respect for property. There is a sad lack of respect in the world, because too many parents aren't willing to parent.

And we are just beginning to see the effects of that.

 

[aprilgail2]

I am continually amazed that many people don't have fences. In every community that I've lived in here in California, we had fences. The "no fence" thing is such a foreign concept to me. How does anyone know where their property line is?

!

I agree..I could never live somewhere without having a fence put up. Remember the saying is - Fences make good neighbors!!
As far as kid playing in MY backyard- sorry that would be a no go. If they got hurt playing in my backyard I am the one to get sued!!! My neighbor didn't have a fence in the front of their house and they had a swingset in their backyard- well they were away on vacation and some kid decided that he wanted to go on the swingset (you could see it from the street) and he got hurt, they sued my neighbors and WON!!! So no way would I leave myself open to something like that by not getting those kids out of my yard and a fence put up!

 

[dolphindan1]

I am amazed by the number of people on this thread who think it is OK to allow kids to do whatever they want.

No wonder our kids today are such screwballs. The adults aren't setting any sort of example.

OP, get your land surveyed and talk to your town as to the maximum fence height allowed.

Then put one up, put a lock on it, put a couple of No Trespassing signs on it.

Your neighbors do not have to be your friends. Heck , you don't even have to talk to your neighbors if you don't want to. The only expectation I have of my neighbors is that they respect my property, and I will respect theirs. If I have any further relationship with them than that, it's a bonus.

We live on a corner house. We had no fence when we moved in. We got a dog and fenced the yard in and still, I saw kids literally open the gate and walk through my yard, to cut across because they didn't want to walk the extra 20 feet required to go around the corner instead of cutting diagonally across my yard.

Of course, according to some on this thread, I should have put out cookies and milk for them, not cared that they didn't latch the gate properly so my dog got loose, not cared that if they fell in my yard I'd get sued, not care that if, for some reason, my normal gentle, happy, playful dog got taunted enough by these spoiled brats that he bit one of them it would be my fault for having a dog and a gate without an industrial sized lock because after all, they are only kids.

Yes, I think it's a fabulous idea to let these spoiled, self-centered egotistical brats do whatever they want because after all, they are only kids.

Sorry...kids need to be taught respect...respect for others', respect for property. There is a sad lack of respect in the world, because too many parents aren't willing to parent.

And we are just beginning to see the effects of that.

tell us how you really feel....

I am with you though...I am luck to have good neighbors on both sides...and the kids get along pretty well....but the problem in my neighborhood is Dogs....run everywhere and bark constantly. not a intruder bark but a constant 2 to 3 hour woof, woof, woof....I work nights and boy it drives me looney

 

[disneyjunkie]

yeah but 6 years ago they were not trying to throw the ball or hit it through the wall of the garage...She didnt seem to have a problem with them being out in the yeard away from the house but as they got older and started hitting the house....now it has become destruction of property...let me come and hit balls off you house...i bet you will take issue with it too...not only that the rudeness and disrespect of the boys after they were politley asked to stop hitting the garage 3 times was totally uncalled for and they are very lucky they are not my neighbors....they are very lucky they are not my child...grounding would not cut it....I also dont think the OP should have to put up a fence to keep people out....JMHO

Of course I'd have an issue with you doing that, but I would not allow it to go on.
If it annoys me on day one, it's going to annoy me on day 25. Why not speak up and put an end to it as soon as it starts?

 

[dolphindan1]

Of course I'd have an issue with you doing that, but I would not allow it to go on.
If it annoys me on day one, it's going to annoy me on day 25. Why not speak up and put an end to it as soon as it starts?

if you read the backstory they had asked them to stop a few times but the point is the day in question when the husband asked them to stop and they kept doing and the got obnoxious about it....The OP I think were trying to let the kids have a good time to an extent...but when an adult asked a kid to stop especially when that kid is trespassing and at a point of destruction of property that child should stop immediately and say yes sir or yes ma'am...not make fun of the adult...thats the problem...the issue is not that its happened for 6 years or 600 years...they told them to stop...plain and simple...and let my neighbor come on my property and insult me....I was taught your butt is responsible for what comes out your mouth....and trust me I stick to it

 

[MELSMICE]

I dunno. I'm going to be the voice of dissent, I know- but I don't see why it's a big deal either, other than when the kids got rude- that's uncalled for.

I agree. Everyone is different, but this wouldn't bother me at all.

The rudeness would bother me more - that is completely out of line, but kids playing ball in my yard is fine.

I honestly think your problem stems from not stating your feelings early on in boundary issue. These kids having been playing like this for years and all of a sudden the property line is an issue.

I agree. If they weren't told from the onset that this was an issue how would they know it bothered you?

I can understand your frustration, but I think you should have said something sooner instead of waiting 6 years.

BTW - I am not condoning the behavior of the kids or the dad, they should have shown respect when they were asked to stop. They were rude.

 

[Aardvarks]

Good fences make good neighbours

oh and a high pressure car wash/ yard cleaning hose helps

It is all about defensible space. We learned years back in the UK that communal space does not work.

An Englishman's home is his castle

Over here, the ball would have been taken after the very first polite warning

 

[dolphindan1]

Good fences make good neighbours

oh and a high pressure car wash/ yard cleaning hose helps

electric fences make good neighbors...

 

[becjlek]

Tape the dad and kids next time and put it on youtube.
I hope you have a great delivery and very very soon!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am amazed by the number of people on this thread who think it is OK to allow kids to do whatever they want.

No wonder our kids today are such screwballs. The adults aren't setting any sort of example.

OP, get your land surveyed and talk to your town as to the maximum fence height allowed.

Then put one up, put a lock on it, put a couple of No Trespassing signs on it.

Your neighbors do not have to be your friends. Heck , you don't even have to talk to your neighbors if you don't want to. The only expectation I have of my neighbors is that they respect my property, and I will respect theirs. If I have any further relationship with them than that, it's a bonus.

We live on a corner house. We had no fence when we moved in. We got a dog and fenced the yard in and still, I saw kids literally open the gate and walk through my yard, to cut across because they didn't want to walk the extra 20 feet required to go around the corner instead of cutting diagonally across my yard.

Of course, according to some on this thread, I should have put out cookies and milk for them, not cared that they didn't latch the gate properly so my dog got loose, not cared that if they fell in my yard I'd get sued, not care that if, for some reason, my normal gentle, happy, playful dog got taunted enough by these spoiled brats that he bit one of them it would be my fault for having a dog and a gate without an industrial sized lock because after all, they are only kids.

Yes, I think it's a fabulous idea to let these spoiled, self-centered egotistical brats do whatever they want because after all, they are only kids.

Sorry...kids need to be taught respect...respect for others', respect for property. There is a sad lack of respect in the world, because too many parents aren't willing to parent.

And we are just beginning to see the effects of that.

I agree 100% with you. We would NEVER have gone in a neighbor's yard as kids! Oh and if we got fresh with a neighbor I can guarantee you that we would not be playing ball for a very long time. I am so tired of people who refuse to teach their kids manners. You are not doing them any favors in the long run. Of course those are the same adults who think it is all about them.

 

[Aardvarks]

I agree 100% with you. We would NEVER have gone in a neighbor's yard as kids! Oh and if we got fresh with a neighbor I can guarantee you that we would not be playing ball for a very long time. I am so tired of people who refuse to teach their kids manners. You are not doing them any favors in the long run. Of course those are the same adults who think it is all about them.

My mam (mom) would have slapped me so hard when I was a child if I had been reported as being rude to any neighbour.

Manners maketh the man

Be polite.......speak softly............and carry a big stick

 

[Allison]

What an interesting read. In my area, there are very few fences and noone worries about a stray ball coming into your yard or kids crossing through the yard to retrieve things. It's a very small town environment where everyone looks out for everyone else. We live on a corner lot and kids cut through our yard all the time. It's just part of the culture here. During the winter when someone gets out their snowblower, many times they will just go down most of the block and clean up for everyone else.

Of course, I wouldn't want someone doing some kind of damage but we have never had that happen so far (crossing fingers it stays that way). The rudeness would be a problem but we haven't had that issue in my neighborhood either-believe me, if we did the neighborhood parents would be all over it.

Geez-I sound like I live in Mayberry with Opie and Aunt Bea.

OP-Congratulations on the new baby. I hope they come along soon. And I hope you don't have more problems with the neighbor.