How involved are you with your girl's troop and how much extra stuff do you have to do?
For our troop - each parent has to take one meeting and be in charge of it - we have to come up with the try-it activity, pay for any materials and for snacks.
A lot of parents opted for field trip activities that we then had to pay for - when I suggested a field trip for mine - she told me that we had too many "field trips" and that I would have to have a regular meeting so I can't ask for money from other parents.
We also have to help another troop plan a Father/Daughter dance in the spring so I have to pay for my DH and DD to go and all of the moms have to go work the event - which means I will have to get a babysitter for my DS. We were never asked if we wanted to assist with the event - we were told.
I also have turned down several other overnight trips that I would have to go on with my DD. One is scheduled for Mother's day weekend and when I pointed that out - she didn't seem to think that was that big of a deal
I am also the cookie mom - and my meeting to lead is scheduled for tomorrow (I didn't pick the date) - cookie delivery is this weekend and then there are cookie shops that I have to coordinate for the following 3 weekends on top of getting more cookies for additional orders placed. Last year - I ended up buying 30 extra box of cookies b/c we were not able to sell them all - I sent out emails letting everyone know there were extras and only one mom took any more.
So we have snow and it is unlikely there will be school tomorrow - to be honest I was so relieved!! I didn't want to have to lead the meeting and I feel stressed with all the other stuff I have to do for Brownies. So our leader sends out an email today - letting us know that if there is no school tomorrow then the meeting will be next week instead - she never asked me if that works for me or not - just assumed I would be there.
She also let more girls into the troop (I had supplies bought for the girls we had in the troop) and said that she would like more parents to be at the meetings b/c some of the girls are difficult to engage and she would like more assistance at meetings.
I honestly would like for this to just be our last year with it - but DD doesn't want to quit. So I guess my question to all of you is this normal level of parent involvment in a troop? I really think that as cookie mom - I should be good for doing enough but I feel like I have to do a million other things as well. This is our 3rd year in the troop but the first time it has been this stressful. We went from the laid back troop to where she signs us up for everything - despite the fact that her time seems more limited. It is costing more money and taking way more time than I ever anticipated. I don't think finding another troop would work b/c there are only 2 in the school and DD's best friends are all in this troop - for her it is about being with them - not really Girl Scouts.
I'm a leader of a Junior troop. I've been with the troop since Daisies. We've NEVER operated like this. Leaders receive some training regarding how to teach the girls to become independent and learn how to take on more leadership roles themselves. Parents do not receive this.
We used to do snacks back when we were Daisies and a really tiny troop but we haven't since then. We only meet for 1 hour. We don't have time for snacks. It's hard enough to accomplish what we want to do within a meeting so we don't want to take up more time with snacks. We meet 6:30-7:30 so everybody should have already eaten dinner. No need for snacks.
We occasionally send out a list of supplies that the troop will need for upcoming activities and if parents have them then they bring them in. The troop then buys anything that's not donated using troop funds. All badges (try-its when we were Brownies) and fun patches are paid for by the troop. The parents are expected to provide vests and insignia as well as $2/week dues but we also tell parents at the beginning of year parent meeting to come see us privately if they can not afford these and we'll work with them discreetly (it's nobody else's business). All expenses including field trips are paid for from dues, the fall fundraiser and cookie sales. We don't ask families to pay for anything else. If it's an activity that can support having family members attend (like when we went to Disney on Ice) then families can pay for the additional family members but the troop pays for troop members (girls and leaders; there are perks to being a leader LOL) plus if we need an additional parent due to official GS safety rules then the troop pays for that parent as well. We do give parents the option of buying certain GS books but make it clear that they're not mandatory. We photocopy pages from books if the pages are important for an activity.
We have actually told parents that they're not permitted to stay at meetings. Kids act differently with parents around. They're much better behaved without their parents and parents tend to chat and distract the girls.
You know, I really don't spend all that much time no GS outside of meetings. Right now we're working on our Journey awards and the leader book pretty much plans the meetings for us so right now it's taking me maybe 15 minutes to get ready for a meeting (review the plan and photocopy necessary pages). I don't know why it's necessary for parents to do all of what you're describing. If the leaders don't want to be leaders then they shouldn't sign on for it.
When working on badges, we're now at the point where the girls choose the next badge during our meeting, decide which patrol will lead which activity and then even plan how to do the work as well as what supplies will be needed (we're really working on this year being much more girl lead). In Brownies, us leaders planned the activities but it still only took a couple hours a couple times per year to set out the plan. It really isn't a huge committment on my part. I plan the meetings and our other leader does all the paperwork. She hates doing the planning and I hate the paperwork so we've really got a perfect partnership.
We meet every Monday unless there's no school. We do some field trips during meeting times but these are generally free such as meeting at the police station or a shelter or a store (stores do free tours and make these tours interesting and they provide all the supplies; this includes hardware stores, craft stores, grocery stores, pet stores, etc), always relevant to whatever we're working on at the moment. A few times per year we do have weekend field trips.
I definitely do understand troops that have to close themselves to new admissions. We told our Service Unit that we're not longer taking new girls when we hit 14 girls. All of our girls attend every meeting unless they're sick or in a sport with a conflicting time (the first 3 months of the year we're missing 3 or 4 girls for this). We still accepted girls who were friends of troop members but we said no more placements. With this, we're now up to 18 girls who are right now attending every single meeting with the exception of sickeness and when a girl misses a meeting we do try to come up with alternate activities so they can make up what they've missed (that actually is more work than planning the meeting since meetings are group efforts by the girls). We now are telling everybody that we will not take any more girls regardless of their situation. 18 girls is a lot for 2 leaders.
Luckily, we do get lots of volunteers for field trips. Those are fun though. We have to restrict our field trip volunteers to the number that we need for driving purposes and for Safety Wise. The girls at this point really do need to do activities without their parents. We always choose the parents that have been most supportive of the troop for these priviledges. Yes, in our troop being chosen to volunteer is a privilidge and we have parents vying for this.
ETA: No way should you have been responsible for the cost of the leftover cookies. The troop should have picked up the tab on that. Us leaders do try to make sure that aren't any left but if there are then the troop pays for them and then uses then at our awards ceremony for snacks. Leaders within our Service Unit also email back and forth what kind of needs troops have for cookies so we can swap between troops. Within our own troop we send emails to parents regarding what cookies are left so parents can all try to sell the remainders. In the end, we generally don't end up with more than a few leftover boxes for the toop to pay for.
I was looking to join an established troop that had its act together, and that wasn't available in my area. It was never that I didn't want to participate - I just didn't want to be in the midst of what seemed like looming chaos.
The most common way to find an established troop is for your daughter to have a friend in a troop and to inquire if your daughter can join. If you join through open recruitment, you'll most likely be placed in a new troop. That's how most of us started. There just weren't troops to be found so our daughters were wait listed so we just stepped up to do it ourselves. You either step up or accept what's given to you. There really is no other way. We definitely did not have our act together in the beginning but we've grown a lot as leaders (and as parents) as time has gone on.
I am surprised though that there wasn't already somebody there who was listed as the leader before you met for the first time. Our Service Unit won't assign a girl to a troop without somebody already stating they'll be the leader. They may not have had their training yet (though before the troop can meet they have to have at least a certain level of training but they may not have had the bulk of it) but they would have had the first part and would certainly be listed officially as the leader. That part does seem odd. I'm surprised by your Service Unit.