Girl Scout Girl Drama -don't know what to do

[dawson5]

Yes the girls are in 4th grade.

As leader/mom/after school leader - I have many differnt point of view. As leader and after school leader I need to ensure that all the girls/students are treated eqaully and fairly.

I too am concerned about the three girls decision to "kick" the fourth girl out without an explanation.

I still feel that this could be labeled as bullying. I think people are hesitant to use this word. Yes the three girls, my dd being on of them, started it. I get that.And my dd has to take responsibilty for her actions. Which I believe she is doing. I also get that the fourth girl has a right to be upset. But... she has taken it too far. Its the last few weeks of school and suddenly my dd does not want to go because of this girls antics.

DD is not responding to the texts. She is not responding when called names. She is not talking about it with anyone other than me. I told her not to even talk about it with the two other orginal girls. Those girls apoloogized and were forgiven by the fourth girl. So really at this point my dd is the fourht girls main target.

I will be finding out how to block the texts. I need to call sprint becaus I have no idea how to do this. My age is showing

Log in to Sprint.com. Hover over "my sprint" and it will have three links: account, device, preferences. Choose preferences. Look to the bottom for "all about my account" and the section "limits and permissions." There is a "block texts" option. Choose her phone and it should open a window, last option is to block all texts to and from these numbers. Input that number, click the add number button, save (on the bottom) and you should be good to go.

I had to do this when my son first got his phone, for the most part kids were good, but there was one girl who was rude. I didn't even tell him, I just blocked her number. It came to a head one night when we were at dinner, I was done and he asked me to hold his phone while he ate. He received another nasty text from her, I let her know it was his mom who had the phone (I told him it was another text from her, he was okay with me reading and replying) and she didn't believe me. She called and I told her that I knew her mother would be greatly disappointed in her actions. She didn't say a word and just hung up. That night I went online and blocked her.

It's hard to know when to step in. I think at this age, if she has tried, and this girl is still persisting with the name calling, etc., you need to step in. Sounds like it is getting progressively worse. She has to recognize when it's futile and someone of authority (teacher/principal, parent) needs to step in and address the situation.

 

[rie'smom]

Yes the girls are in 4th grade.

As leader/mom/after school leader - I have many differnt point of view. As leader and after school leader I need to ensure that all the girls/students are treated eqaully and fairly.

I too am concerned about the three girls decision to "kick" the fourth girl out without an explanation.

I still feel that this could be labeled as bullying. I think people are hesitant to use this word. Yes the three girls, my dd being on of them, started it. I get that.And my dd has to take responsibilty for her actions. Which I believe she is doing. I also get that the fourth girl has a right to be upset. But... she has taken it too far. Its the last few weeks of school and suddenly my dd does not want to go because of this girls antics.

DD is not responding to the texts. She is not responding when called names. She is not talking about it with anyone other than me. I told her not to even talk about it with the two other orginal girls. Those girls apoloogized and were forgiven by the fourth girl. So really at this point my dd is the fourht girls main target.

I will be finding out how to block the texts. I need to call sprint becaus I have no idea how to do this. My age is showing

Putting the girl out was not bullying. According to the OP, she was not taking the practice seriously.

Hold onto the texts-do not erase them. If this escalates, you have her saying these things.

The way I would handle it is at the meeting, I would pull her aside nicely. Then I would tell her that I can understand why she is upset however her sending the ugly text messages is not ok. Next, I would tell her that I have copies of her texts and if she doesn't stop being ugly, I will show them to both her mother and the principal. I would also make it clear that this is her only warning. Then I'd give her a hug and move on.

The reason I would get involved is because the kid cannot let it go and she is making what should have remained a small problem worse by telling everyone about it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree that, at this age (wow, 4th grade....) that a parent could, and maybe should, get involved. As mentioned in Ms.Pete's post above.

HOWEVER, I would limit just HOW I became involved, especially as a Scout Leader, until there is a clear and over-riding reason.
I very hightly suspect that this catalyst could very well occur the very next time the scouts get together. Seems to be too much fuel on this fire now, especially for these young girls.

In most cases, I think it may be very counter-productive to start getting involved too personally, and involving this girl's parents and other scout parents...... The whole 'snowflake' thing. I would tread VERY, VERY, carefully.

Sometimes the most effective course of action is to let a kid take good fall before catching them.

YES, I would hover VERY close with my own child.
YES, I would not hesitate any action that would be necesarry and appropriate as a scout leader, when absolutely necessary.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Putting the girl out was not bullying. According to the OP, she was not taking the practice seriously.

I totally agree with this....
Because this girl, who almost sounds troubled, is a member of the scout troop, does not translate into a 24/7 obligation for your child.

Not at all.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am also a GS leader and I would not bring this into GS unless the girls bring it there. I also would not directly talk to the girl.

I would work with my DD to figure out how to handle the situation. Let her take the lead, but guide her, and be there when she needs someone to talk to.

If the texts continue, I would get the school involved, but I suspect things will blow over shortly. If you expect the girl to forgive your DD for throwing her off the talent show act, then your DD needs to be able to forgive the girl for the texts.

 

[aprilgail2]

I am also a GS leader and I would not bring this into GS unless the girls bring it there. I also would not directly talk to the girl.

I would work with my DD to figure out how to handle the situation. Let her take the lead, but guide her, and be there when she needs someone to talk to.

If the texts continue, I would get the school involved, but I suspect things will blow over shortly. If you expect the girl to forgive your DD for throwing her off the talent show act, then your DD needs to be able to forgive the girl for the texts.

As a girl scout leader I would NOT bring it into girl scouts. My co-leader and I have an arrangement that anything involving my daughter she handles and anything involving hers I handle so there is no favoritism. I would not discuss it with the child unless she brought it to girl scouts and then I would let the co-leader handle it if she does not have a child involved in this drama.

 

[luvmy3]

I would call the girl's mom since I consider repeated texts harrassment. I would just make her aware of what was going on in case she wasn't and ask her to have a talk with her dd about the texts and tell her to stop.
Unless it becomes a problem during GS, I wouldn't personally involve myself with the other girl.

 

[FredinFL]

I'd take the cell phone over to the kid's mom and show her the hateful things her daughter's been texting. She and your daughter handled it and NOW she's giving YOUR dh trouble? What's the kid supposed to do? Give her a blood signed statement of apology?

I'd be over there with phone in hand, with my daughter, and talking to both mom and daughter.

 

[sparklynails23]

Putting the girl out was not bullying. According to the OP, she was not taking the practice seriously.

According to the OP's daughter, a 9 or 10 year old, the other girl wasn't taking the practice seriously. Considering the fact that the other two girls apologized and have been forgiven, I'm not sure that the OP's daughter wasn't the original bully. The texting girl should be let back on the talent show team, but her mom should be told about her mean texts. If they are forced to work together toward a goal, they will all get along.

 

[Wishing on a star]

....my dd has to take responsibilty for her actions. Which I believe she is doing. I also get that the fourth girl has a right to be upset. But... she has taken it too far. Its the last few weeks of school and suddenly my dd does not want to go because of this girls antics.

Yes, exactly....

THIS, continual and ongoing behavior by the one girl is clearly the only place this situation has crossed over into clear bullying and harassment.....

No doubt about it....

I still would hesitate to take any action and/or involve other parents and girls until all lines have crossed over into an actual scout function/activity.

School year is all but over.... Hang in there!!!!

Also, of course... document, document, document.... in case all information, texts, etc. become necessary.