Gifting a trip for my niece

[DisneyFave]

Hi everyone!

I really want to take my 3 yr old niece to Disney World for 3 nights for MNSSHP (she'll be 2 weeks shy of 4 yrs old for the trip). It will cost me about $2000 for 4 days (!) since I'll have to fly to her city to accompany her on the flight to MCO. I don't have kids of my own yet and I've been dying to take her for years!

I realize this is a highly family-specific question, but I was wondering what people generally think about me asking my brother to contribute to the cost of her trip (say, her $400 flight, and I'd cover the hotel and park tix and meals). My brother is a lot better off financially than I am, and he and his wife have zero interest in Disney. But since it's a "gift" from me I feel odd asking him to contribute.

What do you think? Would that be weird? Since I'm not a parent I don't think I have a good grasp on how such a request would be received (especially by a non-Disney fan

 

[*pixie*dust*]

If it is a "gift" and you are initiating the trip, you should really pay for the whole trip for her. After all at 3, she will have very little memory of the trip-- it's really about fun for you, so asking your brother to pay isn't really appropriate. (I am not saying that as a negative thing-- I took my niece and nephew before I had kids as well).

 

[JanaDee]

Hi everyone! I really want to take my 3 yr old niece to Disney World for 3 nights for MNSSHP (she'll be 2 weeks shy of 4 yrs old for the trip). It will cost me about $2000 for 4 days (!) since I'll have to fly to her city to accompany her on the flight to MCO. I don't have kids of my own yet and I've been dying to take her for years! I realize this is a highly family-specific question, but I was wondering what people generally think about me asking my brother to contribute to the cost of her trip (say, her $400 flight, and I'd cover the hotel and park tix and meals). My brother is a lot better off financially than I am, and he and his wife have zero interest in Disney. But since it's a "gift" from me I feel odd asking him to contribute. What do you think? Would that be weird? Since I'm not a parent I don't think I have a good grasp on how such a request would be received (especially by a non-Disney fan

Since it is a gift and initiated by you, you should cover the entire cost.

 

[Alesia]

If it is a "gift" and you are initiating the trip, you should really pay for the whole trip for her. After all at 3, she will have very little memory of the trip-- it's really about fun for you, so asking your brother to pay isn't really appropriate. (I am not saying that as a negative thing-- I took my niece and nephew before I had kids as well).

MTE.

A gift is a gift. Don't ask him to contribute.

 

[DisneyFave]

Haha glad I asked here first!!! Thanks everyone.

I'm now finding some pretty amazing deals on Expedia (flight and hotel combos)... so maybe it won't be so bad!

 

[kymom99]

Maybe he will ask if he can contribute and you can suggest helping with the transportation.

 

[LJSquishy]

Since you're considering taking your brother's child on a trip, I'm going to assume you're all pretty close and spend quite a bit of time together. In your case, I don't see a problem with at least putting feelers out there as to whether or not he might contribute money for her plane ticket. I bet he probably would, if he's on board with her going and can swing the cost of it. I personally don't see an issue with asking since it's your immediate family who you clearly get along well with. The best scenario would be not to ask him to contribute of course, but if you do ask and he says he can't contribute, you'll have to be okay with paying 100% of the cost.

I will stand in for your niece if she can't go.

 

[4shinystars]

I see that you mentioned having to fly to get her. Does that mean you do not see your niece often? (weekly, monthly) If not she may not be up to being away from her parents, even if it is WDW. It's an iffy age.

 

[Darcy03231]

I took my niece when she was four and I paid for everything. Flight, park tickets, hotel, MNSSHP tickets, BBB, souvenirs, a new "Disney" wardrobe, etc.

If it is something you want to do, then you should pay for it. You could take any money your brother offers though. I knew my sister and BIL couldn't afford to pitch in and I never would have asked anyway since it was a gift to my niece.

 

[DisneyFave]

I see that you mentioned having to fly to get her. Does that mean you do not see your niece often? (weekly, monthly) If not she may not be up to being away from her parents, even if it is WDW. It's an iffy age.

Another good point! I was concerned about that. I see her every other month, sometimes more, and she's always super duper excited to see me and have me babysit her all day. But I suppose a 3 night trip could be another story.

 

[KKB]

Right now this trip is more for you than her (NOT that there is anything wrong with that!) but she will remember little. I went to Disneyland when I was 5 and the only thing I remember is the teacups...

My thoughts are if you are going to spend that kind of $, make it a trip she can remember for the rest of her life. Being a teacher, I would recommend about 7--old enough to have good endurance for the parks, will remember most of it & are still young enough to love it all (we missed the princess age)

Now, if you still really want to do this now, I would say it is on you.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think it is so kind of you to take her to WDW. I do agree that it's your idea and gift and you should foot the bill.

I would consider a few other things too:
- I assume you have cleared it with her parents.
- I would do a trial run before hand. On a trip to her home, plan to take her to a hotel for "girl" time for a night or two. Choose somewhere with an indoor pool and see how it goes. OR suggest that her parents may enjoy a weekend away while you stay at their home with her.
-Think about the MNSSHP. It a expensive late night. Most preschoolers are not able to stay up late enough to make the cost worth it. We waited until our boys were school age.
-Don't dismiss the trip just because she wont remember it. Preschool is a super fun, magical time to enjoy WDW and I would not trade those trips for anything.

 

[Cirlonde]

Man, I just want to know how you've convinced your niece's parents to let you take her to WDW! My brother's wife is so anxious, I don't think she'd let me take my niece to the park down the street, let alone to Disney! She barely lets the kid out of her sight most of the time.

You're so lucky...and I'm so jealous. My niece is almost 3 and ever since she was born I've been daydreaming about taking her to WDW. I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to have to fork over enough cash for the entire family to go if I want it to ever happen!!

 

[drcmk]

Have you asked your brother and his wife for permission to take their child on a trip? Before you buy anything, you should ask if it is okay. Every family is different, but I would not have let permitted my child to go on a vacation without me at age four.

 

[LJSquishy]

Another good point! I was concerned about that. I see her every other month, sometimes more, and she's always super duper excited to see me and have me babysit her all day. But I suppose a 3 night trip could be another story.

I somehow missed in your first post that you'd have to fly to her city to pick her up. Age 3 is almost certainly too young for her to be away from Mom & Dad for several nights in a row if you don't see her on a really regular basis already (weekly). Three is a tricky age...naps/no naps, trouble sleeping at night due to nightmares/night terrors, not understanding where Mom & Dad are, etc.

I would probably try to hold out on taking her to Disney World until she is at least 6. A 5 year old would do fine away from home for a few days, but at 6+ they would have more memories of the trip, be able to do more, etc.

You can at least ask your brother, though, on what his thoughts are.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Man, I just want to know how you've convinced your niece's parents to let you take her to WDW! My brother's wife is so anxious, I don't think she'd let me take my niece to the park down the street, let alone to Disney! She barely lets the kid out of her sight most of the time.

You're so lucky...and I'm so jealous. My niece is almost 3 and ever since she was born I've been daydreaming about taking her to WDW. I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to have to fork over enough cash for the entire family to go if I want it to ever happen!!

From a parent's point of view, this is exactly why I would probably not allow a 3 yr old of mine on an extended trip. (Maybe with grandparents.) This may come as a shock to you, but you can't let a toddler/preschooler out of your sight. It doesn't mean the mom is anxious; she simply knows better. Kids that young can't be left unattended. Period.
It only takes half a second for them to wander outdoors, hide amongst clothes in a store, put something tiny/choke hazard in their mouths, color on the walls, walk into the street,etc.
This is why parents with kids this age are exhausted (besides the constantly broken sleep).
You can't even imagine it until it's your own child and you're living la vita loco.

 

[irishdancemomma]

From a parent's point of view, this is exactly why I would probably not allow a 3 yr old of mine on an extended trip. (Maybe with grandparents.) This may come as a shock to you, but you can't let a toddler/preschooler out of your sight. It doesn't mean the mom is anxious; she simply knows better. Kids that young can't be left unattended. Period. It only takes half a second for them to wander outdoors, hide amongst clothes in a store, put something tiny/choke hazard in their mouths, color on the walls, walk into the street,etc. This is why parents with kids this age are exhausted (besides the constantly broken sleep). You can't even imagine it until it's your own child and you're living la vita loco.

I don't think that was what she meant by that statement. I'm pretty sure she meant the mother doesn't let anyone babysit for her. Of course a responsible parent always has an eye on their toddler.

 

[summabreeze85]

I would definitely do the trip...my parents and I took my nephew (their grandson) to Disney when he was 3 and 4 without his parents and he had a blast. I still picture him in my head seeing Buzz for the first time and walking up and making muscles like buzz was...he has the biggest smile on his face in the picture. Who cares if she doesn't remember every single moment of it when she's 10? She's going to have a blast. We took a ton of pictures and made an album for my nephew when we got home...he would carry it around the house with him for the longest time. Don't wait because you never know what can happen. Life's too short - YOLO.
As for asking your brother to help with the cost of the flight I don't see a problem with that. You are paying for everything else. I'd do anything possible though to get the cost down (cheapest flight available, Disney gift cards at a discount).

 

[SirDuff]

I don't think that was what she meant by that statement. I'm pretty sure she meant the mother doesn't let anyone babysit for her. Of course a responsible parent always has an eye on their toddler.

That's how I read it to. That the mom doesn't let her daughter out of HER sight - even if there are other adult eyes on the little one. Not that the PP would let her niece out of her sight if babysitting her/taking her on a trip.

OP - if you are offering the trip, I'd offer to pay the whole thing.

In terms of age, my nephew would likely have been okay at that age but not my niece. I live about a 15 minute walk away from them so see them a lot, but I still wouldn't have taken them that far until they were 5 or 6. But that's me (and not what you asked).

 

[Darcy03231]

Man, I just want to know how you've convinced your niece's parents to let you take her to WDW! My brother's wife is so anxious, I don't think she'd let me take my niece to the park down the street, let alone to Disney! She barely lets the kid out of her sight most of the time.

You're so lucky...and I'm so jealous. My niece is almost 3 and ever since she was born I've been daydreaming about taking her to WDW. I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to have to fork over enough cash for the entire family to go if I want it to ever happen!!

I think a lot depends on your relationship with your niece's parents, your niece herself and what kind of child she is.

In my case, my sister and BIL and my family are really close. We've traded kids back and forth for years for many things. My kids have gone places with them, theirs with us, etc. We see each other frequently and all the cousins are close.

The niece I took is from my sisters 2nd marriage and there's a big age difference between her and her sisters and my children. She was the only one that had never been to WDW. DS and BIL had a series of unfortunate events which meant financially they couldn't take her. I could and wanted to. They knew that I would watch her closely so that wasn't an issue. Also, she's the type of kid that wouldn't be homesick. We were gone for a week. She never gave her mother a backward glance at the airport, would hardly talk to her or BIL on the phone during the week and when her mom came to pick her up at my house after the trip, she didn't want to go home!

She was definitely the type of kid that you could take on a trip like that. I have a nephew, however, that at 10 still wouldn't stay overnight anywhere but at home or at his grandparents house (either set). I would never have suggested taking him as it would have been a disaster.