Gift exchanges and not staying in the price limit

[npmommie]

does it bother you when someone in a gift exchange goes over the price limit?
the gymnastics team does a gift exchange each year, this year the price limit was $5
I stayed within that, as did several others.
but some did not.
my dd ended up with a gift that I know cost about $15 ( unless of course the person who bought it got a great sale!).

anyway, it made me feel bad that we stayed in the range, and others didn't.
she was beyond thrilled with the gift.
does this kind of scenario make you feel bad that you didn't go over the price point as well?

I kind of feel like next year if they make the price point $10 people will be spending $30

 

[DawnM]

I often buy things at 75% off so I wouldn't necessarily think they overspent, BUT, I also know there are situations where people ignore the limits.

I wouldn't feel bad, I really wouldn't. There were rules in place and maybe they broke them or maybe they didn't, but it isn't wrong to follow the rules!

 

[shoney]

A few years ago at my son's karate school, they had a gift exchange. The limit was $5 and ofcourse some people spent more. Everyone was jealous of the kids who got the "good" gifts and it made the $5 ones look cheap. IMO, spending more or even giving something worth a lot more (whether you paid that much or not) isn't a good idea!

 

[luvmy3]

I often give gifts that have a higher value then what I paid for them so I wouldn't assume that people were ignoring the spending limit. I wouldn't feel bad at all, even if they did knowingly go over the limit because it was their choice to do it.

 

[mamaLori05]

You definately should not feel bad. I am one of those that usually goes over the limit if it's a $5 limit. I don't do it to make anyone feel bad, and I don't do it expecting something more back in return. For me, it's just easier to find something in that $10 range than in the $5 range. Plus you never know, maybe the person really did find that gift for $5. Maybe they get a discount at that store, or maybe they found a coupon, who knows.

 

[luvmy3]

A few years ago at my son's karate school, they had a gift exchange. The limit was $5 and ofcourse some people spent more. Everyone was jealous of the kids who got the "good" gifts and it made the $5 ones look cheap. IMO, spending more or even giving something worth a lot more (whether you paid that much or not) isn't a good idea!

If that is a real issue, then there shouldn't be spending limits, their should be value limits put in place.

 

[cocodog]

I have faced similar situations. It can be fun to shop carefully and challenge yourself to stay within the $ limit. Maybe some people can't be that creative, or feel the need to look ;superior'. Not sure why, but this will always happen. No need for you to feel bad-- you followed the rules

 

[AndreaDM]

I wouldn't feel bad, however, if YOU choose to go over the limit and then get the $5 gift don't complain! Last year my nephew's class had a $5 exchange, of course my sister went way over, then called me to bi!ch about him getting only a $5 gift! Uh, that was the rule!

 

[MrsPete]

I often buy things at 75% off so I wouldn't necessarily think they overspent, BUT, I also know there are situations where people ignore the limits.

I hear what you're saying, but that's part of the problem: The perceived cost of the gift is higher than what you actually paid, and that makes people feel that they've been "skimpy" with thier own giving.

To give a clear-cut example: I bought a couple of the $50 iTunes cards at Walmart for $35. Even though I paid $35, this is perceived as a $50 gift.

In a situation where everyone's been given a limit, it's right to stick to the gift's worth, value, perceived cost.

 

[krcit]

I bought a Cuponk for my ds's exchange. It was $10 on sale, normally $14. i didn't think twice about it but now I'm hoping it's ok

 

[cats mom]

Nope, wouldn't feel bad for staying within the limit; but wouldn't fault those who go over, or maybe just appear to go over, either.

I'm sending DD with an over the limit gift today as a matter of fact. Her friend called on Monday and invited her to a party with a $5 limit exchange on Wednesday. I don't have a $5 gift laying around, but I do have an extra $10 gift that I can send - so that's what I'm doing. Shopping for something even halfway decent, while staying under $5, is just not on my agenda for this week, sorry.

I swear gift exchanges have definitely provided me with teaching moments this year. Sometimes I think you just can't win, no matter what you do.

 

[ssawka]

That's why I like "white elephant" gift exchanges. You can try to grab the more expensive gift!

 

[DisneyMomma81]

Well.... what if the retail value is higher but the giver got a deal?? This past Fri. we had a family party - we exchanged family gifts and the price limit was $20 ~ I got them WII Guilty Party *retail value is $40 at the moment - well I got it for $19.99 from amazon.com - I also threw in a bag of M&Ms for them

 

[minnie mouse]

I am guilty, I always go over the limit. It's not that I expect a more expensive gift in return I just enjoy giving.

 

[QVCshopper]

I bought a Cuponk for my ds's exchange. It was $10 on sale, normally $14. i didn't think twice about it but now I'm hoping it's ok

And I got Cuponk for $2 at Target. I don't know. I often give gifts at b-days that I got for really cheap. For example, I got a $10 mug for $1 with the cousin's name on it (still sells for $10 at other retailers) and a $20 Barbie for $2.50. In these instances, I give the gift and that's it, but if people knew what I spent versus the perceived price, I'm sure I'd be called cheap. I'm just an extreme shopper; I'm good at hunting down deals. It's a tough situation, but I wouldn't just assume the person spent $15.

 

[ajk912]

I hear what you're saying, but that's part of the problem: The perceived cost of the gift is higher than what you actually paid, and that makes people feel that they've been "skimpy" with thier own giving.

To give a clear-cut example: I bought a couple of the $50 iTunes cards at Walmart for $35. Even though I paid $35, this is perceived as a $50 gift.

In a situation where everyone's been given a limit, it's right to stick to the gift's worth, value, perceived cost.

The problem with going with perceived cost is every store charges a different price, so how do you find the hypothetical retail cost? The Itune example is one of the few examples of a retail cost. Most things, a board game, or set of markers or lip balms or a set of nailpolishes or anything else you would normally take for a $5 gift exchange you will see retail values all over the map.

I don't consider it to be fair to walk into Kohls or Justice and say, "Oh, look, the retail value of a set of lipbalms is $9.90. I have a ten dollar gift!" Because those are two examples of stores that mark up just to say it's a great deal. Go across the street to Walmart and you can likely find a similiar or identical set of lipbalms for $5. So that's a five dollar gift. So who is right? The person who went with the ACTUAL cost or the person who went by the retail value? I think the person who went by the actual cost. You will always find a place that charges more, that doesn't make the true retail value higher. Using the lipbalm example you might find a ebay seller charging $50 for them saying it's a rare collectible..it's hardly a $50 gift IMO!

 

[worm761]

In boyfriend's family we only exchange with the kids. We have a $30 limit. Now, I know how much everything that was sent to DD cost because I have been looking at these things. I know that they stayed well under the limit. But DD will love it and that is what matters. On the other hand, Nephew wanted a tunnel. We went on Black Friday and found an awesome tunnel for half price. We went slightly over the limit but it was half off and a great deal and he will love it. His sister knows it was expensive and wanted to know how much. I just told her I am cheap and never pay full price. We stayed in limits. We also bought her step daughter and his niece gifts that was well under the the limit but only because I had coupons. They have no idea how much I paid, only how much the think I paid.

 

[woodkins]

It usually in my experience works in the opposite direction. Last night dd8's cheerleading team did a gift exchange. Gifts were supposed to be a $20 value. Many girls brought in gift cards for $20 to different stores etc, and about 5 brought pillow pets. DD ended up getting a gift bag with a pair of socks, one nail polish and a small lotion from bath and body works. She was so disappointed, especially after seeing all of the gifts that the other girls got. She handled it well and said thank you with a smile on her face, but was quiet the whole way home. I'm thinking there weren't too many cheer mom's that frequent the disboards budget board for good deals

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

It's so funny that I found this thread as dh and I were talking about this but we had the opposite experience. My dh had a gift exchange at work with all his colleagues. They are about 15 people exchanging and the gift had to be about $25.00 to make it fair. This was e-mailed to everyone and all agreed on it. We bought a really nice red sweatshirt hoodie with our NHL hockey team emblem on it. The price was $27.00 with the tax. Well, at the exchange this week my dh was shocked at what he saw. Most people had brought gifts that were well under $10 and things that it seemed they just had at home lying around. For example, a box of 4 christmas tree balls, many bottles of wine that were under $10, a box of chocolates etc. Needless to say, everyone was upset that they did not get my dh's gift! Oh, and my dh ended up with one of those cheap bottles of wine!LOL

 

[jlima]

The opposite experience is what I had a few years ago at an office gift exchange; limit was $15 and I went over budget by $2 and got a bottle of Ketel One at Sam's Club. I went home with A PAIR OF SOCKS. No joke.

I work for Goodwill and for our office gift exchange we were asked to support our mission and buy something at our of our stores. So everybody got something from Goodwill.