Well that time of year has come round for me yet again and I hate it
See it will be the 3rd Anniversary on the 30th September since my beautiful son Thomas was born, unfortunately he was stillborn at 39 weeks through the pregnancy and as you can imagine its difficult to understand WHY even three years down the line.
Sometimes there is no explanation is there ? Doesn't help though, and even though I have a brilliant family and great friends around me I still feel so ALONE on his anniversary as if I am the only person who has ever gone through this, I know it sounds stupid but thats just how I feel.
I think at the time it was harder for me eldest son Billy at the time to understand, as you know 9 months is a long time for us adults, for a 6 year old kid it seems to be twice as long so when he seen Mummys belly getting bigger and bigger and at the end no brother or sister to play with, it hit him hard, he's one of those lads anyway what likes loads of cuddles even now and hes 9, and he often talks about Thomas or just brings him into conversation which helps me and his dad no end without him even realising it, it just shows you life goes on.
When we lost Thomas me and my DH were adamant that we wouldn't chance losing another one again, and that we would just be grateful for Billy but things don't always happen like that and god are we happy it never because 10 months after losing Thomas I found out I was pregnant again, as you can imagine it wasn't a very restful or happy pregnancy as all of us were worried all the time and no matter what anybody said you just couldn't believe everything was going to be OK, but low and behold 6 months later after weekly checks at the hospital I gave birth to a healthy 7lb 2oz little boy who we named Jack three weeks early. It didn't replace Thomas nothing ever will but it helps, it helps alot.
Sorry to go on and on, but this time of year always gets to me and I just felt I needed to get it off my chest, so thank you for taking the time to read this.
See it will be the 3rd Anniversary on the 30th September since my beautiful son Thomas was born, unfortunately he was stillborn at 39 weeks through the pregnancy and as you can imagine its difficult to understand WHY even three years down the line.Sometimes there is no explanation is there ? Doesn't help though, and even though I have a brilliant family and great friends around me I still feel so ALONE on his anniversary as if I am the only person who has ever gone through this, I know it sounds stupid but thats just how I feel.
I think at the time it was harder for me eldest son Billy at the time to understand, as you know 9 months is a long time for us adults, for a 6 year old kid it seems to be twice as long so when he seen Mummys belly getting bigger and bigger and at the end no brother or sister to play with, it hit him hard, he's one of those lads anyway what likes loads of cuddles even now and hes 9, and he often talks about Thomas or just brings him into conversation which helps me and his dad no end without him even realising it, it just shows you life goes on.
When we lost Thomas me and my DH were adamant that we wouldn't chance losing another one again, and that we would just be grateful for Billy but things don't always happen like that and god are we happy it never because 10 months after losing Thomas I found out I was pregnant again, as you can imagine it wasn't a very restful or happy pregnancy as all of us were worried all the time and no matter what anybody said you just couldn't believe everything was going to be OK, but low and behold 6 months later after weekly checks at the hospital I gave birth to a healthy 7lb 2oz little boy who we named Jack three weeks early. It didn't replace Thomas nothing ever will but it helps, it helps alot.
Sorry to go on and on, but this time of year always gets to me and I just felt I needed to get it off my chest, so thank you for taking the time to read this.
